Welcome Back... Are You Okay?
It's Thursday morning at The Official Offices of The Redertainment Corporation Of America. Rodger Red, Julia Diana Bobbi, and Liz are busily working away when Hunter Red strolls into the offices. No one reacts to his presence, except for Julia.
Julia Diana Bobbi- Hunter! You're back in one piece.
Hunter is visibly disgusted by this statement by Julia, even as Julia is giving Hunter a hearty hug.
Hunter Red- Liz, what did you tell her?
Liz- That you were off the wagon.
Hunter Red- Yes, what else?
Julia Diana Bobbi- They tried to convince me that you were a lost cause.
Hunter Red- Fuck!
Hunter leaves the general office area and goes into his office. Julia follows him.
Julia Diana Bobbi- So, how was your trip?
Hunter Red- Great. I got a lot of work done in between going to shows and stuff.
Julia Diana Bobbi- You worked on your vacation?
Hunter Red- Sure. Why do you think Rodger isn't all over my ass about content?
Julia Diana Bobbi- Because you wrote that five part piece that we've been slowly rolling out on the website.
Hunter Red- The Reunion? Oh. Damn, I forgot about that.
Julia steps a little closer to Hunter's desk.
Julia Diana Bobbi- So, are you okay?
Hunter Red- Yeah. I got a little sunburnt walking to a strip club, but I get sunburnt anytime I walk outside.
Julia steps a little closer to Hunter's desk.
Julia Diana Bobbi- No, I mean, are you okay?
Hunter Red- Yeah. Why do you ask?
Julia Diana Bobbi- Because I'm concerned about you and your battle with alcoholism.
Hunter sighs audibly.
Hunter Red- Julia, I thank you for your concern. (Louder so that Liz and Rodger can hear)The God I don't believe in knows that no one else in this office does.
Liz- I just take the phone calls.
Rodger Red- Remember, your deadline is coming up.
Julia steps a little closer to Hunter's desk, to the point where she takes a seat on the corner of it.
Julia Diana Bobbi- Hunter-
Hunter Red- You're getting awfully close, Julia.
Julia Diana Bobbi- Oh, I'm sorry.
Hunter Red- I'm not. I don't know if I've told you this before, but you have a delectable butt.
Julia takes this compliment oddly.
Julia Diana Bobbi- Thanks. Anyway, Hunter, I'm concerned about you because I'm aware of the severe effects that alcohol can have on the-
Hunter Red- Do you know when I got back into town?
Julia Diana Bobbi- Yesterday?
Hunter Red- No, Tuesday. Do you know what I did with my extra day?
Julia Diana Bobbi- Cleared out your TiVo and drank?
Hunter Red- I visited my therapist.
Julia doesn't know how to react to this statement.
Julia Diana Bobbi- Okay.
Hunter Red- You see, I can't go to traditional AA, because of the heavy spiritual influence. Instead, the addiction therapist I went to for recovery advised that I go to a clinical psychologist on a regular basis and whenever I slip up.
Julia Diana Bobbi- So you and your therapist talked it out and your back on the road to recovery?
Hunter Red- Yep.
Julia is made jubilant by this affirmation.
Julia Diana Bobbi- Excellent!
Julia hops off Hunter's desk and gives him a hug. Hunter doesn't know what to make of this, but enjoys it regardless.
Julia Diana Bobbi- It's good to see you are dedicated to your recovery.
Hunter Red- It's good to see your butt from this angle.
Julia breaks the hug and makes her way to Hunter's office door.
Julia Diana Bobbi- Hunter, if you ever need to talk about anything, my office is right over there.
Hunter Red- Okay. Thank you.
Hunter is sincere when he thanks Julia. As Julia makes her way toward her office, Hunter says-
Hunter Red- You know, I wasn't kidding about what I said about your butt.
Julia Diana Bobbi- I know, but you, nor anybody else for that manner, will get their hands on my butt untill the night I get married.
Julia continues on her travel to her office and goes out of sight of Hunter's gaze. When she does so, Hunter digs around in his desk, pulls out an old bottle of Grey Goose, opens it and says-
Hunter Red- To that lucky, lucky, lucky man. It won't be me, but I hope that guy knows the kind of woman he's managed to snag.
Hunter takes a swig from his Grey Goose bottle then puts it back in it's drawer.
END SCENE
London Rioting
Not being in London during the riots, nor trusting of media reports about them, I can only image what they are like. I imagine they are like this.
Lessons In Language And Communications And Talking To People
Hello. We here at The Redertainment Corporation Of America are proud to bring you these lessons in how to communicate with people in foreign lands that are not America. The following is a series of common Italian phrases that are useful if you go to Italy or other places where the Italian language is prevalent, such as Italy.
Hello.
Ciao.
How are you?
Come stai?
I am well, thank you for asking.
Sto bene, vi ringrazio per avermelo chiesto.
Excuse me, can I have some beer, please?
Mi scusi, posso avere qualche birra, per favore?
Do you have any locally brewed varieties of beer?
Avete qualche varietà di birra prodotta a livello locale?
My, that is large glass.
Il mio, che è il vetro di grandi dimensioni.
Can I have another?
Posso avere un altro?
Can I have another?
Posso avere un altro?
Can I have another?
Posso avere un altro?
Would you, perchance, know where I could pick up a prostitute?
Volete, forse, sapere dove potrei prendere una prostituta?
No, I was not saying your sister is a prostitute.
No, non stavo dicendo a tua sorella è una prostituta.
Boy, that is a shiny knife you have.
Ragazzo, che è un coltello lucido che avete.
Ouch!
Ohi!
No, that is not tomato sauce.
No, non è salsa di pomodoro.
Ouch!
Ohi!
Would you mind not stabbing me again?
Ti dispiacerebbe non mi accoltellamento di nuovo?
Ouch!
Ohi!
Yes, I would like to go to the hospital.
Sì, vorrei andare in ospedale.
What do you mean I have to settle my bill first?
Cosa vuol dire che devo saldare il conto prima?
Why is it suddenly getting dark?
Perché è improvvisamente buio?
Oh no.
Ah no.
Thud.
Tonfo.
Join us for our next Lessons In Language And Communications And Talking To People when we will be featuring Japanese. Here is a sample:
Look, vending machines!
Jidō hanbai-ki, mite!
Ew, vending machines.
EW, jidō hanbai-ki.
No comments:
Post a Comment