****- Top Fifteen Depressing Bug Reviews

Top 15 List

This was inspired by posts from San_Andreas_666 and Cary Woodman, except I’m going all mad libs with mine. Enjoy, or don’t.

1. What is my all-time favorite arcade game?
The one furthest away from that creepy guy.
2. Favorite game series, any genre?
Superman
3. Favorite Final Fantasy hero?
The guy with the absurdly large sword that is in no way compensating for
anything.
4. Favorite Dragon Quest hero?
What is this Dragon Quest you speak of?
5. Favorite RPG series that is NOT Final Fantasy or Dragon Quest?
There are others?
Favorite character from the following fighting game series:
6. Street Fighter?
The blond American guy.
7. Mortal Kombat?
The blond American guy.
8. Virtua Fighter?
The blond American guy.
9. Tekken?
Nina Williams
11. Favorite early 90's Konami licensed beat-'em-up?
Hulk Hogan vs. A Vat of Caustic Acid
12. Favorite anime TV series?
The non-sci-fi one with no sexual tension that makes sense.
13. Which console do I own the most games for?
Virtual Boy
14. What state am I originally from?
Denial
15. Which state is my proposed "next GTA" modelled after?
The Salt Lake Valley Metro Complex-ville. Name: GTA: LDSin City.


:(

Quote from my review of The Watchmen:
This movie is a true triumph in the field of comic book cinema. I just hope this movie is successful. Otherwise, the era of black and white might return.

Quote from Comicbookmovie.com:
With Watchmen failing to reach that imaginary dollar mark that makes the studio feel good about themselves, WB is leaning towards no more R rated Superhero tent poles.

God damn it.



Fallout 3 The Pitt DLC Review (Written 3/25/09)



One of the things that continue to facinate me is Entomology, the study of bugs. I am facinated by social structure, communication tactics, and impact on the world around them. I will spend hours watching an inchworm make it's way across a tree stem.

That is why I found Fallout 3's new DLC, The Pitt, such a blast to play. The Pitt is mad buggy!



Fallout 3 The Pitt: I


Fallout 3 The Pitt DLC Review (Written 3/27/09)



I took a music class in college. One of the people I met in this class was a guy named Paul. He was great. He was into video games, anime, hardcore death metal, he was like me but cool.

One day Paul walked up to me and asked me if I was up for making some quick cash. Of course I was up for it, after all, Paul was my friend, and he offered me money. I went over to Paul's house where he gave me an address and a package. Paul told me to go to the address and give the package to a woman named Maria. Then Maria would give me a suitcase full of money that we would split. I asked Paul what was in the package and he said, "Something Maria thinks is very valuable and is willing to pay top dollar for." At that point I knew what Paul was having me do.

So I began to drive south, over the border, to the address in Monterrey, Mexico. When I got to the address, I was perplexed. The address appeared to be a run down Catholic mission. A woman came out of the building, walked over to me, and asked if she could help me. I asked the woman if she knew a maria, she told me she was Maria. I told her that I was here with a package from Paul. Maria went back in the building and came back with a briefcase. We make the exchange and parted ways, but I was curious, why would a person like her run this kind of business from a Catholic mission?

I crept up to the window and peered in. I saw Maria opening the package, her eyes lit up when she saw what was inside. Maria then said, in a loud resonate voice, "Kids!" A herd of children of various ages rushed into the room and crowded around Maria. Maria reached into the bag and began dispersing the contents of the package, a teddy bear for each and every child.



What the fuck! Paul used me and deceived me. I thought I was running drugs down to Mexico, not fucking teddy bears!

Ever since that day, I've had a problem with people using me to do things. Maybe that's why Fallout 3's The Pitt DLC left me with such a bitter taste in my mouth.

Wernher. That mother fucker. How dare he use me like that. Son of a trog.

Fallout 3 The Pitt DLC: B-

The Watchmen Review

I saw The Watchmen on Monday night. As I was watching it and on the way home, I was thinking of a review to write. Usually when I write, I have an ending in mind. For this I do not have an ending. I have two. Here they are.



I'm not a comic book geek, there's very few titles I've read and actually liked. This is because most comic books show the extremes of people. Absolute true heroes, entirely evil villains, perpetually loyal followers, wholly corrupt criminals, and other diametrically opposed parties in conflict.

The comic books I like show society as it is. Not black, not white, but differing intensities of gray. V for Vendetta, The Sandman, Sin City, and The Dark Knight fit this mold, and are therefore favored by myself. The favorite of myself, and others, is The Watchmen.

The Watchmen showed people as they actually are. Complex, moralistic, remorseful, lustful, struggling on a daily basis with who they are and how they fit in. So when I heard a movie was in the works, I was hesitant. I had this feeling that movie makers would foul up this true vision of the world, and turn it into one where blinding light chases an all encompassing shadow. In short, I thought the industry wold fuck this up.

That did not happen. The true vision displayed in The Watchmen comic is maintained in The Watchmen movie. This movie is a true triumph in the field of comic book cinema. I just hope this movie is successful. Otherwise, the era of black and white might return.

The Watchmen: A



I never feel as truly alone as I do when I'm in a movie theater. In other parts of the world, I can always distract myself with other things. Music, podcasts, manga, handheld games, TiVo, the internet, all sorts of things. However, when I'm in a movie theater, all I'm left with is me and my thoughts and observations.

I see people, all around me, together. With a spouse, with a potential spouse, with a friend, with a family member, with a co-worker, with someone. No one goes to the movies alone. No one except me.

This isn't an isolated incident. I go to restaurants alone, work alone, drive alone, read alone, write alone, sleep alone, nearly everything I do, I do alone. I just never really think of it until I'm at the movies.

I think of these things in that place for many reasons. It's dark, ambient noise is mute, my observations of people is limited, and on, and on, and on. Even the subject matter of the movie makes me think of it. When I watched The Watchmen, I saw the romantic relationship develop between Silk Specture and Night Owl, and I felt alone. I watched Laurie and Dan kiss, and I felt alone. I watched these two characters make love, and I felt alone. As I pen this passage, remembering the great movie I just saw, I feel alone.

I do not like this feeling. It is long since past the time when I should had rid myself of this feeling. I need to make a purgative act. I am just unsure as to how. I need help. Unfortunately, I am alone.

The Watchmen: A