by Hunter
Red
When I
close my eyes I am taunted
Taunted
with images
Images of
her
Her
I can see
her
I can see
her walking around
I can see
her talking
I can see
her laughing
I can see
her being
Being
exactly what she wants to be
Being
exactly where she wants to be
Being
with me
When I
close my eyes I am taunted
Taunted
with images
Images of
her
Images of
her that only exist when my eyes are closed
Beer x72
by Hunter
Red
Beer
Beer
Beer beer
beer
Beer
Beer
Beer
Beer!
It is
time to get away
Beer
Beer
Beer beer
beer
Beer
Beer
Beer
Beer!
To a
place where there is bliss
Beer
Beer
Beer beer
beer
Beer
Beer
Beer
Beer!
Far away
from all of this
Beer
Beer
Beer beer
beer
Beer
Beer
Beer
Beer!
Somewhere
where there's no one near
Beer
Beer
Beer beer
beer
Beer
Beer
Beer
Beer!
No one
point out no one's near
Beer
Beer
Beer beer
beer
Beer
Beer
Beer
Beer!
Time
machine engage
Beer
Beer
Beer beer
beer
Beer
Beer
Beer
Beer!
Time
machine energize!
Beer
Beer
Beer beer
beer
Beer
Beer
Beer
Beer!
Oh wait,
I'm still here.
Red Review- Klown
Two years
ago, I received I Spit On Your Grave via Netflix. It was about Valentine's Day and I found it
fitting to be watching a horrible, deplorable piece of cinema on that day. The movie seemed to fit my mood. Thereafter I set out to make a tradition of
seeing horrible, deplorable pieces of cinema in time for Valentine's Day.
Last year
I intended to watch A Serbian Film in order to maintain this tradition. My plan was to go online and illegally
download it through means that are highly illegal and could get me prosecuted
and beaten by Chris Dodd.
This plan
hit a snag when A Serbian Film was legitimately released on a legitimate
Blu-Ray legitimately. So, I legitimately
bought it and posted a picture of myself holding the legitimate Blu-Ray copy of
A Serbian Film that I bought legitimately.
Due to the
legitimate release of A Serbian Film, my tradition of seeing horrible,
deplorable pieces of cinema hit a snag.
Undaunted by snags, I wanted to continue this tradition the next year,
meaning this year, and kept my ear to the ground for a movie of suitable
deplorableness.
Last year
I heard about a Swedish film entitled "Klown". Quoting from a review of Klown "Think of all the gags you think might go too far, and then watch as Nørgaard takes them even further." When I heard this description I thought I had
found a movie of suitable deplorableness to continue my tradition with. To this end, I had Klown sent to me via
Netflix.
I turned
Klown on and watched it. I watched it
and watched it... for about twenty minutes.
Throughout this twenty minute period there was one question that kept
coming back to me: When are they going to do anything? I understand the concept of character
development, as well as the need to set up the plot that the characters are
going to be following. However, as this
process is going on, the characters need to be doing something. Preferably, something interesting. Sure I could see where this film was going,
and who might be the principal characters in the thing that was going to
happen, but I sincerely didn't care about it.
I didn't even care about the pearl necklace joke that the filmmakers
took care to setup, then executed in a way that was wholly uncomfortable yet
wholly uninteresting.
After
about twenty minutes of watching Klown, I turned it off and started watching
Ted instead.
In my
opinion, Ted is a far more entertaining movie, and starts getting entertaining
very, very quickly. Ted gets
entertaining much more quickly than Klown.
I also
appreciated the parts with Joel McHale in it.
I've watched Mr. McHale for years, and have always appreciated the way
he can bring out the unapologetic jackass out of any role.
Ted might
have been more entertaining if I was inebriated at the time I watched it. I'll have to watch it again when I'm not
about to go to work, because showing up to work high is just an uncomfortable
experience.
Overall,
I could not suggest people watch Klown.
Perhaps if you have more patience and can wait a good long time for
something to pay off, you might like Klown.
However, if you sincerely like engaging in that kind of behavior, I
might suggest going through the ungodly torture that is properly saving for a
house. Klown and saving for a house seem
like great activities to engage in if you are a masochist.
Klown:
Not recommended
My Ruby
by Hunter
Red
My Ruby
is always there for me
My Ruby
is with me when I need her and when I do not
My Ruby
keeps me warm when the outside world tries to cool me
My Ruby
carries me throughout this world
My Ruby
takes me ass to town
My Ruby
is the one
My Ruby
is my all
My Ruby
is my love
My Ruby
is the one that I treasure above any other
My Ruby
is a car.
It Is
Coming
by Hunter
Red
It is
coming
It is
coming
I can
feel it getting closer everyday
It's
presence is becoming more evident
There are
messages delivered to me
Messages
of all kind, in all forms, from nearly all people
These
messages are not personal
But they
feel like they are personal to me
There are
signs all around
Replacing
other signs that sat for months
The
people around me are preparing
Preparing
for the thing that they look forward to
Preparing
for the thing that I dread
Preparing
themselves
Preparing
those around them
Preparing
Preparing
The time
is drawing nearer
And
nearer
And
nearer
Before
you know it
It's here
It's here
and I have to deal with it's presence
Not
because I want to deal with it's presence
But
because others obligate me to do so
The day
is coming
The day
of joyous celebration for most
And
dreadful torture for others
It is
coming
It is
coming
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