At a meeting in an office in Culver City, California, higher executives at Happy Madison Productions meet for another meeting to brainstorm ideas for their next project. These people are Adam Sandler, Barry Bernardi, Allan Covert and Tim Herlihy. They meet around a large table with a certain object in the center, pictured below.
The star of Happy Madison Productions, Adam Sandler, sits at the head of the table and begins the meeting.
Adam Sandler- Okay fellas, we've had a lot of success lately, made a ton of dough, but now the time has come to come up with another blockbuster idea.
The other people around the table nod and make noises affirming what Mr. Sandler just said. Adam pushes a button on the intercom sitting in front of him and says-
Adam Sandler- Steven, would you bring in the happy lettuce?
An intern, Steven, enters the room carrying a large bag filled with what appears to be oregano. However, what is in the bag is not oregano. Steven begins loading the "oregano" into the object at the center of the table and lights it. The intern leaves the room as three of the executives, all but Sandler, begin to breathe deeply from the object at the center of the table.
Adam Sandler- Okay guys, let's brainstorm.
Barry Bernardi takes a drag from the object containing the "oregano" and says-
Barry Bernardi- What if we do a movie where you are talking care of a kid, but it's not your kid, it's John Stewart's kid.
Adam looks at Barry and says-
Adam Sandler- We did that already, it's called Big Daddy.
Allan Covert takes a drag rom the object containing the "oregano" and says-
Allan Covert- What if we do a movie where you inherit a fuckton of money and bang Wynona Rider.
Adam looks at Barry and says-
Adam Sandler- We did that already, it's called Mr. Deeds.
Tim Herlihy takes a drag from the object containing the "oregano" and says-
Tim Herlihy- What if you play a hockey player who plays golf!
Adam looks at Tim and says-
Adam Sandler- We did that movie, in fact YOU WROTE IT.
Barry takes another drag from the object containing the "oregano" and says-
Barry Bernardi- What if you marry Kevin James.
Adam looks at Barry with hate in his eyes and yells-
Adam Sandler- We did that movie already and nobody saw it!
Barry Bernardi- No, I mean just doing it. It's legal now in New York, Conan just got married there.
Adam Sandler- No, he just performed a marriage there. Come on guys, we've got to come up with a good idea.
Tim Herlihy- Why?
Adam Sandler- Why? Why! I'm tired of being a laughing stock!
Allan Covert- Why?
Adam Sandler- Because I want to be a respected actor.
Barry Bernardi- Why?
Adam Sandler- Are you people too high to ask any other questions?
There is a short pause.
Tim Herlihy- I'm not.
Adam Sandler- Then contribute to this discussion beyond just asking why.
Tim Herlihy- Okay, but first-
Tim takes a drag from the object containing the "oregano", then speaks.
Tim Herlihy- Man, that's good. Anyway, why do you want to make respectable films? All of the movies that Happy Madison has produced have been panned by critics, but that hasn't stopped them from making money. Every project we've greenlight has made money hand over fist. Why stop now?
Adam Sandler- Should we not be more concerned about making good quality films rather than making money?
Tim Herlihy- Rather than making money?
Adam Sandler- Yes.
Allan Covert- Dude, aren't you a registered Republican?
Adam takes a second before he answers.
Adam Sandler- Yes.
Barry Bernardi- Dude, that's sick!
Tim Herlihy- Adam, what is the driving force of the Republican Party?
Adam takes a second before he answers.
Adam Sandler- Money.
Tim Herlihy- Yes, making fat stacks of sweaty cash, even if that comes at the great loss of quality.
Adam Sandler- So?
Barry Bernardi- Don't you want to be a good Republican?
Adam thinks for a moment. Then he takes a drag from the object containing the "oregano" and says-
Adam Sandler- I guess you're right. Okay, how about this, there's a movie about a brother and sister who fight a lot, except I play both the brother and the sister. And we cast Al Pachino and make a lot of inside Hollywood jokes!
All the people around the table shout "Brilliant" as they begin to go through the process of producing Adam's new Hollywood movie idea, as well as smoking the rest of their "oregano".
END SCENE
The Redertainment Corporation Of America Employee Spotlight: Rodger Red
Job Title:
Owner, President, and Chief Executive Officer of The Redertainment Corporation Of America
What was your favorite TV show as a child?
We didn't have TV when I was a kid. We barely had radio.
Have you ever met a famous person? Who?
I met President Harding when I was just out of college. I said hello to him and he screamed at me to get him a goddamn drink.
If you were alone on a island with one CD, who's would it be?
Is there a best of the Perry Como Show CD?
Where do you wish to retire?
I'll retire when I'm dead. Even then, I'll probably still be working.
What is your favorite novel or author?
I remember reading C.S. Lewis's Narnia series when it was released. Tolkien is nothing compared to Lewis.
If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?
I'd like to visit Monaco again. The place has never been the same since Princess Grace died.
What would you do with a million dollars?
I already have a million dollars.
Please add one fun fact about yourself.
I ALREADY HAVE A MILLION DOLLARS!!!
Hello Stranger, Hunter Red
You remember or not, but Hunter Red is here
I am only 28 years old
If you still remember, we met in a mall a week ago
That was quite offensive, but I got book for you from my naughty sale
You can download it from Amazon, you will like the girls there!
Priest science blue
Liquid care gate knot correspondent
If you want, we can repeat it anytime. Bye!
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