Moving In Slow Motion: 48.3% Complete

Another payday is here, and another opportunity to inflict punishment on myself is also here.  That's right, this is another list of things that I could have bought if I wasn't putting fat stacks of sweaty cash in the bank in order to save for a house.  Unlike last time, this payday I don't have any major bills to pay, freeing up more money for me to not spend on things that will make me immediately happy.  After paying some small bills and factoring in other incidentals...

I have exactly $875.89 to not spend on myself.  So, let's see what I am not buying this payday.

In the past week, DerrickH, one of the hosts of the popular internet radio program Dead Pixel Live, decided to buy a whole new computer.  This decision was driven by his computer spontaneously shutting off when it was asked to do things.  Buying a new laptop has been on my to do list ever since my laptop started freezing up when it was asked to do things.  Driven by my desire and DerrickH's retail experience, I have decided to see how much computer I could buy for myself if I wasn't putting the money away for a purpose that I have to keep on telling myself will work out someday.  Again, this being a responsible adult shit had better work out someday.  And by someday, I mean soon.  And by soon, I mean RIGHT FUCKING NOW!

Newegg.com is a place where people can buy computers, laptops, and other computer and laptop accessories.  There are many other places where people can buy computers, but Newegg has the added benefit of reminding users of the website of breakfast.  On Newegg, you can narrow your search to computers that fit into whatever their potential customer's budget is.  By utilizing this process, I was able to narrow down my search for potential laptops that I am not buying to a mere 711 products.  Not wanting to to try and pick the best from an amount more closely associated with a gas station, I decided to narrow my search further.  I won't go into the whole process I went through to narrow my search.  Why not try it for yourself and see the fun that you can have seeing all of the fun toys that you can buy and then explain to your wife why you bought a computer instead of food.

The laptop that I would like to purchase for myself if I wasn't putting money away for something that I swear will pay off someday is the 
ASUS U47A-BGR4 Notebook, pictured above.  This laptop has an Intel Core i7 2640M(2.80GHz), 8GB Memory, 750GB HDD 5400rpm, and other shit that I also do not understand.  What I do know is that this laptop is better than my current laptop, which also has a bunch of letter and numbers associated with it that I in no way understand.  Currently the ASUS U47A-BGR4 Notebook is selling for $494.99.  So, after that purchase that i will not be making, I have approximately $380.90 for me to not spend.

On Saturday July 6th, the day that people may actually read this post, the UFC is holding the appropriately named UFC 162.  UFC 162 will feature many sweaty half-naked men rolling around on top of eachother trying to assert their dominance over the other.  The main event of UFC 162 features Anderson Silva, who is the kind of man I wish I was but cannot be because I do not have the willpower to be a sexy athletic man who demands the respect of both men and women.  Also I cannot be Anderson Silva because I cannot afford the scientific device necessary to undergo the process of switching bodies with another person.  I can, however, afford the $49.99 it will take for me to watch UFC 162 on my Roku via the UFC.TV app.  That is I could afford it if I wasn't not spending money on things that I find to be enjoyable, and I find watching sweaty half-naked men rolling around on eachother enjoyable for reasons that I do not wish to go into right now.  So, after that purchase I will not be making, I have approximately $330.91 for me to not spend.

On July 14th, the WWE will hold their WWE Money In The Bank pay-per-view event/extravaganza.  I would very much like to see this event.  However, I very much do not want to see one of the participants in this event.

Recently, the wrestler known professionally as Jack Swagger was convicted of Driving While Intoxicated.  This arrest is not why I do not want to see Jack Swagger participate in the WWE Money In The Bank pay-per-view event/extravaganza   The reason that I do not want to see Jack Swagger is that, as a part of his conviction, Jack Swagger admitted to smoking marijuana before he left the WWE TV taping that he was arrested shortly after.  THAT is why I do not want to see Jack Swagger compete at the WWE Money In The Back pay-per-view event/extravaganza.   In fact, I want to see Jack Swagger be fired.  If I, or most any other person who watches professional wrestling, admitted to what Jack Swagger admitted to, I would be fired and my employer would have just cause to do so.

Okay, since WWE pay-per-view events/extravaganzas cost $49.99, that leaves me approximately $280.92 for me to not spend.

I like golf.  I like playing video games about golf.  The Open Championships is coming up near the end of the month, and I feel like playing a video game about golf so that I can prepare myself for watching nearly eleven hours of golf coverage in the four days that The Open Championship will be held.  Currently, the only current video game on consoles about golf is Tiger Woods PGA Tour 14.  I could buy Tiger Woods PGA Tour 14 on Playstation 3 for the low low not low price of $38.99.  That is I COULD buy Tiger Woods PGA Tour 14 for the low low not low price of $38.99 if I was spending money on things that I enjoy.  So, after that purchase I will not be making, I have $241.93 for me to not spend.

In the future, I hope to have enough money to buy a Playstation 4.  In the future, I hope that me putting money in the bank to buy a house will pay off in time for me to purchase a Playstation 4 at launch.  Failing that, I hope to have paid off enough of my credit card debt so that I can purchase a Playstation 4 at launch while also being a responsible adult.  $241.93 will greatly help toward that end.  Sure it isn't the full amount I will need to purchase a Playstation 4, but stop your goddamn complaining.  I'M TRYING!

So there it is, the list of things that I could be buying if I wasn't trying to be a responsible adult and saving money for a house.  If this list was not enjoyable to you, don't worry, putting together this list was even more not enjoyable for me.  It is my honest hope to be done with this series of blog posts in the very near future, but things rarely go well for me, so I expect this torture to go on for many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many years to come.  Sigh.