Saturday, October 8th, 11:25 P.M.
I noticed something before I went to the Modern Art
Museum on Thursday. The promotional
campaign for Spiker Sullivan's Restoration Of The Truth Rally is on in full
force. In addition to the t-shirts I see
being worn everywhere in town, the bumper stickers I see on cars driven mainly
by verbrechers, and the billboards that have more of a presence in Dha Chathair
than badly drawn graffiti. Spiker
Sullivan now has an infomercial. On
TV. Really. And this infomercial is not just run on one
of those television channels that are viewed more by cats than by people. The Spiker Sullivan Restoration Of The Truth
Rally promotional infomercial is run by fully operational television stations
that are watched by many of the millions of people in Dha Chathair. This fact deeply frightens me.
The person hosting Spiker's infomercial is Kelly
Kade. Miss Kade is one of the many
absurdly hot blonde women who Sly 7 hired as an on-camera news reader. Does she have her own independent thought? No, but Sly 7 didn't hire her to think. Can she read, speak clearly, and wear
business suits that highlight and accentuate her massive breasts? You betcha!
If I thought Kelly Kade had any substance, I might find her
attractive. Unfortunately, she doesn't,
so I don't.
Most of the infomercial is Kelly Kade delivering
realistic but fake news stories of the different politicians, dignitaries,
celebrities, and Sly 7 News personalities that will be at The Restoration Of
The Truth Rally. I use the full name of
the rally because that's all it was referred to as in the infomercial. Not the rally, or the event, or TROTTR, no,
the full and exact name of The Restoration Of The Truth Rally is the only way
Spiker's gathering was referred to as.
There was also a fake news story about how many people had signed up to
be at the event on Flight, glossing over the fact that Flight is filled with
camwhores, spambots, and spambots for camwhores. There were also segments where Kelly modeled
the The Restoration Of The Truth Rally merchandise. This consisted of Kelly and her absurdly hot
body holding various stickers, buttons, and water bottles at a level that
allowed the camera to also focus on Miss Kade's rack. I guess Sly 7 knows that sex sells.
Near the end of the infomercial, Spiker Sullivan
made an appearance. The contrast in the
attractiveness of Spiker and the attractiveness of Kelly is stunning. Spiker was sitting in his office looking like
a villain from a spy movie when he began to speak.
"Hello, my friends. I know that there are those out there who
will dismiss what you have seen as just an infomercial, a promotion for The
Restoration Of The Truth Rally on October 15th.
Those dismissive types are just who The Restoration Of The Truth Rally
is for. On October 15th, it will become
abundantly clear what the one and only truth is. Also, on that date, a stark contrast will be
made between the good, honest, true, faithful people in Dha Chathair, and those
who are filthy, impure, unworthy fretons.
I'll see you on October 15th."
Freton!
That's what he just said, freton.
I still feel the sting associated with that word. Before seeing the infomercial, I was
concerned about what was going to happen at the rally. Now, I am afraid.
Later.
Hato Shurtleff
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