The
Official The Redertainment Corporation Of America Electronic Entertainment Expo
Blogwrapupthing!!!
The 18th
Annual Electronic Entertainment Expo was held in Los Angeles, California, USA,
this past week. Not being a big shot
video game guy, I did not to go Los Angeles, California, USA, to attend The
18th Annual Electronic Entertainment Expo.
Instead of going to The 18th Annual Electronic Entertainment Expo, I
stayed at home and followed the coverage from The Official Offices of The
Redertainment Corporation Of America. At
least that is what I intended to do.
However, some complications arose that impacted my intent.
The
Official Carpets in The Official Offices of The Redertainment Corporation Of
America are currently being cleaned.
Rather than being cleaned with a traditional carpet cleaning machine,
The President of The Redertainment Corporation Of America, Rodger Red, felt it
was necessary to clean The Official Carpets in The Official Offices of The
Redertainment Corporation Of America with a chemical compound that is
incredibly noxious and not really made for human interaction. Rodger claims that he is using this method
cleaning to ensure that The Official Carpets in The Official Offices of The
Redertainment Corporation Of America are cleaned properly. I think he's doing this because this method
is the more expensive method and Rodger Red wants to waste money.
By the
way, the whole bit before where I was repeating in full the title of the
carpets that are in the offices was only done because Rodger Red mandated it to
be so. Any time we refer to the offices
of RCOA, the building that RCOA is in, or any of the equipment that RCOA uses,
that product, place, person, thing, etc., must be referred to in a way that
become very very annoying upon repetition.
I can not think of a good reason why Rodger Red wants this to be done,
but he is very insistent that it is done in the way that he wants. I'm sure that I will get a thorough tongue
lashing after Rodger reads this paragraph.
Of course, that would require him to actually come into the offices,
which is something he hasn't done in several months.
Instead
of going to the office to work, I worked from home. That is, I attempted to work from home. Come, join me on my journey as I attempt to
keep up with all the news that came out during E3.
On
Sunday, Nintendo held a Pre-E3 press conference. I found out about this on Twitter the night
it was held. I did not see the Nintendo
Pre-E3 press conference. I did not even
attempt to watch it. I was busy with
other projects. That project: Project
Get Wicked Hammered On Locally Produced Microbrew Beer.
On
Monday, I attempted to watch the Microsoft E3 Press Briefing online. Again, I attempted to do this. Apparently even though I pay out the nose for
it, my at home internet connection is not of a sufficient speed to allow me to
watch live streaming video. Also, the
damn connection kept on disconnecting.
Sure, I could have watched the press conference on Spike TV, in fact I
should have watched the press conference on Spike. However, when I get angry I get very
belligerent and closed minded. The
following is a series of notes I made while the press conference was going on:
I'm
trying to watch the press conference online.
I should
be able to watch the press conference online.
Why isn't
it working?
GODDAMNMOTHERFUCKINGPIECEOFGODDAMNSHIT!!!!!!!!!!
After the
Microsoft E3 Press Briefing was a press briefing held by Electronic Arts. While I was attempting to watch this press
briefing, I found out about the Microsoft Press Briefing airing on Spike. The following is a series of notes I made
while the Electronic Arts press briefing was going on:
FUCK!
FUCK IT
ALL TO HELL!
What the
fuck do I pay CenturyLink for?
What the
fuck don't these fucking people understand about I want to watch video online
without it disconnecting, buffering, or pulling some other kind of bullshit!
FUCK!
I could
have watched the Microsoft thing on Spike?
WHO THE FUCK WAS SUPPOSTED TO TELL ME!!!
Fucking
spellcheck, it's supposted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After I
calmed down by once again accomplishing Project Get Wicked Hammered On Locally
Produced Microbrew Beer, I attempted to watch the Nintendo E3 Press Conference
on Tuesday. Once again, attempted. The following is a series of notes which I
hope will not be used to prove I'm insane:
Okay,
let's try this again. Let's hope that
CenturyLink finally has it's shit together.
Okay,
it's starting.
Hey, it
works!
I can see
the press conference.
Yay!
Hey,
look! There's Miya-
WHAT THE
FUCKING HELL!!!
Why is it
bullshitting on me now!
SHIT ON A
BICYCLE!
I'm about
ready to tempt inhaling noxious fumes at the office to use their not-bullshit
connection to actually watch this.
Fuck.
I did not
even attempt to watch the Ubisoft E3 Press Conference that was held after the
Nintendo Press Conference on Tuesday.
I'm told there were boobs. I
would have liked to see those boobs.
However, I have CenturyLink DSL, and CenturyLink DSL is fucking
bullshit.
During
The 18th Annual Electronic Entertainment Expo, many things were learned by many
people about many products that they are excited to purchase. What did I learn?
I'm
getting Comcast Xfinity cable internet this week. Seriously, fuck CenturyLink.
We have
tolerated you. We have endured you. Now, we will end you.
Volume 11 by Hunter Red.
Serialization to start August 7th and continue every Tuesday and
Thursday thereafter on redertainment.com
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