Is Miyamoto Overprotective?

With it's release last month, Wii Music has been referred to as "Miyamoto's Baby". That turns out to be more of a factual statement than a joke. Today it was revealed that when the first reviews for Wii Music started rolling in, Shigeru Miyamoto reacted like a mother whose newborn child has been criticized, with vitriolic hatred.

Last month a review penned by Redertainment writer Thomas Anderson, called Wii Music "a simplified and shallow game with childish graphics, patronizing music, and downright dumb gameplay." Mr. Anderson ended his review by saying, "I would never wish this game on anybody. F-"

When this review reached him, Mr. Miyamoto said, "How can he say something like that? Doesn't he see the bright ray of sunshine my latest release is!?!" He went on to say, "I bet he's just jealous that I have people who are willing to help me release things and he doesn't. If he had his own game, I bet he'd change his tune!"

Thomas Anderson stands behind his review of Wii Music. He said, "I've had to deal with a lot of crap lately. Between the fake news story, cybernetic parasites, and meetings with dudes in full suits and sunglasses, I don't need anymore of this!" Mr. Anderson then took some red pill, picked up the phone, and mysteriously disappeared.

Like many other games, blurbs from reviews of Wii Music are expected to be printed on the package of the game. However, unlike other games, only reviews from people who have brought wonder bundles of digital entertainment into this world are to be featured. These people include Hideo Kojima, Jade Raymond, and the notorious game making cannon Peter Molyneux.

Detachable Playstation Controller A Hoax

This week, a story broke about a detachable Playstation controller, with great detail given as to how this controller would work. From the moment this story hit online people were openly skeptical about it. Dead Pixel Live co-host Alphabox openly said on last Thursday's episode, "This story is fake." As it turns out, they are right.

The man responsible for this hoax is writer Thomas Anderson, an employee of the Redertainment Corporation Of America. R.C.O.A. President Seifer Kinneas acknowledged this in a statement earlier today. He said, "We here at the Redertainment Corporation Of America are embarrassed by the actions of one of our young employees. The Redertainment Corporation Of America wholeheartedly apologizes for this and are working to ensure that this never happens again." This is not the first time that my fellow employee has tried something like this. Mr. Anderson is responsible for such stories as "Valiant Soldier", "Is The Club A Recruitment Tool?", and "Sarah Palin: Certified Hypnotist".

When I asked him about this, Thomas Anderson has the following to say. "I was just sitting in the offices with a deadline looming and no idea how to fulfill my commitments. Like I do when I'm stressed, I started doodling. That day I was doodling my vision of the dildo of the future when Mr. Kinneas came around and asked me what I was doing. So I lied. I said I was drawing a new design for a detachable Playstation controller. Mr. Kinneas said he was pleased by this and wanted to see me develop it. I then proceeded to pull a story out of my ass."

It is unknown what kind of consequences will fall down on Thomas Anderson, that decision is expected to be made this week. It is known that Thomas has been asked by several people to produce the dildo he designed. These people include Mr. Kinneas' wife Crystal Motoko, my girlfriend Evey Hammond, and former DPL host Raven Fraiser.