Lately, North Korean and their dictator Kim Jong Il have been making waves internationally by testing a number of high explosives. These tests have ruffled the feathers of many nations, including the United States. However, a high level Pentagon source says that Kim Jong Il is not the most troubling figure out there with high explosives. In fact this source says the real pervasive threat may come from a place closer to home.
This is Adam Webb, a thirty-five year old resident of South Jordan, Utah. Adam is an accountant who spends his time working, raising his three children, and playing with his dog Mylo. Mr. Webb appears to be your normal American living his life happily and within the law. However, my high level Pentagon source alleges that this man is far more of a threat than he appears, and the source of that threat may be concentrated in Mr. Webb's backyard shed.
My source, who only wants to be identified as Felt, claims that over the past weeks and months Adam webb has made numerous trips to purchase and smuggle home a large supply of high explosives. Felt claims that not only does Mr. Webb have more resources at his disposal than the entire nation of North Korea, but as of June 7th, Mr. Webb has more explosives at his disposal than the entire military of North Korea.
I reached Mr. Webb for a comment on this. He said, "No, there is no way that I have been going up to Evanston, Wyoming on a weekly basis to buy fireworks that are illegal in Utah. No, that is totally not true, nudge nudge wink wink."
This may end up to be another case where the claims made by my source Felt may be unverifiable. I do look forward to going to Mr. Webb's Fourth of July BBQ where he promises explosions, meat, explosions, beer, explosions, and explosions. Should be a blast.
Monopoly PS3 Review
My father taught me many things. How to shave, how to throw a baseball, how to get rejected by women, etc. One of the most treasured things he taught me how to dominate at the board game Monopoly. Basically, he taught me how to be a complete and unapologetic dick while playing the game. Reject all deals proposed to you, propose deals that are to your overwhelming advantage, do and say things that are aggressive, arrogant, and self-centered, and don't be afraid to offend people in the pursuit of utter victory.
Through use of these tactics, I have gone nearly ten years without losing a single game against anyone. I have not always been dominant in my victory, but I have ALWAYS won. However I've paid a price for these victory. I've played against many people who were my friends before the game and despised me after it, including several women that I was interested in romantically. This has caused me to enact a policy for myself: Don't play against anyone you like. In essence, if I play Monopoly against you, you can rest assured that I hate you.
I have played many different versions of Monopoly in video game form. NES, Playstation, Cell Phone, iPod, iPod Touch, and most recently PS3. I know that games of Monopoly take a long time to play out, sometimes months, but I expected video games versions of Monopoly to take not nearly as long. That was not to be. The PS3 version of Monopoly takes a long time to play out, especially when you involve the maximum of four users, to the point where I recognized my inevitable victory several hours before it happened.
That stands as my only complaint about this game, and if you know anything about Monopoly, you've grown to accept that as the norm. The graphics, sound, interface, and offline multiplayer are all excellent, and something that you will experience for months at a time.
Monopoly: B-
Deaf Ears
Have you ever been watching a movie or a television show with someone and the person you're watching it with keeps on interjecting? Whether it's reading the subtitles of a foreign movie, pointing out the actors in a TV show, saying this is a legendary scene in a movie, or even reminding you of the plot of the movie your are watching, isn't this just really annoying, Mom?
Why am I writing about this here? Not only is this highly personal, but this won't reach the intended audience as my Mom doesn't read my blog. I'd be better serves turning this into a Facebook post. But then I'd have to endure all the shit my Mom sends me. Not things I don't like or things that are crap, things that are SHIT.
For example, my Mom sent me a polygamous wife in Facebook. Why? Is she trying to make a comment about the status of my romantic life or does she think this might be fun? Because when I think of the horribly abusive environment that seems to persist in many polygamous cultures, fun is not what springs to mind.
I'm not really going anywhere with this and I feel the need for an ending right now. Hey look, a kittie!
NOW IS THE TIME ON SPROCKETS WHERE WE DANCE!
The Trend Continues
A couple of years ago, Nintendo came out with their motion control technology. It wasn't perfect and they've since tried to perfect it with add-ons, but Nintendo's product accomplished something. It got people talking about, interested in, and ultimately doing something with motion control. In short, Nintendo got people started.
This year at E3, Microsoft introduced their own motion control technology with Project NATAL. Microsoft strove to mature the concept of motion control by taking the toy out of our hands and make controls more free form and open. In short, Microsoft serves us as we get older.
Also at this year's E3, Sony unveiled it's motion control technology. It consisted of a stick with a ball on it. Sony's technology looks amateurish, lacking, and unappealing. In short, Sony failed.
Nintendo got people started, Microsoft serves us as we get older, and Sony fails. The trend continues.
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