Have you ever felt like you were alone? Completely and utterly alone? There’s absolutely no one around you at all. You can hear every footstep, every breath, every utterance echo like you were in a great cavern. Have you ever felt like you were alone?
I have experienced this on several occasions. Afterward, I always dwell on why I feel this overwhelming sense of aloneness. I now believe I know why: I go to movies at 10:30 AM on Sunday morning. It’s not that I feel alone when I catch the Sunday matinee, I literally am alone. It surprises me that the theater continues to play movies that this time, they’ve got to be losing money when they play a movie to only one person.
The most recent encounter I had with aloneness came when I went to see (500) Days Of
Summer. It’s really a shame that I saw this movie alone because it is really quite good. It’s sweet, romantic, tragic, funny, and most importantly real. This isn’t some saccharin infused unrealistic vision of a romantic relationship, Zoey Deschenel and Joseph Gordon-Leavitt feel like real people in a real relationship, one which I hope to engage in someday.
(500) Days Of Summer: B+
Moore Vs. Cruise: It’s On!
Have any of you heard any news come out of French Guiana recently? Have any of you heard anything come out of French Guiana recently? No, you haven’t. The last little blurb to come out about French Guiana was speculation that it was going to be the location of the next Home Alone movie, Home Alone 5: Another French Mistake
Why is this the case? Why has this country on the northern edge of South America seemingly fallen off the map? After exhaustively researching I have come across the reason why French Guiana has fallen silent. In 2003 French Guiana underwent a military coup. This coup was done, not by a force inside French Guiana nor a foreign power, by a private military force controlled by a major American corporation. This American corporation transformed French Guiana into a secret military base, with an arsenal bigger than Fort Dix, Camp Lejeune, and Blackwater Securities combined. Who is this American corporation? Electronic Arts.
Why does Electronic Arts have a private military force? Two reasons. One, they have to do something with the money they make off of Madden. Two, to combat another secretive organization’s even more secretive private military force. Electronic Arts is based in Los Angeles, California. Los Angeles is also the location of the Church of Scientology’s International Center. The Church of Scientology’s International Center maintains a group called “Sea Org”.
The Sea Org is described as “an association of Scientologists established in 1968 by L. Ron Hubbard, the science fiction writer and founder of Scientology. Its members are found in the central management organizations of the Church of Scientology as well as in individual churches.” The public face of Sea Org appears to be peaceful but delve deeper and you will find something interesting. The Sea Org owns a fleet of Russian manufactured nuclear submarines. Where are these submarines now? Contrary to recent media reports, the Russian submarines patrolling the American Atlantic seaboard are not Russian military, but are in fact staffed and owned by the Sea Org.
What proof do we have that these subs are owned by the Church of Scientology? Eye witness reports from two credible non-inebriated sources. The first is from Celeste, a college student from North Carolina.
“I was at the beach with my boyfriend, Ian, when I saw a black object far out in the water. I found a pair of binoculars and looked at the thing and was shocked to see a real life submarine. I continued to look at it, completely ignoring my dreamy boyfriend, when I saw the hatch open and three heads pop out of it. I couldn’t identify these people at first, but after a second I realized who they were: Tom Cruise, the musician Beck, and Will Smith. When I realized this, I was like, “Huh, that’s weird.””
A second eye witness account comes from Derrick, an IT specialist from Virginia.
“I was hanging out with some female co-workers near the opening of the Chesapeake Bay when this huge black submarine surfaced. My co-workers asked me to go over and see if the submarine was hostile because, apparently, the only time they see me as a man is when they need to protect them. I walked along the beach and got as close to the sub as I can. Then I noticed a man in a wetsuit walking along the top of the submarine. The man jumped off the submarine into the water and began swimming toward me. When the man reached me he asked if I wanted to have my phaetons tested. I respectfully declined but directed the man over to my co-worker because they’ve annoyed me for years, here’s an opportunity for payback.”
The EA Army has yet to respond to this action by the Sea Org. However, people in military uniforms with EA logos on them have been seen walking around near Tom Cruise’s house. Mr. Cruise responded by jumping on his couch and daring people to shoot him. Katie Holmes gave her usual response to this, none.
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