Earlier this year, I, along with my personal kick-ass attorney Ed Brass, did a section by section legal jargon to English translation of the iTunes Terms Of Service Agreement. Recently I encountered the Terms Of Service Agreement for the Playstation Network. This TOS confounded me in a way that usually only communicating with drunk people does. Therefore I teamed up with Ed Brass again to translate the Playstation Network Terms Of Service from legal jargon into English that is understandable by humans.
The first thing I am going to tackle is the Terms Of Service that you have to agree to when you make an account and sign into one of Sony's websites. That is not the PlayStation Network Terms Of Service agreements, just the agreement you, apparently, agree to when you use one of Sony's websites. The Sony website TOS agreement is six pages long, the Sony PSN TOS is much longer. No, seriously. I will tackle the Sony PlayStation Network Terms Of Service agreement once I and Ed Brass has a free month and a half.
Link to Terms Of Service Agreement
Here are the Terms of Service we expect you to follow:
1. ABILITY TO ACCEPT TERMS OF SERVICE
This section says that this Terms Of Service agreement is a legally binding contract between you and Sony. It also says that by using Sony's websites you affirm that you are able to enter into legally binding contracts.
2. ACCOUNT AND NON-ACCOUNT USERS
3. USE OF YOUR INFORMATION
This paragraph discloses that you may be provided with information about products and services from companies not affiliated with Sony, and that Sony is not responsible for information given to you by any outside party.
4. OWNERSHIP OF CONTENT ON SITES
This section deals with the ownership of content on Sony's websites. This section makes it abundantly clear that content that appears on Sony's sites are owned by the people who created that content, not you. This section also states that you CAN NOT create content based on content on Son'y sites without express permission of the content owner. It also says that you can not tell content that is available on Sony's sites.
This paragraph explicitly states what you, the user, can do with the content that is made available on Sony's sites. This paragraph states that you can:
1. Surf and view sites that have Sony's content on it in a manner consistent with normal web browsing activity
2. Use the content available on Sony's sites for personal, non-commercial use. It also makes it abundantly clear that you, the user, can not make money by distributing the content available on Sony's sites for any profit making venture. This includes many ideas that Sony does not go into great detail about because they do not want to make an exhaustive list of such ideas. (It actually says that they do not want to create an exhaustive list)
This paragraph states that, even if Sony does give you permission to use the content on Sony's sites, they still own that content. Also, if they include any information conveying any ownership information on the content, you should not alter that information.
5. USER GENERATED CONTENT
This section deals with User Generated Content, hence the section title. This section informs you that some of Sony's sites allow you to communicate with other users and create, upload, share, and distribute content in connection with those sites. Content governed by this section does not include blog posts and message board postings. If you post your viewpoints on your blog site or message boards, you have no right to restrict or allow access to that content.
A. YOUR USE OF USER GENERATED CONTENT
This section tells you that, while it is great for you to share and upload content, that certain kinds of content are not authorized to be uploaded to Sony's sites. This section then tells you what kinds of content are not authorized for use on Sony's sites. There are as follows:
1. Copyrighted material, unless you have permission from the copyright holder.
2. Content that contains false statements or misrepresentations that could damage Sony or any third party.
3. Contents that contain messages that make fun of Sony or any third party.
4. Contents that can be deemed offensive in any reasonable context, or encourages people to break the law.
5. Content that serves as an ad for any commercial activity.
6. Impersonates a person that is not yourself.
7. Content that acts as SPAM for a product or service.
8. Content that violated the Code Of Conduct, to be described later, the Terms Of Service, or any other agreement referenced in this Terms Of Service.
B. LICENSE FOR USER GENERATED CONTENT
This section pertains to licensing of User Generated Content. If you post content to Sony's sites, assuming you have to right to use that content, you are giving Sony the right to use that content. Sony's does not have to gain permission to use any content you upload to Sony's sites, as this agreement serves as your consent. Nor do they have to pay you for said content.
By loading content onto Sony's sites, you give Sony an unconditional, perpetual, and boundless license to use that content in any way they deem fit. They can use your content in any way, in any media form, in any country, and do not have to compensate you for doing so. Sony can also create derivative works based on content that you upload onto their sites. Sony can also license the content that you upload to any Sony site to any third party that they see fit without having to obtain permission from the creator.
Also, if you upload content based on any copyright you hold or have right to, you give Sony the right to distribute that content consistent with the paragraph seen above. You have no right to dispute Sony's use of said content. It is also your responsibility to resolve any dispute that arises if you lose the right to any copyrighted property that you create content for that you upload to any of Sony's sites. Your responsibility, not Sony's.
C. SCREENING AND REMOVAL OF USER GENERATED CONTENT
This section states that Sony has the right, but not the obligation, to screen, move, edit, or remove any content uploaded to Sony's sites for any reason.
D. RISK FROM USER GENERATED CONTENT
This section makes it clear that Sony is not responsible for content that they do not create. Sony advises that you should enjoy this content at your own risk.
The following paragraph affirms that the content that appears on Sony's sites is the responsibility of the person who created the content, not Sony.
6. YOUR COPYRIGHTED WORK
This section deals with copyrighted work. Sony Computer Entertainment America, Inc. ("SCEA") respects the copyrights of others, and has adopted the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (17 U.S.C. 512 et seq.).
SCEA, once they are altered about an infringement of copyright law, may remove or block access to the disputed content, and can deny users access to Sony's sites if the repeatedly engage in this behavior. If SCEA does take action in relation to a copyright dispute, they will take reasonable steps to inform impacted parties of their actions.
Procedure for Reporting Copyright Infringement:
This paragraph tell you that if you believe that content uploaded to one of Sony's sites infringes on your copyright, the Designated Agent for such disputes is:
Legal & Business Affairs Department
Sony Computer Entertainment America Inc.
919 East Hillside Blvd., 2nd Floor
Foster City, CA 94404
By phone: 650-655-8000
By email: firstname.lastname@example.org
The following paragraphs and bullet points tell you what information must be included when you make a claim of copyright infringement. If you legitimately feel that something uploaded to one of Sony's sites infringes on your copyright, might I suggest contacting a powerful attorney about this manner, such as Brass Cordova.
Supplying a Counter-Notice Regarding Alleged Copyright Infringement
The following paragraphs and bullet points deals the process you must undertake if you feel that a wrongful claim of copyright infringement has been made against you. Again, if you feel this is the case, contact a powerful attorney, such as Brass Cordova.
7. CODE OF CONDUCT
This section lays out the Code Of Conduct, governing permissible and impermissible conduct on Sony's online community, PlayStation Network. This section stipulates that if you sign into PSN, you must adhere to Sony's Code Of Conduct.
This paragraph stated that you are not allowed to give any legitimate and legal information that can identify you, your family, or your business directly on one of Sony's sites.
Under Sony's Code Of Conduct policy, you are also prohibited from doing the following:
a. Anything deceptive or misleading
b. Any abusive, intimidating, harassing, or stalking behavior
c. Making any content available on one of Sony's sites that can be seen as offensive in any way. This includes content that is racist, ethnically offensive, bigoted, sexist, libelous, defaming, threatening, bullying, or stalking
d. Organizing hate groups
e. Spreading viruses, worms, spyware, time bombs, or other programs that can damage, interfere, or disrupt Sony's sites, computers, or users
f. Doing anything that causes a disruption to one of Sony's sites, hardware, software, or network
g. Engaging in hacking or reverse engineering while utilizing one of Sony's services
h. Making a false report of user abuse
i. Violating the law
j. Taking action that disrupts the normal flow of things on one of Sony's sites, including posting junk letters, unauthorized material, SPAM, excessive mails, or chain letters
k. Using one of Sony's sites to distribute commercial content
l. Posting content that you are aware infringes on the rights of any third party, as well as breaks the law, regulation, contract, or fiduciary obligations
m. Impersonating any person on one of Sony's sites
n. Using information taken from one of Sony's sites to develop your own hardware or software, whether that hardware or software is authorized or unauthorized.
8. REPORTING ABUSE
This section details the process you must undertake when you want to report abuse on one of Sony's sites. To report violations, call SCEA Consumer Services at 1-800-345-7669, or use the moderation tools on the website that you are using.
9. HOTSPOT AND INTERNET SERVICE PROVIDERS
This section informs you that Sony is not an Internet Service Provider, and that they are not responsible for problems, charges, or information collecting that comes with utilizing a Internet Service Provider, which Sony is not.
10. LINKING POLICY
This section tells you the rules for linking to something on one of Sony's sites from a site not owned by Sony. The link in question must not disparage Sony, the site linking to Sony's site must not claim to be a connected to Sony, the website doing the linking must not alter the way that Sony's site appears, and the website doing the linking must not display any of Sony's logos to create the link that they are using to deliver users to one of Sony's websites.
This paragraph states that you may use Sony's sites to link to a third party site. It also says that Sony does not screen such links and are not responsible for the content that such links take you to. By using Sony's sites, you agree that Sony does in fact hold no responsibility. Enjoy!
11. SWEEPSTAKES, CONTESTS AND PROMOTIONS
This section deals with contests that are made available on Sony's sites, and makes it clear that there are different rules for every contest and that the rules for those contests must be read in full before you participate in those contests.
12. WARRANTY DISCLAIMER
This sections conveys that Sony hopes that you enjoy the sites that Sony owns and hopes that they function properly, but is not responsible for any damages that occur when utilizing Sony's sites. There is no warranty of any kind implied or administered when utilizing Sony's sites whatsoever.
13.LIMITATION OF LIABILITY
This section limits the liability that Sony can occur when users utilize their sites. In summation, Sony, it's employees, executives, shareholders, representatives, agents, or anybody else associated with Sony assumes no liability of any kind for anything.
This sections states that upon agreeing to this Terms Of Service agreement, you, the person agreeing to this agreement, agrees to hold Sony, or anybody affiliated directly with Sony, blameless from any and all damages that can arise from you posting User Generated Content on Sony's sites. Sony also refuses to defend you if any third part makes any claims against you for the posting of such content on Sony's sites.
This section states that Sony can make changes to this Terms Of Service agreements at any time. This section also states that by using one of Sony's sites, you agree to follow the current Terms Of Service agreement. To print out a copy of this document, go to http://www.us.playstation.com/termsofuse.
16. INDEPENDENT PARTIES
This sections makes it clear that you are not Sony, are not affiliated with Sony, do not have a working agreement with Sony, and are not allowed to represent yourself as being Sony, being affiliated with Sony, or having a working agreement with Sony.
This sections asserts that Sony can terminate your access to Sony's sites at any time, but if Sony terminates your sections sections 3-9, 12, 13, 15 – 19, 21 and 22 of the Terms of Service will still apply to you.
18. STATUTE OF LIMITATION
This section states that, regardless of any law or statute to the contrary, that all grievances that you have in relation to this Terms Of Service will not result in legal action after one (1) year.
19. GOVERNING LAW AND JURISDICTION.
This section states that the Sony's Terms Of Service is governed by San Mateo County in the State Of California, and that, upon agreeing to this Terms Of Service agreement, all legal disputes must be made through those jurisdictions.
THIS PARAGRAPH IS IN ALL CAPS AND LOUDLY THANKS YOU FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ THIS TERMS OF SERVICE AGREEMENT!
The paragraph that informs you of all of the trademarks that Sony hold that you commonly run across in use of Sony's sites.
The Terms Of Service is copyrighted by Sony Computer Entertainment America LLC. in 2011.
Welcome Back... Are You Okay?
It's Thursday morning at The Official Offices of The Redertainment Corporation Of America. Rodger Red, Julia Diana Bobbi, and Liz are busily working away when Hunter Red strolls into the offices. No one reacts to his presence, except for Julia.
Julia Diana Bobbi- Hunter! You're back in one piece.
Hunter is visibly disgusted by this statement by Julia, even as Julia is giving Hunter a hearty hug.
Hunter Red- Liz, what did you tell her?
Liz- That you were off the wagon.
Hunter Red- Yes, what else?
Julia Diana Bobbi- They tried to convince me that you were a lost cause.
Hunter Red- Fuck!
Hunter leaves the general office area and goes into his office. Julia follows him.
Julia Diana Bobbi- So, how was your trip?
Hunter Red- Great. I got a lot of work done in between going to shows and stuff.
Julia Diana Bobbi- You worked on your vacation?
Hunter Red- Sure. Why do you think Rodger isn't all over my ass about content?
Julia Diana Bobbi- Because you wrote that five part piece that we've been slowly rolling out on the website.
Hunter Red- The Reunion? Oh. Damn, I forgot about that.
Julia steps a little closer to Hunter's desk.
Julia Diana Bobbi- So, are you okay?
Hunter Red- Yeah. I got a little sunburnt walking to a strip club, but I get sunburnt anytime I walk outside.
Julia steps a little closer to Hunter's desk.
Julia Diana Bobbi- No, I mean, are you okay?
Hunter Red- Yeah. Why do you ask?
Julia Diana Bobbi- Because I'm concerned about you and your battle with alcoholism.
Hunter sighs audibly.
Hunter Red- Julia, I thank you for your concern. (Louder so that Liz and Rodger can hear)The God I don't believe in knows that no one else in this office does.
Liz- I just take the phone calls.
Rodger Red- Remember, your deadline is coming up.
Julia steps a little closer to Hunter's desk, to the point where she takes a seat on the corner of it.
Julia Diana Bobbi- Hunter-
Hunter Red- You're getting awfully close, Julia.
Julia Diana Bobbi- Oh, I'm sorry.
Hunter Red- I'm not. I don't know if I've told you this before, but you have a delectable butt.
Julia takes this compliment oddly.
Julia Diana Bobbi- Thanks. Anyway, Hunter, I'm concerned about you because I'm aware of the severe effects that alcohol can have on the-
Hunter Red- Do you know when I got back into town?
Julia Diana Bobbi- Yesterday?
Hunter Red- No, Tuesday. Do you know what I did with my extra day?
Julia Diana Bobbi- Cleared out your TiVo and drank?
Hunter Red- I visited my therapist.
Julia doesn't know how to react to this statement.
Julia Diana Bobbi- Okay.
Hunter Red- You see, I can't go to traditional AA, because of the heavy spiritual influence. Instead, the addiction therapist I went to for recovery advised that I go to a clinical psychologist on a regular basis and whenever I slip up.
Julia Diana Bobbi- So you and your therapist talked it out and your back on the road to recovery?
Hunter Red- Yep.
Julia is made jubilant by this affirmation.
Julia Diana Bobbi- Excellent!
Julia hops off Hunter's desk and gives him a hug. Hunter doesn't know what to make of this, but enjoys it regardless.
Julia Diana Bobbi- It's good to see you are dedicated to your recovery.
Hunter Red- It's good to see your butt from this angle.
Julia breaks the hug and makes her way to Hunter's office door.
Julia Diana Bobbi- Hunter, if you ever need to talk about anything, my office is right over there.
Hunter Red- Okay. Thank you.
Hunter is sincere when he thanks Julia. As Julia makes her way toward her office, Hunter says-
Hunter Red- You know, I wasn't kidding about what I said about your butt.
Julia Diana Bobbi- I know, but you, nor anybody else for that manner, will get their hands on my butt untill the night I get married.
Julia continues on her travel to her office and goes out of sight of Hunter's gaze. When she does so, Hunter digs around in his desk, pulls out an old bottle of Grey Goose, opens it and says-
Hunter Red- To that lucky, lucky, lucky man. It won't be me, but I hope that guy knows the kind of woman he's managed to snag.
Hunter takes a swig from his Grey Goose bottle then puts it back in it's drawer.
Not being in London during the riots, nor trusting of media reports about them, I can only image what they are like. I imagine they are like this.
Lessons In Language And Communications And Talking To People
Hello. We here at The Redertainment Corporation Of America are proud to bring you these lessons in how to communicate with people in foreign lands that are not America. The following is a series of common Italian phrases that are useful if you go to Italy or other places where the Italian language is prevalent, such as Italy.
How are you?
I am well, thank you for asking.
Sto bene, vi ringrazio per avermelo chiesto.
Excuse me, can I have some beer, please?
Mi scusi, posso avere qualche birra, per favore?
Do you have any locally brewed varieties of beer?
Avete qualche varietà di birra prodotta a livello locale?
My, that is large glass.
Il mio, che è il vetro di grandi dimensioni.
Can I have another?
Posso avere un altro?
Can I have another?
Posso avere un altro?
Can I have another?
Posso avere un altro?
Would you, perchance, know where I could pick up a prostitute?
Volete, forse, sapere dove potrei prendere una prostituta?
No, I was not saying your sister is a prostitute.
No, non stavo dicendo a tua sorella è una prostituta.
Boy, that is a shiny knife you have.
Ragazzo, che è un coltello lucido che avete.
No, that is not tomato sauce.
No, non è salsa di pomodoro.
Would you mind not stabbing me again?
Ti dispiacerebbe non mi accoltellamento di nuovo?
Yes, I would like to go to the hospital.
Sì, vorrei andare in ospedale.
What do you mean I have to settle my bill first?
Cosa vuol dire che devo saldare il conto prima?
Why is it suddenly getting dark?
Perché è improvvisamente buio?
Join us for our next Lessons In Language And Communications And Talking To People when we will be featuring Japanese. Here is a sample:
Look, vending machines!
Jidō hanbai-ki, mite!
Ew, vending machines.
EW, jidō hanbai-ki.
We here at The Redertainment Corporation Of America are proud to present our first ever dating show. Cleverly, we have chosen to call this show "The Dating Show". And now, The Dating Show.
It's time for The Dating Show, where viewers and audience members seek dating advice from our host, Warren Steed Jeffs. And now, the host of the show, Warren Jeffs.
Warren enters the set and stands to deliver a message to the audience.
Warren Steed Jeffs- Hello, my followers. I am Warren Steed Jeffs, prophet, seer, and revelator of the Fundamentalist Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints. I am the Lord's only emissary on the Earth.
Warren takes a seat on one of the chairs on the set.
Warren Steed Jeffs- My first guest is Vincent. Vincent Brooks is a 32 year old office worker. He joins us from his home via Skype.
Vincent appears on a video screen opposite Warren.
Warren Steed Jeffs- Hello, my son.
Vincent Brooks- Hi.
Warren Steed Jeffs- What troubles you, my son.
Vincent Brooks- I'm having trouble with my girlfriend, Katherine. You see, my girlfriend has been dropping hints about wanting to get married.
Warren Steed Jeffs- That is understandable. The desire to become bound to another man in holy marriage is something deeply ingrained in God approved culture.
Vincent Brooks- Right, but there's another woman, also named Catherine.
Warren Steed Jeffs- Another Catherine. Intriguing. Go on.
Vincent Brooks- Anyway, I met Catherine, the younger one, in a bar over drinks.
Warren Steed Jeffs- Lemonade, I presume?
Vincent Brooks- Something I bit stronger than lemonade, Warren. Anyway, we started taking and getting closer to one another, and I'm waking up with her next to me in bed.
Warren Steed Jeffs- I've seen situations like this before. When one engages in the consumption of alcoholic beverages, the lose touch with the Holy Spirit. When one loses touch with the Holy Spirit, one can engage in many acts that the Lord has told us is impure and against his teachings.
Vincent Brooks- Well, now I have a problem.
Warren Steed Jeffs- As well you should, heathen.
Vincent Brooks- Now I'm stuck in a love triangle.
Warren Steed Jeffs- Love triangle? What is that?
Vincent Brooks- It's where you are juggling two girls at the same time.
Warren Steed Jeffs- I see no problem. I personally am in a love heptagon.
Vincent Brooks- Well, neither of the girls know of one another.
Warren Steed Jeffs- Ah, that is a problem.
Vincent Brooks- Also, I've been having these weird dreams where I have to climb to the top of a very difficult block puzzle.
Warren Steed Jeffs- Is this block puzzle any more difficult than evading the police while being one of the FBI's Ten Most Wanted Criminals?
Vincent Brooks- No, but I'm concerned about the puzzle itself. I'm concerned that if I don't reach the top of the puzzle, or die along the way, I'm concerned that I'll die in the dream, and thereby die in real life.
Warren Steed Jeffs- Such concerns are rife among the heathens.
Vincent Brooks- Now I don't know what to do. I need some help.
Warren thinks for a moment, folds his hands in front of his face, then begins to speak.
Warren Steed Jeffs- Vincent, my son, let me ask you this question.
Vincent Brooks- What is it?
Warren Steed Jeffs- Have you instructed your girlfriends on how they should maintain themselves so that they can sexually please you?
There is a short pause as this question is very odd to Vincent.
Vincent Brooks- Excuse me?
Warren Steed Jeffs- Have you instructed your girlfriends on-
Vincent Brooks- No, I heard you, I just don't quite understand what you mean.
Warren Steed Jeffs- Let me explain. Even among the heathen class that Vincent and his girlfriends belong to, sexual gratification is integral to any relationship. Such gratification is the obligation of the woman. If the woman or women does not sexually gratify her husband, how is the relationship supposed to endure? However, it is not only the woman or women who must play a role in the maintenance of gratification, the man must also play a role. Men must teach his woman or women how to please him in a sexual context, that way sexual gratification can be constantly maintained. The man must teach his woman or women how to groom themselves. How, where, and how often to shave body hair, in particular which patterns the man wishes to see in the body hair of his woman for women. Also, what kinds of clothes the woman or women should wear under the spiritual attire that women are prescribed to wear in public. There are many other aspects of of a woman or women's life that a man, as her spiritual companion and overlord, must impress upon her. Do you understand now, Vincent.
Vincent is visibly disgusted by what Warren has just said.
Vincent Brooks- You are a sick man, Warren.
Warren Steed Jeffs- Please, call me prophet.
Vincent Brooks- What you have just said undermines the very independence that every woman should have.
Warren Steed Jeffs- Where in the Lord's teachings does it say that a woman should be independent?
Vincent Brooks- Would you argue otherwise?
Warren Steed Jeffs- I do not, the Lord does. And as the Lord's one and only emissary on Earth, I know what teachings the Lord wished to be known to the world.
Vincent Brooks- I think you are a sick pervert, who is obsessed with controlling women for the purposes of having unlimited sexual encounters with them.
Warren Steed Jeffs- Many heathens think that way about me and my collection of child brides.
Vincent Brooks- What- child brides? God, why did I come on this show.
The video feed abruptly cuts off.
Warren Steed Jeffs- It appears that the video feed from Vincent has been cut off. Just as well, this heathen was beginning to infect the audience with his satanic message. Well, that's all for the show today. I am Warren Steed Jeffs, prophet, seer, and revelator for the world, reminding you that the one thing you never do is stop praying and obeying. You never stop keeping sweet. See you next time on The Dating Show.
The lights begin to dim on the stage as Warren stands up from his chair as walks off stage.
For many of us, there's a person that exists in our mind, and only our mind. This is a person who is the product of our deepest desires. This is a person, for many of us, who we may never meet and feel a loss for having never done so. I know who this person is in my mind. I see her everyday. I see her perfectly sculpted legs, her long luxurious hair, her breathtaking smile, I see her. Not only do I see her, I hear her. I hear her sweet golden voice, a voice that mesmerizes me like a Siren.
For many us, this person exists only in our minds, never in reality. Never in the reality of our cold, dark, infinitely depressing world. However, for some fortunate people, this person enters reality, our reality. For the fortunate, this person comes into our lives, and our lives are forever lifted because of it. Such is the case for me.
I went to a place I have gone to before. Usually when I come to this place, I stay there for a period of time and leave rather unsatisfied. This was not to be one of those times. I went to this place and did not spend long there, for I did not have to. Mere minutes after entering this place, I ran straight into a person. The person. The person that only exists in my mind.
We talked for a little bit. Actually, she first engaged in conversation with me. There are no words to describe how much of an impact that had with me. We talked about work, where I crafted a bit on a non-truth about my actual employment, music, where I feigned interest in Chris Cornell, and dress, namely her stunning, stunning top.
Then she said something. Words. The words. The words that forever altered the relationship between myself and the woman who personified my deepest desires.
"So, lapdances are $20, that is for one song, but you can pay for more. There's also the private room. That lasts for a half hour and costs $145. Are you interested?"
Do We Never Learn?
Last year I read a book by David Cullen entitled "Columbine". This book has been described by many as the most definitive report on the Columbine Massacre that has been compiled. As the events that happened in Columbine, Colorado serve as the event with the most impact on my life and my country before I graduated High School, I read this book wanting to learn.
In "Columbine", Mr. Cullen gives a detailed account of the misinformation that was spread around in the days, weeks, and years after the Columbine Massacre. Mr. Cullen talks of news commentators, politicians, musicians, clergy, and ordinary people and what those people learned, said, and did. Mr. Cullen also details how that misinformation affected and still effects the reactions to that massacre.
As I am seeing coverage from the various news outlets that I get my information from, I'm seeing a similar thing happening in relation to the events in Norway on Sunday. Do we never learn?
One night I was driving home and I saw something that disturbed me. I pulled up to a light, at the time time someone else pulled into the light in the left turn lane. As I looked around while waiting for the light to change, which I usually do at lights because I am bored, I noticed that the guy in the left turn lane was rolling backward. This concerned me, as it would most people, for I thought that the guy driving the car might be having car trouble. However, the person driving the car didn't seem concerned. Then I realized what he was doing.
The intersection I was sitting at was one fitted with sensors to monitor traffic flow. If there is a lot of cars waiting at one direction of the intersection and not a lot waiting in the other direction of the intersection, the sensors will sense this situation and adjust the traffic lights accordingly. At this intersection there are sensors on the lights and under the asphalt at the intersection. If there are two or more cars at this intersection, or if there is a car on the part of the asphalt where the sensor is, the sensor will go off and adjust the light.
The guy in the left turn lane was rolling backward so that he would set off the sensor embedded in the asphalt in the intersection, ensuring that when the light changed he would get a protected left turn signal. If this isn't illegal it should be.
I'm A Stupid Cat
Happy Birthday!!!... Where Are You
Julia Diana Bobbi walks into the offices of The Redertainment Corporation Of America with a box in her hands. She sees Hunter Red's secretary Liz and starts talking to her.
Julia Diana Bobbi- Good morning Liz.
Liz- Good morning Julia. What's that you got there?
Julia Diana Bobbi- It's a box.
Liz is not amused by this.
Liz- What is in the box?
Julia Diana Bobbi- Well, you know how Hunter's been down lately?
Liz- Hunter hasn't been down lately, that's how he normally is.
Julia Diana Bobbi- Well, I thought I'd lift his spirits.
Julia Diana Bobbi- Today's his birthday, right?
Julia Diana Bobbi- Don't you think Hunter would like a piece of birthday cake on his birthday?
Liz- Assuming it's cheesecake, sure. There's just one problem.
Julia Diana Bobbi- What's that?
Liz- Hunter isn't here today.
Julia Diana Bobbi- He's not?
Julia Diana Bobbi- Where is he?
This is when Rodger Red pokes his head out of his office and into the general office area.
Rodger Red- He's in Vegas.
Julia Diana Bobbi- What?
Rodger Red- Hunter is in Las Vegas. He goes down every year on his birthday to get blackout drunk and have random sluts grind on junk.
Julia is puzzled by this.
Julia Diana Bobbi- But he can do that here, why did Hunter go to Vegas to have that done?
Liz- He can't bet on the Red Sox here.
Julia Diana Bobbi- Oh, I see.
There is a short pause.
Julia Diana Bobbi- So, what am I going to do with this cake?
Rodger Red- Might I suggest eating it?
Julia Diana Bobbi- Sure, we could do that, but wouldn't Hunter be offended that we didn't make a big deal of his birthday.
Liz- He'd probably prefer we not acknowledge that he's getting older.
Rodger Red- Besides, if he's anything like his father and if Hunter is back drinking again, he'll probably be unable to remember anything that goes on.
Julia Diana Bobbi- So, what are we going to do about it?
Liz and Rodger look befuddled.
Liz- Do? Honey, we can't do anything to help him.
Julia Diana Bobbi- Don't tell me you two have given up on him?
Rodger Red- Julia, your optimism is cute but your naivety is annoying.
Julia Diana Bobbi- Is it so wrong to think that anyone can be redeemed?
Rodger Red- Yes. Some people can't be helped untill they decide to help themselves.
Julia Diana Bobbi- But, can't there be people along the way showing those people the way, showing them that there are people who, at the very least, care?
Liz- Julia, why don't you just go back to work. I'm sure there's another episode of The Red Question that needs to be planned.
Julia, with evident hesitation, takes the cake box and goes into her office and closes the door. Once inside, she sits in her office chair, faces the window, and begins speaking.
Julia Diana Bobbi- I don't understand them sometimes. I don't. The world is not as negative as they make it out to be. Hunter can be redeemed, there just has to be effort. It can't be one sided, others have to be willing to help. I know I am. (Heavy sigh) I wonder where Hunter is now.
List Of Banned Words
In the interest of keeping everything clean, the following words have been banned for use in the comments section of any blog composed by any employee of The Redertainment Corporation Of America.
AARDVARK AARDWOLF AARON ABA ABA ABA ABACUS ABALONE ABARKA ABATEMENT WORKER ABAYA ABBESS ABBEY ABBOT ABDOMEN ABETTOR ABIABA ABI ABODE A-BOMB SHELTER ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN ABOMINATION ABOYNE SKIRT ABRAHAM LINCOLN ABSCISSIN ABSCONDER ABSOLUTIST ABTEN ABUTMENT ABYSS ABYSSINIA ABYSSINIAN CA ABYSSINIAN PI AC ACACIA ACACIA SEED ACACIA TREE ACADEMIC ACADEMICAL DRESS ACADEMICALS ACADEMIC CAP ACADEMIC DRESS ACADEMIC GOWN ACADEMIC REGALIA ACADEMY ACAI ACAI BERRY ACAI PALM ACAPNOTIC ACARICID AC CABLE ACCENSOR ACCENTOR ACCENT PILLOW
ACCESS CHAMBER ACCESSORY ACCOMMODATION ACCOMPLICE ACCORDION ACCORDION BUS ACCOUNTANT ACCUSER ACE ACEDIAST ACEPHALIST ACEPROMAZINE ACEROLA ACERSECOMIC ACETABULU ACETALDEHYDE ACETAMIDE ACETAMINOPHEN ACETIC ANHYDRIDE ACETOMETER ACETONE ACETONE PEROXIDE ACETYLENE ACHAR ACHEE ACHELOUSAURUS ACHENE ACHERI ACHILLES TENDON ACHOCHA ACHOKCHA ACHOR ACHRONITE ACICULA ACID ACID DESCALE ACIPENSE ACKEE ACOG SCOPE ACOLYTE ACONITE ACONITUM ACORN ACORN JELLY ACORN SQUASH ACORN TREE ACOUMETER ACOUSTIC BASS GUITAR ACOUSTIC GUITAR ACRAEIN ACREAGE ACROBAT ACROCANTHOSAURUS ACROGEN ACROLEIN ACROLITH ACRONY ACROPODIUM ACROPOLIS ACROSPIRE ACRYLAMIDE ACRYLIC ACRYLONITRILE ACTAEA ACTAME ACTINIDE ACTINIUM ACTINOGRAPH ACTINOMETE ACTION FIGURE ACTIVIST ACTOR ACTRESS ACTUARY ACUPUNCTURIST ADAM ADAM ADAMANTIUM ADAM'S APPLE ADAPTER ADDER ADDRESS BOOK ADEMONIST ADENOMA ADEQUAN ADESPOTON ADHERENT ADHESIVE ADIABOLIST ADIT ADJUNCT ADJUTAN ADJUVANT ADMINICLE ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT
More words to be revealed over the next weeks and months.