E3 occurred last month, and at that convention many video games were announced which many people still have questions about. However there is one game that was announced last week that I have one question about, a questions who's answer may decide whether or not I end up buying this game.
On Monday, the 2014 Electronic Entertainment Expo kicked off, and many of the biggest players in the video game industry held press conferences where they detailed the products, services, and initiatives that they plan to unveil in the near future. I watched three of the press conferences that were held by: Microsoft, Electronic Arts, and Sony. During these press conferences I was struck, not by what was presented to me, but by the reactions that I observed online. So, rather than report on what went on during these press conferences, I'm going to report on the reactions among video game consumers to these press conferences. After careful observation, I am able to distill these reactions and present them to you in a short concise manner. Okay, here goes:
Joking About The Joker And Joplin On Sunday, May 22rd, a tornado touched down in the city of Joplin, Missouri. There was tremendous damage done to this community by this weather event, including the deaths of 116 people, as of this writing. One of the places believed to be hit hard by this tornado was the St, John's Regional Medical Center, pictured above. However, investigators now believe that the tornado was not to blame for the destruction done to this medical center. Police are now looking for this man: This man operates under several aliases, and his background varies depending on when you ask him and the circumstances he finds himself in. Police consider this man to be armed and dangerous. He is believed to not be carrying a gun, but can make deadly use of a knife, explosives, and a pencil. If you know the whereabouts of this man, contact your local police department.
Sony's Playstation E3 Press Conference Drinking Game On Monday, June 6th, Sony will hold it's annual E3 Press Conference. Little is known or confirmed about this event, but Sony has informed attendees that the event will last five hours. Like many events, people have created drinking games to go along with Sony's Playstation E3 Press Conference. I am one of them. Here are the rules of my game. First of all, five hours? You could get drunk, sober up, and get drunk again in that time. What could Sony have planned to do with this huge amount of time?
The drink of choice for this drinking game is Jack Daniels. Other forms of alcohol will suffice, but a real man drinks Jack. Also, if you play this drinking game with root beer, I will find you and I will hurt you.
Take a drink whenever any of the following games are mentioned: Uncharted 3 Little Big Planet 2 Infamous 2 The Last Guardian Resistance 3 Mass Effect 3.
Take a drink whenever the following words are spoken: Apologize, Sorry, Regret, Mistakes, Failures, Consequences, and Amends Take five drinks if the following paragraph or something resembling the following paragraph is said: "We at Sony Computer Entertainment recognize that they way we handled the breach of personal information at the Playstation Network was wrong. While we were not responsible for what happened, the way we handled the situation was highly regrettable. We offer our most sincerest of apologies." Finally, if anybody from Sony blames the hacker group Anonymous for ANYTHING, throw the bottle at the screen.
Project NATALIE? Among the things revealed at Monday's Microsoft E3 Press Conference was Project NATAL. Project NATAL promises a gaming experience where you are the controller, literally. Project NATAL looks to be very impressive and there has been much speculation as to how exactly this technology will be utilized. Because having a shiny new thing is great but if you don't utilize it properly it will go to waste. One rumor having to do with Project NATAL has to do with a well known Hollywood actress. When the Microsoft Press Conference was broadcasted on G4 live closed captioning was provided. When Project NATAL was unveiled the closed captioning misspelled the project name as "Project Natalie". If that was an isolated incident it would have been written off as a mistake, but this misspelling continued throughout the rest of the presentation. This has led to speculation among the deaf community that Project NATAL will launch with a game or an application that will feature Natalie Portman.
I tried to talk to one of the main propagators of these rumors, Professor of History at Gallaudet University David Penna. However when I tried to talk to him, he started flashing gang signs and I punched him in the face. West Side!
I reached Miss Portman for a statement abut the rumors involving her. "These rumors are entirely false. I am not involved in any video game projects at present time. Also, for the last time, I will not go out with you."
Miss Portman's statement seems to close the deal on this rumor, but the future of Project NATAL is a large and unknown entity. Perhaps in the future there will be a game where you can interact with many Hollywood stars in the way that you interacted with Lionhead's Mylo. That would be sweet and I'm sure that, given Lionhead's track record, the first would be good, the second would be awesome.
Bride Saught On Thursday, David Carradine was found dead in Bangkok. Beatrix Kiddo is currently being searched for by police for questioning.
The Hawk by Hunter Red Version 1.1 The Hawk PDF So last week I posted a PDF version of The Hawk for people to download for free. Hopefully this will silence all those people who were whining about having to download a Word document. If you still have problems obtaining The Hawk, contact me and I'll give you explicit directions on where you should go. A bit of warning, before following through on the instructions make sure to dress for extremely warm temperatures. EXTREMELY warm.
By the way, I'll be doing a book signing on Sunday. The signing will take place at The Pie restaurant near the main campus of the University of Utah in Salt Lake City, Utah at approximately noon. This signing is contingent on whether or not I actually show up, and if you bother me while I'm eating I ain't signing nothin' for you. The location of this signing may change to The Pier 49 Pizza on State Street near the Best Buy, the Chili's down the street from my house, or my kitchen if I decide to eat in. Hope to see you there... except for the last one.
PSN Still SUCKS! On Friday I tried to play Little big Planet. I wanted to fully experience this game, including the downloadable levels. In order to do this, I had to deal with PSN. The utter incompetence that is PSN prevented me from experiencing the creative levels of my fellow gamers. I wasn't even able to connect to download the update! PSN fails!
Brutal Legend Comes Out... When? One of the fuckton of games showcased at this year's E3 Convention is Tim Schafer's lastest game, Brutal Legend. In an interview on G4, Mr. Schafer said that the release date for Brutal Legend is set for "Rocktober 13th".
This concept of "Rocktober" intrigued me. I had never heard of this "Rocktober" and was intended as to how this fit into the modern Gregorian calendar. So I Googled "Rocktober" and received the suggestion of "Did you mean October", to which I replied, "No, if I meant October, I would have said October. I want to know about Rocktober!? Because Google lacks voice recognition, I was unable to get a response.
I scoured the internet in search for this mythological "Rocktober" to no success. the closest thing I found was an ad for a Chevy dealership that recently was forced out of business. Apparently "Rocktober" is a concept that is unknown to this world, much like a good design for the Playstation Portable. A spokesman for Double Fine Studios, the creator of Brutal Legend, said about this topic, "You don't know what Rocktober is? I guess you're not metal enough." This might be true as I am a human and not a mechasapien.
When reached for comment about this issue, Jack Black, who provides the voice of Eddie Riggs for Brutal Legend, said to me, "You wanna get high?"
As of this writing, I have yet to find a firm, verifiable release date for the hotly anticipated Brutal Legend. This is after persistent and belligerent calls to my local Game Stop asking, "What the fuck is Rocktober!" This was followed shortly by a visit from Chelsea, an officer with the West Valley City Police Department. A young brunette female with a police baton. I think I'm in love.
Xbox 360 Shock Controller Confirmed! At Microsoft's E3 Press Conference on Monday a new game was announced that set the gaming world ablaze. Hideo Kojima walked on stage during Microsoft's conference to announce Metal Gear Solid: Rising
Among the images seen during the announcement were the words "Lightning Bolt Action" connected to MGS:R. No details were given at the press conference as to what this meant. After hitting up my contacts, I was given exclusive access to the meaning behind "Lightning Bolt Action". However, in order to make this info public, I agreed to keep my source anonymous. As was the cast with Metal Gear Solid 4 on the PS3, a new controller will launch for the Xbox 360 just before the launch of Metal Gear Solid: Rising. this new controller has been dubbed "The 360 Shock Controller". What makes this controller different is the way manual user feedback is handled. Instead of rumble technology, which is so last gen, the user will feel the game as they play it by way of minor electrical currents being fed into the user hands. yes, the 360 Shock Controller will literally shock you. It is unknown what kind of technical and legal hurdles will have to be overcome before the 360 Shock Controller will make it's way to market, but this sure is an intriguing development in the realm of user feedback. It should, at the very least, serve as a deterrent for me playing games with the controller on my crotch.
Take your normal superhero origin story. Guy gets powers, guy realizes he has powers, guy goes out to save the world. Now factor this in: the guy has a score to settle.
Everybody wonders what it is that makes them who they are. The Hawk thought that question was securely answered. However a meeting with a boy in a hospital causes him to question everything. Why he is, who he is, what he is, and even if he is.
Eleven years after the events of Consequences Of Mayorust, The Hawk finds himself dealing with many of the same issues that many of us deal with: A less than satisfying job, co-workers of variant annoyance, and a romantic life is unhealthy at best. Thrust into all this is Madison Medina, a well meaning woman who's adversarial relationship with The Hawk morphs into a kind of friendship. Madison, in addition to learning more about herself and her abilities, help to reveal deeper problems inside the organization both she and The Hawk work for.
In every workplace there is a person. A person who doesn't talk to anyone, has walled themselves socially, and seems openly hostile to everyone. Every workplace has this person, even if you don't know of such a person, they're there. The Black Robin Christmas Carol is the story of one of these people. It delves into who this person is, why this person is, and how this person can change for the better.
There is a story. A story of pain, a story of loss, a story of unspeakable horrors, a story that has not been given it's proper attention. Some are ignoring this story. Some are unaware of this story. Some know of this story but are complicit in it's darkness. This is a story that must be told. Told so that the good can stop it and the bad can feel shame for it.
When I thought up thig blog, the name I first thought up was "Random Bullshit". Quickly I recognized that this name would put some people off. Then I thought of the name "Random Bull****". That seemed to be to much clutter. Then I was inspired with the name that dons this blog today.
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