Notes From Rehab 3: Glorious Junk

Red Appearances

I recently bought Marcus- The Hand That Feeds at one of Marcus' shows. I went to the taping of this comedy special in March. Marcus, who was running concessions for himself, told me that I make an appearance in one of the crowd shots on this DVD. This excited me. So I watched this very fine comedy special and documented my various appearances. I do this because I am completely vain.

At 0:56:12, there is a camera pan of the crowd. In the upper part, between a guy in a baseball cap and a guy in a white shirt, there's a guy in a white shirt with red sleeves. That's me in my Dead Pixel Live shirt. If you can recognize me, you get a cookie.

At 1:12:53, I appear laughing at Marcus' joke about him not knowing about the latest social network thing. Then I stroke my goatee. I am baffled as to why I stroked my goatee. If you can explain to me why I stroked my goatee at that moment, you get a cookie.

At 1:21:20, a slow zoom out of the crowd begins, first focusing on two guys wearing hats, and, as it pulls out, moving slowly right. At 1:21:23, I come into frame. Again, red sleeves, Dead Pixel Live T-Shirt, this time you can see the watch I wear on my right hand. No goatee stroking this time.

At 1:48:44, right near the end, there's a pan of the audience. I'm close to the middle of the beginning of this shot. No goatee stroking, just big hair.

That is all. By the way, go see Marcus because he is very much good. Also, buy his stuff because it is very much good. Finally, eat some Brussel sprouts, because they are very much good.



Fun With Government Debt!

I found out about this on Monday and started playing around with it. It's quite interesting. I challenge you to balance the deficit without raising taxes. It's quite difficult.

Budget Puzzle: You Fix the Budget



24 Hours?

I started thinking about this when the whole Daily Show/MSNBC/False Equivalency thing started being tossed around. This came up when, at the Rally To Restore Sanity And/Or Fear, Jon Stewart equated Fox News to MSNBC. The people at MSNBC, most prominently Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow, didn't like this comparison.

This discussion caused me to ask the following question: Do we have twenty-four hour news stations any more? The answer is no. What we have is stations that run opinion based entertainment programs during the time designated as "prime time", then run filler for the rest of the day.

For a long time we did. It wasn't MSNBC, or Fox News, or CNN that filled this role, it was Headline News. However, a couple of years ago, even Headline News started airing shows like Glenn Beck and Nancy Grace. Whether it's The Rachel Maddow Show, Hannity, or Parker/Spitzer, every station that touts itself as a twenty-four hour news station has opinion based entertainment programs.

There's a part of me that mourns the loss of the true twenty-four hour news station. I used to be able to turn on Headline News if I wanted to get a sense of what was going on right now. If I had heard a snippet of a national news story and wanted to get more info, I could go to MSNBC and get that info. Hell, I could even go to CNN to get the score from last night's Atlanta Braves game. Now, if I want that information, I have to go online. Perhaps that is the reason why the twenty-four hour news station has gone away. If I can quickly, and easily, get up to the second news on my laptop, iPad, cellphone, or any other web enabled device, why should I wait for the update from the TV news outlet that may be hours old? Perhaps the former twenty-four hour news stations are evolving to meet the current desires of it's audience. If only newspapers could evolve in such a manner. Then we could get a weekly column from Glenn Beck entitled "The Liberal Menace!"




Explicit Colours!

Among the games released alongside the launch of the Xbox 360 Kinect was Kinect Joyride. In this game, you can choose the colour of the car you drive. The way this is done is the Kinect camera looks at it's field of vision and asks the player to choose an object in that field of vision to base the colour off of. Based on statistics gathered by the Neilson Ratings Group, here is the top five colours chosen by the players of Kinect Joyride.

#5- Back Of An iPod Silver
#4- Notebook Paper White
#3- Outside Of The PS3 Black
#2- Mountain Dew Green
And the number one colour-
#1- Penis Pink



Glorious Junk!

Hello, I am Anthony Severe. Recently a big deal was made of the new guidelines put in place by the Transportation Security Administration. Namely all these panty wasted liberals are complaining about the full body scanners and the enhanced pat downs that are currently being implemented by TSA officials.

I personally don't have a problem with these new security guidelines. This is because I have glorious junk. I have the kind of junk that women want to experience and men want to have attached to them. You know all those emails you get offering you pills to increase your size? You are attempting to obtain the glory that I as graced by God to have.

I don't even mind the full body pat downs that involve men running their hands up my leg and brushing against my private area. This is because I know that once this guy touches my glorious junk, that man will become jealous of my glorious junk. They will recoil in fear of my glorious junk and not be drawn to it in the manner that many, MANY, women are drawn to my glorious junk.

Because I am a true conservative with glorious junk, I know the true reason why people are making a big deal of the new TSA security guidelines. The reason is that they are filthy stinking liberals who shouldn't be allowed in decent society, and that they have teeny, tiny, micro penises. They feel inadequate because of their teeny, tiny, micro penises and therefore feel the need to ruin the party for all of us with glorious junk. Again, I HAVE GLORIOUS JUNK!




The Third Annual Four Star Gaming Awards: Nomination Special

Hello! Anthony Severe here, picking up the slack for Hunter Red, who is still in a rehabilitation facility in Park City, Utah. The time has come for the process to start for The Third Annual Four Star Gaming Awards. The nomination process is now open, and you the reader can participate! Simply submit your winner in any, or all, of the catagories listed below. You can even submit the reason why you think your choice should win. Nominations for The Third Annual Four Star Gaming Awards will close on Monday, December 20th, with the award ceremony scheduled for Monday, December 27th. You can submit your winner to the following places:

Twitter: @Redertainment
Facebook: Send a message to Hunter Red
Email: redertainment@live.com
Or submit a comment or reply wherever you are reading this.

Award Categories
Game Of The Year
Xbox 360 Game Of The Year
Playstation 3 Game Of The Year
Nintendo Wii Game Of The Year
Downloadable Game Of The Year
Biggest Gaming Disappointment Of The Year
Best New IP Of The Year
Non-Gaming Thing Most Deserving Of An Award

****- Living On The Mirror's Edge Of A Madworld

Mirror's Edge Review



Have you ever come across this really compelling story. Whether it's a TV show, a movie, a book, or a play, it's just really compelling. The story begins and you are hooked. You meet characters, interact with the setting, get a feel of the environment the protagonist is in, learn about some of the relationships the protagonist has with other characters, and just generally get engrossed with this expertly crafted tale.

Now what if that story just abruptly ends? The characters are developed, the setting is detailed, the plot starts to go forward, then it just stops. Everything seems cut off, almost as if there's supposed to be more to this story, but the powers that be needed a product to sell, gave the writer a deadline, and ended it in a way that even the writer finds unsatisfactory.

Well, I was playing Mirror's edge this week and-

Mirror's edge: B+


The Following Message Is Not Approved By NBC



Recently our country has been dealing with a growing Swine Flu epidemic. Most reasonable people have been advising people to take reasonable measures to prevent exposure to this pathogen. However, there is one measure that I have yet to hear. I present it to you now.

This Swine flu has caught everyone by surprise, and while not much is known about the origins of this virus, one thing is certain. Contractions of and deaths from Swine Flu exploded in Mexico, and Mexico is home to many infamous and depraved sex shows, some including animals. Until this Swine Flu is under control and cases of this deadly disease go down, let me give you this bit of advice: Don't fuck pigs.




DSick



Hunter Red, pictured above, is entering his office to begin his day. Hunter sits down at his desk and turns his DSi on.

R- Hey, my friend Bryan sent me a picture.
Hunter opens the picture and looks at it for a sec.
R- So, Bryan sent me an altered picture of his junk.
Hunter puts the DSi down, fishes his cell phone out of his pocket, and begins to send a text message.
R- Warning: Objects in the pic you sent me may appear substantially larger than they actually are.
Hunter sends the message and puts his phone away. He then picks the DSi back up and says-
R- Why couldn't he send me the up-skirt pics I asked for? I don't care what he says, a kilt is not a skirt.

THE END


Madworld Review



There are many movies that I would propose people watch. Here are two.



The Running Man with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Gene Rayburn, based on the book written by Stephen King writing as Richard Bachman.

This movie is an interesting comment on game shows and the increasingly perilous acts the contestants are challenged to do. Many of the elements in The Running Man are seen in the reality competition programs that clog the airwaves today. The Running Man is truly a cerebral yet brutal action film.



Escape From New York, with Kurt Russell, Issac Hayes, directed by John Carpenter.

John Carpenter's Escape From New York takes place in a dystopic future that occurred twelve years ago. Regardless of this not taking place in the future, the movie is still an excellent example of an alternate timeline where the events between the world's present and the movie's present have all curved toward bad. Escape From New York is also an excellent comment on what we think of and how we deal with criminality in America. It also stands as one of the few good Kurt Russell movies.



Both of these movies are great pieces of filmwork and should be watched by anyone who wants to know what good movies are, or you could play Madworld. Madworld is set in the world of Escape From New York with the basic plot of The Running Man, all done in black and white. By black and white I mean white, black, white, red, and white. A bit too much white space in my opinion, but then again I like things dark and dreary. Just look at my current girlfriend.



Madworld: A-