Tomb Raider: Underworld Review

Shopping Complex-Day- The camera sees a busy parking lot. A car pulls in and parks. A young man, hereafter referred to as “Man”, steps out of the car and walks into a store named “DTM Games”. Man walks around the store, looking at the many video games on the walls. Man then stops and looks at one game in particular. Man picks up the game and stares at it intently. The camera swings around to see Man is looking at a copy of Tomb Raider: Underworld. A crazed look comes over Man. He holds the game high in the air and yells-

Man (In a tone similar to Animal from the Muppets, a tone he maintains until directed otherwise)- Woman! Woman! Woman!

Man quickly makes his way to the checkout, holding the game aloft the whole time. When Man gets to the checkout, a sales clerk, hereafter referred to as “Sales Clerk”, starts to talk to him.

Sales Clerk- Hello sir, how can I help you?

Man hands the game to Sales Clerk and says-

Man- Woman!

Sales Clerk takes the game, and starts to ring it up.

Sales Clerk- Can I interest you in any pre-orders?
Man- Woman!
Sales Clerk- I’ll take that as a no. It’ll be $64.11.

Man fishes his wallet out and gives Sales Clerk his credit card.

Sales Clerk- Debit or credit?
Man- Woman!

Sales Clerk finishes ringing up the game.

Sales Clerk- Do you want a bag?
Man- Woman!

Sales Clerk extends the game to Man.

Sales Clerk- Here you are sir, have a nice day.
Man- Woman!

Man snatches the game from Sales Clerk and sprints out of the store, holding the game aloft and continually yelling “Woman!” Man continues to run and yell as he makes his way home. Man runs up the stairs, through his front door and closes it behind him. The moment the door closes it opens again and Man steps out, still holding the game aloft and yelling. Man goes back over the path he just took, gets in his car and drives back home, holding the game out of the window and yelling “Woman!” Man gets out of his car and again enters his home. An analog clock then appears on screen and goes forward twenty hours. After that the scene goes back to the house. Man emerges from his house. Man is visibly depressed and is holding the game down in one hand. Man sulks as he walks down the stairs and over to his outside garbage. Man opens his garbage, drops the game inside, and says-

Man (In a depressed tone)- Woman.

Man closes the garbage and continues to sulk as he makes his way to his mailbox. Man fishes his mail out and starts to look at it. Man then stops at one mailpiece in particular. Man drops the rest of his mail and stares intently at this one piece of mail. The camera swings around to reveal the Man is looking at a Victoria’s Secret catalog. A crazed look comes over Man. He holds the catalog aloft and screams-

Man (In the crazed tone used before)- Woman!

Man sprints away from his mailbox and into his house.

Tomb Raider: Underworld- D