Best Of The Decade Awards

Do you remember last year anyone saying to you, "The decade doesn't start this year, it starts in 2011"? Do you remember those same people saying that they'll put together their own "Best Games Of The Last Decade List" at the beginning of 2011? Have you run into anyone that has gone through with this promise? Now you have.

This is the Best Of The Decade awards, honoring the best video games that were released in the previous decade. Five games were selected as nominees from each year of the decade, 2001-2010, and of those five one was selected as the best video game of the year. Of the ten games selected as the best video game of the year, one will be selected to be the Best Video Game Of The Decade.

So, let's get started.



2001: Nominees- Final Fantasy X, Halo: Combat Evolved, Ico, Twisted Metal: Black, Paper Mario

We at the Redertainment Corporation Of America thought this would be an easy thing to put together. Then we looked at this year. Now we know what kind of challenge we signed up for. Even the games that weren't nominated (Gran Turismo 3, Grand Theft Auto III, Black & White) are games that continue to resonate and influence the current video game landscape.

However, we have to choose one. Hell, we said we were going to, so we have to. The best video game of 2001 is:

Ico. Yes, Ico. I know there are people gnashing their teeth and saying "HALO!!!" or "FINAL FANTASY X!!!" or, "THAT ONE GAME WITH PAINT IT (BLACK) IN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", but we had to make a decision, and we chose what we felt was the best. Final Fantasy X may have brought voice acting to the Final Fantasy series, Halo may have been a legendary launch title for the Xbox, Twisted Metal: Black may have been the game that revitalized (for a short time) the Twisted Metal franchise, and Paper Mario may have brought Mario games into another dimension, but Ico is what we deemed to be the best. Ico is one of those iconic games, memorable games, one of those games that you keep long after you have beaten it, and is one of those games that you play over and over and over. For the lucky few that have been able to find it, Ico provides a gaming experience that is memorable, unique, and, most importantly of all, GOOD.



2002: Nominees- The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowwind, Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, The Legend Of Zelda: The Windwaker, SOCOM: US Navy Seals, Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell

Have you ever seen Scarface? Well, even if you haven't, I bet you're aware of this:

Yep, that is the iconic scene from Scarface. Tony Montana sticking his face into a mountain of cocaine and then facing a group of heavily armed men. Scarface is a movie that, even if you haven't seen it, you are aware of it. Grand Theft Auto: Vice City is widely believed to be hazily inspired by Scarface. Hell, this game even has a final penultimate scene where you're character, Tommy Vercetti, faces off against his own group of heavily armed men, except this time you survive, instead of dying like a bitch.

The best video game of 2002 is Grand Theft Auto: Vice City.



2003: Nominees- F-Zero GX, Final Fantasy X-2, Silent Hill 3, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, Xenosaga Episode I: Der Wille zur Macht

Most people bought an Xbox to play Halo. Not me. I bought an Xbox to play one game: Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. I have not regretted my purchase, either of the system or the game. KotOR is the game that got me sincerely interested in Western style role playing games. Final Fantasy X-2 and Xenosaga Episode I may be really gripping RPG experiences, but Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic is a truly unforgettable gaming experience.

The best video game of 2003 is Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic



2004: Nominees- Fable, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, Metal Gear Solid: Snake Eater, Ninja Gaiden, World Of Warcraft

Of the games that were released in 2004, one stands taller in comparison to everyone else. This game revolutionized the way the general public thinks of online video games. This game continues to be played to this day. This game made Bobby Kotick the man he is today, which may ultimately be to it's detriment. Anyway, the best video game of 2004 is:

World Of Warcraft



2005: Nominees- God of War, The Legend Of Zelda: The Minish Cap, Oddworld: Stranger's Wrath, Psychonauts, Resident Evil 4

There are games that are acclaimed by critics and gamers alike that go on to sell like gangbusters. These games go on to have sequels made of them, again and again and again and again, untill all the wonder and magic is sucked dry from them and all you have left is a rotting rusk containing the memories of a past you look through with rose coloured glasses. Psychonauts is not one of those games. Psychonauts is a age that was acclaimed by critics then was largely ignored by the gaming public. Bastards. I know the fate that I laid out in the first part of this paragraph may seem like something to be avoided at all cost, but Psychonauts deserved the that fate as opposed to the fate it currently has. Please, if you see Psychonauts on sale, ANYWHERE, pick it up and PLAY IT!!!

The best video game of the year for 2005 is:

Psychonauts



2006: Nominees- Call Of Duty 3, The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, Final Fantasy XII, Half-Life 2: Episode 1, The Legend Of Zelda: Twilight Princess

Some would argue that this game should have come out on the Playstation 3. Some would argue that this game is one of the final great Playstation 2 titles to come out during that console's lifespan. Some might argue that this game is the last great title to come out of this series. Arguments aside, there is one thing that is not in dispute: Final Fantasy XII is a great game. Between the beautiful imagery, the unique gameplay mechanics, and the top rate story, Final Fantasy XII proved itself a successor to games like Final Fantasy VII, X, and VIII. The best video game of the year for 2006 is:

Final Fantasy XII



2007: Nominees- Call Of Duty 4: Modern Warfare, Crysis, God Of War II, Mass Effect, The Orange Box

The Half-Life franchise is one of the most acclaimed franchises in video games. For years people have been pining for more content from Valve in relation to this series, and continue to do so to this day. Team Fortress is an online game that, although better on the PC, continues to have a presence online within it's community. However, the game from The Orange Box that stands as the best in this collection is Portal. Alone this game constitutes one of the best games on the Xbox 360. Portal is unique in that, rather than being a first person shooter, this game is more of a first person puzzle game. Portal is as much a mental exercise as Professor Layton or Brain Age is. If Portal was a standalone release, it would be the game of the year. Combined with the other games in The Orange Box, this may be a serious contender for game of the decade. The best video game for 2007 is:

The Orange Box



2008: Nominees- Dead Space, Fallout 3, Grand Theft Auto IV, Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns Of The Patriots, Mirror's Edge

Dead Space is a unique survival horror experience, the likes of which haven't been seen since the original Silent Hill. Fallout 3 is a gripping role playing experience that introduced many gamers to a much acclaimed PC franchise. Grand Theft Auto IV is a triumph of story telling and gameplay. Mirror's Edge is the kind of game that many people have not seen before or since. All of these games have superb qualities to them, however Metal Gear Solid 4 is the one with many of these qualities and more. Metal Gear Solid 4 has top notch visuals, both in the cinematics and in the gameplay sections. Metal Gear Solid has a superb story, dealing with war, genetic engineering, and even hints of romance. The Metal Gear series has long been unique in favoring a game playing style that rewards avoiding confrontation, rather than running head on into a situation. Metal Gear Solid 4 exemplifies that manta. Metal Gear Solid 4 also has the unique distinction of being, in my opinion, the first great game released on the Playstation 3. The best video game of 2008 is:

Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns Of The Patriots.



2009: Nominees- Assassin's Creed II, Batman: Arkham Asylum, Flower, Prototype, Uncharted 2: Among Thieves

At the Second Annual Four Star Gaming Awards, Uncharted 2: Among Thieves was chosen as the best video game of the year. So, it may come as a shock that we've decided to go another way with this year's choice. This is because, due to the glut of games released near the end of the year, our choice was a game we had failed to play in an expedient manner. Assassin's Creed was a game that received mixed reviews. People complained about the combat, the free running, the twist in the story, basically nit picked at every part of this game. Assassin's Creed II addressed all of these concerns. AC2 is the game that brought many people to this franchise. Assassin's Creed II brought a true freedom of movement that has been tried before but never accomplished to the level seen in this game. The best video game of 2009 is:

Assassin's Creed II



2010: Nominees- Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood, Heavy Rain, Kirby's Epic Yarn, Mass Effect 2, Red Dead Redemption

The winner in this category should come as no shock to anyone who read last week The Four Star Gaming Awards. Our opinion of this game, as well as other games, has not changed in the week between this award show and the award show we did last week. While our opinion may change in the future, as was the case with Assassin's Creed II, our opinion for the best video game of last year still stands. The best video game of 2010 is:

Heavy Rain



Best Of The Decade: Nominees- Assassin's Creed II, Final Fantasy XII, Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, Heavy Rain, Ico, Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns Of The Patriots, The Orange Box, Psychonauts, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, World Of Warcraft

Of the games listed here, one sticks out. The rest of the games in this list have one things in common: They are primarily console based games. One of the games listed above is a PC game. Always have been and, as near as we can tell, always will be. This is the game that changed the way people think of online video games. This is the game that, despite the ever changing landscape of video games, continues to be played to this day. This is World Of Warcraft. Even people who have not played this game cannot deny just how good this game is. There is a reason why this game has the loyal following it continues to have. The Best Video Game Of The Decade is:

World Of Warcraft

When reached for a comment about this award, President of The Great Empire Of Activision, Bobby Kotick, sent the following statement:

It does not surprise me that we have won this award. The might and majesty of World Of Warcraft is something that cannot be denied by any rational person. World Of Warcraft, and the many subscribers it continues to have, made The Great Empire Of Activision what is it is today, and will continue to be for time and all eternity. I thank The Redertainment Corporation Of America for recognizing our greatness, and look forward to others recognizing the greatness of The Great Empire Of Activision, in all things and in all ways. Quote the Kotick, nevermore.



Well, that's all for the Best Of The Decade Awards. We at The Redertainment Corporation Of America look forward to seeing you at our next scheduled award show: The Fourth Annual Four Star Gaming Awards, scheduled to be held on January 2nd, 2012. Goodnight everybody.

Making The Handicapped Feel Bad While Stealthly Swearing

The Red Interview- Tony Hayward

Hunter Red and Tony Hayward are sitting in chairs on a stage in front of a live audience.

Good evening and welcome to The Red Interview. I am your host Hunter Red. With me tonight is Tony Hayward. Mr. Hayward is the current CEO of BP and was the public face of his company immediately after Deep Water Horizon explosion and the subsequent oil disaster. Mr Hayward-

The audience immediately erupts in loud boos. Hunter tries to speak over the audience.

Mister Hayward, it is very nice to-

The boos from the audience gets louder. The audience even starts to throw small trash and coins onto the stage. Hunter, again, tries to speak over the audience.

Mister Hayward-

The boos get even louder. Tony Hayward gets up out of his chair, looks at the audience, and says-

Will you gutter swine shut the fuck up!

The audience is shocked into silence. For a moment. When the audience begins to boo again, the begin to throw larger pieces of trash and even more coins, nailing Mr. Hayward squarely in the head. Over the din of the audience, Hunter tries to finish the show.

Well, that's all for The Red Interview tonight. I'm getting the fuck out of here.



Splinter Cell: Conviction Review

Among the games that I have played in the current generation of video games,two of favorites are Metal Gear Solid 4 and Assassin's Creed 2. These are two games that can be categorized as among the elites in the stealth action genre.

Among my favorite things about Metal Gear Solid 4 is the fact that you really don't have to kill anyone. You can spend the entire game crawling along, slowly and methodically tackling every level, boss, and enemy without killing a single person. It's very hard to do so, but accomplishing this is a true testament of your skill.

My favorite part of Assassin's Creed 2 is the free running elements. You can climb, swing, run, stalk, jump, and perch on nearly every part of every building in that game. I found it truly liberating to be able to put Enzio on nearly part of a game level if I just put the effort into it.

The ability to not kill anyone and the ability to go anywhere is something I hoped would be recreated in Splinter Cell: Conviction. It wasn't. Not at all. Throughout most of Splinter Cell: Conviction I had to kill at least one person to progress in a level, and in some cases I had to kill everyone. It's not that I hate violence, I hate unnecessary violence. The level design was even more disappointing. Being able to take cover is nice, if only I could take cover on top of a building. Being able to see all my enemies with sonar is nice, being able to see them all with my naked eye is better.

Splinter Cell: Conviction is a good enough game, the best that I've played of the series, but I was expecting something more. I wanted a stealth game with action undertones. What I got was an action game with stealth undertones.

Splinter Cell: Conviction: C+



Dance Masters First Impressions

Robin Anderson is sitting at Hunter Red's desk in his office watching Hunter play a new video game. It's Dance Masters, a game utilizing Microsoft's Kinect that forces gamers to get up off the couch and perform dance moves to advance in the game. Hunter is playing the game, performing the prerequisite dance moves, when the level he's playing ends and he takes a rest. Robin starts applauding and says-

Robin- Very nice my good man.
Hunter- (Nearly out of breath) You think so?
Robin- Absolutely. What woman doesn't like to see her man bust a move on a totally not real dance floor?
Hunter- (Slightly less out of breath) Well, it's good to know I impress you. Plus, I've lost like thirty pounds playing this game, so there's a double benefit.
Robin- You know who'd probably like this game? My intern Eric. (Out to the general office area) Eric! Come in here and play this game with us.
After a while Eric enters Hunter's office. Eric is in a wheelchair.
Eric- What game is it?
Robin- It's Dance Masters, an upcoming dance game by Konami.
Eric- A dance game?
Robin- Yep.
Eric- Will I have to move my legs to play this game?
Robin- Probably.
Hunter- Robin, Eric is in a wheelchair.
Robin- I know that.
Hunter- How is Eric going to play a game that requires him to move his legs when he can't move his legs?
Robin is puzzled by this question, as is Hunter and Eric. The three go into a state of contemplation, trying to come up with an answer to that question.



MC Lars- Twenty-Three




The Black Robin Christmas Carol

The Black Robin Christmas Carol is coming November 1st. Did you know cigarette lighters were invented before matches?

****- The Sexiest Interviewer In The Italian Senate

Assassin’s Creed 2 Review

There are two games that were released last year that many people said were very similar but I have different overall opinions of. Those games are Prototype and Infamous. My opinions of these games seem to hinge on one thing: Getting from point to point in the cities these games take place in.

I love getting around in Prototype. Running around on the city streets for miles and miles without stopping, plowing through huge groups of people like they were a stack of cardboard boxes, and scaling the side of giant skyscrapers with relative ease all add to the overall freedom of movement in this game. However my favorite part of getting around in this game is the drifting. Jumping off the top of the skyscraper and gliding through the air over several city blocks appeals to me on a basic level. There are times while I was playing Prototype where I wasn’t doing anything in particular, just drifting around this obvious copy of New York City.

I had nearly the exact opposite experience getting around the city while playing Infamous. First of all, you can’t run very fast in this game, so running down the city streets is rather tedious. You’re better off going the direct way, which involves scaling buildings. Not running head on up the side of a building like I was a Jamaican sprinter, but having to find foot holds and hand holds on ledges, masonry, access ladders, and flag poles to drive yourself upward and onward. This isn’t a bad thing, in fact having to find your way like this when faced with time constraints and certain death can be a refreshing challenge.

The problem comes with the henchmen that are sent after you. On every rooftop, every billboard, every outdoor garden in this city sit these enemies in red hoods. Most henchmen in video games aren’t that much of a threat and neither are these except for one thing. These henchmen are brilliant skillshots. It doesn’t matter if you’re three feet away, or three buildings away, if these henchmen spot you they will shoot you, and they will always hit you. These henchmen ruined Infamous for me. Whenever I wasn’t actively playing out a mission, these henchmen would pop up and slowly drain my health away. There came a point where I could choose to either meticulously go through this city and eliminate these henchmen or just endure them and neither option really appealed to me.

Assassin’s Creed 2 has the same kind of building climbing mechanic that Infamous has but also incorporate something Prototype has: freedom. Yes there are henchmen in AC2 but most henchmen stay on the ground and are rather easy to elude if you go vertical. Even the rooftops henchmen you do encounter are easily dispatched. While you can’t fly over several city blocks like you can in Prototype, you can scale up beautifully recreated pieces of Italian architecture that evoke a similar response in another part of the brain.

The free running mechanic is what Assassin’s Creed 2 is built on and this mechanic is pulled off masterfully. I do wish the fighting mechanic was a bit more polished, but perhaps that is something Ubisoft will work on for AC3.

Assassin’s Creed 2: B+



Hunter Red For Senate In 2030

Hunter Red is sitting in his office working on Project Carole when his phone starts to ring. Hunter picks up the phone and says-
Hunter- Hello.
Voice On Phone- He Hunter, this is Crystal Motoko from SLCMetropolitan. Do you remember meeting me at the charity dinner for the Kinneas Medical Institute?
H- The only person I remember meeting at that dinner is the bartender. The rest of the night is a blur.
Crystal- Well, I’m calling in regards to our Sexiest Man in Salt Lake issue.
H- Do you want me to write up a piece for it?
C- No. We took a poll in our office and you were found to be the sexiest man in Salt Lake.
There is a short pause.
H- Did Robin put you up to this?
C- Who?
H- Robin, my girlfriend.
C- You have a girlfriend?
H- Yes, I talk about her on my blog.
C- You have a blog?
There is a short pause.
H- So, SLCMetropolitan is seriously going to name me the sexiest man in Salt Lake.
C- Yes.
H- Because your staff believe I am the sexiest man in Salt Lake.
C- No.
H- So why are you giving me this title?
C- We want to start grooming you.
There is a short pause.
H- Like a monkey?
C- (Laughs lightly) Oh goodness no. We want to start preparing you for political office.
H- What, Satirist is Chef?
C- No, senate.
H- The Utah State Senate?
C- No, the US Senate. We think you would be ideal to replace Orrin Hatch when he retires in 2030.
H- You think he’s going to live that long?
C- With the advances pioneered by the Kinneas Medical Institute, yes. So, you up for revealing your hot body to the women of the world?
H- I don’t think you’re up for it.
C- Why?
Hunter places his hand over the phone and says-
H- Robin.
Robin- (At her desk outside in the common area of the R.C.O.A. office) Yes?
H- Do you have those nude photos of me you took.
R- Yes I do.
H- Do you have Crystal Motoko’s email address?
R- Yeah, why do you ask?
H- Could you send a nude photo of me to Crystal. I’m on the phone with her about SLCMetropolitan’s Sexiest Man in Salt Lake issue.
There is a short pause.
R- Do you want me to sent the one that does or does not show your junk?
H- Not.
R- Okay, I’m doing that now.
Hunter takes his hand off his phone and starts talking to Crystal again.
H- Okay, Crystal should be sending you a nude photo of myself now.
C- Okay, let me go check and see- Ah there it is.
There is a short pause as Crystal reads the email.
C- (In an obviously shocked tone) Oh. Oh dear. That’s not- I mean- That’s simply- (Dry heaving noise) Get it away!
A dial tone is heard signifying that Crystal has hung up the phone.
H- That’s what I thought her reaction would be.
Hunter goes back to work. He picks the newspaper and says-
H- Looks like Scott Brown has done good for himself.

END SCENE




Patrick Klepek = Chris Wallace?

People have been critical of Fox News’s interview style. People have said it’s too conciliatory, not in any way aggressive, and generally kind of suckupish. There are people who will argue that this journalism style is contained to Fox News and does not occur in any other media source. I submit this video as evidence to the contrary.

PC Games - E3 2010 - James Cameron's Avatar: The Game

Red Tweets About Team Conan

Conan went out like the true class act that he is. It takes a truly strong man to not be bitter in his situation. #TeamConan Sat, Jan 23, 0005

I don't believe in saying goodbye, so I'll say see you later Conan. Be it September, 2011, or whenever, definately see you later. #TeamConan Sat, Jan 23, 0006

Also, hello Letterman. #TeamLetterman Sat, Jan 23, 0006