Kickstarter My Heart

Kickstarter My Heart

In recent weeks, the social funding website Kickstarter has been getting a lot of attention.  Most prominently, the recent announcement that Double Fine had raised over $3 Million on the site.  This amount of attention has made Kickstarter a very appealing to me.  This is why I have created my own Kickstarter page. 

The Project Journal Kickstarter page is a Kickstarter page with the purpose of funding the project I'm currently working on, codenamed Project Journal.  Not many details about Project Journal have been released, but I can tell you Project Journal is a thing that I am really working on.  There is no release date for Project Journal, other than the release date for Diablo III, which is tomorrow.  Tomorrow, tomorrow, you'll get Diablo III and Project Journal tomorrow, you're only (yet always) a day a away.

There is no funding necessary for the development of Project Journal, nor is there funding necessary for the publishing of Project Journal.  What is needed is money to pay for advertising.  It is my honest belief the reason The Hawk, The Hawk: Consequences Of Mayorust, and The Black Robin Christmas Carol weren't financially successful is that they were not advertised adequately.  My goal is to change that with Project Journal.  My goal is to create advertising for Project Journal that will make my work better known to the general public.  I already have contacted a prominent Madison Avenue advertising firm, Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce, and received a bid of $100,000 for the project.  The amount of money I want to raise is $200,000, because if some is good, more is better.

Like many other Kickstarter projects, I have incentives for people who donate in certain amounts.  Here is a list of those incentives.

For a $20 donation, I will send you Project Journal when it is released.  The picture shown above should not be taken as a clue that Project Journal is a book.

For a $50 donation, I will send you two books.  Which two books are up to me.  Books may or may not be written by me.

For a $100 donation, you will receive all of the books that I have released up to this point.  I may also throw in Project Journal, if in fact Project Journal is a book.

For a $250 donation, I will send a stripper to your house.  How you plan to explain this to your significant other is your problem.

For a $500 donation, I will send a good looking stripper to your house.  How you plan to explain this to your significant other is your problem.

For a $1000 donation, a character in Project Journal will be given a name of your choice.  The character that I have chosen is a villainous character, a character who whips a small boy to death, then whips, beats, and chokes a prominent female character to death.  Wouldn't it be awesome to, as you experience this gruesome despicable action as a part of Project Journal, be able to say, "That guy is named after me!"

For a $2000 donation, the prominent female character that is choked to death by the villainous character, which you can name with a donation, will be given a name of your choice.  There can be some joy is naming a character that is ultimately killed after a person in your life, but not a joy that you would admit to.

For a $5000 donation, you will receive a copy of Project Journal, but this time the copy of Project Journal you receive will be signed and include a slinky.

For a $7500 donation, you will receive a metal slinky.  Just the slinky and nothing else.

For a $10,000 donation, you will receive a T-Shirt that reads "I gave some random guy on the internet $10,000 and all I got was this T-shirt".  The T-Shirt will be made of silk from the endangered Dolorian silkworm.  Most garments made from materials from this animal sell for $50,000 to $137,590.  T-Shirts will be provided by Hect Dogg Industries.

For a $25,000 donation, you will get to name Project Journal.  Currently Project Journal does not have a set name.  A donation of this size will give you the right to name this project.  You can name it anything, assuming that it does not offend the liberal sensibilities of the writer of Project Journal.  Suggestions include: "Dan Rulez"  "I Love You Heather Morris"  "Ryan Leaf Is A Jackass"  "Tedakin Is A Sexy Motherfucker" and "Boobs"

For a $50,000 donation, I will come over to your house.  I'm not going to do anything, I will just go there and let you bask in the awesomeness that is Hunter F. Red.

Won't you help a young starving artist get the exposure he so richly deserves?  Also, will you help me too?  Young starving people are nice, but can I have your money as well?  You can find the Project Journal Kickstarter page at this link.