Disappointed Sigh

So today was disappointing.  Remember when I said that I had to buy a new laptop?  I didn't do that because I wanted to.  I bought a new laptop because my old laptop broke.

A week before Christmas in 2008, my old laptop broke.  My old HP laptop broke in a way that rendered it inoperable.  Since I had been hearing their commercials for years, and heard glowing testimonials about their service, I went to PC Laptops.  PC Laptops is not a generic name for a computer store.  PC Laptops is a Utah based computer manufacturer/seller that offers, among other things, kick-ass laptops with a lifetime service guarantee.  In my hour of need, I went to PC Laptops looking to get my old broken HP laptop fixed.  My old broken HP laptop was broken in a way that they could not fix, but I was offered a deal on a new laptop, a deal I took them up on.

I took them up on their deal and for just over four and a half years I had a laptop that served me well.  Extremely well.  My PC Laptops laptop served me far better than my old broken HP laptop did, and better than I reasonably expected from a laptop computer.  Since three to five years is the expected lifespan of most laptops, I'd say that I was making out pretty well.  However, on July 25th, something happened.

I turned on my PC Laptops laptop one morning and the screen was dim.  Very dim.  I won't utilize an analogy to a Hollywood actor in order to describe the dimness, instead I will describe it literally.  Imagine the screen you are looking at right now.  Now imagine what that screen would look like if it was fully operational but had no backlight to it.  That is how my PC Laptop laptop looked.  I could still utilize the laptop's HDMI port to connect the laptop to another monitor, so the problem wasn't with the video card, the problem was with the screen.

But, no worries.  I had a lifetime service guarantee!  That means if I have a problem with my computer, someone who actually knows things about computers can figure out what's wrong and fix it.  YAY!  So I called down to one of the several local PC Laptops locations, got confirmation that was I thought was a problem was a problem, and made arrangements to get my PC Laptops laptop fixed.

Three weeks went by.  I occasionally got updates about the techs at PC Laptops thinking one thing was the problem, finding out it wasn't, then trying something else.  But still, I patiently waited.  And waited.  And waited.  Well, not completely patiently.  After all, I did buy a new laptop.  After three weeks of waiting, today I got an update.

The problem wasn't with the screen itself, or with something called a "Backlight Invertor", which is what illuminates the screen of the laptop.  The problem has to do with a faulty cable that connects the screen to the rest of the laptop.  You would think that a faulty cable would be a simple fix, just switch the cable.  However, since my PC Laptop laptop is just over four and a half years old, the techs at PC Laptops do not have any of the necessary cables in stock.

I'm not crafting this blog post to complain about PC Laptops.  In fact, I think they did good by me.  The amount of time and effort the techs put into fixing my PC Laptops laptop is something you would not expect from people doing it for free.  I was even offered a substantial trade-in toward another PC Laptops computer, which I would have taken advantage of if not for Project Buy A House.  And it's not like my PC Laptops laptop doesn't work entirely, like my old broken HP laptop did, it's just the screen that doesn't work.  It's just disappointing.  It's not that I wasn't thinking about getting a new laptop, it's just that I wasn't planning to do so untill after I accomplished Project Buy A House.  Now, after all of this, my goals have been pushed back a bit, and I have a PC Laptops laptop that I cannot use in the way that I did before.  Still, I do plan on going to PC Laptops when I accomplish Project Buy A House and get around to accomplishing Project World Dominating OmniPC.  Untill then, a boy can dream.

SAC Hunter

\/\/|-|173 5upr3/\/\31(157

Cover of the game that will be included in the game.

This week, Rebellion announced a unique pre-order bonus for it's upcoming game Sniper Elite V2.  If you pre-order the game, you get Hitler.  Yes, Hitler.  No, not Mr. Hilter from Monty Python, Hitler.

Not the man who will be included in the game.

Adolf Hitler will be included in the multi-player aspects of Sniper Elite V2.  You won't be able to play as the infamous German leader, instead you will be tasked with killing Hitler in a scenario reminiscent of Inglorious Basterds.

Not the man who will be included in the game.

There has been the typical response from anti-Semitic groups, afraid of glamorizing the most infamous criminal in history, or in presenting this man in a cartoonish light.  However, there has been a response from a group that does not often give public comments.  On Wednesday, this publication received a statement about this story from the Soldiers Of Aryan Culture.

The logo of the Soldiers Of Aryan Culture, which will not be included in the game.

Soldiers Of Aryan Culture, founded and headquartered in Utah, deals mostly with drug running, intimidation of minority groups, and the secret support of the Utah Eagle Forum.  Usually this group remains quiet, not wanting to be publicly associated with one another in case a member of this group gets arrested.  In a departure from this approach, Soldiers Of Aryan Culture spokesman, Thomas Wright, sent a statement asserts the group's belief that the much reviled German leader was an integral part of 20th Century History and a still great force in the world.  The statement reads as follows:

"Given this great leader's great role is the greatest movement known to man, to show the Fuhrer in such a way is disrespectful to the good parts of the human race.  The ascension and the purification of the white race is a slow but essential part of creating a more perfect society.  The depiction of a leader of this movement is an affront to civilized society, and should be condemned by all people who seek to live in a world free of the impure thoughts and actions perpetuated by impure people."

The logo for Rebellion Games, which might be included in the game.

When reached for comment about this statement, a PR director at Rebellion Games said, "What?  Is this a joke?  Are you fucking kidding me?  Stop wasting my time with this shit."  The PR director then hung up the phone.

Reaction to this pre-order bonus among the gamer community has been rather positive.  One gamer in particular, known online as "|-|UG0571GL17Z" said, "I look forward to teabagging this fucktard over and over and over and over..." This gamer repeated saying "and over" for several pages.

Adventures In Disappointment

Last weekend I decided I wanted to move.  I got my tax return back, I've been tired of my current place for a while, and, damn it, I'm ancy.  I started searching for a new apartment on the Apartment Guide iPad app.

 

This app allowed me to delve into hundreds of listings in my area, find a number of apartments that suited my tastes, and send messages to various agents.  Through the process of using this app, I found fifteen apartments that suited my tastes.  After sending out fifteen messages and receiving replies to six of them, most within hours of me contacting them, I went hunting.  Friday was spent going to six different locations, looking at nine different apartment, and finding a lot of information.  I was able to figure out what my options were, and found three apartment that I liked. 

Like the responsible adult that I am, the next step was budgeting.  Included in my budgeting was things like increases in food and gas, increases in entertainment, and possible increases in rent, as well as various other expenses.  After taking a dutiful look at the numbers, I came to a conclusion.

I'm not moving.  I simply can't afford it right now.  I want to.  Oh God I don't believe in, I want to, but I can't do it right now.  Maybe in the future, after I pay off more of my debt and put more money away in savings, I can do it, but just not right now.

It's unfortunate that I can't move right now.  I was looking forward to getting in touch with new surrounding, neighbors, and even myself.  Moving is a goal that I think I will still hold for myself, I just need to work a little longer to get there.  Hopefully not too much longer.

****-Dissapointing Yet Practically Shocking Upskirt Taliban Pics

Green Beer = Practical Jokes



I have several friends who drink. recently, I was talking with these friends about St. Patrick's Day. Now you would think that, being St. Patrick's Day, they would love to go out drinking that night. In fact, they actively avoid drinking that night.

My drinking friends refer to St. Patrick's Day as "Amateur Drinking Night". On this night, people who don't regularly drink get plastered beyond all comprehension on alcohol that tastes like piss. Green beer sucks, green plastic bowler hats suck, people dressed up in green leprechaun gear sucks, the whole night just sucks. Also, if you're not lucky, somebody throws up on you, as opposed to most nights when you have to pay for that shit.



Not being a regular drinker, I would hear their pain, but not really sympathize as I have no real frame of reference to do so. Then I saw some of the pathetic jokes that were pulled around me on April Fools Day. As a satarists, I now feel my drinking friends pain about St. Patrick's day.



April 1st: Amateur Satirists Day


An Open Letter To WWE



Dear WWE,

I've been a loyal fan for well over a decade now. I've purchased your pay-per-views, video games, DVDs, and even action figures. I've been to several live events and every day wear a Hardy Boys pendant I bought at a show.

On Saturday morning, like every week, I sat down to watch Friday Night Smackdown. I expected to get a good wrestling show with some subtle promos for Wrestlemania 25. That is not what I got. If you guys wanted to do an infomercial for Wrestlemania 25, you probably could have gotten the Shamwow guy for cheap. Although you probably would have had to keep the divas away from his as he has a reputation for assaulting prostitutes.




NHL!



On Saturday, the Boston Bruins clinched the top spot in the NHL's Eastern Division. In other news, the NHL still exists!




DSi List



BEHOLD! THE GRAND SPECTACULAR LIST OF THINGS I PLAN TO DO WITH MY DSi!!!

#1- Take secret illicit up-skirt pics while riding the train.
#2- Play games. (Maybe)

BEHOLD! THE GRAND SPECTACULAR LIST OF THINGS I PLAN TO DO WITH MY DSi IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Final Fantasy: Taliban Edition



People have been wondering for generations why the country of Afghanistan is so hard to conquer and the people therein so resilient. The Russians failed to conquer Afghanistan, the US is experiencing much difficulty there, the last foreign leader to succeed there was Alexander the Great around 320 BC. The answer to this question may have finally been discovered. Last Tuesday, Marines raided a Taliban stronghold outside of Taluqan. In this stronghold was discovered a cache of items used by the Taliban in their battles with many various foreign powers. Among these itmes were assault rifles, explosives, crude biological weapons, and phoenix down. That's right, the Taliban has phoenix down.



For those not in the know, allow me to explain what phoenix down is. Phoenix down is a rare and expensive drug made from bird feathers that can, when delivered to someone who is deceased, bring that person back to life. Phoenix down was first discovered in 1987 in a field near Coneria. Phoenix down is abundant and heavily used in Midgar, Dalmasca, Ivalice, and Mt. Gagazet.

According to internal Pentagon documents, phoenix down rivals opium as a leading Afghan export. Many attempts to curb the production of phoenix down have failed as the price of phoenix down has been skyrocketing to nearly $2,500 for one dose. The Pentagon also credits phoenix down as, "The only thing keeping Osama bin Laden alive."

The current whereabouts of the confiscated phoenix down is unknown. Reports have it in the possession of a deliveryman who is en route to a well connected figure who may need the phoenix down very soon. This deliveryman has only been identified as "Scooter".