Perhaps I'll Take Up Skiing

I've been thinking recently about getting into skiing.  I live within an hours drive of several world class skiing resorts, I have an all wheel drive vehicle which can help me get up the canyon on treacherous days, and I have basically nothing to do on the weekend except watch TV and playing video games, which is another form of watching TV.  Sure skiing lessons will be tough, and the initial expense of buying the equipment necessary to engage in this sport is high, but it will all be worth it when I'm cruising down the mountain in complete tranquility with my surroundings.  I can't think of a good reason why I shouldn't do this.

Actually, on second thought, maybe not.  If I'm going to pass out at a ski resort, I'd rather do it in a comfortable chair with a glass of scotch in my hand.  Actually, on third thought, Heineken.

Project Smoke A Blunt

As I've demonstrated before, I'd love to take a vacation but I don't have a good idea as to what to do.  I did have an idea recently, but I dismissed it because I didn't think it was a good idea.

Recently Colorado decriminalized small amounts of marijuana for recreational use for people who don't live in the state of Colorado.  That means that I could travel to Colorado for the purposes of smoking pot and not be a criminal for doing so.  However, I wouldn't want to say that I was going to Colorado for the purposes of smoking pot because, as I've demonstrated before, my family reads my blog.  So, I'd have to find a legitimate reason to travel to Colorado so that I can say that I'm doing that thing instead of what I'm actually doing, going there to smoke pot.  Perhaps skiing.



Yeah, no.  If I'm going to ride on something cold and then crash afterward, I'd rather get married.  Perhaps, as the Colorado Tourism Office suggests, I can go to the Alpine Hotsprings Hideaway.

Ouch!  That comment wasn't from the temperature of the hotspring, I was looking at the rates.  $295 a night with a $400 deposit and a $100 cleaning fee for parties over six.  Yeah, no.  I'm not paying that much to boil in a tub.  I could go zipling at Adventures Out West.

Yeah, no.  If I'm going to recreate something from an episode of South Park, I'd rather nail a hermaphrodite at the Drunken Barn Dance.  I've heard that Denver has a baseball team.  Perhaps the Red Sox are playing the Colorado Rockies next year.

After looking over the Rockies schedule for next year, it appears the Red Sox aren't playing the Rockies this year.  But hey, I see the Mets are playing the Rockies next year, and John Stewart apparently likes the Mets for reasons that are unexplainable.  And tickets are available for these series of games right now.  Perhaps I could use going to Denver to see the Colorado Rockies play the New York Mets as a cover for going to Denver to smoke pot.  But do I really want to go through all that trouble to smoke pot.  I mean, it's just smoking pot.  I've been told for years that doing drugs is bad.  I'm not even really that motivated to smoke pot.


Okay, now I'm motivated to go to Colorado to smoke pot.  Hell, I'm not even tell people that I'm going to Colorado to do something else.  I'm going to Colorado to smoke pot... eventually.  Once Project Buy A House is over, I'm totally going to go to Colorado to get baked.  Thank you Bill O'Reilley.  You are a constant source of inspiration to me.  And by that I mean I get inspired by Bill O'Reilley to do whatever he says is bad.  It's why I got that abortion.