Just Do It

Just Do It

There was a discussion that was had on Episode 109 of the R9Cast that I'd like to give an opinion on.  The hosts of the show, Bridgette and Esgee, were discussing the language that should be used on their show.  Esgee's opinion was that the people on the show should be free to use any kind of language they want, even if that language is considered unclean to some people.  Bridgette's opinion was that they should try to make a clean show that "everybody can enjoy."  The discussion between the two hosts became quite acrimonious and went on throughout the entire show.

My viewpoint on language lies somewhere in the middle.  Bridgette's viewpoint of using language that "everyone can enjoy" is something that irks me.  When I hear the phrase "something everything can enjoy" I interpret that thing as being sanitized to the point where it has lost all it's meaning.  Whenever I hear something is "family friendly" "wholesome" or "clean", I interpret that as being boring.

There are people who effort to produce content that is clean while also producing content that is interesting.  Such is the case with me and my approach to The Black Robin Christmas Carol.  The language used in that book is, unlike any of my other work, devoid of any swear words.  In fact, the harshest word that is used in that book is "bimbo", a word a hesitated to use.  My approach to the language used in this book was not influenced by market forces, societal demands, or my religious beliefs.  The language that was used, or not used, in The Black Robin Christmas Carol was a decision I made.  I made the decision because of how I felt that a story of that nature should be handled and how that story should be articulated.

When I released The Black Robin Christmas Carol I did not make a big deal about there not being any language that people may view as objectionable.  If you look back at the statements, blog posts, and annoying inferences I've made to that book, the subject of language is not brought up.  Talking about the language that I used in The Black Robin Christmas Carol is something that never really crossed my mind.  This is due to my viewpoint on how people should express their moral values.  People should not shout to the world that they are a good, upstanding, moral person.  Instead, people should just be good, upstanding moral people and let other people recognize them for their actions.  Even if people do not recognize you for your actions, you should still do them because you feel that they are good.  Shouting to the world that you are a good person is not something that a good person should do.

The approach that I would advise people to take to language is to approach the language you use in the way that you feel is most appropriate without making a big deal about it.  If people around you use language that you find objectionable, to not berate them about using inappropriate language.  Instead serve as a great example to those around you, and possibly the people who use language you object to, and use language to articulate yourself in the way you feel is most appropriate.  All berating others about the language that they use accomplishes is to make you look like the unreasonable one.  Instead of saying you want to use language that "everybody can enjoy", just do it.

Also, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Volume 11: Part 1- Moenia Prima: Wednesday, June 15th, 9:05 A.M.

Wednesday, June 15th, 9:05 A.M.

My job interview with Mattison was scheduled for today.  I had gotten all prepared like I had for my other interviews and was about to leave.  Then I got a phone call before I left the house.

"Hello, can I speak to Hato Shurtleff?"

"This is Hato Shurtleff speaking."

"Hi.  This is Martha from Mattison.  You are scheduled to have a job interview with us today."

"Yes, I was just about to leave for your office."

"That's why I am calling you.  We received a call from the Moenia Prima Police Department late yesterday.  Were you arrested on Wednesday night?"

Shit.  "Yes, yes I was arrested on Saturday night, but allow me to-"

"Well then, I must tell you that Mattison has a policy of not hiring someone with a criminal record."

"But miss, let me-"

"In fact, I'm calling to tell you that we've cancelled your appointment for today."

"But I haven't been convicted, and the arrest was complete-"

"Company policy is clear on this.  There is no discussion to be had.  Good day."  Then there was a click followed by a dial tone.

FUCK

Hato Shurtleff

Volume 11: Part 1- Moenia Prima: Saturday, June 11th, 9:05 A.M.

Saturday, June 11^th, 9:05 A.M.

I just got home after a long exhaustive night.  We did not have fun.  I’m not referring to the fact that Matthew and Aaron came with us.  This was a whole different kind of bad.

Our night began with the party held at the cultural center.  This actually was fun, remarkable given the kind of stuffy people who run it.  There weren’t any kind of games or activities or any kind of formal structure behind this party.  Just an open dance floor, food, drinks, and music, that’s all.  Unlike the music at my birthday party, this music was actually good.  I was shocked to hear the DJ play Moral Threat, yet alone Cryptochild, Klavier, and Hypodermic.

The party at the cultural center ended at about nine.  The party didn’t end because we wanted it to end, they kicked us out so they could clean up and get the place ready for a wedding in the morning.  Wanda had the idea of going to see/bother Sparra at work.  So, the six of us, Jay, Matthew, Aaron, Delany, Wanda, and I started walking over there.  We were about halfway there when Jay saw something in an alley we passed.  It was one kind of old looking opfer being attacked by a trio of young looking verbrechers.  The girls wanted to keep on going the way we were, but Aaron wanted to break up the situation.  The boys, me included, thought this was a good idea because we’re young and there was four of us and we stupidly think we’re invincible.

The four of us fine opfers boys were walking down the alley, just about to get to the verbrecher trio, when the lights on one of the cars in the alley started flashing.  These weren’t the flashing lights you see from a car alarm going off, these were the red and blue lights of a cop car.  A cop car that had been sitting there the entire time the opfer was being attacked.

The cop came out of the car with his gun drawn and ordered the four of us to stop and put our hands in the air.  We did.  When he got to us, the officer shoved us against the wall and ordered us not to move.  We didn’t.  The officer then called for backup against what he called “an unruly violent street gang.”  The backup the police officer called for showed up remarkably quickly, just in time to see the three verbrecher men run away from the scene.  None of the police officers at the scene made any effort to go after the verbrecher men.  Instead, they spent about half an hour harassing Delany and Wanda while they roughed up the rest of us, including the victim.  Eventually they cuffed all seven of us, including the women who weren’t involved and the bleeding victim, shoved us in squad cars, and took us to the police station.

Once we got to the station house, we were put in holding.  We weren’t told what we were being arrested for or what we were waiting for, we were just shoved in there.  They placed us in two separate holding cells.  Matthew, Aaron, and Jay were placed in one cell, while Delany, Wanda, the victim, and I were placed in the other.  I don’t know why they did this, but I don’t understand a lot of what happened.  I just know that what happened is really fucked up.

Delany spent the whole time in that holding cell crying on my shoulder.  I don’t mean that figuratively.  We sat together on the bench/bed/cold metal slab in that concrete echochamber not knowing when or if we were going to be released.  I don’t blame Delany for crying.  I would have cried as well, had I not been concerned for the health of the victim sitting in the corner, motionless, with blood still dripping from his wounds.  I would have consoled Delany more had I not been handcuffed the whole time.

I don’t know how long we were in holding.  I’ve tried figuring it out.  As near as I can tell, the seven of us were in holding for about eight hours.  Just long enough for a good night’s rest, if we could somehow get to sleep.  At about five A.M. the guard came by, uncuffed us, and let us out.  As I walked along down the hall, tired and hazy as shit, I heard names being called out.  First Aaron, then Jay, Wanda, Delany, and Matthew.  All these names were called out by the person there to pick them up.  The only person who arrived at the police station to pick someone up who didn’t call out a name was my Dad.  When I saw my Dad at the police station, he looked pissed.

The silence that I experienced while I was in holding made me angry.  The silence I experienced in the car with my Dad made me anxious.  I knew my Dad was angry, I could see that on his face.  I felt as if I was looking at a bomb who's countdown had reached zero but had not yet exploded.

"Dad, I-"

"Hato, the police told me what you did last night.  They told me you and your friends and some homeless guy was smashing things in an alley behind a liquor store."

"But Dad-"

"They said that you were drunk, and about to knock over the liquor store."

"Dad, let me-"

"I don't believe them."

I did not expect my Dad to say that.  "You don't?"

"No.  Not only is that not anything close to anything you've done, but my experience has taught me that a policeman's word isn't worth shit."  I did not expect my Dad to say that either.  Not only because he swore, which he only does when he's emphasizing a point, but because of his open cynicism.  I didn't know how to continue the conversation.  Luckily, my Dad did.  "Now, you are not to tell your mother you were in jail."

Suddenly, my joking nature came back to me.  "That was jail?"

"Yes, that was jail, and you were never there.  Also, you were not arrested.  If your Mom asks, you spent the night partying with your friends, you got me?"

"Yeah."  With the lie firmly in place, my Dad kept on driving home.  Just as we passed by the place where I was arrested, I looked down at my hands and noticed something about them.  "Dad, what if Mom notices that marks from the handcuffs I wore all night?"

Dad looked at my hands then thought for a moment.  "Just tell her your and Delany were getting kinky.  She'll understand."

I don't want to think about why my Mom would understand.  I haven't run into her yet and I'm not really looking forward to it.  Then again, any crap I get from her will be far easier to deal with than the cops.  I think.

Later.

Hato Shurtleff

Virtual Livestrong Complainers

Complain Effect 4 Hinted At

BioWare has hinted at a new game in the Complain Effect franchise, plus provided a name for Complain Effect 3’s next single player downloadable content. The news comes in the wake of the announcement that BioWare co-founders Ray Muzyka and Greg Zeschuck have retired from the company. In a blog post from BioWare Edmonton and Montreal general manager Aaryn Flynn, Complain Effect is mentioned as part of the company’s plans looking forward.

“Executive Producer Casey Hudson and his team are coming off an amazing eight-year run with the Complain Effect trilogy. But they’re not done yet,” Flynn wrote. “We are releasing more multiplayer content and we have more single-player stories coming throughout the next six months, including New Thing To Bitch About, which is coming in the Fall. But the Complain Effect universe is vast, and Casey and our teams have plans for another full game. ‘Where to go next?’ with such a project has been a question a lot of us have been asking, and we’d all love to hear your ideas.”

In talking about the future, Flynn also hinted at a new fictional universe in development at BioWare, mentioning alongside it that “Casey continues to oversee the development of our new Complain Effect project.”

BioWare has said in the past that the Complain Effect franchise could continue but that it won’t revolve around Shepard. The company also hinted that Complain Effect 3 players should keep their save files. As for New Thing To Bitch About, this marks the first time that BioWare has released a name for the content, which it teased during Montreal Comic-Con last weekend.

For now, no additional information about a new Complain Effect project has been revealed, but check out five ideas for a new Complain Effect game for where we think the series should go next, and why no more Shepard could be a good thing.

I swear, this song does not contain audio captured during a Mitt Romney fundraiser.  Scout's honor.

Patents Livestrong

On Wednesday, GamesRadar reported on a patent filed by Microsoft for what is believed to be a new kind of controller device.  Microsoft has been very mute about this patent, as they are with most of the patents that they file.  However, this muteness may be due to plans for the product that, in the light of recent development, have become disadvantageous.

In the patent filing, the product appears to be an armband with sensors that track the movements of the wearer.  This product also appears to be similar to the popular Livestrong bracelets.

The Livestrong bracelets are a very popular wrist-based accessory that serves as a fundraiser for the Lance Armstrong Foundation.  To this point these Livestrong bracelets have raised over eighty million dollars for cancer research.  The face of the Lance Armstrong Foundation and the Livestrong wrist-based accessory is Lance Armstrong.

Controversy has swirled around Lance Armstrong since he won his first Tour de France race.  Last month, Mr. Armstrong gave up his fight against the USADA.  As a result, Lance's Tour de France victories have been stripped away from him.  This action is what has caused Microsoft to be so mute about their armband controller. 

This Microsoft armband controller was set to be a Microsoft Livestrong branded armband controller.  The Microsoft Livestrong armband controller was supposed to serve as a way to raise money for cancer research, as well as show Microsoft and the video gaming public in a more positive light.  However, with Lance Armstrong's recent admission, these plans are not seen in the same way anymore by the head brass at Microsoft.  Microsoft no longer sees associating itself or it's product with Mr. Armstrong as, quoting a Microsoft source, "as an advantageous thing for our company's image."

Currently there are no plans to bring Microsoft's armband controller to the market.  According to my exclusive source, "(Microsoft) is waiting either untill Lance Armstrong's public image is rehabilitated, or untill there comes another celebrity that they can exploit."

Virtual Hockey Tonight!

With the recent lockout of the players by the owners of the National Hockey League, people with business interests in the sport have been making plans for a future without hockey.  One these entities making plans has, not only to deal with lost revenue, but what to do with the airtime vacated by the sport.  This week, unique plans were made to fill that airtime.

This week the NBC Sports Network, the cable outlet formerly known as Versus which has served as the TV home of the NHL since the last lockout, finalized plans to continue to air NHL games.  However, these games will not be the traditional hockey games they have run in the past.  NBC Sports Network is going forward with plans to air virtual games simulated with Electronic Art's latest hockey game, NHL '13.

Plans are to air simulated games on Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday nights, as well as provide highlights of games that are not being televised on a new NBC Sports Network show, to be titled "Virtual Hockey Tonight".  NBC Sports Channel President Jon D. Litner said, in a statement:

"We are as disappointed with anyone with the current NHL labor situation.  While we wish the owners and players would resolve their dispute in an expeditious manner, we at NBC Sports need to put contingencies in place in case this dispute causes the cancellation of the 2012-2013 NHL season.  The partnership that we have entered into with Electronic Arts is a first step in making those contingencies."

When reached for comment about this development, NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman said, "Wait, people can go to other places to get hockey?  FUCK!"

Virtual Hockey Tonight is tentatively scheduled to debut on October 13th, the day that the NHL 2012-2013 season was set to debut.  If the NHL labor dispute is resolved by that date, plans involving virtually simulated content will be put on hold untill the next NHL lockout, which is expected to take place in 2014.

Volume 11: Part 1- Moenia Prima: Friday, June 10th, 4:15 P.M.

Friday, June 10^th, 4:15 P.M.

I just graduated from High School.  I didn’t think I was going to be excited today, but I totally was.  I don’t know why that is though.  Maybe the excitement of my Mom and Dad rubbed off on me.  My Mom was so proud and happy and excited and grateful and loving and other positive emotions that I don’t know how to describe.  I can’t exactly say how my Dad was feeling because he was taking a ton of pictures.  My Dad’s camera holds something like nine hundred photos, I swear it’s full.

My friends and I are going out to celebrate.  Sparra can’t come because he’s got work in the morning, and Mom is forcing me to take my cousin Jay with us.  I had no idea my cousin went to the same school as I did, nor that his name was Jay.  Should be a fun night.

Later.

Hato Shurtleff

Volume 11: Part 1- Moenia Prima: Friday, May 13th, 5:08 P.M.

Friday, May 13^th, 5:08 P.M.

Today, my friends and I went to grab something to eat after school.  My parents were okay with it because it’s not a school night and I didn’t tell them I was doing it beforehand.  We went to the “authentic” opfer dining restaurant that just opened up by the cultural center.  We figured we’d better go there before another verbrecher gang smashes and torches the place again.

Sparra couldn’t go with us because he was working.  It was just me, Delany, Wanda, Delany’s boyfriend Matthew, and Wanda’s boyfriend Aaron.  I wasn’t a third wheel in this situation, I was a fifth wheel.

My Hipster is a great tool to distract me from awkward situations like this.  While Delany and Matthew were being cute and playful with each other, and Wanda and Aaron feeling each other up over their clothes, I was shooting cartoon animals at other cartoon animals.  The explosions emitted from my Hipster took my mind away from Delany being all lovey-dovey with a guy who’s not me.  Really.

Just as the food we ordered was being served to us, a chime came from my Hipster.  My Mom had sent me the following email.

            Hato,

You just received a message from Cheryl at DFPS.  She was calling to tell you that you hadn’t gotten the job.  Sorry.  Also, when are you coming home?

Mom

            So not only am I a fifth wheel and still unemployed, but now my Mom is starting to harp on me.  Oh joy.

            Ugh.

Hato Shurtleff

Can I Dance To This? (YES YOU CAN!!!)

Can I Play It? 

 

Recently I've been playing Dragon Age Origins and have found that game to be a pleasantly enjoyable experience.  I played through the campaign included in the initial release and all of the DLC that was released for Dragon Age Origins.  Since I enjoyed this game, I wanted to play it's sequel, Dragon Age 2.

I found three different versions of Dragon Age 2 for sale on Amazon: 360, PS3 and PC.  Among them, the PC was the cheapest, so I was interested in buying that version.  However, before I actually bought the game, a question came up that often comes up when I consider purchasing a PC game.  Can I run this on my laptop?

This is not a question that I have to deal with when purchasing a Xbox 360 or Playstation 3 game.  I can just go to the store buy a game for 360 or PS3, put it in, and play it no questions asked.  This is not something I can do with a PC game.  I always question whether or not my laptop can play any piece of software that I buy.  This is why I am not really a PC gamer.

Due to my active pursuit of buying a house, I have become more conscious of what things cost.  If I can save a dollar or a couple of cents, I do it.  The PC version of Dragon Age 2 was about two dollars cheaper than the PS3 version of the game.  However, if I buy a game on PC that I cannot play, it's like throwing money down the drain.  As I was looking that the retail listing for Dragon Age 2, I was wishing that there was one button I could push on the retail page that would do a check to see if I could run the software I wanted to buy before I actually bought it.

Like many other times in my life, I voiced this frustration on the internet bitch forum, otherwise known as Twitter.  Unlike most times when I complain about things and no one responds, someone had an answer for my problem.

TigerClaw, pictured above, turned me on to a website called Can You Run It.  This is a website that help you to know if you can run a piece of software on your laptop.  You just choose which software you want to know if you can run, press one button, and, after a quick check of your hardware, it tells you if you can or cannot run the software and why or why not.

So I used Can You Run It to see if I could run Dragon Age 2, and as it turns out I can't.  Yes, I cannot run the game I wanted to buy on my laptop.  While this knowledge is slightly depressing, at least now I know.  I know for a certainty whether or not I can run Dragon Age 2 on my laptop, which I can't.  With one question answered, that leaves me with another.

 

Why isn't this included in Steam or Origin?  Why can't I do a simple one button check of my hardware on Steam or Origin like I can on Can I Run It to see if I can run a video game I want to buy?  PC games would become a more enticing option to me if there was a simple way to see if I can run the game or not, and what is more simpler than a one button check on the retail page for the game?  This seems, at least to me, to be a basic, simple, consumer friendly thing to do.

Again, thanks to TigerClaw for turning me on to Can You Run It.  Now I know just how much my laptop sucks.

Red Review: Amanda Palmer- Theater Is Evil

I'm listening to the new Amanda Palmer album, Theater Is Evil, as I type this.  I want to stop typing this and resume dancing.  Not kidding.  Earlier today I got a snocone for free, and as I was walking through a parking lot, listening to the delicate piano work and peppy guitar riffs on this CD, I started to

Hold on, a piano solo just kicked in.  Bliss.

Anyway, as I was walking nearer to my car, I started dancing.  Granted, it was just jumping up and down to the beat, but it was dancing to me.  Danc

Piano solo.  Aaah.

Anyway, I was dancing so loose and free in the way that I wanted.  No one was directing me to.  In fact, I'm pretty sure some guy

The hook to Massachusetts Avenue just kicked in.  I don't know what that instrument is, but it is so damn cool.

Anyway, some guy gave me a dirty look because I was jumping around like an insane person, but I don't care.  I don't care what other people thought of me, I was througlly enjoying myself, just as I am now typing up this review.  In fact, I want to stop typ

The hook just kicked in again.

Anyway, I want to stop typing and go back to being awash in the bliss that Theatre Is Evil is providing me.

Amanda Palmer- Theatre Is Evil: A+

Volume 11: Part 1- Moenia Prima: Monday, May 9th, 8:04 P.M.

Monday, May 9^th, 8:04 P.M.

Today was my interview for a mail processor position with the Dolore Federal Postal Service, and this interview actually went well.  I’m shocked.  Legitimately.  Let me tell you about it.

First of all, the appointment for the interview was at 3:45, which meant I didn’t have to ditch school in order to show up.  This is great because I value my education and their flexibility on appointment times shows a level of consideration on DFPS’s part.  I write that in case my parents are reading this.

When I arrived at the DFPS’s offices for my interview, I checked in and took a seat in the lobby.  As I looked around the lobby, seeing the other nervously patient people in their best rarely worn business attire, I noticed a pretty even mix of opfers and verbrechers.  I don’t know if they were just appeasing come racial equity mandate of if this was a genuine, good hearted gesture, but I found this situation to be uplifting to me.

After waiting for about forty-five minutes, I was called back for my interview.  Rather than the one interviewer setup I got at Warrior Technological, I was interviewed by five people.  Five people, three verbrechers and two opfer, who greeted me warmly with firm handshakes and bright smiles.  After the treatment I got at my last interview, I also found this to be uplifting to me.

The actual interview went smoothly.  We went over my resume, my hobbies and interests, and my hopes for the future.  I was told that if I did get hired on at DFPS and got into college, that they’d be open to being flexible with my schedule and help with tuition.  Being told this was a lot better than being told I was a filthy sub-human unworthy of life.

When the interview was finished, the interviewers all shook my hand and wished me well.  On my way out, I asked one of them about my chances of being hired.  “Well, we’ve got a lot of applicants for the few number of positions we have to fill.  However, Mister Shurtleff, you have made quite a good impression on us today.”  Uh-oh.

Okay, so not everything went my way today, but a lot of things did!  This interview was certainly better than sitting in a waiting room at Barrett, Copeland, & Reno, and WAY better than the fire hose of bigotry and racism I got hit with at Warrior Technological.  Who knows, I might actually become an employee of the Dolore Federal Postal Service!

Smiling as I wish you goodnight.

Hato Shurtleff

Volume 11: Part 1- Moenia Prima: Friday, May 6th, 11:14 P.M.

Friday, May 6^th, 11:14 P.M.

Mom made tacos tonight for dinner.  Dad had gotten off work early, so he was able to swing by the market for some fresh tomatoes and lettuce that made the meal taste better.  At about 3:45, a phone call came in that changed the tone of the evening.  Mom served dinner at about six.  Dad, Sakoshi, and I gathered and started crafting our meals.  After we said the prayer we usually say over dinner and began digging in, Mom, like she always does, struck up a conversation.

“Hato.”

I replied, “Yes, Mom,” or at least I tried to say that with a mouth full of taco meat.

“I got a call from the school today.”

Sakoshi energetically said, “Really!  Was it about me?”

Mom, with a smile reserved for only the cutest of young children, said, “No, it was from Hato’s school.”

Sakoshi, continuing with his high energy, gleefully said to Mom, “They could have been calling about me.  I’m smart.  I got a hundred on my math test today.”  Sakoshi is so cute.  It’s going to be sad when the public school system crushes his soul.

Dad put a stop to this cute display and cut right to the chase.  “Belle, what did the school call about?”

Mom took off her smile and said, “Hato missed school today.”

Dad, with a scowl reserved for only older children, said, “Is this true?”

When I skipped school for my interview at Barrett, Copeland, and Reno, I made an effort to lie about it.  I made no such effort this time.  “Yes.”

Dad continued confrontationally, “Why?”

“I had a job interview with Warrior Technological.”

The scowl lifted from Dad’s face.  “Oh.  Well, that’s a reason to skip school.  Not a good reason, but a reason.”

Mom, now beaming with optimism, tried to continue the conversation.  “So, how did the interview go?”

I didn’t respond to my Mom’s question.  I just looked down at my plate and started fiddling with my food.  Dad pressed on.  “Hato, how did the interview go?”  I didn’t want to deal with this, I still don’t want to deal with this.  I got up from the table, left the kitchen, and went down to hall to my room.  I was there for about a minute before there was a knock at the door.

“Hato, honey, are you okay?”  I wanted to snap back with a no, but it was my Mom so I didn’t.  My Mom opened my bedroom door just enough to allow her to poke her head in.  “Do you want to talk about it?”

I told my Mom about the interview, every despicable detail of it.  It was difficult for me to do this, mostly because I rarely use that kind of language around my parents.  As I told her this story, my Mom just sat with a very concerned look on her face, allowing me to vent my story unobstructed.  Only when I was done did Mom give her thoughts.

“Hato, I’m so sorry that happened to you.  You’re right to be offended.  What that guy did to you is wrong, and the fact that he did it speaks poorly of his company.  That being said, you can’t let this get you down.  You just can’t.  Your father, when he was younger and looking for work, received a lot worst insults than what you described.

I was shocked by what my Mom had just said.  “There are worst insults?”

“Yes, there are, and I pray you never find out what those insults are.  My point, Hato, is that your father didn’t let those insults get him down.  If he had, he wouldn’t be the person he is today.  You shouldn’t let those insults get you down either.  You need to keep your chin up and keep moving forward, because things will get better.”

What my Mom said made me feel better, as well as the kiss she laid on my head before she left my room.  I can’t allow the insults people throw at me to get me down.  I can’t.  If I do, the racist win.  I’m going to try to keep my head up as I go to my interview on Monday.  Perhaps that one will finally go well.

Goodnight.

Hato Shurtleff

Reviewing Greenlight

Steam Greenlight- Face Of Mankind

 

This is Face Of Mankind, an MMO currently on Steam's Greenlight program.  There are some talented people who put this game together.  I know one of them, CJ Allford.  I want to help CJ, and the people he's working with, get this game on Steam.  So, please, just help by giving it a rating.  Thank you.

Face Of Mankind: Steam Greenlight Page

Red Review: The New Normal: Pilot

Recently KSL television, a NBC affiliate, released a statement saying that they were not going to air the upcoming new television series The New Normal.  Jeff Simpson, the CEO of Bonneville International, said that the show's "dialogue might be excessively rude and crude. The scenes may be too explicit or the characterizations might seem offensive... For our brand, this program feels inappropriate on several dimensions, especially during family viewing time."  This statement caused me to want to seek out The New Normal.  There are two reasons for this.

The first is the use of the word "might" in the statement released by Jeff Simpson.  This suggests to me that the people in charge at KSL did not watch an episode of The New Normal.  This suggests to me that the people in charge at KSL based their decision on just the basic synopsis of the show, which is:

"Bryan and David are a happy Los Angeles couple, with successful respective careers. The only thing missing in their relationship is a baby. They meet Goldie, a single Midwestern mother and waitress, who has moved to L.A. with her eight-year-old daughter Shania. Jane, Goldie's grandmother, follows her family to the city against her grandaughter's wishes. Goldie decides to become Bryan and David's surrogate, which includes her family."

Source: Wikipedia

KSL is the NBC affiliate that serves the Salt Lake City Area, which is where I live.  KSL is owned by Bonneville International.  Bonneville International is a subsidiary of The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints.  To me, in my life and my social interactional experiences, the LDS Church represents The Man, and I refuse to submit to The Man.

These two reasons drove me to want to watch The New Normal, every episode, as soon as I could, even if it sucked.  This is the same approach I took to another TV series KSL chose not to air, The Playboy Club.  It was my hope that this experience with raging out against the man would not be so torturous.

Soon after KSL made their decision, I heard that the pilot episode of The New Normal was available on Hulu.  So, I watched The New Normal on Hulu.  Unlike many other shows I watch on Hulu, I chose to watch The New Normal while sober.

The pilot episodes of most shows are supposed to set up the characters in a TV series, the situation that they are in, and any possible conflicts that may immediately arise.  The pilot episode of The New Normal does that in a way that is inviting and somewhat entertaining.  Not much depth is given to the two male leads, played by Andrew Rannells and Justin Bartha, but I have faith that such depth will be added in the future.  A lot of time is given to the lead female of the series, played by Georgia King, and her daughter, played by Bebe Wood.  This establishes a mother/daughter bond between the two, a dynamic that I comes across as warm and genuinely sweet.  There is one quibble I have with the pilot episode.

Ellen Barkin plays Jane Forrest, the grandmother of Goldie, the female lead.  Jane Forrest's role in the series seems to be the antagonist.  In the pilot episode, Jane gets into an argument with nearly every major character, save eight year old Shania.  The character of Jane Forrest comes across as a shrill obnoxious bigot.  Jane Forrest is also seen with short blonde hair, a pantsuit, and a face that screams plastic surgery.

This is Jan Brewer, current governor of Arizona.  In liberal circles, she comes across as a shrill obnoxious bigot.  Look at what she how she appears in the picture provided above.

Now look at these two side by side.  Jane Forrest is essentially Jan Brewer.  If I am going to continue to see the character of Jane Forrest as intriguing, she needs to have some redeeming qualities.  If Jane Forrest is a photocopy of Jan Brewer, that may not be possible.

Overall, The New Normal appears to be an intriguing show for the new fall.  I'm looking forward to more episodes of this show when it premiers, not on KSL, on September 11th.

The New Normal: Pilot: Recommended

By the way, it seems odd to me that a show is premiering on September 11th.  Given the great national tragedy that happened on that day, I expected that day to be filled with remembrances, tributes, and faux patriotic messages from the conservative right.  Maybe that's just me.  Maybe that they cynic in me.  Maybe I don't exactly have an ending for this thought.  Hey look, a kitty.

Volume 11: Part 1- Moenia Prima: Friday, May 6th, 12:08 P.M.

Friday, May 6^th, 12:08 P.M.

            I ditched school again for another interview, but this time my efforts weren’t a complete waste.  I actually met with an interviewer at Warrior Technological today.  I checked in with the receptionist at 9:45, sat and waited, then got called into the interviewer’s office at 10:15.  That is when it all turned to shit.

            The interviewer opened the door to his office to me and told me to take a seat, which I did.  The interviewer picked up my resume off his desk and read it for some time.  Finally, he said to me, “Hay-to.”

            I responded, “Actually, it’s pronounced Ha-to.”

            “Ha-to?”

“Yes.”

The interviewer then mumbled dismissively and went back to reading my resume.  After some time, the interviewer said, “Hato.  Is that short for something?”

“Excuse me?”

I’d like to say what followed was unexpected.  I really would.  “You heard me, you opfer prick.  Is Hato short for anything?”  Did I mention the interviewer was verbrecher?  Although I was mentally preparing myself for a hard interview upon seeing him, the language the interviewer used toward me knocked me back a bit.  I expected a person in his position to at least not openly express his racism.

I took a moment to catch my breath and say, “No, Hato is my real name.”

“Is Hato one of those perverse nicknames you young fretons call each other?”  That shocked me, and I physically expressed my shock.  It had been years, YEARS, since someone had called me a freton.  At that moment, I knew the kind of vile, venomous hatred this interviewer was harboring against me.

I cleared the shock from my face and tried to press forward.  “Hato Shurtleff is my full legal name.  I can even show you my school ID if you want.”

“No.  I don’t need to see one of your half-assed freton forge jobs.”  I don’t understand this comment.  Not the freton part, the part where he accused me of forgery.

The interview didn’t get much better from that.  We went over my academic history, where he implied that I cheat everyday in school, my job history, where he implied that I was lazy and useless, and my qualifications, which he blatantly called bullshit.  By the time this whole process was finished, this interviewer had hurled a wider variety and higher amount of insults at me than I’ve ever encountered in my life.  This is the worst experience with a verbrecher I’ve ever had.

After I left the Warrior Technological offices, I felt was emotionally raw.  I still am.  I had meant to go back to school after my interview but I don’t feel like doing that now.  I feel like using my osher skills to scamper to the roof of a building, lying flat on my back and staring at the sky for a while.  I probably won’t do that.  I’d probably get caught by some security guard, and if the guard happens to be verbrecher, he’d shoot me and call it self-defense.  Oh well.

Later.

Hato Shurtleff

Volume 11: Part 1- Moenia Prima: Tuesday, May 3rd, 5:18 P.M.

Tuesday, May 3^rd, 5:18 P.M.

            Today was my interview for the position of office assistant at Barrett, Copeland, and Reno.  Based on the race question I encountered on the application, I was sure this was going to go badly.  Well guess what?  It went badly!  I’m as shocked as you are.

            I ditched school to go to my ten A.M. appointment at BC&R.  I would have asked for a later appointment but this allowed me to ditch school for a legitimate reason, which is a good thing.  My parents would disagree, but they tend to disagree with me on a lot of things.  I got to the BC&R offices at 9:45, checked in, and was told to sit in the waiting area untill my name was called.  So I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Occasionally I checked in to make sure the receptionist hadn’t forgotten but mostly I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

For several hours I waited for my interview at Barrett, Copeland, and Reno to call my name.  As I sat patiently in the waiting room, I saw several applicants enter, check in, get called to be interviewed, then leave with either a happy, sad, or indifferent look on their face.  And I continued to wait.

And wait.

And wait.

As I waited I noticed something.  All of the applicants that came in and were seen were verbrecher.  In fact, outside of a delivery guy that came in at about one, I was the only opfer that entered the waiting room at Barrett, Copeland, and Reno that day.  Weird.

At about 4:30 the office started clearing out.  No one told me that everyone was going home for the day untill the receptionist came over and asked me what I was doing.  This was the same receptionist I saw at 9:45, had checked in with about every hour or so, acting as if she had never seen me before.  I ditched school for this?

I’m walking home right now with a feeling of dejection in my mind and a completely empty feeling in my stomach.  This is bullshit.  Fucking bullshit.

Goodnight.

Hato Shurtleff

Get Money, Get Apologies, Get A TV Show, Get Old, Get Handsome

Get Money, Get Paid

So, I've been trying to get into a new crib for about eight months now.  I want to get into a new place so that I can craft the ultimate bachelor pad that will attract the honies like a homing beacon.  I've been getting my credit in order, putting money away, and selling my books so that I could start stacking that paper.  Once I do get that sweet sweet crib, I need to know how to put it together so that vagina panties will be hitting the floor.  That is why I am thankful for instructional videos like the one provided by MrChiCity3.  MrChiCity3, you da man, fo real.

Red Apologizes

I want to send my apologies to DerrickH and Loserly for calling into DPL700 then bailing, then calling in again only to bail again.  Unlike most occasions where I am taken away from the show, this was not due to my DSFUCKINGL being an impotent piece of shit.  Let me explain...

The first time I left was because a bounty hunter came pounding on my door.  He's looking for my sister's boyfriend which he thinks is me based on my sister and I sharing the same last name and looking nothing alike.  He came pounding on my door, I hung up to deal with his ass.  Again.  Hopefully, he'll get the message this time.

I had scheduled an appointment to meet with a life insurance agent to set up a policy.  This was the second person to come knocking on my door.  It's not that I had forgotten about the appointment, it's that I lost track of time.  I would have told the agent to come back another time, but the agent, Sharlene, was a woman who looked approximately like the person pictured above.  I thoroughly enjoyed talking to this woman.

A funny thing happened during the presentation the agent gave to me.  During a video she played about death expenses and how life insurance can pay for them, the announcer said something about grief.  He said, "Grief is hard."  I had to stifle my laughter when I heard that.

So, there's my reasons for my actions during DPL700.  These are not excuses, these are reasons.  Again, apologies to DerrickH and Loserly.  Hopefully the next time I call in my DSFUCKINGL will not fail and I will not fail.  Hopefully.

I Wholeheartedly Support This

I Am A Male Model

With the nomination of Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan to be the Republican nominee for President and Vice President this week, a lot of questions have come up about this duo's background.  One of the most frequently asked questions is where did those two get those chiseled good looks and obvious poise.  These attributes are not inborn, they have to be taught to you.  So, where did Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan gain the expertise that made them such an attractive tandem?  The answer is that they went to the Handsome Boy Modeling School.

Founded by Prince Paul and Dan the Automator in 1999, Handsome Boy Modeling School is the only school in North America dedicated to the crafting of exquisite young male models.  For only $60, payable by check, you can learn the skills necessary to become the kind of man that is actively sought by the leading Balkan region fashion designers.

Graduates of the Handsome Boy Modeling School include such dynamic specimens of masculinity as Del Tha Funkee Homosapien, Tim Meadows, Mike Shinoda, RZA, Jack Johnson, and Father Guido Sarducci. 

Handsome Boy Modeling School: Not affiliated with Chris Elliot or Gingers.