Gay Mexican Reality Show Producers

The Red Identity

There are times that I am really grateful to have access to Twitter and Facebook. Everyday that I log into these social media platforms I receive a reaffirmation of my identity. Everyday that I log into these social media platforms I know again that I am Hunter F. Red. There is a reason that I need this reaffirmation.

Ever since I got my new cellphone, the awesome Droid X which is awesome, I keep on getting these calls from people looking for a man named "Tyler". Over and over again, people will call me and ask for "Tyler". Old people, church going people, rednecks, people calling from jail, women who sound attractive, all sorts of people looking for "Tyler". At first I believed that these people were calling the wrong number, but despite the passing of time these calls persisted. It's gotten to the point where I now get more calls looking for "Tyler" than looking for "Hunter". There is a reason I put "Hunter" in quotation marks. Once I realized that people were looking more for "Tyler" than for "Hunter", I began to question things. What if these people are actually looking for me? What if these people are looking for me and asking for who they think I am? What if I actually am Tyler?

These pervasive and persistent question rack my brain day and night. I am beginning to question my very identity. I am beginning to question the very foundation of who I am. It's at times like this that I turn to Twitter and Facebook and other places where I established my identity, my identity as Hunter Red. I even look at more concrete places. I reach into my pocket, pull out my wallet, open it up, and look at my driver's license, and the name on it that read-

Wait. What? Are you- No. Who the- How come- Huh? Who is this Parker?



The Producer's Cookbook

Pierce Tapp is a thirty-eight year old white male. He has long had problems with the control exerted by the federal government, rising immigration rates, and more and more control being taken by people he deems as "impure". Pierce has long thought of taking action to rectify the problem he sees. Now he is doing it. Pierce is in his garage putting together the pieces of his long held dream.

"Okay, I've gone through the long exhaustive process of getting all of the right elements together in just the right amounts. Now, to put them together. First, I need fertilizer. I am not the first to use fertilizer in this fashion, but it seems to have worked out beautifully for people in the past. To act as an explosive agent, gasoline. Not too much gasoline, you don't want to drown out the mixture. Just enough to add the necessary spice. Providing the spark, this blasting cap. Finding blasting caps of a sufficient quality for this project was hard, but it will certainly be worth it. Now, for a container. I guess I'll have to go with this barrel I found out by the oil refinery. I'd like to use an old panel van, but people might be able to find out about the container, connect it to the people who produce it, then the whole thing will be shot to hell. Add in some ball bearing and sharp nails to add some really destructive elements to the mix. Well, there you have it. Once what I have expertly crafted is exposed to the public, the result will be spectacular."

Katrina Clemmons is a thirty-five year old female television executive. She has long watched the reality programming on other cable channels. She's seen shows like The Real World, The Bachelor, and I Love Money, and has seen the great success these shows have brought these networks. Now she wants to do it. Now she wants to create a reality show of her own. Katrina is in her office putting together the pieces of her long held dream.

"Okay, I've gone through the long exhaustive process of getting all of the right elements together in just the right amounts. Now, to put them together. First, I need some college students. I am not the first to use college students in this fashion, but it seems to have worked out beautifully for people in the past. To act as an explosive agent, different races. Not too much diversity, you wouldn't want to drown out the mixture of whites, blacks, latinos, and other combustable minorities. Providing the spark, gays. Finding gays of a sufficient flamboyant nature for this project was hard, but it will certainly be worth it. Now, for a place for these people to live. I guess I'll have to go with that loft we found off the 405. I'd like to use that complex in Queens, but people might be able to find out about the complex, connect it to the people who will be producing the show, then the whole thing will be shot to hell. Add in large amounts of alcohol to add some really destructive elements to the mix. Well, there you have it. Once what I have expertly crafted is exposed to the public, the result will be spectacular."



Rainbow Thoughts

On Friday night, the New York State Legislature voted to legalize gay marriage in New York state. Many are lauding this as a major breakthrough in gay rights. I, however, am skeptical. As much as I think gay marriage is a great thing and support it being the law of the land, the political junkie in me is raising red flags about this move. The political junkie in me believes that this is just a move done by politicians to give them more material to run on. By that I don't mean giving Democratic politicians more material to run on, I mean giving more material to Republicans. The New York State Legislature is controlled by Republicans, and they, just like every other politician in America, will be running for reelection. It is my honest belief that New York Republicans, as well as other Republicans, will be making gay marriage a central issue in their campaigns. Gay marriage will, once again, become the issue of importance in an election year where we elect a President. The Republicans will attempt to leverage the gay marriage issue to try and gain majorities in the House, Senate, and retake the Presidency. Mark my words.