Braid Review

Braid is a game that is getting a lot of talk after it's release on the Xbox Live Arcade. It has a Metacritic average of 93, it received an A+ from 1UP, and has been generally seen as the best XBLA game to come out in a while.

After hearing this praise, I thought I might like to play Braid. I got the demo, played around with it for a while, and then decided not to buy it. I have one overarching reason why I didn't buy it, and that was not price. Considering that we, as a gaming public, willingly and often spend $60 for games, $15 for a great game seems like a bargain. My reason for not buying Braid can be wrapped up in five words. These are words I have said often, in fact, when I was three years old, I said these exact words to my mother. I can't fucking see anything.


Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I must admit several things. First, I have a 27 inch TV. Second, I sit nine and a half feet from my TV. Third, I have 20/42 vision and need glasses in order to see. However, with most games, none of this is a problem. I played MGS4 with no problem seeing things. I played Bioshock with no problems seeing things. I played Dr. Mario RX with no problem seeing things. The only other game I've played that I've run into sight related problems is N+. Although, I must admit, I also strongly object to N+'s portrayal of people with extreme anorexia.


Now, most people in this position would not give a grade to his game, but I am not most people, and am quite proud of that. The grade I am giving Braid XBLA is E. E, as in E,F,P,T,O,Z.

Mr. Driller XBLA Review

I received a call the other day from a reporter from the Salt Lake Tribune. He was looking for a Kenyon Blake, my father, in hopes of getting a comment on the Crandall Canyon Mine Disaster, and his views on Bob Murray. My family gets calls like this ever so often, so I had to set him straight.

Kenyon Blake is the name of a man who warned of an impending mine explosion in South-Eastern Utah. The mine did in fact explode, taking the lives of many of the miners that worked therein. Kenyon Blake was heralded as a whistle blower and a hero until his death in 1963. My dad was born in 1964. So this reporter looking for a quote was clearly mistaken. He apologized for the mistake and asked me what I thought of the situation. Here is what I said.

As evidenced by the fact that Bob Murray was in Dick Cheney's secret energy meeting, and his recent contributions to various Republican campaigns, Bob Murray is a Bush Administration insider. He has influence in politics, and influence in politicians. This is why Bob Murray will never be brought truly to task for the Crandall Canyon Mine Disaster. He will continue to hide out, lay low, and not appear in any public forum. This is simply bullshit. This is further proof that the Bush Administration is not concerned with the public good, but with the production and hording of massive amounts of money. The $1.34 Million fined is a joke, these people piss that kind of money. There will never be any true punishment for the disaster that took the lives of six miners last year. That is bullshit.

The reporter thanked me for my thoughts, and terminated the call. Afterward, I got back to what I was doing before, clearing off my 360 of Xbox Live Arcade demos. One of the demos I saw was for Mr. Driller XBLA. I played the demo and bought the full game afterward. The bright colors, energetic characters, and generally upbeat attitude are in stark contrast to the perpetually dark, persistently corrupt, and wholly depressing state the mining industry is currently in, I found the game easy to play, challenging without being frustrating, and a complete blast to play.

I would recommend this game to all who can obtain it, if not just to try it out. I would also recommend, despite me being a atheist, that Bob Murray go straight to hell.

If you see this man, please, punch him in the face.

Mr Driller XBLA: B