Choppy Satire

Solicitation For Identification Assistance

I am looking some help in identifying a commercial that ran on USA Network.  The commercial in question ran on Monday, July 30th, at approximately 12:36 A.M., during an episode of Political Animals, episode title "The Woman Problem".  The commercial in question features Bay Buchanan, Senior Advisor at Romney For America, and the video appears to be taken from an appearance she made on CNN's "The Situation Room".  The audio in this commercial is completely distorted, none of the words that are being said are audible, all that is heard in this commercial is choppy static.  I am unable to idenfity on what date the video is taken from, but the graphic that appears directly beneath Bay Buchanan reads "ROMNEY AD: OBAMA "DOESN'T TELL THE TRUTH".

This is a commercial I've seen several times before.  However, I seem to be unable to find any information about it.  I've dug around online and cannot even find any chatter about it.

Can you help me in identifying who is responsible for this commercial, or point me in the direction of somebody who can?  Any help in this matter will be appreciated.

Harry O'Keefe

Recently, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid made some accusations about Mitt Romney's taxes.  These accusations have resulted in Sen. Reid receiving a lot of criticism from press, pundits, fellow politicians, and random people on Twitter.

These accusations center on an anonymous claim by a Bain Capital investor that Mitt Romney had not paid any taxes for a ten year period.  These accusations were made in a phone call to Sen. Reid's congressional office.

Most of the pundits criticizing Sen. Reid have focused on the absurd nature of these allegations, as well as the anonymity of the source of the allegations.  While I too have problems with these allegations, my problems do not lie directly with Senator Reid.  They lie with the caller.  Does anyone remember Jimmy O'Keefe?

Jimmy O'Keefe is a self described journalist, antagonist, and real life satirist.  On multiple occasions, Jimmy O'Keefe has released videos that have shown Democratic politicians, and other liberal activists, in a negative light.  These videos were procured using methods that many call underhanded, unfair, and criminal.

The last time I remember hearing of Mr. O'Keefe was when he tried to film unflattering videos at the Occupy Wall Street protests that occurred last year.  What has Jimmy O'Keefe been doing since then?  Who else has he inspired?  What other self styles satirists exist out there that would use tactics similar to Jimmy O'Keefe's?

Harry Reid's accusations don't pass the smell test to me.  This is not because I don't believe the substance of them, although I must admit the substance of them seem completely absurd to me.  The source of the accusations are suspect to me.  It is my honest belief that someone could call up Senator Reid's Congressional Office, pass themselves off as a Bain Capital investor, and tell the Senator's office things that they then would tell the media about.  Harry Reid wouldn't be the first sitting politician to be pranked like this.

Unless the person making these accusations comes forward with substantive proof that what he is saying is true, I am forced to conclude that these accusations are false.  Of course, all of these allegations could be easily cleared up if Mitt Romney would release his tax forms to the press.  Those forms could prove these allegations to be entirely ales and serve as a major embarrassment to Senator Reed and the Democratic Party.

Volume 11: Part 1- Moenia Prima: Introduction

Part 1

Moenia Prima

Introduction

            Settled by fur trappers in the year 1844, the city of Moenia Prima served as a resting point for travels making their way between Dha Chathair and Trebyer.  Later on, Moenia Prima served as a haven for people who wanted to escape the increasing influence of religion that came as a result of Dha Chathair’s population explosion in 1863.

            Moenia Prima experienced a population boom when a facility that manufactured products for the Dolorian military was built in 1980.  With the population boom came a diversification of the city’s residents.  This resulted in an increase in the opfer population in Moenia Prima, going from 11% of the total population in 1975 to 37% in 1984, with verbrechers making up the other 63%.

            Like many other locations in Dolore, the increase of opfers in Moenia Prima correlated with an increase in crime.  Many media figures in Moenia Prima, as well as several politicians, blamed the increase in crime on the opfers.  This is despite much of the increase being driven by a sharp and sustained increase in crimes being committed by young verbrechers.

            The scapegoating of opfers lead to an increase in tensions between the majority verbrechers and the minority opfers.  The tensions resulted in the Isotopia Riots in 1993.  Despite the riots going on for four days and resulting in nearly thirty-five million Valore in damages, no substantial progress was made in quelling these tensions.

            Before the situation currently going on in Dolore flared up, the last Dolorian census, conducted in 2010, estimated the population of Moenia Prima to be 83,112.

Vince Fielding, reporter VBNS

Volume 11: Prologue

Volume 11

by Hunter Red
©2012 Hunter Red

This work was started on August 10, 2010, and was finished on May 16, 2012.

No portion of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without permission from the copyright holder.  Sorry, no straight up free ways to get the book in its complete entirety.  You can either pay the small price for the physical copy, the even smaller price for the digital copy, or wait for the serialized version to slowly come out.

There are various ways that this work will be distributed, both through traditional means and untraditional.  It’s not that the writer dislikes the traditional distribution method, it just hasn’t worked for him yet.  If you think it can work for yourself, more power to you.  If you think it can work for the writer, contact him.

Prologue

            The story of the situation currently going on in Dolore has been trickling out for weeks now.  Most of the stories rely on footage smuggled out of that country and second hand accounts.  What follows is a firsthand account of one person’s experience of the situation going on in Dolore written as he was experiencing it.  It is not a complete account of the situation going on in Dolore, but it does provide an insight into the people involved in it.

            Volume 11 is a journal written by Hato Shurtleff with the Hipster Journal Program, both through typing entries out on the Hipster and by utilizing the voice recognition software on the Hipster. At the start of Volume 11, Hato is an eighteen year old high school senior living in Moenia Prima, Dolore.  At the start of each part there will be a short introduction written by myself, and there is an event that is not written from Hato’s perspective, but the vast majority of Volume 11 is written by Hato Shurtleff.  It is written by Hato Shurtleff, about Hato Shurtleff, involving things that happened to Hato Shurtleff.  Contained in this account is also what Hato thoughts are about the things that are going on.  The first entry in the account is dated Sunday, January 9^th, 2011.

            Let us begin.

Vince Fielding, reporter VBNS

Hunter And Robin And A Beer Keg

Character Bio

Hunter Red, pictured left, is a nominally successful satirist, writer, and potential lunch winner living in Salt Lake City, Utah.  Mr. Red is a recovering alcoholic, although his recovery has been less than successful since he has stopped going to his prescribed therapy sessions, and has begun drinking again.  Hunter is has a mostly negative viewpoint of the world, is distrustful of all humans, and thoroughly enjoys cheesecake.

Robin Anderson, pictured left, is Hunter Red's most recent ex-girlfriend.  Hunter's relationship with Robin was complicated by the fact that she is not real.  Robin is a product of an alcohol fueled hallucination.  This was a hallucination that Hunter like to experience, due to Miss Anderson being the only real serious girlfriend Mr. Red has ever had.  Robin is intelligent, strong willed, and has a razor sharp wit.

Hunter Red And Robin And A Beer Keg

Hunter Red pulls up to his condo in Ruby, his big fucking SUV.  He pulls into his garage backward and quickly closes the garage door.  Out of the back of Ruby, Hunter pulls out a beer keg.  Hunter places the beer keg in an open spot on the floor of his garage, then begins to speak as if someone is listening.  No one is currently present in the garage as Hunter begins to speak.

Hunter Red-  Yes, here now, the light of the party on college campuses across the nation, your standard beer keg.  Sure, kegs are illegal here in the state of Utah, but the fuck I care.  Alcohol laws are made by old, fat, white, bigots who only want to control the population and line their pockets with gold.  Also, they are fat.

Hunter Red walks over to the toolchest he keeps in his garage, digs around for a little bit, then finds what he was looking for, the tap for a beer keg.  Hunter walks over, taps the keg, hooks up the nozzle to it, then says-

Hunter Red-  Well, let's begin.

The camera pans over to a clock on the wall of Hunter's garage.  In typical television fashion, the hands on the clock start to move quickly untill three hours and seventeen minutes have gone by.  After the timeshift, the camera pans back over to Hunter.  Mr. Red is sitting on the floor of his garage, next to the beer keg, with the nozzle in his mouth.  It is clear from the visual cues that Hunter has been spending the past three hours and seventeen minutes drinking directly from the beer keg.  Hunter removes the nozzle from his mouth and says-

Hunter Red-  Yeah!  Take that polimaticians.  I just drank beer from a beer keg that was full of beer from a beer keg because it was a keg that had beer in it because it was a beer keg.  (Loud belch)  Ha ha ha!  YEAH!!!

The camera pans away from Hunter to a door in the garage leading into the house.  The door is open and the room is brightly lit.  Through the door the sound of a pair of high heels can be heard clacking on a hard wood floor, making their way closer and closer to the door, the sound of which echoes throughout the entire house.  A figure walks into the door frame, a beautiful figure wearing high heels silhouetted by the intense light coming from the other room.  The camera follows the legs of the person, particularly the heels, clacking with every step, as the figure walks through the door frame, across the garage, over to where Hunter is sitting.  Hunter looks up at the figure, bleary-eyed and obviously drunk.

Hunter Red-  Hi.  I haven't seen you in a while.  You look voluminnomnoninous.

The camera shot changes to reveal who it is that Hunter is talking to.  The figure is Robin Anderson.  Robin looks down at Hunter with disappointment in her eyes.

Robin Anderson-  So, let me get this straight: You drove all the way up to Evanston, risked getting caught and prosecuted, just so you could get a giant container of beer.

There is an unapologetic tone to Hunter's face when he says-

Hunter Red-  Yep.

Robin Anderson-  Did you save any for me.

Hunter holds up the nozzle connected to the beer keg and presses the button on it.  A small stream of mostly beer foam trickles out of the nozzle.

Hunter Red-  Nope.

Robin maintains her disappointed look as she sit down next to Hunter on the floor of the garage.

Robin Anderson-  You don't look good.

Hunter Red-  Did I ever?

Robin Anderson-  Yes, you did.  You looked quite good when I was with you.

Hunter Red-  Not nearly as good as you look.

Robin Anderson-  Well, that goes without saying.  How have you been?

Hunter Red-  How have you been?

Robin Anderson-  Are you imitating me?

Hunter Red-  No.

Robin Anderson-  Are you sure, because you know how I've been.

Hunter Red-  No I don't.

Robin Anderson-  I'm an alcohol fueled hallucination.

Hunter Red-  That doesn't answer my question.

Robin Anderson-  I feel good, or bad.  I'm not sure.  Not being real kind of makes you question how you feel about things.

Hunter Red-  What do you mean not being real?

Hunter puts his hand on Robin's thigh.

Hunter Red-  You sure do feel real.

Robin Anderson-  Of course I feel real, this is your hallucination.

Hunter Red-  Yeah, but even when I wasn't drunk and somehow remembering hallucinating you, you felt real.

Robin Anderson-  Of course you thought my body felt real.

Hunter Red-  No, I mean the connection we had.  The way you would talk with me, laugh with me, converse with me, criticize me, all of the parts of a fully functioning relationship, it felt real.

Robin Anderson-  But it wasn't.

Hunter Red-  Yeah.

A look of incredible sadness comes over the face of Hunter.  Robin looks at Hunter and says-

Robin Anderson-  Hunter, you need to move on.

Hunter Red-  No.

Robin Anderson-  Hunter, you need to move on.

Hunter Red-  No.

Robin Anderson-  Hunter, you need to-

Hunter Red-(Angrily)  I heard you, I just don't want to.

Robin Anderson-  Why not?

Hunter tries to stand up, but fails, falling hard on the concrete floor he was just sitting on.

Robin Anderson-  I think you need help.

Hunter tries to stand up again, with the same result as he had the first time.

Robin Anderson-  I think you need help.

Hunter tries to stand up again, this time falling forward, landing hard on his shoulder and laying on his back on the cold concrete floor.  Robin stands up, looks over Hunter with a kind of caring look in her eyes.

Robin Anderson-  Hunter, you need help.  Hunter, you need to move on.  You need to clean yourself up, for real this time.  You need to do this, because you can't just spend your life obsessing over things that never were.  You need to start dealing with things that actually are.  This world is a wonderful place, and while I am not in it, many other things and people are.  Hunter.  Hunter, can you hear me?

Hunter is laying on his back on the cold concrete floor asleep.  Robin eyes are again filled with disappointment.

Robin Anderson-  (Sigh)  I hope somewhere in his deep subconscious he heard me.

Robin Anderson walks across the garage floor, back through the door frame, and closes it behind her.

END SCENE

 

In our most desperate hours, we often grasp on to one another.  For strength.  For stability.  For someone.  Someone so that in our hour of desperation we do not face that desperation alone.

Volume 11 by Hunter Red.  Serialization starting Tuesday at Redertainment.com