The Redertainment Diet!

Like many Americans, the employees of The Redertainment Corporation Of America struggle to maintain a healthy weight.  Our employees have tried many different solutions to this problem, all of them unsuccessful.  In recent month, however, we at The Redertainment Corporation Of America have finally found a solution.  This is a solution that is a godsend to many of our employees, particularly the fat ones.  Now we wish to share this solution with you.  The Redertainment Corporation Of America is proud to present The Redertainment Diet.

Many diets out there have restrictions on what you can and cannot eat.  It is this part of dieting that most people have a problem with.  With The Redertainment Diet you don't have to struggle with this.  With The Redertainment Diet, all your dietary choices are made for you in a way that surprisingly simple.  With The Redertainment Diet you eat nothing.  That's right, NOTHING.

Now, you may be asking "How can I explain why I am eating nothing?"  It's simple: Take up a political cause that is either impossible or has no chance of succeeding.  It's that simple.  When people ask you why you aren't eating, simply say "I am going on a hunger strike untill ______."  After giving that answer to people, no one will ever ask you again why you aren't eating.

Now, you may be asking "Does this really work?"  Yes, The Redertainment Diet does work.  Just ask these satisfied people.

"I'm Trestin Meacham, and I've lost twenty-five pounds while hunger striking for the nullification of gay marriage in Utah."

"I'm Eric Small, and I've lost fifteen pounds while hunger striking for the nationwide legalization of marijuana."

"I'm Mari Monzo, and I've lost thirty pounds while hunger striking for the Washington Redskins to change their name."

"I'm Jamie Kane, and I've lost fifty pounds hunger striking for President Obama to come out as a secretly gay married Kenyan socialist."

Don't you want to experience stunning results like this in your life?  The Redertainment Diet.  Try it today!

Sifting Through The Reports

Overnight several news outlets started reporting on the details of the execution of Jang Song-thaek, formerly a powerful military figure and uncle to North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un.  Both NBC News and Daily Mirror reported that Jang Song-thaek was "stripped naked, thrown into a cage, and eaten alive by a pack of ravenous dogs".  The reports of the execution are of a shocking nature, and are therefore open to scrutiny.

First, the NBC News report, as well as reports elsewhere, site two sources for the story.  One is a story in The Straits Times, a daily newspaper based out of Singapore.  The other is a story in Wen Wei Po, a daily newspaper based out of Hong Kong.  The Daily Mirror report does not specifically site either newspaper as it's source, but many of the details in their story match the ones reported by NBC News and The Straits Times.  While the report given in The Straits Times is in English, that story sites the Wen Wei Po story as it's source, saying that Wen Wei Po is "its official mouthpiece".  Given North Korea's history propaganda and false history, anything claiming to be an "official" source from North Korea is seen as suspect.  There's also the admission in the NBC News report that "The report could not be independently confirmed by NBC News on Friday."  Also, the US State Department has yet to release a statement on this report, although the State Department may be distracted by the currently deteriorating situation going on in South Sudan.

Untill such time as more information comes out about this story, either verifying or refuting the reports already out there, people should see the reports of the execution of Jang Song-thaek as suspect.  Although, given the secretive nature of North Korea, no verifiable reports may be coming.  That is, at least untill Dennis Rodman goes to visit Kim Jong-un again.  An exhibition basketball game between a North Korean team trained by Rodman and a team of former NBA players is scheduled for January 10th.

Then What?

This article on Gizmodo contains step by step instructions on how to install the newly released beta of SteamOS.  The instructions provided are fairly idiotproof, and, as a tech moron, I know things that are idiotproof.  In fact, I could have installed SteamOS this morning just to play around with it.  There are two reason why I haven't.

Reason one is that I don't have a spare computer laying around that I can play with.  Sure I could use the PC Laptops laptop that I still have, but, given it's state of disrepair, I kind of don't want to play with it right now.  Sure I could use the netbook that I have, but I only use that for when I go to hotels and bittorrent a fuckton of music via the hotel's free unsecured WiFi.

The second reason I haven't installed SteamOS is that I don't know what to do with it.  Sure the instructions in the article explicitly tell me that I can play games via Steam on SteamOS, but, since I'm exclusively a console gamer, I need something else to do with this operating system.  Yes, I could engage in investigation to discover what else I could do with SteamOS, but I'm lazy and I want to be told exactly what I can do and how, hence the reason the I need idiotproof instructions.

Therefore, I'm going to wait untill more people find more things to do with SteamOS before I download and install it.  Then again, this may be something that stays on my To Do List for many years to come, right next to paying off my credit card debt and exercising.

None The Way

There's a problem with giving people an absolute choice as a way to motivate them: They could choose to demotivational option.  A person could, rather than seeing the choice as a challenge to overcome, have a more pessimistic mindset and choose the path of least resistance.  Sure the person might regret the choice later, but in the moment they will regret nothing.  There's also the possibility that the person could be a complete cynic and choose the demotivational option just to spite the person giving them the choice.



Fine, I'll give up.