Not A Leveraged Admission

Not An Admission Of ANYTHING!!!

In the annual tradition, this summer a number of wildfires have broken out in the forests, fields, and general open spaces across the Western United States.  Many of these fires have broken out in places where people usually go on vacation.

I am a person who does, on occasion, go on vacation.  I have also been traveling a lot lately.  This is due to me having a laptop, internet, a writing job, and a general aversion to the office environment.  I am also a Ginger.  Like many Gingers, when I walk around outside for an extended period of time, usually between an hour and fifteen minutes,

I burst into flames.  My skin will spontaneously combust, resulting in flames covering all of the exposed parts of my body.  I don't carry a lighter with me, I just stick my hand out the window, and voila, flamefinger.

I am not saying that I am to blame for any of the fires currently burning in the wilderness of the majestic land.  I am not saying that I am not to blame for several of the fires currently burning in the wilderness of this majestic land.  All I am saying is...

Under The Cover Of E3

During the week of E3, THQ tried to use the major focus given to that trade show to close down one of their studios without anybody noticing.  They failed.  As evidenced by this news story, people did notice THQ doing this.  However, there is something much bigger that happened during the week of E3 that no one, in the gaming press or the traditional press, has taken notice of.

Recently, the Blizzard offices were subject to a raid by the Korean Federal Trade Commission.  This raid came on the heels of consumer complaints about the Error 37 problems experienced by players of Diablo III.  At first it appeared as if Blizzard, and their parent company The Great Empire Of Activison, was going to let these complaints and raid play themselves out in the Korean legal process.  However, on June 6th, the day of the heavily watched Nintendo E3 Press Conference, The Great Empire Of Activison executed a leveraged buyout of South Korea.

You read that correct.  For the paltry sum of USD141 Billion, The Great Empire Of Activision did what few people have thought to be plausible for a corporation to accomplish.  The Great Empire Of Activision bought an entire nation.  This is not unprecedented.  In 2009, with the profits from their phenomenally successful Madden franchise, Electronic Arts merged with UK to form EAUK.  This partnership has been of limited success, with the Queen of England having threatened Peter Moore with hanging on several occasions.

The President of The Great Empire Of Activison, Robert Kotick, released the following statement:

BEHOLD!  Look forth on the might and majestry of The Great Empire Of Activison!  We have done what few have thought of, much less accomplished.  We have silenced those would would seek to tear us down.  We have silenced those that have questioned us.  We have bought South Korea!

Know this all those who would seek to inquire about our practices.  You can not see what we do to our enemies.  We do not silence them with guns, bombs, blades, or threats of violence.  We silence our critics with the most powerful thing in the world MONEY!!!

And North Korea, don't fuck with us.  We could end you with just the amount of money I could find in my couch cushions!

Quote the Kotick, nevermore.

It is unclear as to what changes The Great Empire Of Activison plans to make with the country of South Korea.  However, this much is clear: Do not question the Kotick.  If you question the Kotick, he will bury you under a pile of money.  By the way...

Are you sure that shirt goes with those pants?

You are a scourge, and we are here to cleanse this world of you.

Volume 11 by Hunter Red.  Physical copies start at $10.43.  Digital copies are $1.  Serialization, for free, starting August 7th at Redertainment.com.