Dan Wheldon dies following crash
Red Review: Hotel Dusk
Red Review: Hotel Dusk
In a bar in Salt Lake City, just down the street from The Official Offices of The Redertainment Corporation Of America, Hunter Red is trying to chat up a girl at a bar, named Bridgette Pan.
Hunter Red- ...but the pacing in that film was so cool, especially in the first sequence.
Bridgette Pan- Which part was that?
Hunter Red- The first part where Ryan Gossling's character is the getaway driver trying to get away from the cops. In most car movies recently, that sequence would have been all action, all adrenaline, all fast fast fast fast.
Bridgette Pan- Yeah.
Hunter Red- But in Drive, that scene is paced in a way that result in this thick, rich tension being developed over time, and I truly enjoy that.
Bridgette Pan- I see.
Bridgette Pan is clearly not impressed by Hunter Red, but Hunter Red doesn't realize it.
Hunter Red- So, can I call you sometime? Perhaps get some coffee?
Bridgette Pan- Well, I don't drink coffee, but yeah, I'll give you my number.
Bridgette Pan gets out a piece of paper, writes down a number, and gives it to Hunter Red.
Bridgette Pan- There you go.
Hunter Red- Allright, I'll call you.
Bridgette Pan- Yeah, sure.
Bridgette Pan gets up off her barstool and walks away. As Hunter Red watches her leave, a guy sits down next to Hunter Red.
Unknown Guy- Crash and burn.
Hunter Red turns to talk to this guy.
Hunter Red- Excuse me?
Unknown Guy- You just blew your chance. That girl is never going to talk to you again.
Hunter Red- What makes you think you know anything about-
Unknown Guy- Call the number she just gave you.
Hunter Red- Won't calling her so soon make me seem-
Unknown Guy- Just call it.
Hunter Red takes out his cellphone and calls the number Bridgette Pan gave him. After a few moments, Hunter Red hangs up his phone and has a dejected look on his face.
Unknown Guy- Was it the girl you were just chatting up?
Hunter Red- No.
Unknown Guy- Who was it?
Hunter Red- The Department Of Sewage Treatment.
Unknown Guy- Ouch! That is a major slam.
Hunter Red gets a really dejected look on his face.
Unknown Guy- Hey, cheer up guy. I can help you out.
Hunter Red- Who are you?
Unknown Guy- Martin Summer. You might have heard of me.
Hunter Red- No, I can't say I have.
Martin Summer- Really? You must not read much. I'm kind of a big deal in the writing world.
Hunter Red- What do you, run a publishing house or something?
Martin Summer gets this offended look on his face.
Martin Summer- No, I'm a writer.
Hunter Red- Really? So am I.
Martin Summer- Pfft. I doubt it. If you were a writer, I'd have heard of you.
Hunter Red- I haven't heard of you. Also, I don't want myself to be famous, I want my work to be famous.
Martin Summer- Pfft. That's child's play. All good writers want to be a famous big deal, like I am.
Hunter Red- Sure you are.
Martin Summer- You don't believe me?
Hunter Red- No, I do not believe you.
Martin Summer- Check this out.
Martin Summer turns to a woman sitting on the barstool next to him, heretofore referred to as Nicole.
Martin Summer- Hello miss.
Nicole- Hi.
Martin Summer- I'm Martin Summer. Perhaps you've heard of me?
Nicole- Oh yeah.
Clearly, Nicole has not heard of Martin Summer nor is really listening to him. Not recognizing this, Martin Summer persists.
Martin Summer- So, perhaps we can meet up later. I can talk to you about writing theory, the creative process, and general deep philosophical concepts.
Nicole- Oh yeah, sure. (To someone away from the bar.) Hey, Angela!
Nicole gets up and walks away from the bar. Hunter Red takes note of this.
Hunter Red- That seemed to work well.
Martin Summer takes out his smartphone and points it at Nicole. After a couple of moments, he says-
Martin Summer- Yep, lesbian. I had no shot, my phone confirms that.
Hunter Red- Sure it does.
Martin Summer- Yeah, lines like that work all the time if the girl in question is receptive to it.
Hunter Red finishes his drink then speaks to Martin Summer again.
Hunter Red- Sure. Hey, I'm going to go over there, but I'll be right back to learn your technique.
Martin Summer- I'm looking forward to teaching you the technique that removed the panties off ladies nationwide.
Hunter Red-(Sarcastically) Sure it did.
Hunter Red walks away from the bar, wholly intending not to return. Martin Summer gets the attention of the bartender.
Martin Summer- Bartender, get me the manliest drink you have, which is, of course, a Stella Artois. The beer so manly Adrien Body does ads for it.
END SCENE
Written on my iPad while listening to my iPod Touch while drinking my iSoda. Thank you Mr. Jobs.
In a bar in Salt Lake City, just down the street from The Official Offices of The Redertainment Corporation Of America, Hunter Red is trying to chat up a girl at a bar, named Bridgette Pan.
Hunter Red- ...but the pacing in that film was so cool, especially in the first sequence.
Bridgette Pan- Which part was that?
Hunter Red- The first part where Ryan Gossling's character is the getaway driver trying to get away from the cops. In most car movies recently, that sequence would have been all action, all adrenaline, all fast fast fast fast.
Bridgette Pan- Yeah.
Hunter Red- But in Drive, that scene is paced in a way that result in this thick, rich tension being developed over time, and I truly enjoy that.
Bridgette Pan- I see.
Bridgette Pan is clearly not impressed by Hunter Red, but Hunter Red doesn't realize it.
Hunter Red- So, can I call you sometime? Perhaps get some coffee?
Bridgette Pan- Well, I don't drink coffee, but yeah, I'll give you my number.
Bridgette Pan gets out a piece of paper, writes down a number, and gives it to Hunter Red.
Bridgette Pan- There you go.
Hunter Red- Allright, I'll call you.
Bridgette Pan- Yeah, sure.
Bridgette Pan gets up off her barstool and walks away. As Hunter Red watches her leave, a guy sits down next to Hunter Red.
Unknown Guy- Crash and burn.
Hunter Red turns to talk to this guy.
Hunter Red- Excuse me?
Unknown Guy- You just blew your chance. That girl is never going to talk to you again.
Hunter Red- What makes you think you know anything about-
Unknown Guy- Call the number she just gave you.
Hunter Red- Won't calling her so soon make me seem-
Unknown Guy- Just call it.
Hunter Red takes out his cellphone and calls the number Bridgette Pan gave him. After a few moments, Hunter Red hangs up his phone and has a dejected look on his face.
Unknown Guy- Was it the girl you were just chatting up?
Hunter Red- No.
Unknown Guy- Who was it?
Hunter Red- The Department Of Sewage Treatment.
Unknown Guy- Ouch! That is a major slam.
Hunter Red gets a really dejected look on his face.
Unknown Guy- Hey, cheer up guy. I can help you out.
Hunter Red- Who are you?
Unknown Guy- Martin Summer. You might have heard of me.
Hunter Red- No, I can't say I have.
Martin Summer- Really? You must not read much. I'm kind of a big deal in the writing world.
Hunter Red- What do you, run a publishing house or something?
Martin Summer gets this offended look on his face.
Martin Summer- No, I'm a writer.
Hunter Red- Really? So am I.
Martin Summer- Pfft. I doubt it. If you were a writer, I'd have heard of you.
Hunter Red- I haven't heard of you. Also, I don't want myself to be famous, I want my work to be famous.
Martin Summer- Pfft. That's child's play. All good writers want to be a famous big deal, like I am.
Hunter Red- Sure you are.
Martin Summer- You don't believe me?
Hunter Red- No, I do not believe you.
Martin Summer- Check this out.
Martin Summer turns to a woman sitting on the barstool next to him, heretofore referred to as Nicole.
Martin Summer- Hello miss.
Nicole- Hi.
Martin Summer- I'm Martin Summer. Perhaps you've heard of me?
Nicole- Oh yeah.
Clearly, Nicole has not heard of Martin Summer nor is really listening to him. Not recognizing this, Martin Summer persists.
Martin Summer- So, perhaps we can meet up later. I can talk to you about writing theory, the creative process, and general deep philosophical concepts.
Nicole- Oh yeah, sure. (To someone away from the bar.) Hey, Angela!
Nicole gets up and walks away from the bar. Hunter Red takes note of this.
Hunter Red- That seemed to work well.
Martin Summer takes out his smartphone and points it at Nicole. After a couple of moments, he says-
Martin Summer- Yep, lesbian. I had no shot, my phone confirms that.
Hunter Red- Sure it does.
Martin Summer- Yeah, lines like that work all the time if the girl in question is receptive to it.
Hunter Red finishes his drink then speaks to Martin Summer again.
Hunter Red- Sure. Hey, I'm going to go over there, but I'll be right back to learn your technique.
Martin Summer- I'm looking forward to teaching you the technique that removed the panties off ladies nationwide.
Hunter Red-(Sarcastically) Sure it did.
Hunter Red walks away from the bar, wholly intending not to return. Martin Summer gets the attention of the bartender.
Martin Summer- Bartender, get me the manliest drink you have, which is, of course, a Stella Artois. The beer so manly Adrien Body does ads for it.
END SCENE
Written on my iPad while listening to my iPod Touch while drinking my iSoda. Thank you Mr. Jobs.
Romantically Mining Screaming Politicians
Politician
By Hunter Red
I see the two of you sitting across the way.
I see you
Taking, laughing, connecting,
Generally being engrossed with eachother,
Loving eachother,
Reveling in the closeless you two share.
I see the two of you,
I watch you,
I am jealous of you,
I am envious of you,
I see that you have what I do not,
What the world has denied me,
I see you and I hate you
I decide as I am sitting there,
As I am watching you,
You,
And I make a decision.
I will use my influence,
I will use my position,
I will use my power,
And I will make you miserable,
As miserable as I am.
No.
More.
I will bring a mighty weight down upon you,
A weight that, even thought you will surely try,
Is inescapable.
A weight that is weilded by me, people like me,
And, most importantly, not you,
You unworthy scum.
I will use this weight to prevent you from having
What I want,
But has been denied to me.
You will be cast aside,
Cast down,
Through the actions of many,
And in the mind of you
Because of what I do
To you
You will not have what I desire
Because of me,
Because of my hatred for you.
And even if you try to attain
What I fervently wish I had,
Because of me,
Because of me!
You will not enjoy it.
Overlooked Ruby
If you venture into a mine, long since abandoned by it's owner, you can often find little gems in the less traveled sections of the mine. Often these are gems that have been overlooked by those who were digging the mine. Sometimes these gems are ones that were discarded, either because the gem was not what the mine owner was looking for, or the gem was not of an attractive market value. If you venture into these abandoned mines and find these abandoned gems, they can often sparkle in your eyes and, in a soft subtle way, speak to the holder. The holder can hear the gem say things to them that they find to be sweet, alluring, and just what they needed to hear at the moment. Sometimes, on a very rare occasion, that gem can say to the holder, "Hello. My name is Hunter."
We Want Answers!
Hunter Red is sitting in his office reading, shockingly enough, the newspaper. Specifically, Hunter is reading the Salt Lake Tribune. While Hunter is reading the newspaper, he comes across a story that, while reading it, causes his face to contort in distressing ways. Eventually Hunter angrily throws down his newspaper, storms out of his office, and begins to pound on the office door of his boss, Rodger Red.
Hunter Red- Rodger! RODGER! I just read something in the newspaper. Rodger! (Pound Pound Pound) RODGER! There's a news story that says that The Redertainment Corporation Of America might run out of money come winter. Rodger! (Pound Pound Pound Pound Pound) RODGER! Are you going to say anything about this? Are you going to refute this? Is this story false? Were you going to tell Julia, Liz, 5toz, or me about this? Rodger! RODGER! (More Vigorous Pound Pound Pound) Damn it, I know you're in there! Get out here and answer these questions. Rodger RODGER! RODGER!!! (Continued Pounding Untill The Scene Fades To Black)
END SCENE
By Hunter Red
I see the two of you sitting across the way.
I see you
Taking, laughing, connecting,
Generally being engrossed with eachother,
Loving eachother,
Reveling in the closeless you two share.
I see the two of you,
I watch you,
I am jealous of you,
I am envious of you,
I see that you have what I do not,
What the world has denied me,
I see you and I hate you
I decide as I am sitting there,
As I am watching you,
You,
And I make a decision.
I will use my influence,
I will use my position,
I will use my power,
And I will make you miserable,
As miserable as I am.
No.
More.
I will bring a mighty weight down upon you,
A weight that, even thought you will surely try,
Is inescapable.
A weight that is weilded by me, people like me,
And, most importantly, not you,
You unworthy scum.
I will use this weight to prevent you from having
What I want,
But has been denied to me.
You will be cast aside,
Cast down,
Through the actions of many,
And in the mind of you
Because of what I do
To you
You will not have what I desire
Because of me,
Because of my hatred for you.
And even if you try to attain
What I fervently wish I had,
Because of me,
Because of me!
You will not enjoy it.
Overlooked Ruby
If you venture into a mine, long since abandoned by it's owner, you can often find little gems in the less traveled sections of the mine. Often these are gems that have been overlooked by those who were digging the mine. Sometimes these gems are ones that were discarded, either because the gem was not what the mine owner was looking for, or the gem was not of an attractive market value. If you venture into these abandoned mines and find these abandoned gems, they can often sparkle in your eyes and, in a soft subtle way, speak to the holder. The holder can hear the gem say things to them that they find to be sweet, alluring, and just what they needed to hear at the moment. Sometimes, on a very rare occasion, that gem can say to the holder, "Hello. My name is Hunter."
We Want Answers!
Hunter Red is sitting in his office reading, shockingly enough, the newspaper. Specifically, Hunter is reading the Salt Lake Tribune. While Hunter is reading the newspaper, he comes across a story that, while reading it, causes his face to contort in distressing ways. Eventually Hunter angrily throws down his newspaper, storms out of his office, and begins to pound on the office door of his boss, Rodger Red.
Hunter Red- Rodger! RODGER! I just read something in the newspaper. Rodger! (Pound Pound Pound) RODGER! There's a news story that says that The Redertainment Corporation Of America might run out of money come winter. Rodger! (Pound Pound Pound Pound Pound) RODGER! Are you going to say anything about this? Are you going to refute this? Is this story false? Were you going to tell Julia, Liz, 5toz, or me about this? Rodger! RODGER! (More Vigorous Pound Pound Pound) Damn it, I know you're in there! Get out here and answer these questions. Rodger RODGER! RODGER!!! (Continued Pounding Untill The Scene Fades To Black)
END SCENE
Jargon To English: Sony Website TOS Version
Terms Of Servicing You
Earlier this year, I, along with my personal kick-ass attorney Ed Brass, did a section by section legal jargon to English translation of the iTunes Terms Of Service Agreement. Recently I encountered the Terms Of Service Agreement for the Playstation Network. This TOS confounded me in a way that usually only communicating with drunk people does. Therefore I teamed up with Ed Brass again to translate the Playstation Network Terms Of Service from legal jargon into English that is understandable by humans.
The first thing I am going to tackle is the Terms Of Service that you have to agree to when you make an account and sign into one of Sony's websites. That is not the PlayStation Network Terms Of Service agreements, just the agreement you, apparently, agree to when you use one of Sony's websites. The Sony website TOS agreement is six pages long, the Sony PSN TOS is much longer. No, seriously. I will tackle the Sony PlayStation Network Terms Of Service agreement once I and Ed Brass has a free month and a half.
Link to Terms Of Service Agreement
Here are the Terms of Service we expect you to follow:
1. ABILITY TO ACCEPT TERMS OF SERVICE
This section says that this Terms Of Service agreement is a legally binding contract between you and Sony. It also says that by using Sony's websites you affirm that you are able to enter into legally binding contracts.
2. ACCOUNT AND NON-ACCOUNT USERS
This section says that you do not need to create a Playstation Network (PSN) account to view Sony's sites, but if you do create an account, you will have access to more of the features of Sony's websites, as well as Sony's online community, which allows you access to games, additional content for games, movies, television shows, and original programming. This section also informs you of how you can create your own PlayStation Network account, but also informs you that creating such an account will result in you having to agree to another Terms Of Service agreement, as well as a Privacy Policy that governs PSN. These agreements also apply to you when you sign into your PSN account on Sony's websites. Also, creating a PSN account is free.
3. USE OF YOUR INFORMATION
This section states that Sony respects your information and privacy and will not disclose your personal information to any third party, other than parties states in their Privacy Policy. It also states that by using Sony's sites, you affirm that Sony is not responsible for the personal information that you disclose on it's sites. This section also warns you about disclosing personal identification on it's sites.
This paragraph discloses that you may be provided with information about products and services from companies not affiliated with Sony, and that Sony is not responsible for information given to you by any outside party.
4. OWNERSHIP OF CONTENT ON SITES
This section deals with the ownership of content on Sony's websites. This section makes it abundantly clear that content that appears on Sony's sites are owned by the people who created that content, not you. This section also states that you CAN NOT create content based on content on Son'y sites without express permission of the content owner. It also says that you can not tell content that is available on Sony's sites.
This paragraph explicitly states what you, the user, can do with the content that is made available on Sony's sites. This paragraph states that you can:
1. Surf and view sites that have Sony's content on it in a manner consistent with normal web browsing activity
2. Use the content available on Sony's sites for personal, non-commercial use. It also makes it abundantly clear that you, the user, can not make money by distributing the content available on Sony's sites for any profit making venture. This includes many ideas that Sony does not go into great detail about because they do not want to make an exhaustive list of such ideas. (It actually says that they do not want to create an exhaustive list)
This paragraph states that, even if Sony does give you permission to use the content on Sony's sites, they still own that content. Also, if they include any information conveying any ownership information on the content, you should not alter that information.
5. USER GENERATED CONTENT
This section deals with User Generated Content, hence the section title. This section informs you that some of Sony's sites allow you to communicate with other users and create, upload, share, and distribute content in connection with those sites. Content governed by this section does not include blog posts and message board postings. If you post your viewpoints on your blog site or message boards, you have no right to restrict or allow access to that content.
A. YOUR USE OF USER GENERATED CONTENT
This section tells you that, while it is great for you to share and upload content, that certain kinds of content are not authorized to be uploaded to Sony's sites. This section then tells you what kinds of content are not authorized for use on Sony's sites. There are as follows:
1. Copyrighted material, unless you have permission from the copyright holder.
2. Content that contains false statements or misrepresentations that could damage Sony or any third party.
3. Contents that contain messages that make fun of Sony or any third party.
4. Contents that can be deemed offensive in any reasonable context, or encourages people to break the law.
5. Content that serves as an ad for any commercial activity.
6. Impersonates a person that is not yourself.
7. Content that acts as SPAM for a product or service.
8. Content that violated the Code Of Conduct, to be described later, the Terms Of Service, or any other agreement referenced in this Terms Of Service.
B. LICENSE FOR USER GENERATED CONTENT
This section pertains to licensing of User Generated Content. If you post content to Sony's sites, assuming you have to right to use that content, you are giving Sony the right to use that content. Sony's does not have to gain permission to use any content you upload to Sony's sites, as this agreement serves as your consent. Nor do they have to pay you for said content.
By loading content onto Sony's sites, you give Sony an unconditional, perpetual, and boundless license to use that content in any way they deem fit. They can use your content in any way, in any media form, in any country, and do not have to compensate you for doing so. Sony can also create derivative works based on content that you upload onto their sites. Sony can also license the content that you upload to any Sony site to any third party that they see fit without having to obtain permission from the creator.
Also, if you upload content based on any copyright you hold or have right to, you give Sony the right to distribute that content consistent with the paragraph seen above. You have no right to dispute Sony's use of said content. It is also your responsibility to resolve any dispute that arises if you lose the right to any copyrighted property that you create content for that you upload to any of Sony's sites. Your responsibility, not Sony's.
C. SCREENING AND REMOVAL OF USER GENERATED CONTENT
This section states that Sony has the right, but not the obligation, to screen, move, edit, or remove any content uploaded to Sony's sites for any reason.
D. RISK FROM USER GENERATED CONTENT
This section makes it clear that Sony is not responsible for content that they do not create. Sony advises that you should enjoy this content at your own risk.
The following paragraph affirms that the content that appears on Sony's sites is the responsibility of the person who created the content, not Sony.
6. YOUR COPYRIGHTED WORK
This section deals with copyrighted work. Sony Computer Entertainment America, Inc. ("SCEA") respects the copyrights of others, and has adopted the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (17 U.S.C. 512 et seq.).
SCEA, once they are altered about an infringement of copyright law, may remove or block access to the disputed content, and can deny users access to Sony's sites if the repeatedly engage in this behavior. If SCEA does take action in relation to a copyright dispute, they will take reasonable steps to inform impacted parties of their actions.
Procedure for Reporting Copyright Infringement:
This paragraph tell you that if you believe that content uploaded to one of Sony's sites infringes on your copyright, the Designated Agent for such disputes is:
Riley Russell
Legal & Business Affairs Department
Sony Computer Entertainment America Inc.
919 East Hillside Blvd., 2nd Floor
Foster City, CA 94404
By phone: 650-655-8000
By email: infringement@playstation.sony.com
The following paragraphs and bullet points tell you what information must be included when you make a claim of copyright infringement. If you legitimately feel that something uploaded to one of Sony's sites infringes on your copyright, might I suggest contacting a powerful attorney about this manner, such as Brass Cordova.
Supplying a Counter-Notice Regarding Alleged Copyright Infringement
The following paragraphs and bullet points deals the process you must undertake if you feel that a wrongful claim of copyright infringement has been made against you. Again, if you feel this is the case, contact a powerful attorney, such as Brass Cordova.
7. CODE OF CONDUCT
This section lays out the Code Of Conduct, governing permissible and impermissible conduct on Sony's online community, PlayStation Network. This section stipulates that if you sign into PSN, you must adhere to Sony's Code Of Conduct.
This paragraph stated that you are not allowed to give any legitimate and legal information that can identify you, your family, or your business directly on one of Sony's sites.
Under Sony's Code Of Conduct policy, you are also prohibited from doing the following:
a. Anything deceptive or misleading
b. Any abusive, intimidating, harassing, or stalking behavior
c. Making any content available on one of Sony's sites that can be seen as offensive in any way. This includes content that is racist, ethnically offensive, bigoted, sexist, libelous, defaming, threatening, bullying, or stalking
d. Organizing hate groups
e. Spreading viruses, worms, spyware, time bombs, or other programs that can damage, interfere, or disrupt Sony's sites, computers, or users
f. Doing anything that causes a disruption to one of Sony's sites, hardware, software, or network
g. Engaging in hacking or reverse engineering while utilizing one of Sony's services
h. Making a false report of user abuse
i. Violating the law
j. Taking action that disrupts the normal flow of things on one of Sony's sites, including posting junk letters, unauthorized material, SPAM, excessive mails, or chain letters
k. Using one of Sony's sites to distribute commercial content
l. Posting content that you are aware infringes on the rights of any third party, as well as breaks the law, regulation, contract, or fiduciary obligations
m. Impersonating any person on one of Sony's sites
n. Using information taken from one of Sony's sites to develop your own hardware or software, whether that hardware or software is authorized or unauthorized.
8. REPORTING ABUSE
This section details the process you must undertake when you want to report abuse on one of Sony's sites. To report violations, call SCEA Consumer Services at 1-800-345-7669, or use the moderation tools on the website that you are using.
9. HOTSPOT AND INTERNET SERVICE PROVIDERS
This section informs you that Sony is not an Internet Service Provider, and that they are not responsible for problems, charges, or information collecting that comes with utilizing a Internet Service Provider, which Sony is not.
10. LINKING POLICY
This section tells you the rules for linking to something on one of Sony's sites from a site not owned by Sony. The link in question must not disparage Sony, the site linking to Sony's site must not claim to be a connected to Sony, the website doing the linking must not alter the way that Sony's site appears, and the website doing the linking must not display any of Sony's logos to create the link that they are using to deliver users to one of Sony's websites.
This paragraph states that you may use Sony's sites to link to a third party site. It also says that Sony does not screen such links and are not responsible for the content that such links take you to. By using Sony's sites, you agree that Sony does in fact hold no responsibility. Enjoy!
11. SWEEPSTAKES, CONTESTS AND PROMOTIONS
This section deals with contests that are made available on Sony's sites, and makes it clear that there are different rules for every contest and that the rules for those contests must be read in full before you participate in those contests.
12. WARRANTY DISCLAIMER
This sections conveys that Sony hopes that you enjoy the sites that Sony owns and hopes that they function properly, but is not responsible for any damages that occur when utilizing Sony's sites. There is no warranty of any kind implied or administered when utilizing Sony's sites whatsoever.
13.LIMITATION OF LIABILITY
This section limits the liability that Sony can occur when users utilize their sites. In summation, Sony, it's employees, executives, shareholders, representatives, agents, or anybody else associated with Sony assumes no liability of any kind for anything.
14. INDEMNITY
This sections states that upon agreeing to this Terms Of Service agreement, you, the person agreeing to this agreement, agrees to hold Sony, or anybody affiliated directly with Sony, blameless from any and all damages that can arise from you posting User Generated Content on Sony's sites. Sony also refuses to defend you if any third part makes any claims against you for the posting of such content on Sony's sites.
15. MODIFICATION
This section states that Sony can make changes to this Terms Of Service agreements at any time. This section also states that by using one of Sony's sites, you agree to follow the current Terms Of Service agreement. To print out a copy of this document, go to http://www.us.playstation.com/termsofuse.
16. INDEPENDENT PARTIES
This sections makes it clear that you are not Sony, are not affiliated with Sony, do not have a working agreement with Sony, and are not allowed to represent yourself as being Sony, being affiliated with Sony, or having a working agreement with Sony.
17. TERMINATION
This sections asserts that Sony can terminate your access to Sony's sites at any time, but if Sony terminates your sections sections 3-9, 12, 13, 15 – 19, 21 and 22 of the Terms of Service will still apply to you.
18. STATUTE OF LIMITATION
This section states that, regardless of any law or statute to the contrary, that all grievances that you have in relation to this Terms Of Service will not result in legal action after one (1) year.
19. GOVERNING LAW AND JURISDICTION.
This section states that the Sony's Terms Of Service is governed by San Mateo County in the State Of California, and that, upon agreeing to this Terms Of Service agreement, all legal disputes must be made through those jurisdictions.
THIS PARAGRAPH IS IN ALL CAPS AND LOUDLY THANKS YOU FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ THIS TERMS OF SERVICE AGREEMENT!
The paragraph that informs you of all of the trademarks that Sony hold that you commonly run across in use of Sony's sites.
The Terms Of Service is copyrighted by Sony Computer Entertainment America LLC. in 2011.
Earlier this year, I, along with my personal kick-ass attorney Ed Brass, did a section by section legal jargon to English translation of the iTunes Terms Of Service Agreement. Recently I encountered the Terms Of Service Agreement for the Playstation Network. This TOS confounded me in a way that usually only communicating with drunk people does. Therefore I teamed up with Ed Brass again to translate the Playstation Network Terms Of Service from legal jargon into English that is understandable by humans.
The first thing I am going to tackle is the Terms Of Service that you have to agree to when you make an account and sign into one of Sony's websites. That is not the PlayStation Network Terms Of Service agreements, just the agreement you, apparently, agree to when you use one of Sony's websites. The Sony website TOS agreement is six pages long, the Sony PSN TOS is much longer. No, seriously. I will tackle the Sony PlayStation Network Terms Of Service agreement once I and Ed Brass has a free month and a half.
Link to Terms Of Service Agreement
Here are the Terms of Service we expect you to follow:
1. ABILITY TO ACCEPT TERMS OF SERVICE
This section says that this Terms Of Service agreement is a legally binding contract between you and Sony. It also says that by using Sony's websites you affirm that you are able to enter into legally binding contracts.
2. ACCOUNT AND NON-ACCOUNT USERS
This section says that you do not need to create a Playstation Network (PSN) account to view Sony's sites, but if you do create an account, you will have access to more of the features of Sony's websites, as well as Sony's online community, which allows you access to games, additional content for games, movies, television shows, and original programming. This section also informs you of how you can create your own PlayStation Network account, but also informs you that creating such an account will result in you having to agree to another Terms Of Service agreement, as well as a Privacy Policy that governs PSN. These agreements also apply to you when you sign into your PSN account on Sony's websites. Also, creating a PSN account is free.
3. USE OF YOUR INFORMATION
This section states that Sony respects your information and privacy and will not disclose your personal information to any third party, other than parties states in their Privacy Policy. It also states that by using Sony's sites, you affirm that Sony is not responsible for the personal information that you disclose on it's sites. This section also warns you about disclosing personal identification on it's sites.
This paragraph discloses that you may be provided with information about products and services from companies not affiliated with Sony, and that Sony is not responsible for information given to you by any outside party.
4. OWNERSHIP OF CONTENT ON SITES
This section deals with the ownership of content on Sony's websites. This section makes it abundantly clear that content that appears on Sony's sites are owned by the people who created that content, not you. This section also states that you CAN NOT create content based on content on Son'y sites without express permission of the content owner. It also says that you can not tell content that is available on Sony's sites.
This paragraph explicitly states what you, the user, can do with the content that is made available on Sony's sites. This paragraph states that you can:
1. Surf and view sites that have Sony's content on it in a manner consistent with normal web browsing activity
2. Use the content available on Sony's sites for personal, non-commercial use. It also makes it abundantly clear that you, the user, can not make money by distributing the content available on Sony's sites for any profit making venture. This includes many ideas that Sony does not go into great detail about because they do not want to make an exhaustive list of such ideas. (It actually says that they do not want to create an exhaustive list)
This paragraph states that, even if Sony does give you permission to use the content on Sony's sites, they still own that content. Also, if they include any information conveying any ownership information on the content, you should not alter that information.
5. USER GENERATED CONTENT
This section deals with User Generated Content, hence the section title. This section informs you that some of Sony's sites allow you to communicate with other users and create, upload, share, and distribute content in connection with those sites. Content governed by this section does not include blog posts and message board postings. If you post your viewpoints on your blog site or message boards, you have no right to restrict or allow access to that content.
A. YOUR USE OF USER GENERATED CONTENT
This section tells you that, while it is great for you to share and upload content, that certain kinds of content are not authorized to be uploaded to Sony's sites. This section then tells you what kinds of content are not authorized for use on Sony's sites. There are as follows:
1. Copyrighted material, unless you have permission from the copyright holder.
2. Content that contains false statements or misrepresentations that could damage Sony or any third party.
3. Contents that contain messages that make fun of Sony or any third party.
4. Contents that can be deemed offensive in any reasonable context, or encourages people to break the law.
5. Content that serves as an ad for any commercial activity.
6. Impersonates a person that is not yourself.
7. Content that acts as SPAM for a product or service.
8. Content that violated the Code Of Conduct, to be described later, the Terms Of Service, or any other agreement referenced in this Terms Of Service.
B. LICENSE FOR USER GENERATED CONTENT
This section pertains to licensing of User Generated Content. If you post content to Sony's sites, assuming you have to right to use that content, you are giving Sony the right to use that content. Sony's does not have to gain permission to use any content you upload to Sony's sites, as this agreement serves as your consent. Nor do they have to pay you for said content.
By loading content onto Sony's sites, you give Sony an unconditional, perpetual, and boundless license to use that content in any way they deem fit. They can use your content in any way, in any media form, in any country, and do not have to compensate you for doing so. Sony can also create derivative works based on content that you upload onto their sites. Sony can also license the content that you upload to any Sony site to any third party that they see fit without having to obtain permission from the creator.
Also, if you upload content based on any copyright you hold or have right to, you give Sony the right to distribute that content consistent with the paragraph seen above. You have no right to dispute Sony's use of said content. It is also your responsibility to resolve any dispute that arises if you lose the right to any copyrighted property that you create content for that you upload to any of Sony's sites. Your responsibility, not Sony's.
C. SCREENING AND REMOVAL OF USER GENERATED CONTENT
This section states that Sony has the right, but not the obligation, to screen, move, edit, or remove any content uploaded to Sony's sites for any reason.
D. RISK FROM USER GENERATED CONTENT
This section makes it clear that Sony is not responsible for content that they do not create. Sony advises that you should enjoy this content at your own risk.
The following paragraph affirms that the content that appears on Sony's sites is the responsibility of the person who created the content, not Sony.
6. YOUR COPYRIGHTED WORK
This section deals with copyrighted work. Sony Computer Entertainment America, Inc. ("SCEA") respects the copyrights of others, and has adopted the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (17 U.S.C. 512 et seq.).
SCEA, once they are altered about an infringement of copyright law, may remove or block access to the disputed content, and can deny users access to Sony's sites if the repeatedly engage in this behavior. If SCEA does take action in relation to a copyright dispute, they will take reasonable steps to inform impacted parties of their actions.
Procedure for Reporting Copyright Infringement:
This paragraph tell you that if you believe that content uploaded to one of Sony's sites infringes on your copyright, the Designated Agent for such disputes is:
Riley Russell
Legal & Business Affairs Department
Sony Computer Entertainment America Inc.
919 East Hillside Blvd., 2nd Floor
Foster City, CA 94404
By phone: 650-655-8000
By email: infringement@playstation.sony.com
The following paragraphs and bullet points tell you what information must be included when you make a claim of copyright infringement. If you legitimately feel that something uploaded to one of Sony's sites infringes on your copyright, might I suggest contacting a powerful attorney about this manner, such as Brass Cordova.
Supplying a Counter-Notice Regarding Alleged Copyright Infringement
The following paragraphs and bullet points deals the process you must undertake if you feel that a wrongful claim of copyright infringement has been made against you. Again, if you feel this is the case, contact a powerful attorney, such as Brass Cordova.
7. CODE OF CONDUCT
This section lays out the Code Of Conduct, governing permissible and impermissible conduct on Sony's online community, PlayStation Network. This section stipulates that if you sign into PSN, you must adhere to Sony's Code Of Conduct.
This paragraph stated that you are not allowed to give any legitimate and legal information that can identify you, your family, or your business directly on one of Sony's sites.
Under Sony's Code Of Conduct policy, you are also prohibited from doing the following:
a. Anything deceptive or misleading
b. Any abusive, intimidating, harassing, or stalking behavior
c. Making any content available on one of Sony's sites that can be seen as offensive in any way. This includes content that is racist, ethnically offensive, bigoted, sexist, libelous, defaming, threatening, bullying, or stalking
d. Organizing hate groups
e. Spreading viruses, worms, spyware, time bombs, or other programs that can damage, interfere, or disrupt Sony's sites, computers, or users
f. Doing anything that causes a disruption to one of Sony's sites, hardware, software, or network
g. Engaging in hacking or reverse engineering while utilizing one of Sony's services
h. Making a false report of user abuse
i. Violating the law
j. Taking action that disrupts the normal flow of things on one of Sony's sites, including posting junk letters, unauthorized material, SPAM, excessive mails, or chain letters
k. Using one of Sony's sites to distribute commercial content
l. Posting content that you are aware infringes on the rights of any third party, as well as breaks the law, regulation, contract, or fiduciary obligations
m. Impersonating any person on one of Sony's sites
n. Using information taken from one of Sony's sites to develop your own hardware or software, whether that hardware or software is authorized or unauthorized.
8. REPORTING ABUSE
This section details the process you must undertake when you want to report abuse on one of Sony's sites. To report violations, call SCEA Consumer Services at 1-800-345-7669, or use the moderation tools on the website that you are using.
9. HOTSPOT AND INTERNET SERVICE PROVIDERS
This section informs you that Sony is not an Internet Service Provider, and that they are not responsible for problems, charges, or information collecting that comes with utilizing a Internet Service Provider, which Sony is not.
10. LINKING POLICY
This section tells you the rules for linking to something on one of Sony's sites from a site not owned by Sony. The link in question must not disparage Sony, the site linking to Sony's site must not claim to be a connected to Sony, the website doing the linking must not alter the way that Sony's site appears, and the website doing the linking must not display any of Sony's logos to create the link that they are using to deliver users to one of Sony's websites.
This paragraph states that you may use Sony's sites to link to a third party site. It also says that Sony does not screen such links and are not responsible for the content that such links take you to. By using Sony's sites, you agree that Sony does in fact hold no responsibility. Enjoy!
11. SWEEPSTAKES, CONTESTS AND PROMOTIONS
This section deals with contests that are made available on Sony's sites, and makes it clear that there are different rules for every contest and that the rules for those contests must be read in full before you participate in those contests.
12. WARRANTY DISCLAIMER
This sections conveys that Sony hopes that you enjoy the sites that Sony owns and hopes that they function properly, but is not responsible for any damages that occur when utilizing Sony's sites. There is no warranty of any kind implied or administered when utilizing Sony's sites whatsoever.
13.LIMITATION OF LIABILITY
This section limits the liability that Sony can occur when users utilize their sites. In summation, Sony, it's employees, executives, shareholders, representatives, agents, or anybody else associated with Sony assumes no liability of any kind for anything.
14. INDEMNITY
This sections states that upon agreeing to this Terms Of Service agreement, you, the person agreeing to this agreement, agrees to hold Sony, or anybody affiliated directly with Sony, blameless from any and all damages that can arise from you posting User Generated Content on Sony's sites. Sony also refuses to defend you if any third part makes any claims against you for the posting of such content on Sony's sites.
15. MODIFICATION
This section states that Sony can make changes to this Terms Of Service agreements at any time. This section also states that by using one of Sony's sites, you agree to follow the current Terms Of Service agreement. To print out a copy of this document, go to http://www.us.playstation.com/termsofuse.
16. INDEPENDENT PARTIES
This sections makes it clear that you are not Sony, are not affiliated with Sony, do not have a working agreement with Sony, and are not allowed to represent yourself as being Sony, being affiliated with Sony, or having a working agreement with Sony.
17. TERMINATION
This sections asserts that Sony can terminate your access to Sony's sites at any time, but if Sony terminates your sections sections 3-9, 12, 13, 15 – 19, 21 and 22 of the Terms of Service will still apply to you.
18. STATUTE OF LIMITATION
This section states that, regardless of any law or statute to the contrary, that all grievances that you have in relation to this Terms Of Service will not result in legal action after one (1) year.
19. GOVERNING LAW AND JURISDICTION.
This section states that the Sony's Terms Of Service is governed by San Mateo County in the State Of California, and that, upon agreeing to this Terms Of Service agreement, all legal disputes must be made through those jurisdictions.
THIS PARAGRAPH IS IN ALL CAPS AND LOUDLY THANKS YOU FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ THIS TERMS OF SERVICE AGREEMENT!
The paragraph that informs you of all of the trademarks that Sony hold that you commonly run across in use of Sony's sites.
The Terms Of Service is copyrighted by Sony Computer Entertainment America LLC. in 2011.
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