This is how I am finally going to be rid of it. This is how my participation in the situation ends. This is how I regain control of that which is mine. This is how it happens. This. THIS. Project Buy A House: Moving In Slow Motion: 78.5% Complete
That which is mine will truly be mine.
And so it continues, the annexation of my free time. It continues because the person who I am covering for can't be bothered to do anything, much less what amounts to his responsibilities as a man. This is something that is going to end, not because of any effort put forth by the person I am covering for, but because of my will, my drive, my effort, my sacrifice, the things that I do because I am the only person willing and able to do something about it.
Project Buy A House: Moving In Slow Motion: 74.4% Complete
This blog post is going up a little bit late, and it's rather short. That's because yesterday Moving In Slow Motion was completed. Moving In Slow Motion was the portion of Project Buy A House that involved me saving enough money for a down payment for a house. I knew going in that this was going to be the thing I would be spending the most time doing in my pursuit of Project Buy A House, and I was right. Now I have a down payment, I have a pre-approval for a loan, and now I'm going to go shopping. I'm meeting with realtors, and I'm going shopping. This is a something that I've been working on for a long time, and I expect this not to be the end, but I can see the end in sight. I know what I want is there, I have the necessary materials in order to achieve it, I just have to go and get it. This is going to be the greatest accomplishment I will have in my life.
Okay, second greatest, but this accomplishment will help me attain the greater one.
I own a 2008 Mercury Mountaineer, pictured above. It has three rows of seats, the third row is on the very back and requires you to flip up two seats in the very back part of the car. These seats can be hard to get into and are somewhat cramped. When I got my car I said that my car, "Seats six, four comfortably." This was a joke. I no longer make this joke. Why? When my family heard that joke, they didn't hear the "four comfortably" part of it. All they heard was "Seats six", which they interpret as "Seats six! That means he can take me places!"
So I've decided to end the Moving In Slow Motion blog series. This is not because I have accomplished Project Buy A House. In fact I can feel that goal getting further and further away with every passing day. The reason that I am ending this blog series is that my family reads my blog. Due to the in the Moving In Slow Motion including exact dollar amounts, my family, rather than seeing me getting closer to a big goal in my life, sees those dollar amounts and knows that I have money that I can give to them. Sure I could say no, but my family knows that all they have to do is cry poverty and I have no choice but to fold.
It's not that I want to end this blog series. Knowing that I was getting closer to my goals, and torturing myself in a purely masochist way, was quite enjoyable to me. It's just that keeping this blog series going is preventing my from accomplishing my goals. After all, if people do not know the opportunity is there they are less likely to act. Also my family operates on the assumption that they are entitled to my money. I'm just hoping that if I don't broadcast how much money I have, they will ask me for less of it. In that way, I can once again continue in my pursuit of Project Buy A House.
So another payday is here, and, due to rent and other obligations, I have a limited amount of money for me to not spend on myself in pursuit of Project Buy A House. Okay, let's do the calculations.
$371.72, which is a bit more than I was expecting.
Over the past week or so, I been writing a lot of poetry. Writing poetry means only one thing for me...
I'm not happy. Rather than find true solutions, or overdose on writing poetry so I can be done with my feelings, I want to put distance between my conscious mind and my feelings. This can be done with the application of one thing...
ALCOHOL!
So, let's see what kind of hooch $371.72 will buy me.
You know, I've never had a good bottle of champagne. I've never had an occasion to drink a good bottle of champagne. I don't have a good occasion to drink champagne now, but the price of this Krug Brut Rose Champagne is just right, and champagne does have alcohol in it, and alcoholic is the beverage I want right now. The Utah Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control is currently selling a 750ml bottle of Krug Brut Rose Champagne for $367.89. This would be just the right price for me to spend on something to console myself with if I was spending money on things to console myself with. So, that leaves me with $3.83 for me to not spend on myself.
Halloween is coming up, and it's time for me to think about music for that party that I'm not hosting because parties cost money. Also, no one wants to party at my place. It's not that my place is bad, the location is bad because I live adjacent to the bad part of town. If I was buying music for the party I'm not holding, I could buy Halloween Party Music by The Ghost Doctors. You know that this is party music for Halloween because it is named Halloween Party Music. Halloween Party Music by The Ghost Doctors is currently selling for $2.60. This leaves me with $1.23 for me to not spend on myself.
I remember watching Homeward Bound as a kid. Okay, to be true, I remember my sister subjecting me to this movie and me being forced to watch it because I had picked the last time and I couldn't convince my sister to watch Demolition Man again. Currently a VHS copy of Homeward Bound is being sold for $1.10. This leaves me with $0.13 for me to not spend on myself. Surely I should stop here because there is no way I can find something being sold online for thirteen cents!
And yet I did, and it's not crap! Currently, somehow, Suzanne Collins's book The Hunger Games is selling for $0.12. This leaves me with $0.01 for me to not spend on myself, and here I should stop, because there's no way I can find something worth buying for one cent!...... and I didn't, but man that was fun. Almost as much fun as I bet drinking that entire bottle of champagne is. Join me in two weeks as I torture myself once again with things that I cannot buy as a pursue Project Buy A House. Who knows, one day this list might actually feature a house!
So payday is here once again, and it's time for me to go full on masochist, and compile a list of the things that I could buy for myself if I wasn't pursuing Project Buy A House. This time around, thanks to not having a car payment but also having a giant fucking SUV that costs a lot of money in gas, I have...
$717.45 for me to not spend on myself. Okay, let's get started.
On Saturday, in a much publicized fight, Floyd "Money" Mayweather will defend his Super Welterweight World Championship against to contender Saul "Canelo" Alvarez. This boxing match is supposed to be a great one, a fight that any sports fan has been repeatedly told that they should not miss. The Maywether/Canelo fight can be seen for...
$74.95 for High Definition and $64.95 for Standard Definition. WHAT?!? Sixty-five bucks for a boxing pay-per-view when UFC and WWE pay-per-views cost only fifty bucks? You gotta be fucking shitting me! Why would I pay that much for an event that I am only interested in for one match? Why would I pay that much for an event, when I could watch WWE Night Of Champions for $44.99 online? In fact, if I wasn't pursuing Project Buy A House, I would be buying Night Of Champions, which would leave me with $672.46 for me to not spend on myself.
Ever since I bought a new laptop when my old laptop broke, I've been thinking about buying a new Media PC. I don't need a new Media PC, but people have been taunting me with their ability to play kick-ass PC games, and I want in. On Newegg, I found the iBUYPOWER A10-Series APU 8GB DDR3 1TB HDD Capacity Desktop PC Windows 7 Home Premium 64-Bit AMD NE6800K for only $579.99. This computer has a AMD A10-6800K 4.1GHz Processor, 8GB G.SKILL RIPJAWS x 1600MHz SERIES RAM of RAM, and other things that I do not understand but think are impressive because I think large numbers attached to technical things are impressive. This apparently would be a great PC to buy for myself if I was not pursuing Project Buy A House. Okay, that leaves me with $92.47 for me to not spend on myself.
The 2001 Heitz Cellar "Trailside" Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon is apparently a good kind of wine, as opposed to the boxed shit that I usually don't buy because I have self respect... and they don't sell box wine in Walmarts in Utah because our alcohol laws suck. It apparently goes well with Potato Salad with Green Beans, Artichokes, Red Peppers & Olives, Parsnip Risotto with Pancetta and Sage, and other shit I don't eat. So why have I chosen to feature this product in my blog? Because the Utah DABC is currently selling the 2001 Heitz Cellar "Trailside" Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon for $92.37, which is just inside my price range. Sure $92.37 is a high price for this wine, but I can't buy wine in the way that civilized people do. Instead, I have to buy wine in the way that the Utah State Legislature thinks that I should because they are apparently my father and thinks that they know best for me. Okay, after that purchase that I will not be making for myself, I have $0.10 left for me to not spend on myself. That seems like a good place to stop. That is unless I can find something online that costs only a dime.
Hey look! Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe is selling for only $0.07! Sure I don't know anything about what this book is or if the book is any good, but I do know that it is only seven motherfucking cents, which is just inside my price range. Now, I could go further and find something online that is only three cents... and then I did and found a book by an alleged doctor who is truly deplorable person. So I'll stop here.
That's it for Moving In Slow Motion for this week. Join me again in two weeks so you can all watch me torture myself in full view of the world. I'm sure I'll enjoy it because, as I stated earlier, I am a masochist.
After buying a new laptop and paying that laptop off, I am back to pursuing my top priority, Project Buy A House. As I go forward, I have a better idea of how much money I need to save for a downpayment after talking to a banker.
No, wait, the guy I talked to is not a crook! The banker I talked to works for a credit union, which means he is somewhat more trustworthy. At least I think he's more trustworthy. At the very least, the credit union I talked with is not projecting a sense of being run by slimeballs. However, since I do have a better idea as to how much money I need to save for a downpayment, I now know that amount is bigger than it was when I first started saving.
Yeah, I know, it's frustrating, but it was frustrating before, and now it's just a slightly increased amount of frustration. But eventually this will pay off, right? Right? RIGHT?!? Sigh. Okay, let's do this.
Another payday has come around, and it's time to see just what I could buy with my money if I was not spending it on Project Buy A House. After seeing my paycheck and taking out things like rent, insurance, and other incidentials, I have exactly $287.71 to not spend on myself. Let's see what I am not buying.
My car, which I paid off as a part of Project Buy A House, has an all black leather interior. Cars with all black leather interior tend to become very ward during the Summer months. This is something I should have thought of in advance, but I don't think about the consequences of my long term plans before I make them. Another example of this is Project Buy A House.
The Boston Red Sox sell a car sunshade that can help prevent your car from becoming very very very very hot during the Summer months. Sure this is something that I should have bought in the Spring before the heat started, but shut up. The Boston Red Sox Car Sun Shade costs $21.99, leaving me with $265.72 for me to not spend on myself. Sigh.
UFC 164 is this weekend. You can buy and watch this event online and legally for $54.99. This leaves me with $210.73 for me to not spend on myself. Sigh.
Since I do have a big fucking SUV, I need a GPS system to have in my big fucking SUV in order to pull off the entire "I'm a motherfucking doucebag with money, fuck you" aesthetic. Since I am also tying to pull off this aesthetic on a budget, I need to incorporate things that I already own, like my iPhone. What I need to do this is an iPhone 5 car mount, as well as a long lightening cable for my iPhone. Since Apple doesn't sell long lightening cables, I need to buy a short lightening cable plus a USB extension cable. Altogether, this entire package costs $37.72. That leaves me $173.01 for me to not spend on myself. Sigh.
Franz Ferdinand recently released a new CD called "Right Thoughts Right Words Right Action". This CD is getting generally good reviews, and Franz Ferdinand is one of those bands I really got into during my lengthy college experience. Right Thoughts Right Words Right Action is currently on sale for $9.99. This leaves me $163.02 for me to not spend on myself. Sigh.
There is also a new album coming out from Jack Johnson. I haven't seen any reviews for it or heard any singles, but I fucking love this guy's music. Currently you can get Form Here To Now To You for $11.88. That leaves me $151.14 for me to not spend on myself. Sigh.
Saint Row IV recently came out, and people have been raving about it since it came out. I would have bought it when it came out, but Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Saints Row IV is currently selling for $59.99. That leaves me $91.15 for me to not spend on myself. Sigh.
Let's end things with a list of books for me to not buy for myself that I totally would if not for Project Buy A House. March Book 1, which is the first part of a series of graphic novels about John Lewis and his life and role in the civil right movement, is currently selling for $11.46. Crazy Love is a book that takes an inside look at abusive relationships, how those relationships develop, and why people stay in those abusive relationships. As powerful as Leslie Morgan Steiner's TED talk was, this book appears to be even more powerful. Crazy Love is currently selling for $12.00. Some Ginger is selling another book for $4.88. Hubris by David Corn and Michael Isikoff, which details the manipulating of intelligence leading up to the Iraq War and serves as a cautionary tale for conflicts going forward, is currently selling for $11.45. Tao Lin's Taipei, a book which was mentioned in the recent Rolling Stone article about him, is currently selling for $11.36. Love, Dishonor, Marry, Die, Cherish, Perish, the final book from the unfortunately deceased David Raikoff, is currently selling for $20.05.
That leaves me with $19.95 for me to not spend on myself, which seems like just the right place to stop. Sure I could go on, but my appetite for masochism has it's limit, and I have reached it. Join me in two weeks when another payday will come and, because I've already paid my rent, I will have more money for me to not spend on myself in the pursuit of Project Buy A House.
Remember that awesome laptop at an awesome price that I said you could totally buy because I can't because I am pursuing Project Buy A House? Well, you can't buy that laptop anymore. You can't buy it because I bought it. I bought it because my former laptop's screen broke, and a screen is kind of a critical component on any computer, most especially on a laptop.
So I had to buy a new laptop, and, since I don't have money falling from the sky, I had to put it on my credit card. Since I am allegedly a responsible adult, I am going to have to pay off the debt I just put on my credit card in a very expeditious manner. Paying off my credit card in a expeditious manner means, at least for the next little while, I will be unable to make any progress on Project Buy A House. Not being able to make progress on Project Buy A House won't last long since, due to the dynamics of the calendar and getting paid every two weeks while a month is typically thirty days long, the next two paychecks for me will come with no large bills to have to pay with those paychecks.
By the way, THIS is why I have a credit card. I have a credit card for emergencies like this. In a situation like this, I need resources and a credit card gives me those resources. However, if I abuse those resources, those resources get depleted. Thankfully, because I am a responsible adult, I have not depleted those resources.
Yeah, I know. Don't worry, I'll get back to my self deprecating shtick very soon.
That time has come again. That time that I used to eagerly look forward to, but now see as a kind of a taunt. A taunt that lets me know what I could be doing but won't because of the choices I have made, choices that I could easily reverse but choose not to. That's right, it's payday! Being payday, it's time to see just how much money I could be spending on things for myself, but won't because I am pursuing Project Buy A House.
This payday, after factoring in rent, food, gasoline, and other incidentals, I have exactly $259.12 that I will not be spending on myself. That $259.12 figure is represented by the Uncanny X-Men comic shown above, #259. Let's find out more about that comic, shall we?
Taken from Uncanny X-Men Vol 1 259 - Marvel Comics Database "Phil Moreau and Jenny Ransome, fugitives from Genosha, are about to be kidnapped by Genoshan Magistrates, when an amnesiac Colossus suddenly shows up and intervenes on their behalf. Grateful, Phil and Jenny offer him a place to stay. In Hollywood, an equally amnesiac Dazzler awakes on the property of her former boss, Lila Cheney, and is taken in by Lila’s guard Guido. Trying to figure out who she is, Alison goes clubbing and meets Fred Stanachek, a young man whom she once helped and who currently holds the rights to her aborted movie. Fred offers to make her a star, while elsewhere Eric Beale schemes to kill her. On Muir Island, Moira has David Haller use Cerebro to find the X-Men or her missing bodyguard, Callisto. David fails but, above him, a spirit image of Amahl Farouk appears, uttering the words ‘Storm’ and ‘Cairo.’ Callisto, in the meantime, is a prisoner of Masque, who promises that he’ll break her. A short time later, a gorgeous woman, who Peter has seen on several ads, runs into him and Peter notices she’s afraid of something. In the meantime, the Genoshan Genegineer and Chief Magistrate decide to get the fugitives back at any cost."
Wow, that sounds compelling. I mean, it would sound compelling if I knew what any of that meant. Comic books is something I have been meaning to get into for a while. Ever since I encountered Mayor Young, Oscar, and the other members of the Fantastic Forum, comics have seemed like something that I should be into, and the fact that I'm not speaks ill of my nerd cred. Uncanny X-Men 259 seems like a random enough place to get into comics, let's see how much I could spend on this comic. That is if I was in fact spending money on things that could make me happy.
On eBay you can find Uncanny X-Men 259 on sale for $1.25. That leaves $257.87 for me to not spend.
Look at this picture of the lovely JessicaVillareal modeling the Red On Black AllGames Women's Spraypaint shirt.
Look at this picture of the lovely RaychulMoore modeling the All Games Logo Blue (Womens) shirt.
And here is Mandie, creator of the Geeky Glamorous blog, modeling the Pink On Purple AllGames Logo Shirt.
What do all of this have in common? All of these pictures feature products that you can purchase from the All Games Shop. The All Games Shop features T-Shirts, mousepads, and hats from many of your favorite AllGames Radio shows. This includes the previously mentioned Fantastic Forum. Come on, wouldn't you just love to have a collection of sexy comic book nerds on your chest?
The products in the All Games Shop range in price from $13.99 to $20.99. If you buy all of the products in the All Games Shop, you would spend $261.75, not including shipping and handling. Leaving off the trucker hat, since headwear of that style are not my style, that leaves $245.80 that a person such as myself could spend in the All Games Store. That is I could spend that amount if I wasn't undergoing the masochistic chore that is Project Buy A House. Okay, that leaves $12.07 for me to not spend.
This is Penn Jillette. In addition to being a juggler, reality television contestant, and occasional golf ball summoner, Mr. Jillete writes books. These books include the absurdly long titled
"Every Day is an Atheist Holiday!: More Magical Tales from the Author of God, No!", which you can purchase on Amazon for $10.72. Although if you are going to purchase Mr. Jillete's book on Amazon, please clear you cookies and follow the Amazon link that can be found on this website.
That purchase leaves me with $1.35 for me to not spend on myself. $1.35 is just the right amount for me to spend on a bottle of Coke, and still have a thin dime left over. While there are some places that charge more than $1.25 for a bottle of Coke, those places suck. So that it's, that is the list this week of things that I could buy for myself if I wasn't pursuing Project Buy A House. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to napping while watching The Open Championship on ESPN.
Another payday is here, and another opportunity to inflict punishment on myself is also here. That's right, this is another list of things that I could have bought if I wasn't putting fat stacks of sweaty cash in the bank in order to save for a house. Unlike last time, this payday I don't have any major bills to pay, freeing up more money for me to not spend on things that will make me immediately happy. After paying some small bills and factoring in other incidentals...
I have exactly $875.89 to not spend on myself. So, let's see what I am not buying this payday.
In the past week, DerrickH, one of the hosts of the popular internet radio program Dead Pixel Live, decided to buy a whole new computer. This decision was driven by his computer spontaneously shutting off when it was asked to do things. Buying a new laptop has been on my to do list ever since my laptop started freezing up when it was asked to do things. Driven by my desire and DerrickH's retail experience, I have decided to see how much computer I could buy for myself if I wasn't putting the money away for a purpose that I have to keep on telling myself will work out someday. Again, this being a responsible adult shit had better work out someday. And by someday, I mean soon. And by soon, I mean RIGHT FUCKING NOW!
Newegg.com is a place where people can buy computers, laptops, and other computer and laptop accessories. There are many other places where people can buy computers, but Newegg has the added benefit of reminding users of the website of breakfast. On Newegg, you can narrow your search to computers that fit into whatever their potential customer's budget is. By utilizing this process, I was able to narrow down my search for potential laptops that I am not buying to a mere 711 products. Not wanting to to try and pick the best from an amount more closely associated with a gas station, I decided to narrow my search further. I won't go into the whole process I went through to narrow my search. Why not try it for yourself and see the fun that you can have seeing all of the fun toys that you can buy and then explain to your wife why you bought a computer instead of food.
The laptop that I would like to purchase for myself if I wasn't putting money away for something that I swear will pay off someday is the ASUS U47A-BGR4 Notebook, pictured above. This laptop has an Intel Core i7 2640M(2.80GHz), 8GB Memory, 750GB HDD 5400rpm, and other shit that I also do not understand. What I do know is that this laptop is better than my current laptop, which also has a bunch of letter and numbers associated with it that I in no way understand. Currently the ASUS U47A-BGR4 Notebook is selling for $494.99. So, after that purchase that i will not be making, I have approximately $380.90 for me to not spend.
On Saturday July 6th, the day that people may actually read this post, the UFC is holding the appropriately named UFC 162. UFC 162 will feature many sweaty half-naked men rolling around on top of eachother trying to assert their dominance over the other. The main event of UFC 162 features Anderson Silva, who is the kind of man I wish I was but cannot be because I do not have the willpower to be a sexy athletic man who demands the respect of both men and women. Also I cannot be Anderson Silva because I cannot afford the scientific device necessary to undergo the process of switching bodies with another person. I can, however, afford the $49.99 it will take for me to watch UFC 162 on my Roku via the UFC.TV app. That is I could afford it if I wasn't not spending money on things that I find to be enjoyable, and I find watching sweaty half-naked men rolling around on eachother enjoyable for reasons that I do not wish to go into right now. So, after that purchase I will not be making, I have approximately $330.91 for me to not spend.
On July 14th, the WWE will hold their WWE Money In The Bank pay-per-view event/extravaganza. I would very much like to see this event. However, I very much do not want to see one of the participants in this event.
Recently, the wrestler known professionally as Jack Swagger was convicted of Driving While Intoxicated. This arrest is not why I do not want to see Jack Swagger participate in the WWE Money In The Bank pay-per-view event/extravaganza The reason that I do not want to see Jack Swagger is that, as a part of his conviction, Jack Swagger admitted to smoking marijuana before he left the WWE TV taping that he was arrested shortly after. THAT is why I do not want to see Jack Swagger compete at the WWE Money In The Back pay-per-view event/extravaganza. In fact, I want to see Jack Swagger be fired. If I, or most any other person who watches professional wrestling, admitted to what Jack Swagger admitted to, I would be fired and my employer would have just cause to do so.
Okay, since WWE pay-per-view events/extravaganzas cost $49.99, that leaves me approximately $280.92 for me to not spend.
I like golf. I like playing video games about golf. The Open Championships is coming up near the end of the month, and I feel like playing a video game about golf so that I can prepare myself for watching nearly eleven hours of golf coverage in the four days that The Open Championship will be held. Currently, the only current video game on consoles about golf is Tiger Woods PGA Tour 14. I could buy Tiger Woods PGA Tour 14 on Playstation 3 for the low low not low price of $38.99. That is I COULD buy Tiger Woods PGA Tour 14 for the low low not low price of $38.99 if I was spending money on things that I enjoy. So, after that purchase I will not be making, I have $241.93 for me to not spend.
In the future, I hope to have enough money to buy a Playstation 4. In the future, I hope that me putting money in the bank to buy a house will pay off in time for me to purchase a Playstation 4 at launch. Failing that, I hope to have paid off enough of my credit card debt so that I can purchase a Playstation 4 at launch while also being a responsible adult. $241.93 will greatly help toward that end. Sure it isn't the full amount I will need to purchase a Playstation 4, but stop your goddamn complaining. I'M TRYING!
So there it is, the list of things that I could be buying if I wasn't trying to be a responsible adult and saving money for a house. If this list was not enjoyable to you, don't worry, putting together this list was even more not enjoyable for me. It is my honest hope to be done with this series of blog posts in the very near future, but things rarely go well for me, so I expect this torture to go on for many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many years to come. Sigh.
Take your normal superhero origin story. Guy gets powers, guy realizes he has powers, guy goes out to save the world. Now factor this in: the guy has a score to settle.
Everybody wonders what it is that makes them who they are. The Hawk thought that question was securely answered. However a meeting with a boy in a hospital causes him to question everything. Why he is, who he is, what he is, and even if he is.
Eleven years after the events of Consequences Of Mayorust, The Hawk finds himself dealing with many of the same issues that many of us deal with: A less than satisfying job, co-workers of variant annoyance, and a romantic life is unhealthy at best. Thrust into all this is Madison Medina, a well meaning woman who's adversarial relationship with The Hawk morphs into a kind of friendship. Madison, in addition to learning more about herself and her abilities, help to reveal deeper problems inside the organization both she and The Hawk work for.
In every workplace there is a person. A person who doesn't talk to anyone, has walled themselves socially, and seems openly hostile to everyone. Every workplace has this person, even if you don't know of such a person, they're there. The Black Robin Christmas Carol is the story of one of these people. It delves into who this person is, why this person is, and how this person can change for the better.
There is a story. A story of pain, a story of loss, a story of unspeakable horrors, a story that has not been given it's proper attention. Some are ignoring this story. Some are unaware of this story. Some know of this story but are complicit in it's darkness. This is a story that must be told. Told so that the good can stop it and the bad can feel shame for it.
When I thought up thig blog, the name I first thought up was "Random Bullshit". Quickly I recognized that this name would put some people off. Then I thought of the name "Random Bull****". That seemed to be to much clutter. Then I was inspired with the name that dons this blog today.
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