R.C.O.A.: The Four Stars Blog: Religion

Showing posts with label Religion. Show all posts

An Argument About Marriage

Recently the topic of gay marriage has been flared up again. This came after Vice President Biden gave his own personal views on the subject, which then served as motivation for President Obama to give his own personal views on the subject, which then caused everyone to freak out. This topic coming up again has served as an inspiration for many bloggers, opinionists, pundits, politicians, and many other kids of non-influential people to give their opinion on the subject. I am among them.

In listening and reading to the various arguments for or against gay marriage, I did not hear one that fell in line with my views. These are views that I have not just about gay marriage, but also about marriage in general. That argument is what follows.

As it currently stands in America, marriage is a part of religion. Many will give a long historical account of how it isn't, however that seeks to reeducate people about a concept that they have been aware of for their entire lives. As long as I, my parents, and my grandparents have been alive, marriage has been a religious institution. The tradition is that if you get married you get married in a place and in a way that has a religious connection to it. If you do not follow this tradition, you are generally looked down upon socially, even if that is not openly expressed. The fact is this: As we currently perceive marriage, marriage and religion are one.

When the controversy about the Obamacare Birth Control Mandate came up, the interaction between religion and government was brought up. Part of the argument against the mandate was made by Tim Dolan. Tim Dolan currently serves as the President of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops. On an appearance on CBS This Morning, Bishop Dolan said the following:

DOLAN: ...[W]e just have to stick with principle here, and we're just- what we're very reluctant to do- and what I think wise voices are saying- is we can't have a government bureaucracy invading the privacy and the independence and autonomy and the integrity that our Constitution gives to religion.

Tim Doland, CBS This Morning, February 9, 2012

While many disagree with the viewpoint Bishop Dolan has on birth control, the point that he makes about the interaction between government and religion is sound. Why should the government be invading the religious beliefs of any person? Why should the government be allowed to interpret what another person's religious beliefs are?

Imagine that you are in a house. You can move anywhere and in any way that you want, but you cannot move in a way that takes you out of that house. The very fact that there is a house, with walls a roof and presumably a front door, restricts your freedom to move. You may never move in a way that causes you to bump up against those restrictions, or want to move in a way that causes you to bump up against those restrictions, but the very fact that those restrictions are there restricts your freedom to move.

This can be applied to marriage. The government has rules about marriage. You can move in any way you wish to move within those rules of marriage. Sure, those rules may be something that you are comfortable with. Sure, those rules may be something that you may never challenge. Sure, those rules may fall within your religious beliefs, but those rules exist. Those rules exist and act upon an institution that is fundamental to your religion. Those rules pertaining to marriage restrict your religious liberty. Even if you never challenge those rules, those rules prevent you from expressing your religion in the way that you feel is right. Those rules mandate that you express your religion in a way that the government interprets as correct.

Why should the government be in a position where it has a viewpoint on religion? If marriage is suck an important part of a person's religious life, why should the government be allowed to place rules upon how that part of a person's life is lived? If we truly believe in religious liberty, shouldn't the government have no opinion on the institution of marriage?

My basic argument is this: As long as you are a free thinking adult, the government should have no opinion on who you marry. The only interaction that any government in America should have with marriage is to record the details of that marriage into the public record. That's it. This is not an argument for gay marriage. This is an argument against the government having a viewpoint on marriage. Unless the people involved are unable to make decisions for themselves, the government should not care is anybody wants to get married to anybody.

****- The Cult Of Tony Hawk Versus Phaetons

Red Has Found Religion… Again

In the past, I have asserted my atheistic beliefs when many different arguments arose. These include the existence of ghosts, the source of luck, and the sexual orientation of mountain goats. However, as of April 14th, I can assert my atheistic beliefs no longer. This is because I no longer hold those beliefs. I have discovered a new faith, one which I wholeheartedly believe in. What is this faith? I’ll deal with that question later, but first the reason for my epiphany.

The Church of Scientology teaches us that the source of all religious belief is Phaetons. Phaetons are enemies of the merciless dictator Xenu who were frozen, dropped into volcanoes on Earth, and exploded into minute particles that infect the minds of the humans on Earth. Not all Phaetons were released in the initial explosions. In fact, Phaetons are released every time a volcano erupts, allowing more Phaetons to infect the minds of humans, new religious beliefs emerge. This explains the emergence of The Church Of Latter Day Saints, Lutherans, Protestantism, and The Cult Of Palin.

On April 14th, Mt. Eyjafjallajökull began erupting, releasing huge plumes of volcano ash over the continent of Europe and a small amount of Phaetons worldwide. This resulted in many persons who previously uninfected to become infected with Phaetons. One of them is me. I have accepted a new religion into my life, the Davidcan faith. What is Davidcanism? Glad you asked.

This is David Vaughn Wolf. David is God’s chosen emissary on Earth. David is the one true prophet and he loves us all and aspired to be with us all. David has bestowed upon me the honor of telling the world of his glory, and I am more than willing to do so.

David has bestowed upon me many gifts, and not just the gift of his seed. It was David who said unto me, “Go get me a beer, ginger.” Verily I did get David that beer, and that beer was good, so the great prophet David said unto me. David had done many great things in this world. David is the one who cured cancer. David is the one who discovered Delaware. David is the one who created the Swiffer. Finally, David is the one who has won the World Wrestling Entertainment Title an unprecedented twenty-five times.

David Vaughn Wolf’s glory and majesty is unquestionable, and yet people persist is questioning the unquestionable. Such questioning of the unquestionable glory and majesty of the one unquestionable true prophet David Vaughn Wolf ceases upon meeting the one unquestionable true prophet, like I have unquestionable have. Soon a mechanism will be established for you to question the one unquestionable true prophet, just as soon as we pay the guy who’s making our website.

Soon all people will be able to bathe in the glory that is David Vaughn Wolf just as I have, and also bathe in his seed. For it is not until David truly becomes a part of your very being that you truly feels what it’s like to be whole, to be fulfilled, and to have wholly fulfillment.

David be with you.

Red Joins Another Cult

So I bought an iPad on Thursday. I'm going to try out type out my blog for next week on my iPad and see if it'll work well. Who knows, I might start working Project Carole on my new toy. That or watch the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy on it.

TGAPBTGEA?

This week some massive banking revenue amounts were revealed. Goldman Sachs was revealed to have made $3.46 Billion in just the first quarter of 2010 alone. Wells Fargo was revealed to have made $2.5 Billion in the first quarter of 2010. There has been much knashing, wailing, bitching, and moaning about this news. One person said of this story, "They made that much money? How can we get a piece of that action?". That person was the President of Activision, Bobby Kotick.

In the wake of the news involving Goldman Sachs and Wells Fargo, The Great Empire Of Activision has been positioning itself to enter the banking industry. The legality of such a move is in question, but The Great Empire Of Activision is an American corporation, and laws are an irrelevant concept to American corporations. In a secret memo unearthed by the people at Unearthingsecretmemos.com, Bobby Kotick is quoted as saying, "The massive revenues of Goldman Sachs and Wells Fargo are an affront to The Great Empire Of Activision. Such an affront must be stopped and The Great Empire Of Activisionis the only entity in a position to do so in an expedient fashion. The Great Empire Of Activision will crush Goldman Sachs and Wells Fargo with great vengeance and furious anger! Quote the Koteck, nevermore!"

The Great and All Powerful Bank of The Great Empire Of Activision is expected to be formally established in the first quarter of 2012, in time with the release of Starcraft 2. This bank is expected to offer direct deposit, check cards with your WoW character on them,the ability to buy Guitar Hero tracks with money from your checking account, and home forecloseures performed by Tony Hawk.

****- The Dark Humor Of Distict 9's Religious Podcasts

Red Finds Religion (No, I am not high)

I know that for years I have publically declared myself to be an Atheist. This is because I am an Atheist. However, despite being an Atheist, I still go to church. I know church and atheism don’t exactly mix but neither does Rammstein and Jack Johnson, except to me.

There’s one particular church I’ve been going to for many years now. There are many branches of this church nationwide and I’m fairly sure you’ve been in or at least drove past one if not many. I started going to the branch of this church that was located in downtown Salt Lake City. It was on my way to work, it was in a good location, and the air conditioning in this branch was top notch. I soon found that there was another branch closer to my home, but that branch wasn’t convenient to me so I kept going to the branch downtown.

Eventually I stopped going to that branch for two reasons. One: My work moved to a different location and my commute no longer took me downtown. Two: The powers that be decided to demolish two city blocks, including the location of the branch I was going to. I tried going to the branch near my house but another powers that be decided to do away with that branch. The nearest branch of my church to me required a lengthy drive to get there. I still went but only on holidays and when I felt really bad about myself.

Then I learned there was a branch closer to my home, and I was happy. I went there often, really quite often, and gained a greater and more complete connection with my church. Then I learned that a building down the street from my house was being converted into a branch of my church and I was euphoric. In my euphoria a question came to my mind: Is it correct to call individual locations of my church “branches”? I posed this question to the manager of the church location I currently frequent. Her response:

“This isn’t a church, it’s a Chick-Fil-A restaurant.”

The Ultimate Fuck You

Since its inclusion, people have been wondering why a demo for God Of War 3 was included in the Blu-ray release of District 9. These questions have honestly astounded me as the answer is one that came to me quite easily. Allow me now to explain why the God Of War 3 demo was included with District 9.

Upon the death of the Peter Jackson produced Halo movie project, the seed money for that project was directed toward another project director Neil Blomkaph(?) wanted to do. That was District 9.

District 9 was released by Tristar Pictures, which is owned by Sony. Halo, for the uninitiated, is a franchise exclusive to the Xbox 360 and is owned by Microsoft. Microsoft and Sony are rivals, at least as far as video games goes.

District 9 made over $200 Million at the box office, for Sony. It could be reasonably said that Sony took the seed money from a failed Microsoft property and made a fuckton of cash from it.

You would think that would be the ultimate middle finger or fuck you by Sony to Microsoft but that would be wrong. The ultimate fuck you would be for Sony to make a fuckton of cash off a failed Microsoft property, then, upon releasing the movie on Blu-ray, pairing the fuckton of cash generator with a demo for one of their exclusive elite gaming franchises in order to create the buzz that will enable that game to make another fuckton of cash for Sony.

So there you have your explanation. The demo for God Of War 3 is included in the Blu-ray of District 9 as an ultimate fuck you by Sony to Microsoft. Whether that gesture is in fact the ultimate fuck you has yet to be determined, but one thing is certain. The God Of War 3 demo is a delectable vertical slice but I want to see more.

The Nude Security Theater

Hunter Red and Robin Anderson are in line at security at the Salt Lake City International Airport. They are going through the screening process before embarking on their trip to New York City. The camera shows Hunter and Robin from about the neck up.
Robin- (In a clearly annoyed tone of voice) I can’t believe you.
Hunter- What?
R- I can’t believe you are actually doing this.
H- I told you I was going to show up to the airport like this.
R- But I thought you were joking like you do about most things.
The camera shot changes to a full body shot of Hunter and Robin, revealing that Hunter is fully nude. The camera snaps back before delivery of the next line.
H- Why do you think I took that long shower before we left?
R- I assumed you were pleasuring yourself.
H- Robin, I have you, I have no need to masturbate.
R- I’d kiss you if your weren’t presently annoying me.
TSA Agent- Step forward sit.
Hunter steps forward and passes through the metal detector. Hunter is also wanded for some reason.
TSA Agent- Sir, you’ve been selected to undergo secondary screening.
Hunter- I have?
TSA Agent- yes.
H- Why?
TSA Agent- The computer said so.
H- Well, is the computer factoring in my nudeness?
TSA Agent- Sir, if you don’t follow my instructions, I am authorized to subdue and detain you.
Hunter looks back at Robin then turns back and says-
H- Okay, but the next time I fly I’m removing me skin.
A second TSA Agent takes Hunter off camera.
TSA Agent- Miss, step forward please.
Robin steps forward and passes through the metal detector. Robin is then wanded by the TSA Agent.
TSA Agent- Miss, you’ve been selected to undergo an additional patdown.
Robin- Okay, where do you want me to go?
TSA Agent- Just stand right there with your arms straight out to your side.
Robin does as she’s directed and the TSA Agent begins the patdown. The TSA Agent does a normal patdown then does a second pass, running his hands slowly along the areas of Robin’s body that are covered by her underwear. As the TSA Agent is doing this, Robin’s disposition changes form happy to slightly sullen.
TSA Agent- Okay, you’re clear. You can go on through.
Robin- (Hesitantly and clearly shaken) Thank you.
Robin walks forward and is met by Hunter coming out of his secondary screening. Hunter looks at Robin and says-
Hunter- Are you okay?
Robin- Hunter, what did they do to you?
H- They put me in a machine and blew air on me. Why, what happened to you?
R- The TSA Agent gave me a patdown and… groped me.
H- He- he groped you?
Robin nods her head, having tears in her eyes as she does so. Robin then puts her arms around Hunter and begins to cry softly. Hunter looks at the TSA Agent and says-
H- Security and safety are important things, but you really cannot cross the line like that. What you did is wrong, just plain wrong.
Hunter puts his arms around Robin and comforts her as the scene ends.

THE END

The Logoriffic Linkfest!

Here is a list of the podcasts I listen to. Yay.