Reports Of Shutdown Activities Now Coming Out

On Saturday, while the government shutdown was still going on, Utah Governor Gary Herbert moved to open the many national parks in Utah, authorizing $1.67 Million in state dollars to be spent toward that end.  Tourists and locals alike flocked to Utah's national parks to experience all that the parks have to offer.  Now reports are coming out about what many of the people who congregated to the parks did in the days when they thought no authority existed.

News reports stated that "throngs" were drawn to Utah's national parks.  It now appears that "thongs" may be the more accurate way to describe the people that were being drawn.  Multiple reports state that many of the overnight campers at Bryce, Arches, and Canyonlands National Parks were witnessed having sex in public.  Similar accounts exists concerning activities at Zion's and Capital Reef but nothing formal has been reported.

Gordon Ranger, known in the area as Ranger Gord, pictured above, has filed several of the reports.  One of his reports goes as follows.

"I've never seen that much naked flesh.  You think that the kind of people who would engage in such behavior would be more svelte that that.  But no.  No."

It's not that Park Rangers weren't out in force in Utah during the government shutdown.  There were many arrests made in Utah's national parks, but most of those arrests have to do with public intoxication, as well as other drug related offenses.  It appears that people thought that, due to the government shutdown, that all of the government was shutdown, including police.  While that wasn't the case, people thought it was so, and, like they say, when the cats at play the mice will play.  Naked.  In public.  Ew.