Obvious Skyrim

Red Review- The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

Yes, I know, I'm late to the party.  Shut up.

Perhaps it is the alleged writer in me, but I appreciate a good narrative.  I appreciate a good, well written story that unveils itself with a proper pace.  Narrative is something that most people is lacking in video games, but there are games out there with a good story behind it.

In Fallout 3, you play as a person on the search for their father.  You go out into an unfamiliar environment, encounter many various types of people, and battle seemingly insurmountable odds to accomplish this goal.  In the end, the player finds his father and reconnects with him.... for about five seconds before the person you spent the entirety of the game seeking leaves to go accomplish something more important that the player.  Granted that thing is providing people with clean water, but still, that's not a good example of parenting.

Fallout: New Vegas begins with the player being shot and left for dead in the middle of the Mohave Desert.  Throughout most of the game, you seek to find out who left you for dead, and the role you and they play in a massive conspiracy to do... something.  Actually, I didn't finish Fallout: New Vegas due to persistent bugs.  Fallout: New Vegas is an example of a game with a good narrative, but who's gameplay hinders the experience of the game.  If Fallout: New Vegas hadn't been riddled with bugs, I'm sure the narrative that was being constructed would have paid off in a spectacular fashion.

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim is set in the kind of high fantasy setting that has nothing to do with history, reality, or anything that actually happened.  Such a setting provides ample opportunities to tell many varied complex stories that have illusions to things that actually happened.  Just ask George R.R.RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Martin.

What the makers of Skyrim, Bethesda, did with this opportunity is truly spectacular.  Skyrim did nothing with this opportunity.  Nothing.  Nothing.  A spectacular display of nothingness only before seen in Congress.

As near as I can tell, there is no overarching story in The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, or, at the very least, not one that I cared about.  Sure the gameplay is flawless, but all that does is allow me to without obstruction experience the vast supply of nothing in front of me.

In the game, you can pick up objects in the environment and carry it with you.  If you pick up too many items, you can reach a point where you are carrying more weight than you character can bear, forcing you to walk very, very slowly.  There were many times in playing Skyrim where I was carrying too many objects.  Rather than shed myself of low value or high weight objects, I choose to walk very, very slowly.  I did this for one reason: I needed to catch up on episodes of The Rachel Maddow Show.

Making this choice should have been a sign for me.  Rather than being eager to experience more of the narrative and the world that Skyrim had to offer, I chose to play Skyrim passively while watching videos on my iPad.  I didn't make this choice because the game I was playing was bad.  I made this choice because the game I was playing was not stimulating me intellectually on any level.  To me, Skyrim wasn't an uncomfortable gaming experience, it was just boring.

While I do have an appreciation for the world that Bethesda created with Skyrim, I wanted a compelling reason to continue adventuring in this world.  In my playing of Skyrim, that reason was never presented to me.  Perhaps others see value in walking through a world with nothing to do but kill endless supplies of skeletons, but I don't.  I want a reason to kill an endless supply of skeletons, other than they are trying to kill me.  I want a story.  I want a purpose.  I want some there there.

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim: B-

I need some help identifying this object.  I am unclear as to what it is and what it represents.  If you know what the object pictured below is, please contact me.

Drifting With Boys And Bikini Clad Motorcyclists

Red Review- Drift by Rachel Maddow

There are things that have occurred during the course of my life that I have little to no knowledge about.  For example.

This, apparently, is Grenada.  The United States invaded Grenada in 1983.  I know very little about this invasion, or about Grenada in general.  The most I know about Grenada is the reference made to it in Die Hard 2.

This, apparently, is Nicaragua.  In 1986 a controversy erupted about the funding of rebels in Nicaragua, referred to as Contras, with money earned from weapon sales to Iran.  The previous sentence represents all of my knowledge of the Iran-Contra scandal.  All other knowledge of Contras in my mind can be summed up by the following: Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start.

This, apparently, is Serbia.  In the late eighties and early nineties, a series of conflicts broke out that the United States got involved in.  The small knowledge I have about this conflict was delivered to me by the classroom news service Channel 1.  The thing that sticks out most in my mind about Channel 1 is Lisa Ling.

These three incidents exists as a hold in my knowledge of things that occurred during my life.  You could argue that this lack of knowledge is because of bias in the media, ignorance on my part, the effect defunding of public schools has on the teaching of history, or many other factors.  The fact is that I didn't know a lot about these situations.  That is untill I read Drift by Rachel Maddow.

Rachel Maddow's aim with Drift was to show how the American mindset about the military has changed throughout history, particularly the 20th century.  To this end, she details several military and congressional conflicts and points out the impacts these conflicts had on the way America handles it's military.  Grenada is an example of how congressional oversight has changed.  Iran-Contra is the beginning of the privatization of the military's functions.  The Balkans shows how further privatization has caused the actions of the military to have a lesser and lesser effect on the civilian populace.

The United States military has undergone a monumental change in the 20th Century.  This is a change that is not made in a way that is giant and blatant.  Rather this change was made incrementally in a way that is almost unnoticed.  Drift shows how that change was made, every large and small step on the way.

Drift by Rachel Maddow: Recommended

Red Review-  Friends With Boys by Faith Erin Hicks

There's a dilemma that I have as a writer.  It's something that every writer encounters, something some deal with better than others.  There is a difference between the way that things happen in real life and the way that people like to be entertained.  The conflict comes when you want to make something realistic but also entertaining.  Friends With Boys encounters this dilemma.

There are things that are brought up in the course of Friends With Boys that are never really resolved.  These are things that people deal with in their lives, things they deal with in more time than takes place in this graphic novel.  However, these are things that scream out for a resolution.  These are things that if the person dealing with them do not resolve, the lack of a resolution nags at the person in ways that affect them in other ways.

Friends With Boys brings up a number of conflicts, deals with several of them, but leaves several more unresolved.  These are things that would nag at a person, but also nags at me as a reader.  I want to see resolution of these things, I can imagine how I would deal with these things, both as a person and as a writer.  Friends With Boys feels like the first part of a long term piece.  It is my honest hope that this is not the end of the tale of Maggie McKay.

Friends With Boys by Faith Erin Hicks:  Recommended

Steal This Title For Your War!

Obama Stole My Title!!!

Hunter Red is sitting in his office furiously typing away and muttering as he does so.

Hunter Red- Witty adjective, strategically placed swear word, phrase that is blatantly racist, noun, verb involved in sexual intercourse, and... done. Finished!

Hunter Red stands up and raises his hands in the air.

Hunter Red- VICTORY!!! I have finally finished my fourth book. VICTORY!!!

Hunter Red sits back down.

Hunter Red- Okay, now to name it.

Hunter Red thinks for a moment. He thinks, thinks, and does additional thinking.

Hunter Red- I know, Odyssey Dawn. It's grand and expansive without giving any of the plot away. Odyssey Dawn, perfect.

Hunter Red is visibly pleased with himself.

Hunter Red- Okay, now to catch up on the news.

Hunter Red reads some news stories, including one about the US led operation in Libya. Hunter Red is furious when he reads the name of this operation.

Hunter Red- Damn it! Goddamn it! I have the perfect title for my exploitative teen sex drama, and the goddamn Pentagon has to use it for an operation where they blow stuff up. Damn it! What am I supposed to name my book now.

Hunter Red thinks for a moment.

Hunter Red- How about Punitive Expedition. Surely no one's thought to use that name for war.


END SCENE



Space

I'm floating. I'm floating effortlessly is a sea of pure nothing. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I move forward into nothing. I move backward into nothing. I move sideways into nothing. I move slantways into nothing.

This nothing feels free. Everything I do, everything I say, everything I think, everything is free. Free feels good. Very good. The kind of goodness I haven't experienced in a long time. The kind of goodness that can only come in this sea of infinite nothing.

This feels good but it doesn't feel right. Something is amiss. Something, in this place of good feelings, feels wrong. I can't quite place it, but I feel this sudden onset of malaise.

I look around and see nothing. Nothing. Completely nothing. No objects, no matter, nothing, but most especially no people. There's no people around. That is what is wrong. Humans are supposed to be social creatures, it's what we are taught to be, to like, to crave from the time we are born, and yet the only way I can feel good is when there is no one around.

Why? Why am I like this? Why is my brain wired like this? Why? Why?



Reconsidering



You know, after hearing this song, I no longer think Bon Jovi totally fucking sucks.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

First Fake Interviews, Now...

Red Guest- The Rachel Maddow Show

Rachel Maddow is sitting in her New York MSNBC studio doing her show as she usually does.

Coming up, my exclusive interview with Matt Taibbi. He will talk to us about Rolling Stone's lawsuit against Rolling Stone, the Ugandan newspaper that printed the names and addresses of several gay men, many of whom were subsequently killed. That is coming up, but first many states have a wide variety of state emblems. Montana, for instance, has deemed the Grizzly Bear to be it's official animal. Oklahoma has the festive Mistletoe as it's state flower. And New York has decreed that the cute as a bug Ladybug it the state insect. Utah has many state emblems. Ranging from it's state fossil being the Allosaurus, the state folk dance being the square dance, and the state cooking pot being the dutch oven. Dutch oven cooking has a unique place in Utah history, calling back to Utah's pioneer roots. Explorers like Jim Bridger and Peter Skene Ogden would often cook up delicious stews and tasty fruit cobblers while they were out on their trapping excursions.

Now the state of Utah is set to decree another state emblem. A gun. The Browning M1911 semiautomatic pistol, invented by Utah native Jim Browning, yes that Browning, is set to be decreed the official state firearm of the state of Utah. This move is considered to be quite peculiar after the shootings in Tucson, as well as increasing amounts of gun crime in Mexico being linked to firearms purchased in the states surrounding the US/Mexico border.

Hunter Red, pictured above, joins Rachel Maddow at her New York studio, sitting camera left.

Rachel Maddow- Here to try to make sense of it is Hunter Red, writer and blogger for The Four Stars Blog. Hunter, thank you being here.
Hunter Red- Thanks for having me.
Rachel Maddow- I heard about this story a couple of weeks ago, and I didn't believe that I saw. No state in the nation has an official state gun, Utah would be the first. Why do you think they would do this?
Hunter Red- Well, you touched on it in your intro. The Browning M1911 was invented by Jim Browning, who was born in Ogden, Utah. Much of his life's work was done in Utah, and the Browning Arms Company continues to be headquartered in Mountain Green, Utah.
Rachel Maddow- But why now? Why is the Utah state legislature moving to honor a gun?
Hunter Red- They aren't trying to honor a gun, they're trying to honor the man, Jim Browning. They tried honoring Jim Browning last year and was unsuccessful in doing so.
Rachel Maddow- How so?
Hunter Red- Well, last year, the state legislature proposed giving Jim Browning his own holiday. Now, they didn't want to give him his own day. Instead, they wanted to combine it with an already established holiday.
Rachel Maddow- What holiday was that?
Hunter Red- Martin Luther King Day.

Rachel Maddow is shocked by this.

Rachel Maddow- Martin Luther King Day?
Hunter Red- Yes.
Rachel Maddow- The civil rights leader?
Hunter Red- Yes.
Rachel Maddow- The man who was shot with a gun?
Hunter Red- Yes.
Rachel Maddow- Wow. That is really messed up.
Hunter Red- It didn't take you long to come to that conclusion, did it?
Rachel Maddow- No it did not. I also wanted to talk to you about Curtis Oda's bill-
Hunter Red- The feral animal bill?
Rachel Maddow- Yes. Now, on the face of it, this seems totally repugnant.
Hunter Red- Yes, it does. Fortunately, when the bill was put through committee, the bill was softened a bit. Now the bill says that you can only kill an animal that you think is ferall and is attacking you.
Rachel Maddow- That's good to hear, but why was this law proposed in the first place?
Hunter Red- The issue of feral animals, particularly in rural areas, is something that was brought up when a law criminalizing animal cruelty was passed two years ago. In fact, this issue is why the same bill was tabled the year before it was passed.
Rachel Maddow- So, they are just concerned with untamed animals in rural areas?
Hunter Red- Not all untamed animals. Just things like cats. dogs, and rodents.
Rachel Maddow- This- this is just a little to much for me to comprehend. I wonder why Utah, particularly it's state legislature, is acting, what seems to me, to be a little bit crazy this year.
Hunter Red- This year?
Rachel Maddow- Yes, this year.
Hunter Red- Rachel, it was worse last year.
Rachel Maddow- How so?
Hunter Red- Well, in addition to the proposed Jim Browning holiday, there was a law, actually passed, that decrees that the state of Utah has jurisdiction over the population of wolves within it's borders. Now there are two distinct problems with this.
Rachel Maddow- Is the first that wolves are an endangered species, and therefore it's population is under the control of the federal government?
Hunter Red- Yes, that is the first problem. The second is that there are no wolves in the state of Utah.
Rachel Maddow- None?
Hunter Red- None.
Rachel Maddow- But, how can you control a population that does not exist in your state? That would be like me saying that I have control of all of the dutch oven cooking pots in this studio, despite the fact that there are no dutch oven cooking pots in this studio.
Hunter Red- Exactly. There is also the dual resignations that bookended the last legislative session.
Rachel Maddow- You are referring to the resignation of former governor John Huntsman?
Hunter Red- No. I am referring to the resignations of Sheldon Killpack and Kevin Garn.
Rachel Maddow- What happened there?
Hunter Red- I could tell you, but I think this segment is about over-
Rachel Maddow- We can go long if you like.
Hunter Red- I don't want to obstruct with the flow of the show, or take any time away from the Rolling Stone story. But, what I would like to touch upon is the interview given last year by state senator Chris Buttars.
Rachel Maddow- Chris Buttars. Who is that?
Hunter Red- Chris Buttars is senator who's legislative efforts work to, in my opinion, make the state of Utah a more inhospitable place to homosexuals and liberals in general.
Rachel Maddow- That can be debated, but go on.
Hunter Red- Last year, Buttars gave an interview to Reed Cowen, former Utah news reporter who was working in a documentary.
Rachel Maddow- Which documentary was that?
Hunter Red- 8: The Mormon Proposition. As a part of this documentary, Chris gave an interview where he said several inflammatory things towards homosexuals. These are comments that I thought, given your championing of gay issues, would have just run with.
Rachel Maddow- Which comments are those?
Hunter Red- First, Chris said that all homosexuals engage in pig sex.
Rachel Maddow- Pig sex? What is that?
Hunter Red- I don't know, and neither did Reed Cowen, who asked Buttars to elaborate on what pig sex was. Chris wouldn't explain, since he was in a public place and didn't want to describe behavior like that in public. But, Buttars said that all gay people know what pig sex is. Buttars was saying this to Mr. Cowen, who had no idea what he was talking about and is gay.
Rachel Maddow- I'm getting the wrap it up signal from my producer.
Hunter Red- Okay, the second thing Buttars said in that interview was "Homosexuality is the greatest threat is America going down today."

Rachel is stunned by this.

Rachel Maddow- What?

Hunter Red is smiling.

Hunter Red- Yes.
Rachel Maddow- Chris Buttars said that, in that way, with that exact vocabulary?
Hunter Red- Yes, he said exactly that.
Rachel Maddow- Wow. Looks like we may be paying more attention to the goings on in the Utah state legislature in the future.
Hunter Red- About damn time.
Rachel Maddow- Thanks you, Hunter, for being here.
Hunter Red- My pleasure.
Rachel Maddow- Up next, my interview with Matt Taibbi about the Ugandan Rolling Stone situation. Stay tuned.


END SCENE



Red Impressions: Hulu Plus

On Monday I started fooling around with Hulu Plus. I wanted to watch Fringe and was tired of watching it on my laptop. As it turns out, Hulu Plus doesn't offer Fringe, The Simpsons, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, or the shows on G4 that I watch on Hulu because I have DirecTV.

However, many of the shows that I currently watch on Hulu are on Hulu Plus. House, 30 Rock, and The Office are prime examples. I recently caught up on Parks And Rec. I also caught up on Family Guy, which looks remarkable in high definition. There's also one show recently added to Hulu Plus that I can't function without.

The Colbert Report, with The Rev. Sir Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A.. Before viewing the Colbert Report on Hulu Plus, I had never seen the great The Rev. Sir Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A. in high definition before, and I never want to go back. As mesmerized as I was by his image before, I am even more enticed by The Rev. Sir Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A. now. Sure, The Daily Show is also on Hulu Plus, but all high def does for that show is make Jon Stewart look even older than he does in standard def.

The biggest complaint I have in relation to this service has nothing to do with Hulu Plus. Rather, it has to do with the online architecture that I dues to connect to Hulu Plus. You see, I watched Hulu Plus on my Playstation 3, which is connected to the internet via the Playstation Network, and PSN sucks. This is a chronic problem I've had with PSN. I've tried diagnosing it on my end. My ISP isn't to blame, my modem isn't to blame, my wireless router isn't to blame, the wireless connector inside the PS3 isn't to blame, I can't find anything on my end that would prevent me from getting connected, staying connected, and maintaining a decent speed on PSN.

Overall, Hulu Plus is a nice service. It's not a replacement for my DirecTV, but is a great way to see television shows in HD anytime I want. The connectivity problems are a drawback, but hopefully will be solved when the Xbox 360 Hulu Plus service is rolled out. Here's hoping they work out a deal so I can finally experience Fringe in the high definition awesomeness I've been hearing about.

Hulu Plus: A

Notes From Rehab 2

Another Liberal Suspended

In response to reports on salon.com of his remnant alcohol use and frequent in-office plant urination, The Redertainment Corporation Of America has announced the indefinate suspension of liberal satirist and general loudmouth Hunter Red.

Rodger Red, President of The Redertainment Corporation Of America, released the following statement:
"When the reports of Mr. Red's flagrant rule braking hit the internet, we knew we had to take action. We hold our employees to the highest of standards, and if we find anyone has broken that standard, we act swiftly to bring that employee back in line.

It is unknown how long Hunter Red's suspension will last. It may last days, it may last weeks, it may even be permeant.



Only Imagine

I can imagine being in love.
I can imagine meeting someone,
Dating someone,
Developing a relationship with someone,
Becoming intimate, on many levels with someone,
Giving my heart to someone,
In turn, receiving the heart of someone,
Living for someone,
Having my day revolve around someone,
Becoming a more complete person, more than I could have become alone, thanks to that someone.
I can imagine being in love.
I can imagine.
I can only imagine.
Only imagine.



2 Business Days Later

The Redertainment Corporation Of America is proud to announce the end of the suspension of Hunter Red, and his return to work starting Tuesday. When reached for comment about his, Mr. Red said:
"What? What suspension? I'm in fucking rehab, you god damn moron! Now, go away! I'm trying to balance my motherfucking chi."




Exactly!




Noxee

On Thursday I received my Boxee Box. The Boxee Box is supposed to be a device that pulls TV shows from many different websites (Hulu, Fox, CBS, ABC, Netflix, etc.) and put it on my TV. I bought because I find the concept of putting internet television on my HDTV.

Setting up the Boxee Box is really easy. Plug the power plug in, connect via a HDMI cable, connect to your wireless network, and you're ready to go. I went through my current Hulu subscriptions, found those programs on Boxee (most of them), and put episodes from those shows in my Boxee queue. I also found episodes of South Park and How I Met Your Mother on Boxee.

I tried watching South Park, the last of the three part Mysterion episodes, and it worked well, but I couldn't reverse or fast forward very well. Then I tried watching the Family Guy Halloween episode, and it didn't work. I tried watching an episode of House, and Terriers, and Fringe, and Skins, and The Inbetweeners, and How I Met Your Mother with no success. In summation, the only show I was able to watch somewhat effectively is South Park.

I thought that maybe this was the Boxee service as it currently is, not the service I played around with when it was first in beta. So I launched the Boxee program that is on my laptop. I found that you can play programming from Fox's online service, and USA's online service. So there is probably a difference between what is allowed to be on the Boxee Box and the Boxee service on PC.

I paid $200 for the Boxee Box. I paid extra for one day shipping. I was eagerly anticipating receiving my Boxee Box and experiencing the glory that is internet television on the glory that is my HDTV. I am now questioning why I bought this thing. It does not currently work as advertised. I am told that the people behind Boxee are working on workarounds to allow more content to be viewable on the Boxee Box, however I find that unacceptable. If my Xbox 360 didn't work as advertised when I took it out of the box, I would have seen it as a waste of my hard earned money. Therefore, the Boxee Box is currently a waste of my hard earned money. I want this to not be the case, and I look forward to utilizing my Boxee Box more like how it was advertised, after all, I PAID $200 FOR THIS THING!



Starting on December 3rd, and following every Friday untill Christmas Eve, staves of The Black Robin Christmas Carol will be posted as regular blog posts on redertainment.com. That is all.



The Third Annual Four Star Gaming Awards: Nomination Special

Hello! Anthony Severe here, picking up the slack for Hunter Red, who is still in a rehabilitation facility in Park City, Utah. The time has come for the process to start for The Third Annual Four Star Gaming Awards. The nomination process is now open, and you the reader can participate! Simply submit your winner in any, or all, of the catagories listed below. You can even submit the reason why you think your choice should win. Nominations for The Third Annual Four Star Gaming Awards will close on Monday, December 20th, with the award ceremony scheduled for Monday, December 27th. You can submit your winner to the following places:

Twitter: @Redertainment
Facebook: Send a message to Hunter Red
Email: redertainment@live.com
Or submit a comment or reply wherever you are reading this.

Award Categories
Game Of The Year
Xbox 360 Game Of The Year
Playstation 3 Game Of The Year
Nintendo Wii Game Of The Year
Downloadable Game Of The Year
Biggest Gaming Disappointment Of The Year
Best New IP Of The Year
Non-Gaming Thing Most Deserving Of An Award

Red Taunts You. Yes, YOU!

The Setup


Hunter is sitting in his office, wading through the massive amount of hate mail he received as a result of Capital Bush, when Rodger Red walks in.

Rodger- Hunter.
Hunter- Rodger.
Rodger- Good day so far?
Hunter- Can't complain.
Rodger- Well, prepare for me to ruin it.
Hunter- Are you going to punch my fiance in the face again?
Rodger- No, I'm removing you from that quiz show you host.
Hunter- The Insert Absurdly High Dollar Amount Here Question
Rodger- Yes.
Hunter- Okay.

There is a short pause.

Rodger- Don't you want to know why?
Hunter- No.

There is a short pause.

Rodger- Don't you want to know who I'm replacing you with?
Hunter- Not particularly.

There is a short pause.

Rodger- I'm replacing you with Anthony Severe.

Hunter responds angrily to this.

Hunter- Anthony Severe? Are you kidding me! That conservative asshole?
Rodger- Yep.
Hunter- Why would he make a better host of a quiz show than me?
Rodger- He owns a suit.
Hunter- So do I.
Rodger- A good looking suit.
Hunter- I could own a good looking suit.
Rodger- I sincerely doubt that.
Hunter- I guess you're right.

Hunter goes back to work as Rodger continues to stand in the doorway. There is a short pause.

Rodger- Don't you want to know who his first contestant is.
Hunter- No.
Rodger- I bet you'll like him.
Hunter- I doubt it.
Rodger- It's you.
Hunter- I hear that guy's an asshole.
Rodger- I can't say as I disagree with that assessment.

Rodger leaves Hunter's office as Hunter continues to work. Moments later, Hunter realizes what Rodger just said.

Hunter- Does that mean I have to buy a suit?

END SCENE



The Act Review

The Act is an arcade video game produced by Cecropia in the United States in 2007. The game is a unique interactive cartoon featuring the hand-drawn art of a number of former Disney animators. It was test-marketed in selected locations throughout North America in 2006, and it received generally favorable press coverage. However, the game was canceled in late 2007, and Cecropia shut its doors in early 2008. Prior to closing, Cecropia auctioned off 10 kits of the game on eBay. The kits used were Intel-powered PCs that featured a custom made JAMMA-to-PC I/O board. Other kits that were produced (40 in total) were given to members of Cecropia's staff. Also two dedicated cabinets were sold to the public, these cabinets having been used to location test the game. Most kits ended up in the hands of private collectors while at least one ended up in an arcade in Utah. This arcade is Game Grid.

Game Grid is a small arcade located in a suburban mall. Along with The Act, Game Grid also offers Terminator: Salvation, a light gun rail shooter, The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift, an arcade racer based on the movie of the same name, as well as several classic arcade titles. Game Grid is located inside the suburban mall next to a store that sells board games and brain teasers and a store that sells churros.

Why is any of this relevant? Game Grid is located inside Valley Fair Mall in West Valley City, Utah. Valley Fair Mall is approximately five and a half miles from my house. On Monday, September 20th, 2010 I played The Act. On Monday, September 20th, 2010, I beat The Act. On Monday, September 20th, 2010, I played a game that the vast majority of the gaming public has not played, and I beat it. On Monday, September 20th, 2010, I did something that you didn't.

The Act is a fun, challenging, and different gaming experiences, that I have experienced and you haven't. The Act is the kind of game that can get people who strive for unique gaming experiences into the arcades. These arcades include the arcade that I played this game in AND YOU DIDN'T. The Act is the kind of game that should be more of in the gaming world. But, since there isn't, I will continue to be able to taunt you with things that I have done and you have not.



The Act: A+



Quiz Show with Anthony Severe

An overblown light display and cheesy, borderline annoying instrumental theme is triggered, eventually revealing a man in a really good looking suit, pictures below, sitting on a raised platform on a soundstage.

Anthony- Good evening. I am Anthony Severe, the new host of the 9.0634 Million Dollar Question. We'll bring out our contestant in just a moment, but first a word form our sponsor.

A video is show of the man pictured above saying "I hate you all."

Anthony- Welcome back. Our contestant tonight is an asshole from West Valley City, Utah. Please welcome Hunter Red.

Canned applause is played as Hunter Red walks out to the stage and takes a seat next to Anthony.

Anthony- Mr. Red, it must be a pleasure to be here.
Hunter- It is, although I believe you were mistaken about my occupation.
Anthony- Come again?
Hunter- You said I worked as an asshole.
Anthony- No, I said you were an asshole. The only person who can find work as an asshole is Keith Olbermann.

Genuine laughter is heard.

Anthony- Let's begin the game.

An overblown light display and cheesy, borderline annoying instrumental theme is triggered, ending up in nothing much changing.

Anthony- Question One: Who is the current career points leader in the National Basketball Association? A: Kareem Abdul Jabbar B: Karl Malone C: Hakeem Olajuwon D: Kobe Bryant

Hunter thinks for a second.

Hunter- The answer is A.
Anthony- No, I'm sorry, the correct response is A, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
Hunter- But I said A.
Anthony- No, you said, "A liberal screed where you quoted boisterous lesbian Rachel Maddow." So sorry. Next question.
Hunter- I got that first question-
Anthony- Next question!

An overblown light displayed and cheesy, borderline annoying instrumental theme is triggered, ending up in nothing much changing.

Anthony- Who won the Pulitzer Prize for fiction in 2010. A: Elizabeth Strout for Olive Kitteridge B: Paul Harding for Tinkers C: Lydia Millet for Life in Infant Monkeys D: Lore Segal for Shakespeare's Kitchen

Hunter thinks for a moment.

Hunter- The answer is B.
Anthony- No, I'm sorry, the answer is B, Paul Harding
Hunter- I said B.
Anthony- No, you said, "Bush is a Nazi. I'd like to tear off his head and shit down his throat."
Hunter- I'd never say anything like that.
Anthony- You are a liberal. Next question!

An overblown light display and cheesy, borderline annoying instrumental theme is triggered, ending up in nothing much changing.

Anthony- Who is the current Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. A: Tony Blair B: Gordon Brown C: David Cameron D: Eddie Izzard

Hunter thinks for a moment.

Hunter- The answer is C.
Anthony- No, I'm sorry, the answer is C, David Cameron.
Hunter- I just fucking said C.
Anthony- No, what you said was, "Cocksucking is an enjoyable activity, frequented by me, and all other men who support gay rights."
Hunter- Not only is that wrong, it is patently offensive.
Anthony- No it isn't.
Hunter- Yes it is!
Anthony- I am a conservative, I am perpetually right! Next question.

An overblown light display and cheesy, borderline annoying instrumental theme is triggered, ending up in nothing much changing.

Anthony- Which NBA franchise is LeBron James currently signed to? A: Cleveland Cavilers B: New York Knicks C: Utah Jazz D: Miami Heat

Hunter doesn't think over this question, but instead shoots Anthony an absolutely filthy look.

Hunter- I know what answer you want, and I am more than prepared to give it to you.
Anthony- That's what she said.
Hunter- The answer is Democrats are the only party that should have any power in the government. Furthermore, Democrats are the only party that should exist.

Anthony is shocked by this comment.

Anthony- I am shocked and appalled by that comment.

Correction: Anthony is both shocked and appalled by that comment.

Anthony- That is most certainly not the answer. The answer is D, the Miami Heat.
Hunter- But I thought that the response I gave is the response you wanted.
Anthony- Why would I want to hear a liberal and borderline facets screed?
Hunter- That's it.

Hunter pulls out a handgun out of his pocket and points it at Anthony.

Anthony- He's pointing a gun at me!
Hunter- I am exercising my Second Amendment rights.
Anthony- By pointing a gun at me!
Hunter- No, I'm pointing a gun at a point beyond you.
Anthony- What point is that?
Hunter- The monitor sitting directly behind you with a picture of a person I really despise at the moment on it.
Anthony- Who's picture is that?
Hunter- Yours.

Anthony is puzzled by this.

Anthony- So, should I move?
Hunter- Unless you want me to shoot you while I am shooting you.

Anthony gets out of his chair and steps away while Hunter fires his handgun. Hunter hits the monitor, causing the monitor to be destroyed in a manner that includes a spectacular explosion. The explosion receives thunderous applause from the audience. Anthony sits back down in his chair and attempts to bring the program to a close.

Anthony- Well, that's all the time we have for The 9.0634 Million Dollar Question. I am Anthony Severe, remind you that liberalism is like polio. A disease that will soon be eradicated through the dedicated work of scientists- I mean creationists. See you next time.

The light begin to dim on the stage as Anthony Severe runs for his life.

END SCENE