For the past two months I've been having to get up early to do shit for people things that are their responsibility to do. This is something that I can do nothing about, say nothing about, and will continue to go on untill the people with some real influence over this situation finally does something about it. Unfortunately since these people are seemingly allergic to the doing of things, it is my honest belief that I will have to continue to get up early to do shit for people things that are their responsibility to do untill time ends.
This situation has made Project Buy A House even more of a priority for me. I don't want to buy a Playstation 4, I don't want to buy a Wii U, I don't want to buy a new iPad, I don't want to get new underwear even though I am in need of new underwear, I WANT TO BUY A FUCKING HOUSE BECAUSE WHEN I BUY A FUCKING HOUSE I CAN FINALLY BE IN COMPLETE CONTROL OF WHEN I FALL ASLEEP AND WHEN I WAKE UP! Over Twenty Bank ATMs Were Lately Blown Up In Russia To Get Cash
Huh. You know, I'm about five thousand dollars away from at long last amassing enough money for a downpayment for a house. Hmmmmmmmmmm. Interesting.
A couple of days ago I had my taxes done and found out just how much the federal government loves me. I'm not going to say specifically what my federal tax return is, but it is more than what my usual paycheck is. Since I found out how much the federal government loves me, I've been thinking of ways to spend my tax return.
I've contemplated buying a new iPad. The only reason I have to buy a new iPad is that they now sell one with a storage capacity of 128 GB. While I could spend my new found money on something completely frivolous, I don't want to go to that extreme.
A couple years ago I took a vacation to Las Vegas. I didn't do anything really substantive, other than see a couple of shows and bet on the Red Sox. I could go take another vacation, but, if I'm going to go on a vacation I'd rather go to Los Angeles and see Conan.
Oh yeah, that Project Buy A House thing. Yeah, I guess I should be continuing to be a responsible adult and continue on my epically long quest to buy my own home. I guess I should continue to go after what has been a long held goal of mine, because that's what real adults do. After all, what other adult thing can I go after that will give me a level of satisfaction that only adults can understand.
Recently Microsoft released a list of the commands that users can utilize while using their new Xbox One Kinect. When they released this list, two questions came to the minds of many gamers. One: Why isn't this list included on a card with the Xbox One so that you can know what you can and cannot command your Xbox One to do? Two: Where are the porn commands?
Where is the list of commands that allow users to watch an unlimited supply of pornography with their Xbox One? Where is it? Do I have to reference a specific cable channel that I receive that may or may not have pornography on it, depending on the time of day? Do I have to say the title of a specific video that is in my collection in order for my Xbox One to play it? Does Xbox One recognize the names of the videos that I have in my collection, and does that mean that I should have a variance in the names of the pornographic videos in my collection, as opposed to "Brunette1", "Brunette2", "BlondeBigTits", etc.? Sure I already can watch pornography on my couch by using my iPad, iPhone, iPod Touch, Xbox 360, PS4, PS3, PS2, Xbox, Media PC, Laptop, and other various devices that I currently own, but I also want to use my Xbox One to watch pornography. I mean, they call it the XBONE for a reason, right?
Writing up my blog post should be interesting given the fact that I'm so used to typing things up on a regular keyboard. It's not that I don't like the touch keyboard on the iPad, hell, I like the keyboard on the iPod Touch. I just wish I could type by way of feeling the keyboard, like I do at work. I don't think I've taken my eyes off the keyboard once while I am typing out this thought. At least the speaker on the iPad is really nice. Listening to Amanda Palmer's Ampersand makes me feel oddly at ease while typing out my thoughts.
The Red Interview: Beck Hunter Red is sitting alone on a dimly lit raised platform with two chairs on it with an iPad in his hand. An overblown light display is triggered ending with the spotlight being shown on Hunter Red. Hunter- Good evening and welcome to The Red Interview. I am your host Hunter Red. Without much further ado, let's bring out my guest. Tonight my guest is Beck. A spotlight is shown on the right side of the stage, and Glenn Beck enters it and walks out to the raised platform and fills the other chair on the stage. Hunter Red has a disgusted look on his face as Glenn Beck makes his entrance. Glenn Beck- Hello Hunter. Thanks for having me here tonight. Hunter Red still has a disgusted look on his face. Hunter- Yeah, I'll be back. Hunter Red gets out of his chair and walks off stage carrying his iPad. The camera follows him backstage as he walks up to and begins to talk to the show's producer. Hunter- Chris? Chris- Yes? H- What the hell is he doing here? C- What? H- Glenn Beck is my guest tonight? C- Yes, yes he is. Do you have a problem with that? H- Yes! C- Why, because he's a conservative and you're a bleeding heart liberal? H- No. C- Then what is it? H- I asked you to book Beck. C- Yes, and I did that for you. H- I didn't mean Glenn Beck. C- Yes you did. H- No I didn't! C- You told me, at the start of the new season, I want you to book me Beck. You said that you loved his work and have always wanted to get inside his pants. H- I said I wanted to get inside his head. C- Whatever. H- And by "he" I didn't mean him! C- I don't follow. H- I didn't want you to book Glenn Beck as a guest on The Red Interview, I wanted you to book Beck. C- I DID! H- Not that Beck, the musician Beck. C- I don't follow. Hunter turns on his iPad, finds the embedded video below, and plays it for Chris.
Hunter- This is the Beck I wanted you to book. The musician Beck Hansen. Chris- I'm unfamiliar with this kind of music? Is this the music you listen to when you're high? Hunter gets visibly frustrated. Hunter-Jeff Beck would have been a more fitting choice than Glenn Beck. Chris- Who? Hunter turns off his iPad, rears back, and hits Chris with his iPad. The camera follows Hunter as he walks back to the raised platform and sits back in his chair. Hunter- Well, I'm sorry Mr. Beck, I'm sorry to have wasted your time here today. Glenn- What do you mean? H- I didn't want to book you as a guest, I wanted to book the musician Beck as a guest. G- Jeff Beck? That guy's music is great. I'm looking forward to seeing him on tour with Eric Clapton soon. H- Yeah, so am I. Wanna play with my iPad? G- Sure. Hunter Red hands Glenn Beck his iPad. Hunter- Well, that's all the time we have for The Red Interview for tonight. I am Hunter Red telling my producer Chris that his ass is fired. The overblown light display is triggered. As the overblown light display turn the raised platform from a lighted one to a dimly light one, Glenn Beck is seen darting off the platform with Hunter's iPad in his hand. Hunter runs after Glenn as the scene ends.
END SCENE
Playing With My iPad's Keyboard
So I bought a keyboard for my iPad and am liking this setup much better than using the touch keyboard. I could see myself quickly typing something, like a blog post, up by quickly turning on my iPad, hooking up the keyboard, and typing away. I don't like how I have to take my iPad out of the case I bought when I bought my new toy to use this keyboard, but that can be addressed by buying another, and probably, better case. Yes, I'm spending money like it's falling from the sky, which is apropos because it's raining right now.
John Mayer In Concert
This summer, a modern day guitar marvel is coming to a town near you. This summer, a sultry ladies man is coming to a town near you. This summer John Mayer is coming to a town near you. John Mayer in concert. John Mayer's 2010 Summer Tour is brought to you by Touche brand douche products. When you want the best douche in the world, think only of Touche.
Pages on iPad I bought this app on iTunes that I fooled around with in the Apple Store. It's called Pages and it's supposed to be like a real word processor. It works pretty good. I mean it's no Word but it's something. At the very least I can actually see how long my blog post will be now.
I just found out I can add pictures and graphs easily to this document. Now I can share my porn and how much I spend on porn with you! YAY!!!
Consistent Inconsistency Like many of you, I was offended by Comedy Central's action's regarding South Park's Episode 201. My offense is not driven by me thinking the Muslim prophet Muhammad is worthy of ridicule, my offense is driven by the inconsistent actions of Comedy Central. If South Park is not allowed to show Muhammad in a less than positive light, why are they allowed to show a Hindu god doing cocaine? If South Park is not allowed to do things that offend followers of a religion on a basic level, why was South Park allowed to criticize the translation of The Book of Mormon? If South Park is not allowed to depict situations despite threats from religions of repercussions from depicting those things, why was South Park allowed to depict Stan Marsh as the leader of the Church Of Scientology? If Comedy Central allows South Park to depict other religions in ways that those religions might find offensive, why draw the line at the Muslim faith? And don't just say it's because they are afraid that Muslims will blow up Comedy Central and South Park Studios. That is petty, stupid, and quite racist. I learned that lesson when I sounded off about Media Molecule altering Little Big Planet just before it was released.
Red Has Found Religion… Again In the past, I have asserted my atheistic beliefs when many different arguments arose. These include the existence of ghosts, the source of luck, and the sexual orientation of mountain goats. However, as of April 14th, I can assert my atheistic beliefs no longer. This is because I no longer hold those beliefs. I have discovered a new faith, one which I wholeheartedly believe in. What is this faith? I’ll deal with that question later, but first the reason for my epiphany. The Church of Scientology teaches us that the source of all religious belief is Phaetons. Phaetons are enemies of the merciless dictator Xenu who were frozen, dropped into volcanoes on Earth, and exploded into minute particles that infect the minds of the humans on Earth. Not all Phaetons were released in the initial explosions. In fact, Phaetons are released every time a volcano erupts, allowing more Phaetons to infect the minds of humans, new religious beliefs emerge. This explains the emergence of The Church Of Latter Day Saints, Lutherans, Protestantism, and The Cult Of Palin. On April 14th, Mt. Eyjafjallajökull began erupting, releasing huge plumes of volcano ash over the continent of Europe and a small amount of Phaetons worldwide. This resulted in many persons who previously uninfected to become infected with Phaetons. One of them is me. I have accepted a new religion into my life, the Davidcan faith. What is Davidcanism? Glad you asked. This is David Vaughn Wolf. David is God’s chosen emissary on Earth. David is the one true prophet and he loves us all and aspired to be with us all. David has bestowed upon me the honor of telling the world of his glory, and I am more than willing to do so. David has bestowed upon me many gifts, and not just the gift of his seed. It was David who said unto me, “Go get me a beer, ginger.” Verily I did get David that beer, and that beer was good, so the great prophet David said unto me. David had done many great things in this world. David is the one who cured cancer. David is the one who discovered Delaware. David is the one who created the Swiffer. Finally, David is the one who has won the World Wrestling Entertainment Title an unprecedented twenty-five times. David Vaughn Wolf’s glory and majesty is unquestionable, and yet people persist is questioning the unquestionable. Such questioning of the unquestionable glory and majesty of the one unquestionable true prophet David Vaughn Wolf ceases upon meeting the one unquestionable true prophet, like I have unquestionable have. Soon a mechanism will be established for you to question the one unquestionable true prophet, just as soon as we pay the guy who’s making our website. Soon all people will be able to bathe in the glory that is David Vaughn Wolf just as I have, and also bathe in his seed. For it is not until David truly becomes a part of your very being that you truly feels what it’s like to be whole, to be fulfilled, and to have wholly fulfillment. David be with you.
Red Joins Another Cult So I bought an iPad on Thursday. I'm going to try out type out my blog for next week on my iPad and see if it'll work well. Who knows, I might start working Project Carole on my new toy. That or watch the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy on it.
TGAPBTGEA? This week some massive banking revenue amounts were revealed. Goldman Sachs was revealed to have made $3.46 Billion in just the first quarter of 2010 alone. Wells Fargo was revealed to have made $2.5 Billion in the first quarter of 2010. There has been much knashing, wailing, bitching, and moaning about this news. One person said of this story, "They made that much money? How can we get a piece of that action?". That person was the President of Activision, Bobby Kotick. In the wake of the news involving Goldman Sachs and Wells Fargo, The Great Empire Of Activision has been positioning itself to enter the banking industry. The legality of such a move is in question, but The Great Empire Of Activision is an American corporation, and laws are an irrelevant concept to American corporations. In a secret memo unearthed by the people at Unearthingsecretmemos.com, Bobby Kotick is quoted as saying, "The massive revenues of Goldman Sachs and Wells Fargo are an affront to The Great Empire Of Activision. Such an affront must be stopped and The Great Empire Of Activisionis the only entity in a position to do so in an expedient fashion. The Great Empire Of Activision will crush Goldman Sachs and Wells Fargo with great vengeance and furious anger! Quote the Koteck, nevermore!" The Great and All Powerful Bank of The Great Empire Of Activision is expected to be formally established in the first quarter of 2012, in time with the release of Starcraft 2. This bank is expected to offer direct deposit, check cards with your WoW character on them,the ability to buy Guitar Hero tracks with money from your checking account, and home forecloseures performed by Tony Hawk.
Take your normal superhero origin story. Guy gets powers, guy realizes he has powers, guy goes out to save the world. Now factor this in: the guy has a score to settle.
Everybody wonders what it is that makes them who they are. The Hawk thought that question was securely answered. However a meeting with a boy in a hospital causes him to question everything. Why he is, who he is, what he is, and even if he is.
Eleven years after the events of Consequences Of Mayorust, The Hawk finds himself dealing with many of the same issues that many of us deal with: A less than satisfying job, co-workers of variant annoyance, and a romantic life is unhealthy at best. Thrust into all this is Madison Medina, a well meaning woman who's adversarial relationship with The Hawk morphs into a kind of friendship. Madison, in addition to learning more about herself and her abilities, help to reveal deeper problems inside the organization both she and The Hawk work for.
In every workplace there is a person. A person who doesn't talk to anyone, has walled themselves socially, and seems openly hostile to everyone. Every workplace has this person, even if you don't know of such a person, they're there. The Black Robin Christmas Carol is the story of one of these people. It delves into who this person is, why this person is, and how this person can change for the better.
There is a story. A story of pain, a story of loss, a story of unspeakable horrors, a story that has not been given it's proper attention. Some are ignoring this story. Some are unaware of this story. Some know of this story but are complicit in it's darkness. This is a story that must be told. Told so that the good can stop it and the bad can feel shame for it.
When I thought up thig blog, the name I first thought up was "Random Bullshit". Quickly I recognized that this name would put some people off. Then I thought of the name "Random Bull****". That seemed to be to much clutter. Then I was inspired with the name that dons this blog today.
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