It's A New iPad Air, Cheryl

On Tuesday, a slew of new Apple products were unveiled, including the iPad Air.  The new device will be 20 per cent thinner, feature a slim outer bezel that's 43 narrower than the previous iPad, a 9.7-inch Retina display, and will weight just one pound.

Shortly after the new product's unveiling, Phil Schiller, Apple's Senior Vice President of Worldwide Marketing, answered some questions about the new iPad Air.  Specifically, he answered the question of why he felt the new iPad needed to be smaller and lighter.

"There are many reasons why our new products are smaller and lighter.  We want products that appeal to our customer's needs, both their consumer needs and their aesthetic needs.  After many rounds of customer surveys, as well as a poll of people in positions of influence inside our company, it became very clear that our consumers prefer things that are smaller and lighter.  In fact, we've found that people have a preference for smaller and lighter in many different aspects of their lives.  This ranges from their consumer products, food choices, and even their romantic lives.  I know, from personal experience, what my preferences were when I was "in the market", and although my current wife doesn't currently achieve what my preferences are, I know that will change in the future.  Yes, I aspire to have smaller and lighter things in all aspects of my life, Cheryl.  Now, is that thing on?"

Shortly after this interview was conducted, I was delicately asked to leave Apple's October Conference by five very large men in matching black turtlenecks.