I Know They're Watching, And I Like It

Top-Secret Document Reveals NSA Spied On Porn Habits As Part Of Plan To Discredit 'Radicalizers'

According to an article on The Huffington Post, the NSA is gathering information about the porn habits of so called "radicalizers", and, given the tactics the NSA is reported to use, it can be safely assumed that the NSA is gathering information about the porn habits of everybody.  So the NSA knows the porn habits of everybody, including me.  So the NSA knows what porn I am watching.

I have mixed emotions about this.  While I feel that this is an invasion of my privacy and that my porn habits are of no one's business unless I am doing something illegal, I also feel a little bit of a kinky twinge.  Someone is looking at me when no one is supposed to be looking at me.  I am doing dirty things while someone is surreptitiously watching me.  That's like exhibitionism taken to a whole new level.

So, thank you NSA for giving me another source of sexual thrill.  Now, kindly, get the fuck out of my business.  Call me when you actually find out information that can help people, like where a missing person is or who the fuck moved my goddamn cheese.

Xbox: Play Pornography

Recently Microsoft released a list of the commands that users can utilize while using their new Xbox One Kinect.  When they released this list, two questions came to the minds of many gamers.  One: Why isn't this list included on a card with the Xbox One so that you can know what you can and cannot command your Xbox One to do?  Two: Where are the porn commands?

Where is the list of commands that allow users to watch an unlimited supply of pornography with their Xbox One?  Where is it?  Do I have to reference a specific cable channel that I receive that may or may not have pornography on it, depending on the time of day?  Do I have to say the title of a specific video that is in my collection in order for my Xbox One to play it?  Does Xbox One recognize the names of the videos that I have in my collection, and does that mean that I should have a variance in the names of the pornographic videos in my collection, as opposed to "Brunette1", "Brunette2", "BlondeBigTits", etc.?  Sure I already can watch pornography on my couch by using my iPad, iPhone, iPod Touch, Xbox 360, PS4, PS3, PS2, Xbox, Media PC, Laptop, and other various devices that I currently own, but I also want to use my Xbox One to watch pornography.  I mean, they call it the XBONE for a reason, right?

XBONE: Because the internet is for porn.

Rick Reilley Puts It Better Than I Can

Guilty Pleasure

After watching the video linked above, I am having second thoughts about my fandom for the UFC.

Different Activities For John Carmack

On Friday, IGN reported on John Carmack's departure from id Software.  While acknowledging his role as Chief Technology Officer with Oculus, IGN did not report that Mr. Carmack would be going full-time with this job.  This is despite Electronic Gaming Monthly, Rock Paper Shotgun, Gamesbeat, Ars Technica, and Games Industry International reporting exactly that.  So, if you follow only IGN, John Carmack now has a lot of free time on his hands with nothing to do.  Here are some things John Carmack could do with his newly discovered free time.

Construct a large Christmas light display at his house

Write a book

Delicately making a small sculpture

Cleaning his house

Organizing his important documents

Macrame

And, possibly, defeating the video game Rage.