I have a neighbor, Alberto, who's really into horse racing. He reads a mountain of racing literature, does meticulous research into all of the top breeders, and knows the bloodline of Secretariat by heart. For a long time it was his dream to go to Louisville, Kentucky and witness the Kentucky Derby.
This year Alberto was fortunate enough to get tickets, airfare, and lodging to his sacred event, and he choose to take me along with him. Alberto owed me a favor after I rigged it so he could get free porn. We had a good time down there, ate some good food, drank a couple of drinks, and got rejected by some women, good times aplenty.
Then the day of the Kentucky Derby came. We got some nachos and a Mint Julep, and took out seats. Alberto was in a state of utter bliss, a state I hoped to get to as I ordered another Mint Julep. Then the race started, and the race ended. Afterward, I had a question for Alberto, "Is that it?"
"What do you mean"
"Is that it? That's all we came to see?"
"Yes amigo, wasn't it great?"
"Not really."
"What do you mean not really?"
"I- I just don't see-"
"What?"
"The point. I don't see a point to all of this."
"I knew you wouldn't get it."
"Yeah, I don't get it. I don't see the point in horse racing. That's why I'm asking you to explain it to me."
At that point Alberto shut down and stayed that way for the rest of the trip and for some time afterward. We are talking again, but our friendship has definitely been hurt.
A couple of days after I returned from Louisville, I started playing Mass Effect. I played it for a couple of hours every day, drilling further and further into it, eventually finishing the game. However, throughout the game I was asking myself, "Is this it? Is that all there is? Where is the point?"
Don't get me wrong, the game is beautiful, easily approachable, and was moderately enjoyable. It was just listless, unmotivated, and dull at points. I was going through missions with no real sense as to why I'm doing this and what this has to do with anything. I wish that for one minute during this game that I was enthralled in any way, but I simply was not.
Mass Effect: B-
Fallout: Las Vegas Proposal
In the year 2374 a terrorist attack occurs in Las Vegas. It is unclear who is responsible for the attack. What is clear is that this nuclear attack made the once thriving vacation destination an inhospitable wasteland.
The American federal government lacks the resources or the infrastructure to clean up this once thriving metropolis, but a nearby group does. This group sets out to clean up Las Vegas in more ways than one. By 2391 the fruits of this group work are starting to develop. Many buildings sill lie in ruins, but the city is clear of what this group sees as the two most pervasive threats that once existed in Las Vegas: radiation and sin. The former "Sin City" has been rebuilt and revitalized by the LDS Church.
The year is 2432. You emerge from a chamber in the long since forgotten University of Nevada, Las Vegas Cryogenics Facility. As you, an unbeliever, begin to integrate yourself into this post-apocalyptic American Vatican City, you will discover many things. Including your place in this xenophobic utopia, the motives of the leadership behind this New Las Vegas, and the truth behind the attacks in 2374 that made this possible.
Possible future DLC includes the following.
The Purified Capital- Set in a Salt Lake City untouched by the nuclear assaults that have ruined the rest of the United States, you seek to find and extricate the last of the unbelievers.
4/7/74- Experience the events of this tragic day as you seek to find shelter as the terrorist's bombs wreak havoc on Las Vegas.
Broke Steel- You try to get the word out in New Las Vegas of an underground gambling hall while not making yourself known to the leaders of New Las Vegas.
These are to be the only three DLC, unless these three sell extremely well. If that does happen, I propose to pull something out of my ass.
Dice Absorbed
Ever since the critically acclaimed Mirror's edge hit the market, people have been wondering what the next game from EA Digital Illusions CE (DICE) will be. To that end, I called the offices of DICE to speak to their public relations manager. When I called then I found that DICE no longer exists.
After hitting up my contacts and meeting with a guy in a parking lot late at night, I discovered why DICE no longer exists. According to my source, who only identified himself as Fehr, in February of this year DICE was absorbed into the CIA. Fehr says that the people at DICE were heading up a project to turn military and governments agents into operatives with the skills, instincts, and abilities exhibited by Faith in Mirror's Edge.
I attempted to contact someone inside the CIA to get a comment on this story. I believe this to be the reason why I have no memories of Thursday. I am currently reaching out to people inside the Obama Administration to get confirmation. If I can get my hands on some marijuana cigarettes, I may get a meeting with the current Associate Director of the White House Office of Public Liaison.
Because of my inability to independently verify Fehr's claims, I am unable to say with a certainty if this story is true or false. All I know is that if Sy Hersh doesn't stop stealing my sources, I'm going to send the VP's hit squad after him. Maybe they can help me get that bag of Cheetos off that ledge I can't seem to get at.
Star Trek Review
I usually post my blogs on Sunday morning. I write them throughout the week, but I usually type them up, make sure they're all correct, and put them up for public consumption on Sunday morning by noon. Last week I altered my routine. I typed up my blog on Thursday morning and posted it after I got home from work on Saturday night. Why? There was a movie I wanted to see and I wanted to catch the Sunday matinee.
So Sunday rolls around, I shower, shave, watch Sports Center, and get dressed and ready to leave the house. I was done with this whole process by 9:45 in preparation for a 12:00 movie. Since I had nothing better to do, I drove down to the theater, intending to get a nice Sunday morning brunch.
Around the theater are various restaurants, Chili's, Ruby Tuesday, IHOP, etc., that I thought would be open. I pulled into the theater parking lot at 10:15 and looked toward the IHOP. There was a line out the door, so that was out. I walked over to the theater, bought my ticket, then walked down to where Chili's, Ruby Tuesday, and Iggy's Sports Grill sit right in a row. As I walked down corridor, I felt like I just walked into a horror film and was walking toward a strung out redneck who was going to jump out and attack me. Nothing was open, everything was dark and no one was around. In fact, outside of the IHOP, none of the restaurants opened until 11AM.
What the fuck. I know I live in a place where the predominate religion says spending money of the Sabbath is immoral, but come the fuck on! I'm hungry, I have money to spend on food, and NO ONE is open to serve me. That, to me, was such a god damn disappointment.
Thankfully the movie I went to see, Star Trek, was absolutely different. In fact, I liked Star Trek so much, I'm going to mirror the process I went through last weekend so I can catch the Sunday matinee of it this weekend. Except this time I'm eating before I leave the house.
Star Trek: A-
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