Grand Theft Auto Diary: #8: GTA Onlinegate

On Monday, Rockstar Games launched GTA Online. Well, to be more exact, Rockstar Games attempted to launch GTA Online. Rockstar Games delayed the release of GTA Online in order to prevent the kind of server overload seen with the launches of SimCity, Diablo III, and every other online dependent game. Did the delay do any good?

No.  On Monday, people started hitting the servers for GTA Online, and the connection issues, bugs, and other assorted failures came along with it. In response to this, Rockstar Games released a statement asking for patience as they deal with these problems.

PATIENCE! THIS IS THE INTERNETZ!!! THERE BE NO PATINCE HERRE! PATIENCE IS FAILURE AND FAUILURE IS NOT TO BE TOLERATED! NO PATIRNCE, WE WANT PLAY GAM3 NOWZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anatomy Of A Raid

Another Ridiculous Diablo III Story

 

On Monday, the Korean Federal Trade Commission raided the offices of Blizzard in Seoul.  The Korean FTC conducted this raid in response to consumers complaints about Blizzard's game Diablo III and those consumer's requests for refunds, which were rejected.  There are some who would argue that this raid is a step to far, reminiscent of gamers filing complaints with the Better Business Bureau over the ending of Mass Effect 3.  However, an action taken on Thursday is unquestionably too far.

On Thursday, the FBI, in conjunction with the Korean Federal Trade Commission, conducted a raid on the Los Angeles home of Angels relief pitcher Scott Downs.  Mr. Downs, who last week was assaulted by a fan who was trying to eliminate the number 37, was dumbfounded by this move.  Mr. Downs released the following statement about the matter:

"What the hell!  First a fan assaults me over this Diablo III bullshit, now the government thinks that I have something to do with it?  Come the fuck on!  I am not in any way to blame for the problems people are dealing with when playing Diablo III.  I'm a fucking relief pitcher!"

When asked for a comment about the raid, the Korean Federal Trade Commission sent a statement that, because it was sent in Korean, this publication was unable to read.  We would put the statement through Google Translate, but we doubt that the translation we would receive would be accurate.

When asked for a comment about the raid, FBI spokesman Robert Edwards punched me in the face.  When asked for a comment about the assault, Mr. Edwards said, "Don't fucking question me!  I work for the motherfucking FBI!  Bitch."

Anti-Flag: Anatomy of Your Enemy

Just a reminder.  Remember, these tactics may be being used now.

Iran.

 

We see situations go on in other places and think, "It can't happen here.  It won't happen here."  This is how it can happen here.

Volume 11 by Hunter Red

Serialization of Volume 11 to begin August 7th, and continuing every Tuesday and Thursday at Redertainment.com.