How you can help with The First Annual Four Stars Gaming Awards

Dear Sir or Madam,

The time has come for the planning stages of the first annual Four Star Gaming Awards. The awards are set to be announced on December 31, 2008 on my blogs on All Games Community, 1UP, and of course The Four Stars Blog itself at Redertainment.com.

So why do I send out this message to you, because I am asking for your help. My vision for these awards is to not just reflect the viewpoints of myself, but those who read my blog and have viewpoints of their own. However, you viewpoints can not be reflected in the Four Star Gaming Awards if you do not participate in them.

So I ask you to look over the award categories and come up with what you think should win in one, or if you so inclined, all categories. Also, write a little blurb about why you think this thing should win an award. If your reason is compelling enough, you just might be a credited and quoted blurbist in this The First Annual Four Stars Gaming Awards. However, in order to be included, your viewpoints must be submitted to me, preferably by e-mail at Redertainment@live.com, by Saturday, December 13th. That way I can ensure that this award show goes off on time.

Categories for the Four Stars Gaming Awards include:
Xbox 360 Game of the Year
PS3 Game of the Year
Wii Game of the Year
Download Game of the Year
Overall Game of the Year
Console of the Year
Best Gaming Moment of the Year
Worst Gaming Moment of the Year
Non-Gaming Thing Most Deserving of an Award

Thank You For Your Time
Hunter Red

Tom Clancy's Xerox Copyer

One of the features in Tom Clancy's EndWar is the ability to control the action via voice control. Here now is a sample of people using the feature.

"Attack. Attack red unit. Alpha Squad 7, attack red unit. Why won't you attack? Wait, Alpha Squad 7, attack the brown people. That didn't work either. Why aren't you attacking? What do you mean "does not recognize voice input"? Oh fuck it.

"Wait, now they're doing something. Yes, they're advancing toward the enemy, and- What are they doing? Alpha Squad 7 is taking off their uniforms and- Oh you've gotta be kidding me. Why the fuck are they showing me this, and why the fuck is Alpha Squad 7 fucking the enemy. God damn it!

"Where the fuck did that lightening bolt come from? What do you mean "Holy Vengeance Activated"? You don't listen to me when I give orders clearly outlined in the manual, but you listen to me when I say random bullshit! Guess now I know what it's like to raise a teenager. Now the Archangel is here, there's the Four Horsemen, and an angel who looks a lot like Matt Damon.

"Wait, let me try something. Brothel "Transportation Commencing". Now I'm in a completely different place. The signs are in a foreign text, so I don't know where I am, but it looks like a tightly packed, highly populated city in Asia. Also, it appears Alpha Squad 7 has been replaced with a lone little boy. That's strange. Okay, now there's this guy tapping me on the shoulder, he must be my guide for this mission. He's an extremely tall white guy who looks rather creepy to be honest. "Follow man." Okay the guy is leading me into a shabbily put together building. Now I'm in a room bathed in red light with this guy. Why is my guide taking his clothes off?

"Okay, fuck this game. I'm turning off the game, turning off my TV, and now I'm going to vomit. That is fucking disgusting! Why would a game like that come out of the mind of a conservative like Tom Clancy? Guess I know the next game to be a lightening rod for anti-video game groups. Fuck. I need to purge that imagery from my mind. I'm going to a strip club."

So there you have it, sample dialog from someone using the voice control feature in Tom Clancy's EndWar, a game that promises to be the end of video games as we know it.

Red Apologies

Recently Sony decided to recall Little Big Planet after concerns were raised over possible objectionable lyrics. Sony's actions have caused me to issue an apology of my own.

When I was seven, I was playing in the backyard with my friends. We were throwing the football around and, because of my athletic incompetence, I threw the football over the fence. When I hopped the fence to retrieve it, I discovered that I had smashed my neighbor's prized lawn gnome.

Being the good little boy I was, I admitted to it right away. I spent the next month mowing lawns and pulling weeds so I could buy my neighbor a new gnome, which I did. This incident, as well as my effort to repent for it, caused me to get to know my neighbor and become friends with him and his family. This is how I learned he was an Evangelical.

At this time, out of an overabundance of caution, I would like to apologize to the entire Evangelical faith for smashing that lawn gnome. My actions were misguided, not malicious. While I know that I can never make amends to you all for my destructive act, I hope you can accept my apology. Please don't use me as fuel for your next general objectionable media burning.

Namco Bailout Emminent?

After multi-billion dollar bailouts of Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, AIG, among others, the US Treasury is contemplating an over five hundred billion dollar toward a company based outside the US. The Bush Administration is set to infuse 522.80 Billion dollars into video game developer Namco.

Namco's rise and fall is typical of other recent bailout firms. They started well, gobbling up a seemingly endless line of capital with all consequences seemingly ignoring them. A couple of huge capital packages and some fruitful investments later, they turned their momentum skyward. This is when the trouble started. Their confidence, bordering on arrogance, was increased exponentially when they evaded the "ghosts" of their past and continued to swallow capital whole, seemingly oblivious to the possibility of a crash. It all came down on Namco on October 10th when the consequences surrounded them, available capital was non-existent, and the Pac-Man purveyor found itself a part of the Nikkei largest single day point loss in twenty years.


At their meeting on October 11th, the finance ministers of the world's richest countries announced a coordinated effort to infuse troubled banks with capital to make up for losses in the housing market. The Bush Administration also announced plans to buy stock in foreign companies that do business in the US, and Namco is one of the first.


MSNBC analyst and host of Mad Money Jim Cramer said about this deal, "THE WORLD IS FALLING APART!!! PEOPLE ARE THROWING AROUND MONEY RECKLESSLY!!! NOBODY KNOWS ANYTHING ABOUT ANYTHING!!! GAHHHHHK!!!" Shortly after making these comments, Mr. Cramer was taken to the hospital after suffering a heart attack.


Disgraced former lawyer Jack Thompson said about this deal, "How can a good, wholesome leader like George W Bush sign off on infusing money into a Godless company like Namco. How can companies like this continue to exist in the face of- GAHHHHHK!!!" Shortly after making these comments, Mr. Thompson was taken to the mortuary after being shot in the face by an unidentified red-headed satirist. A recording of this heroic figure can be found here: Zap Attack! Episode 1

This deal is being strongly objected to by the Democratic Congress, which is why it's expected to go through easily. This is because while Nancy Pelosi has bigger balls than Harry Reid, they both are nothing compared to the set on Condoleezza Rice.