Red Monologues: Deadful Phone Call

Apartment, Afternoon. Hunter Red is a red head of medium height who regularly wears a T-shirt and cargo shorts. Hunter Red is sitting playing video games in his apartment, when his phone rings. The phone continues to ring throughout the scene.

Hunter Red- Okay, now a problem presents itself.

Hunter Red looks at the phone.

Hunter Red- I see the caller id, it my parents calling. Now, they know I'm home. It's the weekend, it's sunny out, an absolutely beautiful day, where else would I be but playing video games inside. My parents aren't calling me just for to see what I'm doing. No, they want me to do something. They always want me to do something. This is one of the problems with having no social life, people always think you can do things for them. Now, I can't ignore the phone because they know that I'm here, and they would get pissed. And I can't pick up the phone and say no because they would get pissed. And I can't bolt out of my apartment and make it more legitimately appear that I'm not home. Let me show you why.

Hunter Red walks over to the window, the camera follows him over.

Hunter Red- Look out there.

The camera shoots the parking lot, in particular one Red Hyundai Santa Fe.

Hunter Red- You see that, the Red Santa Fe there. That's my parent's car. My parents are calling me from their car in the parking lot of my apartment building.

The shot returns to Hunter Red by the window.

Hunter Red-That's right, rather than come up, knock on the door, and talk to me directly, they're calling me on the phone to see if I can do stuff for them. Luckily, I have found a way to extricate myself from this situation.

Hunter Red walks into his bedroom. Hunter then comes out of his bedroom looking completely different. Hunter Red is wearing a black wig, platform shoes, tight black leather pants, and a women's blouse.

Hunter Red- The best part of this getup is if I get caught by my neighbors, they'll stop asking me to come to any Republican/Conservative/Christian get meetings.

Hunter Red walks out the apartment door. The phone continues to ring as the scene ends.