Animation Avoidance

VGA Haterade

On the night of Saturday, December 10th, 2011, the Spike Video Game Awards were held. I was one of the fortunate people to have a totally valid and indisputable excuse for not watching the VGAs live. I was at work. This gave me the opportunity to see the reaction of many of my fellow gamers to this award show via Twitter. Based on the what I gathered from the people I follow on Twitter, the general reaction was, to put it simply...

The general reaction of the video game playing public was negative. This was not unexpected. Every year the general reaction to the VGAs is negative. One could attribute this reaction to the general sense of displeasure felt by the video game playing public to everything at every time at every place, however assuming that would be too simplistic and doesn't speak to the real problem with the VGAs. In my humble opinion, the problem with the Spike Video Game Awards is not exclusive to just that award show. It has been my experience that all award shows that air on any cable network owned by Viacom sucks. Here are some examples.

What do you remember happening at the MTV Music awards over the past couple of years? You probably answered Lady Gaga's meat dress, Beyonce's faux baby bump, and Kanye West interrupting Taylor Swift. You don't know who won, who was nominated, or who performed, you just remember meat dresses, baby bumps, and Kanye.

What do you remember happening at the MTV Movie Awards outside of "Twilight eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Your answer was, in all likelihood, nothing.

Do any of you recognize the logos above? Did any of you watch the award shows attributed to those logos? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Outside of the hosts at Spooky Hour Horror Hour, has anyone ever watched the Spike Scream Awards?

The problem with the Spike Video Game Awards is a systemic one. All of the award shows on any Viacom owned cable network is seen as lame, unwatchable, and devoid of value by most of the general public, as well as the people who are the most ardent fans of whatever media platform is receiving awards at that particular award show. Also, why the fuck did Zachary Levi host the VGAs?

Vacant Tires Of Avoidance

When I was a kid my family moves a lot. It was the nature of being in the military, frequent moves to whichever strange new place my dad happened to be stationed at the time. When I was eleven this process ended, but the ending of that process involved one final move. This move was to a place that I had heard was home but was not very familiar with. Utah.

Sure, I had family in Utah that greeted me warmly, but outside of my family, very few people wanted much to do with us. This was especially pronounced at school. The kids at school either wanted nothing to do with me, or were openly hostile to me for reasons I still do not understand. Perhaps part of the reason I don't understand it now is at the time I didn't want to deal with the situation. I just wanted to go away. I just wanted to hide.

On the playground at the first elementary school I went to in Utah was a pile of tires. A pile of tires organized and constructed in a way so that kids could climb and jump and play on them. This was not a particularly popular piece of playground equipment because it was a pile of tires. During most recess periods, the pile of tires would sit vacant. This vacancy is what made these tires appealing to me.

Some days, when the kids were being especially hostile to me and the weather was not hostile, I would hide in the pile of tires. I would find a place on the inside part of one of the tires where no one could see me but I could still hear the recess bell. There were days where this strategy would work and I could successfully hide. However there were also days where this strategy would not work. This wouldn't work, not because the kids would find me, because the adults would find me. The adults would find me, not ask me why I was hiding in the pile of tires, and shove me back into a situation that was making me miserable. This situation continued to make me miserable untill the day when I was, at long last, rid of those kids.

Now, in the days when I am an adult but the kids that once surrounded me are still kids, I undertake a similar strategy of avoidance. The main difference between then and now is my choice of tire.

I'm going to put this on my blog because I can't find any way else to do it online. If any of you know a Tyson Lowe who lives in Utah, tell him to contact me. I'm tired of dealing with the situation that Tyson has gotten me into anymore.

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