The 2008 Four Star Gaming Awards

Welcome to the 2008 Four Star Gaming Awards. This is the award show that takes the place of this week’s blog, because who want to work right now. For these awards, I wanted the input of the various people who read my blogs on 1UP, All Games, and on So I reached out to those people and asked them for their assistance. Unfortunately only one person responded, Travelinfool. However, that has not stopped me from going through with my vision. So, here now are the awards as stated by Travelinfool and myself.

Downloadable Game of the Year
Hunter Red: Portal: Sill Alive
Travelinfool: Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved 2
Winner: Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved 2

Travelinfool said of this game, “By far the most addictive game I’ve played this year. Putting the next highest player on your friends list in the corner was ingenious” and I agree with him. Geometry Wars 2 took the game that was a runaway hit when the 360 Live Arcade launched and improved on it in ways that enthralled the gaming public. While my vote did go to Portal: Still Alive, I must agree that Geometry Wars Retro Evolved 2 is the 2008 Four Star Gaming Awards Downloadable Game of the Year.

Wii Game of the Year
Hunter Red: Super Mario Galaxy
Travelinfool: Mario Kart Wii
Winner: Super Mario Galaxy

Yes I know this game was released in 2007. Yes I know this game was a Wii launch title. Yes I know that Mario Kart Wii may be the best Wii game of 2008, with Travelinfool saying “a blast to play with my family.” However, I don’t care. No game released in 2008 comes close to the awesomeness that is Super Mario Galaxy. I’m not a Mario Follower or a Nintendo Lemming, but I love this game. Its kiddish graphical style and storyline hide a deep and addictive gameplay experience. Super Mario Galaxy continues to stand as the must have Wii title. That is why Super Mario Galaxy is the 2008 Four Star Gaming Awards Wii Game of the Year.

Playstation 3 Game of the Year
Hunter Red: Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots
Travelinfool: Little Big Planet
Winner: Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots

Before MGS4 came out, I jokingly said that the PS3 would not get a great game until 2009. I also, in all seriousness, said the Playstation 3 had no elite games. That all changed with MGS4. MGS4 is a game that I would not only suggest to anyone, if you asked, I would lend it to you. Little Big Planet is almost as good, with Travelinfool saying of it, “It is a blast to play with my kids and is helping my son learn level design.” However if I had to choose one game as the best game on the Playstation 3 thus far, it would be MGS4, with LBP a close second. As a result, Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots is the 2008 Four Star Gaming Awards Playstation 3 Game of the Year.

Xbox 360 Game of the Year
Hunter Red and Travelinfool: Grand Theft Auto IV
Winner: Grand Theft Auto IV

There are great games that come out and change the way games are played. Grand Theft Auto IV is not one of those games. GTAIV takes the gameplay, storytelling, and general awesomeness of the previous games and makes them bigger and better. Not only that, but you can do things in this game you would hesitate to do in real life. Namely pick up hookers, get lap dances, and jump off the roofs of very tall buildings. Travelinfool called Grand Theft Auto IV, “The most immersive and well thought out open world game to date,” and I could not agree more. That is why Grand Theft Auto IV is the 2008 Four Star Gaming Awards Xbox 360 Game of the Year.

Console of the Year
Hunter Red and Travelinfool: Xbox 360
Winner: Xbox 360

For much of the year, this award was a tossup between the Playstation 3 and the Xbox 360. Then Microsoft rolled out the New Xbox Experience, and while some aspects are a disappointment, overall the NXE greatly added to the Xbox gaming experience. Travelinfool and I agree, “Yet again the most games, the best online system and now Netflix.” That is why the Microsoft Xbox 360 is the Four Star Gaming Awards Console of the Year.

Worst Gaming Moment of the Year
Hunter Red: Old Snake Smoking
Travelinfool: All Games Interactive stopped broadcasting
Winner: All Games Interactive stopped broadcasting

On August 15, 2008, Scot Rubin left popular internet radio show All Games Interactive and said that there were plans to continue the show after his departure. These plans have yet to materialize, and fans of the show have been griping ever since. AGI is a unique show that is as much about the gamers who play games as the games that they play. While Dead Pixel Live and ZapAttack! have tried to fill the void, there is a large gap in Video Game Internet Radio that only All Games Interactive can fill.

Best Gaming Moment of the Year
Hunter Red: Jack Thompson Getting Disbarred
Travelinfool: Everyone playing GTAIV when it came out
Winner: Jack Thompson Getting Disbarred

I hesitate to give an award for this because it amounts to kicking a man when he’s down, but this was a long time coming. Jack Thompson has been making ass backward statements about media he finds objectionable longer than many of us have been willingly consuming media. From 2 Live Crew to Cop Killer to Doom to Manhunt to Grand Theft Auto IV, Jack Thompson has been at the forefront of douchebaggery. Finally Jack Thompson has lost his credibility as a lawyer, and hopefully his credibility in general. I just hope that people continue to spite him by playing games like Grand Theft Auto IV.

Non-Gaming Thing Most Deserving of an Award
Hunter Red and Travelinfool: Barack Obama
Winner: Barack Obama

After eight years of general incompetence under the Bush Administration, people were loudly asking for some relief. We got that relief in Barack Obama. Mr. Obama is a person worthy of the respect that comes with the office of the President. I am proud to say that I supported, contributed to, and voted for Barack Obama.

Overall Game of the Year
Hunter Red: Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots
Travelinfool: Little Big Planet
Winner: Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots

Of all the games released this year, Metal Gear Solid 4 was by far the best in my opinion. I’ve never played a game with this level of graphic storytelling, cutscenes, and music. Metal Gear Solid 4 led a renaissance for the Playstation 3 that, along with Little Big Planet, turned it into a game machine worth buying. Travelinfool said of Little Big Planet, “Overall we’ll get the most gameplay and also learn a thing or two about designing a game.” Overall this was a good year for games, but one has to stand tall as the best of the year, and Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots is that game.

That’s it, the first annual Four Star Gaming Awards is complete. I’d like to thank Travelinfool for his input into these awards. Although I am disappointed that he was the only one to provide input, I look forward to next years awards and next years insights. I’d also like to thank Google, 1UP, and All Games for providing the platforms for the Four Stars Blog, a blog that is directionless and damn proud of it. Also, thanks to Derrick Hopkins, for without him would not be a reality today. Finally, thanks to you, my readers. For without readers, all this would be is a lone red head screaming pointlessly at the darkness. Please join us next year for the 2009 Four Star Gaming Awards.

Batman and the Ruining of the Franchise

It was reported last week that Eddie Murphy was set to play the Riddler in the next Batman film. This comes on the heels of the same publication reporting Cher was set to play Catwoman in the same film. In response, Warner Bros. has decided to announce the current cast and crew of the next Batman film exclusively here on The Four Stars Blog. Here it is.

First of all a new director has been hired for the new movie. Christopher Nolan has been brushed aside for the more well known director of such films as Pearl Harbor and Bad Boys 2, Michael Bay. When asked what he plans to do with the next Batman film, Mr. Bay said, "First of all, I plan to start the movie with an explosion. Then that will lead into another explosion, which leads into a bigger explosion. It's gonna be all like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, BOOM!" When asked about a plot for the film, Mr. Bay replied, "Plot? Plot! Here's your fucking plot! Shit! Blows! Up! The End!"

Controversy arises again in the choice of the actor to play Batman. Christian Bale is out. Instead, another actor has been chosen who breaks the mold of actors to play the caped crusader. This actor is not athletic, not physically attractive, and is generally repulsive when not acting in a comedy. The new actor cast as Batman is none other than Danny DeVito. When asked about this role, Mr DeVito said, "I've wanted to play this role ever since Batman Returns. I even wanted to play Batman in that, but no, they had to go with Michael Keaton. Well, how did that turn out?" When asked about when filming is scheduled, Mr. DeVito said, "Right after filming for the next season of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia ends." When asked what It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is, Mr. DeVito attempted to punch me in the face. However because he's five foot tall, all he accomplished was punching me slightly below my breastbone.

Another controversy comes in the choice of the actor to play Robin. Speculation and rumors have abounded for years about the nature of the relationship between Batman and Robin. It now appears as if Michael Bay is ready to tackle these rumors head on. Mr. Bay has cast the proudly gay Canadian musician Rufus Wainwright as Robin. Mr. Wainwright did make a statement about this, however because of his heavy Canadian accent, I was unable to understand it.

Other roles in the new Batman film, Batman and the Ruining of the Franchise, has yet to be set or cast. Neither has a release date, but expect on that date for nerds across the world to lead a revolution against DC Comics, Warner Brothers Entertainment, and all things connected to Michael Bay. Los Angeles, California is expected to the the first city to be burned to the ground in a style reminiscent of a Michael Bay film.

Peta To Gamers: I'm Not PETA

Recently the political group PETA made waves in the gaming universe by asking for a vegetarian version of Majesco's popular Wii title Cooking Mama. Many gamers reacted in a rage to this call. Some even sent emails to PETA expressing their outrage. As it turns out the rage of gamers may have been directed wrongly.

On his blog, a gamer known only as Fantafan encouraged the outraged to send mail to As it turns out has nothing to do with People For The Ethical Treatment Of Animals. In fact is the official website of La Femme Nikita star Peta Wilson. Seymour Birkoff, who maintains, said, "Traffic to Miss Wilson's site since the Cooking Mama story broke have gone through the roof. This month alone Miss Wilson has received 30,251 pieces of mail, as opposed to the year before where she received 8."

In response, Miss Wilson has posted the following message on her site.
"I feel the need at this time to clear up some rumors involving myself. First, I am not connected to the political action group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. The fact that our names are the same is just a coincidence. Second, no, I will not send you a signed nude photo of myself. Third, and finally, there are no pland for a sixth season of La Femme Nikita. Stop asking!"

Mistakes like this are common, but apologies for this kind of mistake are rare. When I contacted Fantafan to obtain an apology, the only response I got was, "Wanta Fanta, Doncha Wanta?" When pressed further no other response was given. This incident further proves that the internet is filled with a great supply of annoying little shits.

Leopold Stoch Has Nothing To Do With This Guy

This week, Utah state Senator Chris Buttars proposed a non-binding piece of legislation that would compel retailers to say "Merry Christmas" as opposed to "Happy Holidays". This act caused Mr. Buttars to gain national notoriety, most notably on Countdown With Keith Olberman as the "Worst Person In The World".

This is not the first time Chris Buttars has made a comment that embarrassed himself and the people of Utah. Chris Buttars referred to a bill he did not like as a black baby "a dark ugly thing". Mr. Buttars also said that a judge who ruled against a major contributor of his was a activist judge. Finally Chris said that his opponent in an election was gay.

Now these comments alone would be enough to fill a career in politics, but the three comments I referenced are things Chris Buttars has said THIS YEAR! This very year!!! The black baby comment came in February, the activist judge comment was revealed in May, and the opponent is gay comment was revealed this November.

All of this begs one question. Not why Buttars make these comments, but why did the people of his district vote for him? What do they not read the news, not listen to the radio, or even not go outside? How do these people not know who this guy is and what this guy has said?!? HOW?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Save Me from My Senator

I Have Cheated On My Beloved

A couple of years ago someone special came into my life. My life has been unquestionably enhanced since then. I've gone to more restaurants, concerts, and other events in my community. I've become a more open, happier and all around more complete person. All thanks to my beloved Malibu.

Unfortunately this week an accident befell my beloved Malibu. It was completely my fault. I was being careless, reckless, and other forms of stupid. My beloved was not damaged much, but she did have to go in for some work on her sweet luscious body. While she was getting this work done, I was introduced to someone else. Someone who I found quite intriguing. Someone named Ognarud

When I was first introduced to Ognarud I was skeptical because of her size. When I first saw her I openly said, "Damn she's big." We were left alone for a while. I got to know her, she got to know me. She introduced me to her friends Howard, Robin, and Artie. The more I got to know about Ognarud, the more I liked her.

Finally, after much preparation and anxiety, Ognarud and I went for a "ride". It was one of the best "rides" I've ever had. Ognarud's size greatly contributed to my comfort, and eventually my bliss. Ognarud's "riding" style was warm, smooth, and comfortable like no other "ride" before. After the first "ride" Ognarud and I had, I was craving more and more. I was even willing, if not eager, to include Howard and Robin in our "rides". However, I quickly tired of her friend Artie, drug addicts don't agree with me much.

Then I received a call from my beloved Malibu and a flood of guilt came over me. This was not just because I had been cheating on my beloved Malibu, but because I had let a call from my beloved go to voicemail. My beloved had called to tell me that she was fine and her body work would be done by Monday. That's when I knew my tryst was coming to an end.

I will always remember Ognarud and the great times we had together. I look forward to meeting her again, and the many "rides" we will have until I am reunited with my beloved. Who knows, maybe someday Malibu will fall away from my life. This would open the way for Ognarud to be fully and truly integrated into my life. Oh how I will always crave the smooth "ride" of Ognarud.

... and now I care

First they came...

First they passed the federal Definition of Marriage Act, and I did not care because the federal government does a lot of weird things.

Then they passed similar laws in the deep South, and I did not care because the South is crazy.

Then they passed Amendment 3 in Utah, and I did not care because Utah rarely matters.

Then they passed Proposition 8 in California, and I ask myself why I did not care before.

WWE Smackdown Vs Raw 2009 Review

There's a certain kind of person that exists in this world. Sometimes we're aware of him, sometimes we know him, sometimes we are him. That kind of person who when you first meet him is an absolute bore. Nothing intriguing, a bit abrasive, purposely hard to get to know, generally repulsive. However, if you spend some time with this person, get him to open up a little bit, their true self can be revealed. With a little effort, a person like this can be found to be a deep, loyal, and truly gratifying friend.

All of the attributes that I just mentioned can be said of THQ's latest release, WWE Smackdown Vs. Raw 2009. I'll admit it, my first impressions of this game were not positive. I didn't see much of this game outside of being a roster update. However, the more I played it, the more I saw, and the more I liked.

One of the many things I really like about this game is the single player experience. For a couple of years, I've been asking them to do exactly what they did this year. Rather than raving one story driven career mode, they split it up into a career mode and a separate story mode dubbed "Road to Wrestlemania". The Road to Wrestlemania mode contains story lines seemingly inspired by some of the most deep and compelling story arcs in the history of the WWE. Meanwhile, the career mode allows you to take any wrestler you want, even ones of your own creation, and collect every scrap of gold in the WWE.

Throw in create a finisher, Highlight Reel, and the infamous Inferno match, and what you have with WWE Smackdown Vs. Raw 2009 is a game you can continue to play all year long. All you have to do is give it some time, sink your teeth in, and let the game's greatness reveal itself.

WWE Smackdown Vs. Raw 2009: A-

July 7 Now Declared 1337 Day

With the start this week of the lame duck session of congress, there has been talk of the people who represent us really getting down to some good substantive work. However on Wednesday that was proven to be false. Signed into law on Friday was US Federal Act 801-359-9696 making July 7th 1337 Day, or Leet Day.

Leet Day is a day set aside to celebrate all things geek. These things include video games, computers, live action role playing, and really hot anime women. Leet Day came to be in much the same way Valentines Day, Love Day, and Halliburton is Awesome Day did, lots of corporate money. This legislation's sponsors, Harry Reed, Orrin Hatch, and Jim Matheson, all recieved huge contributions from such companies as Microsoft, Electronic Arts, and Activision Blizzard. Gamecock did try to contribute to political campaigns, but were rejected because their name contains the word "cock".

As with anything else involving video games, the Christian Right has reacted to this in a rage. Somehow relevant evangelist Pat Robertson said, "First the liberals execute a hostile takeover of Washington, D.C., then they sign this uproarious legislation, what's next? World Satanist Day sponsored by the UN? Complete civil right for Atheists? Agnowledgement that gays exist!?!"

Family Video Game Advisory Corporation spokesman Ned Flanders said, "The Satanist have taken over. I'm going home to protect my family from the upcoming mandatory liberal sponsored child sex bus. Why has God forsaken us?"

And, of course, Jack Thompson had something to say. However, the only people around to take down what he said was his fifteen cats, his long suffering wife, and the one guy left who totally believes everything he says.

Leet Day coming July 7th to be celebrated at the 15,796,784 Gamestop locations across the country, including the nine within driving distance of your parent's basement.

Is Miyamoto Overprotective?

With it's release last month, Wii Music has been referred to as "Miyamoto's Baby". That turns out to be more of a factual statement than a joke. Today it was revealed that when the first reviews for Wii Music started rolling in, Shigeru Miyamoto reacted like a mother whose newborn child has been criticized, with vitriolic hatred.

Last month a review penned by Redertainment writer Thomas Anderson, called Wii Music "a simplified and shallow game with childish graphics, patronizing music, and downright dumb gameplay." Mr. Anderson ended his review by saying, "I would never wish this game on anybody. F-"

When this review reached him, Mr. Miyamoto said, "How can he say something like that? Doesn't he see the bright ray of sunshine my latest release is!?!" He went on to say, "I bet he's just jealous that I have people who are willing to help me release things and he doesn't. If he had his own game, I bet he'd change his tune!"

Thomas Anderson stands behind his review of Wii Music. He said, "I've had to deal with a lot of crap lately. Between the fake news story, cybernetic parasites, and meetings with dudes in full suits and sunglasses, I don't need anymore of this!" Mr. Anderson then took some red pill, picked up the phone, and mysteriously disappeared.

Like many other games, blurbs from reviews of Wii Music are expected to be printed on the package of the game. However, unlike other games, only reviews from people who have brought wonder bundles of digital entertainment into this world are to be featured. These people include Hideo Kojima, Jade Raymond, and the notorious game making cannon Peter Molyneux.

Detachable Playstation Controller A Hoax

This week, a story broke about a detachable Playstation controller, with great detail given as to how this controller would work. From the moment this story hit online people were openly skeptical about it. Dead Pixel Live co-host Alphabox openly said on last Thursday's episode, "This story is fake." As it turns out, they are right.

The man responsible for this hoax is writer Thomas Anderson, an employee of the Redertainment Corporation Of America. R.C.O.A. President Seifer Kinneas acknowledged this in a statement earlier today. He said, "We here at the Redertainment Corporation Of America are embarrassed by the actions of one of our young employees. The Redertainment Corporation Of America wholeheartedly apologizes for this and are working to ensure that this never happens again." This is not the first time that my fellow employee has tried something like this. Mr. Anderson is responsible for such stories as "Valiant Soldier", "Is The Club A Recruitment Tool?", and "Sarah Palin: Certified Hypnotist".

When I asked him about this, Thomas Anderson has the following to say. "I was just sitting in the offices with a deadline looming and no idea how to fulfill my commitments. Like I do when I'm stressed, I started doodling. That day I was doodling my vision of the dildo of the future when Mr. Kinneas came around and asked me what I was doing. So I lied. I said I was drawing a new design for a detachable Playstation controller. Mr. Kinneas said he was pleased by this and wanted to see me develop it. I then proceeded to pull a story out of my ass."

It is unknown what kind of consequences will fall down on Thomas Anderson, that decision is expected to be made this week. It is known that Thomas has been asked by several people to produce the dildo he designed. These people include Mr. Kinneas' wife Crystal Motoko, my girlfriend Evey Hammond, and former DPL host Raven Fraiser.

How you can help with The First Annual Four Stars Gaming Awards

Dear Sir or Madam,

The time has come for the planning stages of the first annual Four Star Gaming Awards. The awards are set to be announced on December 31, 2008 on my blogs on All Games Community, 1UP, and of course The Four Stars Blog itself at

So why do I send out this message to you, because I am asking for your help. My vision for these awards is to not just reflect the viewpoints of myself, but those who read my blog and have viewpoints of their own. However, you viewpoints can not be reflected in the Four Star Gaming Awards if you do not participate in them.

So I ask you to look over the award categories and come up with what you think should win in one, or if you so inclined, all categories. Also, write a little blurb about why you think this thing should win an award. If your reason is compelling enough, you just might be a credited and quoted blurbist in this The First Annual Four Stars Gaming Awards. However, in order to be included, your viewpoints must be submitted to me, preferably by e-mail at, by Saturday, December 13th. That way I can ensure that this award show goes off on time.

Categories for the Four Stars Gaming Awards include:
Xbox 360 Game of the Year
PS3 Game of the Year
Wii Game of the Year
Download Game of the Year
Overall Game of the Year
Console of the Year
Best Gaming Moment of the Year
Worst Gaming Moment of the Year
Non-Gaming Thing Most Deserving of an Award

Thank You For Your Time
Hunter Red

Tom Clancy's Xerox Copyer

One of the features in Tom Clancy's EndWar is the ability to control the action via voice control. Here now is a sample of people using the feature.

"Attack. Attack red unit. Alpha Squad 7, attack red unit. Why won't you attack? Wait, Alpha Squad 7, attack the brown people. That didn't work either. Why aren't you attacking? What do you mean "does not recognize voice input"? Oh fuck it.

"Wait, now they're doing something. Yes, they're advancing toward the enemy, and- What are they doing? Alpha Squad 7 is taking off their uniforms and- Oh you've gotta be kidding me. Why the fuck are they showing me this, and why the fuck is Alpha Squad 7 fucking the enemy. God damn it!

"Where the fuck did that lightening bolt come from? What do you mean "Holy Vengeance Activated"? You don't listen to me when I give orders clearly outlined in the manual, but you listen to me when I say random bullshit! Guess now I know what it's like to raise a teenager. Now the Archangel is here, there's the Four Horsemen, and an angel who looks a lot like Matt Damon.

"Wait, let me try something. Brothel "Transportation Commencing". Now I'm in a completely different place. The signs are in a foreign text, so I don't know where I am, but it looks like a tightly packed, highly populated city in Asia. Also, it appears Alpha Squad 7 has been replaced with a lone little boy. That's strange. Okay, now there's this guy tapping me on the shoulder, he must be my guide for this mission. He's an extremely tall white guy who looks rather creepy to be honest. "Follow man." Okay the guy is leading me into a shabbily put together building. Now I'm in a room bathed in red light with this guy. Why is my guide taking his clothes off?

"Okay, fuck this game. I'm turning off the game, turning off my TV, and now I'm going to vomit. That is fucking disgusting! Why would a game like that come out of the mind of a conservative like Tom Clancy? Guess I know the next game to be a lightening rod for anti-video game groups. Fuck. I need to purge that imagery from my mind. I'm going to a strip club."

So there you have it, sample dialog from someone using the voice control feature in Tom Clancy's EndWar, a game that promises to be the end of video games as we know it.

Red Apologies

Recently Sony decided to recall Little Big Planet after concerns were raised over possible objectionable lyrics. Sony's actions have caused me to issue an apology of my own.

When I was seven, I was playing in the backyard with my friends. We were throwing the football around and, because of my athletic incompetence, I threw the football over the fence. When I hopped the fence to retrieve it, I discovered that I had smashed my neighbor's prized lawn gnome.

Being the good little boy I was, I admitted to it right away. I spent the next month mowing lawns and pulling weeds so I could buy my neighbor a new gnome, which I did. This incident, as well as my effort to repent for it, caused me to get to know my neighbor and become friends with him and his family. This is how I learned he was an Evangelical.

At this time, out of an overabundance of caution, I would like to apologize to the entire Evangelical faith for smashing that lawn gnome. My actions were misguided, not malicious. While I know that I can never make amends to you all for my destructive act, I hope you can accept my apology. Please don't use me as fuel for your next general objectionable media burning.

Namco Bailout Emminent?

After multi-billion dollar bailouts of Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, AIG, among others, the US Treasury is contemplating an over five hundred billion dollar toward a company based outside the US. The Bush Administration is set to infuse 522.80 Billion dollars into video game developer Namco.

Namco's rise and fall is typical of other recent bailout firms. They started well, gobbling up a seemingly endless line of capital with all consequences seemingly ignoring them. A couple of huge capital packages and some fruitful investments later, they turned their momentum skyward. This is when the trouble started. Their confidence, bordering on arrogance, was increased exponentially when they evaded the "ghosts" of their past and continued to swallow capital whole, seemingly oblivious to the possibility of a crash. It all came down on Namco on October 10th when the consequences surrounded them, available capital was non-existent, and the Pac-Man purveyor found itself a part of the Nikkei largest single day point loss in twenty years.

At their meeting on October 11th, the finance ministers of the world's richest countries announced a coordinated effort to infuse troubled banks with capital to make up for losses in the housing market. The Bush Administration also announced plans to buy stock in foreign companies that do business in the US, and Namco is one of the first.

MSNBC analyst and host of Mad Money Jim Cramer said about this deal, "THE WORLD IS FALLING APART!!! PEOPLE ARE THROWING AROUND MONEY RECKLESSLY!!! NOBODY KNOWS ANYTHING ABOUT ANYTHING!!! GAHHHHHK!!!" Shortly after making these comments, Mr. Cramer was taken to the hospital after suffering a heart attack.

Disgraced former lawyer Jack Thompson said about this deal, "How can a good, wholesome leader like George W Bush sign off on infusing money into a Godless company like Namco. How can companies like this continue to exist in the face of- GAHHHHHK!!!" Shortly after making these comments, Mr. Thompson was taken to the mortuary after being shot in the face by an unidentified red-headed satirist. A recording of this heroic figure can be found here: Zap Attack! Episode 1

This deal is being strongly objected to by the Democratic Congress, which is why it's expected to go through easily. This is because while Nancy Pelosi has bigger balls than Harry Reid, they both are nothing compared to the set on Condoleezza Rice.


I received a text message on Friday telling me a very special product had been made available. So I got in my car, ran down to my local independent record store (Graywhale), and got three things.

The first is this:

Keane- Perfect Symmetry
This is a band that I've been in to for a while now. I plan to listen to it at work on Saturday.

The second is...

Nightmare Revisited
I bought this because there's a Korn song on the CD, and I LOVE KORN!!!

The third is this:

Little Big Planet for PS3
That's right. I got one of the most hotly anticipated games for the PS3 on the Friday before the street date. Not pirated, not a beta, a totally legit and complete copy of the game. Just goes to show the value of frequenting your local independent record store. Sometimes you can get cool shit like this. Hahahahah!!!

So, what do I think of it? I can't tell you because I haven't played it yet! That's the great thing about buying games, you can take your sweet time getting around to playing it. I'll probably get around to playing it on Sunday though, so come look for me when you finally get your copy.

PSN Name: Redertainment

Details Annouced For Dance Hero

On September 27th, it was found that Activision had trademarked the name "Dance Hero". To this point, few details have been released on this game. Now, we here at the Redertainment News Network (RNN) have recieved exclusive details on this highly anticipated game. We present this to you here.

First of all, Dance Hero will not be a DDR knockoff. Activision chief Robert Kotick said, "While Dance Dance Revolution is a popular game, it does not hit the wide audience we strive to reach with every game we put out." Instead, Dance Hero will incorporate a number of different dance styles. From tap to ballet, from the foxtrot to swing dancing to dirty dancing. This will be accomplished by way of a new peripheral, a six foot by six foot free form dancepad that when not in use doubles as an area rug. This dancepad will feature no buttons, a soft cotton top, and a design that can be customized to match that carpet your parents bought on an acid trip.

In addition to the gameplay and the dancepad peripheral, details have been given to us about the boss stages. Here are several of them:

A stage set in a Cold War era Russian auditorium against renowned Russian ballet star Rudolf Nureyev.

A boss battle on the set of "Singing In The Rain" against Gene Kelly.

A boss battle on the set of Bright Eyes against Shirley Temple.

A boss battle on the Sesame Street set against Savion Glover.

And, in our last exclusive boss battle annoucement, a stage set in a summer camp in the Catskill Mountains against Patrick Swayze.

A release date has not been set for Dance Hero. However when it is released, expect Christian Coalition Corporation groups to object strongly to Dance Hero, because, as we all know, dancing is akin to satanism.

Nintendo Super Wii Confirmed

Like all of the other next-gen systems, rumors of the successor to the Nintendo Wii have been going around since the console's release. Some have even joked, "The next Nintendo platform, the Urinate, will consist of three Gamecubes duct taped together." Gamers have been crying out for a true next-gen high-def console from Nintendo, however Nintendo has seemingly ignored them. Nintendo has seemingly taken a cue from Capcom's latest release Mega Man 9. At this weeks Tokyo Game Show, Nintendo unveiled to the public their next console: The Nintendo Super Wii.

Among other features, the Nintendo Super Wii has a 16 bit core, can output 32768 colors, and has a 16 bit stereo output. The Super Wii does feature an internal storage of 8 GB, equal to the size of the hard drive in the original Xbox. The Super Wii is not expected to have online capabilities, but that may change depending on whether or not the internet can be purged of all content not suitable for children. My guess would be no.

Reaction from the gaming public has been mixed. AGISoundboard has been quoted as saying, "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT!!!" ArvicolinaeLemmini said, "I love Nintendo and all that it does. I look forward to once again putting on my PJs, getting some cereal, and playing Super Mario all day long. Just like I did 20 years ago, in the same house too!" And finally, IHEART360 said, "Nintendo? Fuck that! I look forward to the day that Nintendo collapses, Microsoft buy them, and they release a game where i can use Master Chief to ruthlessly slaughter that bitch Mario. All hail Xbox!!!"

The Nintendo Super Wii is expected to be released in time for Holiday 2009, however, given Nintendo's track record, it will probably be readily available in Spring 2011.

By the way, for those of you who care, I now own my own website
Following in the steps of Peter Molynuex, I plan to have it up now, and in about a week or so, add stuff that is funny.

Response From Jason Chaffetz

For those of you who did not listen to Orange Lounge Radio, on Sunday I set out to craft an e-mail to ilicit a response from the two main candidates running for Congress in my district.  I attempted to do so in a way that would not offend they who I do not respect, and hopefully get a response from them.  I sent e-mails to Jason Chaffetz and Bennion Spencer.  On Wednesday, I recieved a response from Mr. Chaffetz.  I have posted it, and my reply to it here.  Note: Some names have been changed to protect the red.


Mr. Chaffetz's Response


Date: Wed, 1 Oct 2008 07:35:30 -0600

Subject: Re: A Voter Looking For More Information About You

you for the email.  Honestly, I am not familiar with the proposed
legislation.  Please forward me the bill number, etc. so I can review


You can learn more about my campaign at  Thank you, Jason Chaffetz

On Sun, Sep 28, 2008 at 9:52 PM, Hunter Red <> wrote:

Dear Sir,

I am a voter living in
the third congressional district, which you are running to represent. 
Unfortunately, I do not know much about you, and I do strive to be a
well informed voter, which is why I am writing this e-mail to you
today.  I am curious as to what you feel are the main issues is this
election and how you feel about them. 

There is one issue I do want your opinion on.  I am curious how you
feel about the currently pending federal legislation that has to do
with restricting Mature rated video games to minors.  As an avid video
game player, this issue is of great importance to me.  While my opinion
of you may not hinge on this issue, it will sway it heavily.

Thank you for reading my e-mail today, and, hopefully, your response.

Hunter Red


Jason Chaffetz

My Response To Mr. Chaffetz

Dear Jason,

First of all, thank you for your response.  I also sent an message to
your opponent, and the fact that you responded first is a big plus to

As far as your request for the bill number, there are actually three
bills pending in the Congress that pertain to video games.  These bills
Video Game Decency Act of 2007 – H.R. 1531
Truth in Video Game Rating Act – S. 568
Children Protection from Video Game Violence & Sexual Content Act – H.R. 2958

There are also a number of states that have similar laws that are
either passed, on judicial appeal, or have been struck down.  One that
particularity concerns me is California's “Ultra violent Video Games” 
- Assembly Bills 1792 & 1793.  The reason this bill concerns me is
that this is basically the same bill as Louisiana's HB 1381, which was
stuck down in November 2006.  I have already resigned myself to the
fact that some sort of legislation will materialize to reign in the
availability of violent video games to minors, but methods like this
seem to not be productive.  After all, how effective can a law be that
is struck down?  More info about legislation of this nature can be
found here:

Again, thank you for responding to me, and I hope to hear more from you in the future

Hunter Red

Nearly A Thousand Headcrabs Released In Rural Neighborhood

Residents of St Austell had a good excuse to leave church early on Saturday. Church goers were aroused from the pulpit to go out and catch a number of headcrabs released from a local headcrab farm.

Vandals released nearly a thousand headcrab Sunday from a farm that specializes in raising headcrabs for clothing and accessory purposes. These were released by the recognized terrorist organization Alien Liberation Front or ALF. Most of the headcrab were caught and returned to the farm unharmed, however about 10% were found dead. Most of the dead headcrabs were either smashed with crowbars or attached to dumb people.

Residents in St Austell said this was quite a scene. Dahlia Malloy said, "The Bishop told us to go home and help round up these creatures. When I got home, I saw one on my porch. I was like "Ahhh! Don't infect me with your alien, homosexual thoughts!" One boy, described as retarded, said, "I saw one in my yard and I said, "Look an otter." I thought it was an otter."

A representative from the Fur Commision United Kingdom (FCUK) released a statement today. "These actions taken by this terrorist organization do nothing but harm the animals they mean to "liberate". These animals can't even survive out of their pens. The FCUK fervently condemns the actions taken by the ALF. Are you laughing? What are you laughing about? The FCUK takes this very seriously!"

Officials are investigating who from the ALF was responsible for this headcrab release. Police have issued warrants for ALF members Tom Patchett, Paul Fusco and Gordon Shumway. Police are also asking for the public's help in identifying the person featured in this video.

The Red Interview- Professor Robert Tennant

Good evening. This is The Red Interview, and I am your host Hunter Red. This week our guest is Doctor Robert Tennant. He is a professor of Physics at Oxford and a member of the International Organization of Christian Physicist (IOCP). Doctor Tennant currently resides in Cardiff with his wife and seven children.

Hunter Red- So Doctor Tennant, what kind of video games do you play?
Professor Robert Tennant- Excuse me?
H- What kinds of video games do you play?
P- Um, I don’t play video games.
H- Excuse me? I contacted you about doing an interview for my video game blog. You seemed very enthusiastic about it.
P- I’m a physicists. Most people aren’t interested in interviewing physicists.
H- I don’t run a physics blog.
P- I’m sorry.
H- You know, that’s fine, we can talk about other things. What do you think of Pineapple Express?
P- Excuse me?
H- Pineapple Express?
P- What is that, some sort of train?
H- No, it’s a movie.
P- Oh, what’s it about?
H- It’s about these two guys who are trying to evade some dope dealers.
P- What are they, making dynamite?
H- No. What does dynamite have to do with dope?
P- Dope is the term used for the material they add nitroglycerin to make dynamite.
H- Oh, I didn’t know that.
P- Most people don’t.
H- Well, I meant marijuana. Pineapple Express is considered a drug movie.
P- Oh. You don’t smoke that stuff, do you?
H- Sometimes, at parties? Do you?
P- Hell no.
H- Really, why not? Did you have a bad experience?
P- No, I’m Mormon.
H- So, you’ve had no experiences?
P- I’m out of here.
H- Thank you for your time Doctor.

Well, that’s it for The Red Interview for today. Join us next time when our guest will be Uwe Boll and our topic will be beating film makers with a club. See you then.

Who Killed Amanda Palmer Review

There is a certain type of women who I can fall for in an instant. These are women who are highly intelligent, undeniably beautiful, and funny while maintaining their dignity. Two women who instantly come to mind that posses these qualities are Natalie Portman and Amanda Palmer.

I fell in love with Amanda Palmer the first time I saw her. I had been listening to The Dresden Dolls for some time, but it wasn't until I saw Amanda and her bandmate Brian Viglione that I truly started to appreciate The Dresden Dolls and Amanda Palmer. Through her music, Amanda expresses a quirkiness that is much sought after but rarely found, along with a natural fragility and a lack of boundaries. The Dresden Dolls are a great band that I would recommend to anyone.

Amanda Palmer brings the same approach to her first solo album Who Killed Amanda Palmer This album has a delicateness and emotional rawness that had me on the verge of tears. Who Killed Amanda Palmer's mix of piano, strings, percussion, and vocals is at times beautiful, tragic, grand, romantic, and obscene. There are very few musicians that evoke an emotional response from me, Amanda Palmer has done just that.

Who Killed Amanda Palmer is a great CD by a great artist who really should be more popular than she is. Everybody within the sound of my keyboard should at least give Miss Palmer a chance to enter their musical consciousness, and maybe their heart.

The Motto Of The Bush Administration

White House Press Secretary Dana Perino has been taking a number of personal days lately. She's not seriously ill and doesn't have any business or housing dealings to deal with, so rumors are spreading about what Miss Perino is doing with her free time. These rumors began to flourish after she was spotted with some condoms, a bottle of spermicidal lubricant, and a young college student pictured here.

When Dana takes one of these personal days, the Daily White House Press Conferences are usually handled by White House Assistant Press Secretary Ellen McLain. Ellen is a relatively young and inexperienced so the statements she has made on behalf of the Bush Administration have been embarrassing for her and her employer. A clear example of this occurred on Friday.

When pressed by reporters about the recent government bailouts and President Bush's previous statements on the matter, Miss McLain launched into a furious rant about many various topics. One of her more significant quotes is "Do you even know the secret motto of the Bush White House? Well I do because it's been drilled into my head by the Office of the Vice President since I started here. That motto is "Bush White House: We do what we must because we can, for the good of all of us, except the ones who are dead"" Miss McLain also said, "The Bush White House doesn't care about poor people. They only see you as puppets to be used, manipulated, soiled, then tossed into the rubbish heap!" Finally, Ellen said, "The Bush White House is a collection of rich, old, fat, white men who only serve to make stacks of sweaty cash for other rich, old, fat, white men."

On Saturday, Ellen McLain resigned from her position as White House Assistant Press Secretary. In a statement, Miss McLain said that she wanted to spend more time with her family. Miss McLain's family consists of a cat named Mr. Witz, and a vibrator she calls Tony.

Sony Executives Unite To Admit Failure

TOKYO --Sony pulled the plug on its Playstation 3 game machine today, saying that it would suffer a record loss by ending production of the console in March in a dramatic refocusing by the company.

Promising to shift its focus to content development, the company immediately announced plans to make games for the Palm Pilot.

The world's third-biggest maker of game hardware said the end of Playstation 3 will generate 80 billion yen ($689 million) in extraordinary losses, leading to a consolidated net loss of 58.3 billion yen for the fiscal year ending on March 31.

That exceeded analysts' forecasts for a 50 billion yen special loss to abandon Playstation 3, the world's first Blu-ray video game machine when it was launched in 2006.

Sony’s dream of dominating the market with the world's first Blu-ray console wired for online gaming quickly became a nightmare as the machine floundered against smoother, faster rivals from Microsoft and Nintendo.

"We will rapidly shift our focus to the content business," Sony said in a statement today. He promised new Sony games for Palm Inc.'s handheld computers would be out by the end of the year.

"Once we start applying our development effort to bring characters like Kratos to a Palm, I think you will see the business model open up immediately," SCEA president Kazuo Hirai told Reuters.

U.S. sales of personal digital assistants, such as the popular Palm Pilot, more than doubled in 2000, according to industry data, in sharp contrast to slack growth in the personal computer market.

Palm dominated with a market share of 78 percent in 1999, according to research firm NPD Intelect. Hirai said Palm users will increasingly seek out compelling games for the handheld devices.

"The ability to get quality games moving forward in either premium pay-for-play or a subscription-based model is becoming more relevant to that consumer," he said.

An 85 billion yen fund injection by Sony chairman Sir Howard Stringer will help staunch the red ink, and most analysts applauded Playstation’s end as a key step towards returning to profitability. Sony is facing four straight years of losses.

"This is positive in a sense that bleeding is finally going to be staunched," said Hajime Yagi, senior portfolio manager at Meiji Dresdner Asset Management. "Sony would be able to make the better use of its strong team of software creators by letting them make games for more widely used consoles, rather than Playstation 3."

Sony said it will now focus on returning to the black by providing game software content and entertainment titles to other video-game makers, including Nintendo and Microsoft.

"Up until now, our business model was to sell a variety of software for a single affordable game machine ... but maintaining the balance between our hardware and software enterprises while securing profits has become extremely difficult," Sony said.

Analysts said Sony’s tough decision to exit what it considered its core business was encouraging and would push the company back into the black in the next business year.

Sony said it will continue making games for existing Playstation machines, but analysts said it would be better off it concentrated on making games for machines like Nintendo’s Wii system, the world's top-selling next generation video-game machine.

"In a best case scenario under which Sony completely stops developing games for the Playstation, the shares would have the potential to rise to 2,500 yen," said Daiwa Institute of Research analyst Eiji Maeda said.

The move came as no surprise to the industry and investors after Sony said last week it was considering such a move, although it would continue to focus on its software business and to support the machine with software.

Sales of the Playstation 3 have struggled since its launch just under two years ago in the face of strong competition from Microsoft’s Xbox consoles, including the new Internet-enabled and DVD (digital versatile disc) video-playing Xbox 360.

Sony slipped deep into the red, managing to sell 14.41 million Playstation 3 machines worldwide by the end of June 2008, compared to the 29.62 million Wiis shipped by Nintendo at the end of June.

Not surprisingly, its new rival in the game software market, Electronics Arts, said that Sony will face a tough struggle to provide software for other platforms. Sony will be handicapped by its unfamiliarity with the programming requirements of rival consoles and the long development cycle for video games.

"They're starting from scratch," said John Riccitiello, CEO of EA, which is the top game vendor for Microsoft’s Xbox 360 in the United States.

"It's not quite as though this is GM saying we'll make BMWs, but it's the same kind of proposition," Riccitiello said. "They may look like BMWs, but I doubt if they'll drive like BMWs."

For the full effect of this article, please click on the two links at the top of this document.

Nine Inch Nails 9/3/2008

On May 10th, I purchased tickets for a concert to be held at the E Center on Wednesday, September 3rd. On August 10th I found a way to do more than simply enjoy myself at that concert. For my first essay as a part of this assignment, I went to see Nine Inch Nails.

The tickets said the concert started at eight o’clock, and for a rock concert it started amazingly promptly, at 8:05. The opener for the night was Deerhunter. Their sound can be best described as similar to Angels in Airwaves with some Nirvana and The Clash influences. I could not identify any of the songs Deerhunter played because this was the first time I had ever heard them, but I thought they were pretty good. There wasn’t a discernable hit song in their set, but Deerhunter looked to be fairly young so maybe they just need to develop more. Deerhunter served as a pretty good appetizer for the main course that the audience was more than eager to consume.

Forty minutes after Deerhunter’s thirty-five minute set, the headlining act began. At that point the crowd on the floor started to compact, and I was right in the front of it. For the first part of the headliners set, I was desperately trying to stay upright in a crushing mass of hot sweaty humanity. My vision was obstructed, I was stepped on, elbowed, and nearly had my ribs cracked. After about forty-five minutes, I extricated myself from the front, got a drink of water, and spent the rest of the headliners two hour performance near the back, where the situation was considerably better.

The headlining act for the concert was Nine Inch Nails. Nine Inch Nails is a much beloved band that is credited as one of the acts that defined the Industrial music genre. The members of this band utilize vocals, guitars, basses, drums, synthesizers, and pianos to create a sound that is a collection of contradictions. They are loud and delicate, chaotic and controlled, obscene and glorious. Nine Inch Nails’ frontman Trent Reznor’s use of melody, countermelody, and multiple climaxes had earned his praise from his peers, his fans, and music critics.

At the concert I attended, Nine Inch Nails performed songs from their entire career, with focus on work from their last two albums, The Slip and Year Zero. These songs include Ecoplex, Hurt, Survivalism, and Terrible Lie. In addition to music, Nine Inch Nails employs on impressive light display for their concerts. This includes a drop down LED video display that, from the right vantage point, is reminiscent of stage displays used by one of Nine Inch Nails’ greatest influences, Pink Floyd.

Overall, I thought this concert was quite excellent, except for the forty-five minutes I spent with my health endangered. It’s not the best concert I’ve been to this year, but it is the best rock show. My compliments go out to Mr. Trent Reznor and the rest on Nine Inch Nails for a great night.

Braid Review

Braid is a game that is getting a lot of talk after it's release on the Xbox Live Arcade. It has a Metacritic average of 93, it received an A+ from 1UP, and has been generally seen as the best XBLA game to come out in a while.

After hearing this praise, I thought I might like to play Braid. I got the demo, played around with it for a while, and then decided not to buy it. I have one overarching reason why I didn't buy it, and that was not price. Considering that we, as a gaming public, willingly and often spend $60 for games, $15 for a great game seems like a bargain. My reason for not buying Braid can be wrapped up in five words. These are words I have said often, in fact, when I was three years old, I said these exact words to my mother. I can't fucking see anything.

Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I must admit several things. First, I have a 27 inch TV. Second, I sit nine and a half feet from my TV. Third, I have 20/42 vision and need glasses in order to see. However, with most games, none of this is a problem. I played MGS4 with no problem seeing things. I played Bioshock with no problems seeing things. I played Dr. Mario RX with no problem seeing things. The only other game I've played that I've run into sight related problems is N+. Although, I must admit, I also strongly object to N+'s portrayal of people with extreme anorexia.

Now, most people in this position would not give a grade to his game, but I am not most people, and am quite proud of that. The grade I am giving Braid XBLA is E. E, as in E,F,P,T,O,Z.