Project Smoke A Blunt

As I've demonstrated before, I'd love to take a vacation but I don't have a good idea as to what to do.  I did have an idea recently, but I dismissed it because I didn't think it was a good idea.

Recently Colorado decriminalized small amounts of marijuana for recreational use for people who don't live in the state of Colorado.  That means that I could travel to Colorado for the purposes of smoking pot and not be a criminal for doing so.  However, I wouldn't want to say that I was going to Colorado for the purposes of smoking pot because, as I've demonstrated before, my family reads my blog.  So, I'd have to find a legitimate reason to travel to Colorado so that I can say that I'm doing that thing instead of what I'm actually doing, going there to smoke pot.  Perhaps skiing.



Yeah, no.  If I'm going to ride on something cold and then crash afterward, I'd rather get married.  Perhaps, as the Colorado Tourism Office suggests, I can go to the Alpine Hotsprings Hideaway.

Ouch!  That comment wasn't from the temperature of the hotspring, I was looking at the rates.  $295 a night with a $400 deposit and a $100 cleaning fee for parties over six.  Yeah, no.  I'm not paying that much to boil in a tub.  I could go zipling at Adventures Out West.

Yeah, no.  If I'm going to recreate something from an episode of South Park, I'd rather nail a hermaphrodite at the Drunken Barn Dance.  I've heard that Denver has a baseball team.  Perhaps the Red Sox are playing the Colorado Rockies next year.

After looking over the Rockies schedule for next year, it appears the Red Sox aren't playing the Rockies this year.  But hey, I see the Mets are playing the Rockies next year, and John Stewart apparently likes the Mets for reasons that are unexplainable.  And tickets are available for these series of games right now.  Perhaps I could use going to Denver to see the Colorado Rockies play the New York Mets as a cover for going to Denver to smoke pot.  But do I really want to go through all that trouble to smoke pot.  I mean, it's just smoking pot.  I've been told for years that doing drugs is bad.  I'm not even really that motivated to smoke pot.


Okay, now I'm motivated to go to Colorado to smoke pot.  Hell, I'm not even tell people that I'm going to Colorado to do something else.  I'm going to Colorado to smoke pot... eventually.  Once Project Buy A House is over, I'm totally going to go to Colorado to get baked.  Thank you Bill O'Reilley.  You are a constant source of inspiration to me.  And by that I mean I get inspired by Bill O'Reilley to do whatever he says is bad.  It's why I got that abortion.

Smoking Spam And Perry Como

The Creative Process At Happy Madison

At a meeting in an office in Culver City, California, higher executives at Happy Madison Productions meet for another meeting to brainstorm ideas for their next project. These people are Adam Sandler, Barry Bernardi, Allan Covert and Tim Herlihy. They meet around a large table with a certain object in the center, pictured below.

The star of Happy Madison Productions, Adam Sandler, sits at the head of the table and begins the meeting.

Adam Sandler- Okay fellas, we've had a lot of success lately, made a ton of dough, but now the time has come to come up with another blockbuster idea.

The other people around the table nod and make noises affirming what Mr. Sandler just said. Adam pushes a button on the intercom sitting in front of him and says-

Adam Sandler- Steven, would you bring in the happy lettuce?

An intern, Steven, enters the room carrying a large bag filled with what appears to be oregano. However, what is in the bag is not oregano. Steven begins loading the "oregano" into the object at the center of the table and lights it. The intern leaves the room as three of the executives, all but Sandler, begin to breathe deeply from the object at the center of the table.

Adam Sandler- Okay guys, let's brainstorm.

Barry Bernardi takes a drag from the object containing the "oregano" and says-

Barry Bernardi- What if we do a movie where you are talking care of a kid, but it's not your kid, it's John Stewart's kid.

Adam looks at Barry and says-

Adam Sandler- We did that already, it's called Big Daddy.

Allan Covert takes a drag rom the object containing the "oregano" and says-

Allan Covert- What if we do a movie where you inherit a fuckton of money and bang Wynona Rider.

Adam looks at Barry and says-

Adam Sandler- We did that already, it's called Mr. Deeds.

Tim Herlihy takes a drag from the object containing the "oregano" and says-

Tim Herlihy- What if you play a hockey player who plays golf!

Adam looks at Tim and says-

Adam Sandler- We did that movie, in fact YOU WROTE IT.

Barry takes another drag from the object containing the "oregano" and says-

Barry Bernardi- What if you marry Kevin James.

Adam looks at Barry with hate in his eyes and yells-

Adam Sandler- We did that movie already and nobody saw it!
Barry Bernardi- No, I mean just doing it. It's legal now in New York, Conan just got married there.
Adam Sandler- No, he just performed a marriage there. Come on guys, we've got to come up with a good idea.
Tim Herlihy- Why?
Adam Sandler- Why? Why! I'm tired of being a laughing stock!
Allan Covert- Why?
Adam Sandler- Because I want to be a respected actor.
Barry Bernardi- Why?
Adam Sandler- Are you people too high to ask any other questions?

There is a short pause.

Tim Herlihy- I'm not.
Adam Sandler- Then contribute to this discussion beyond just asking why.
Tim Herlihy- Okay, but first-

Tim takes a drag from the object containing the "oregano", then speaks.

Tim Herlihy- Man, that's good. Anyway, why do you want to make respectable films? All of the movies that Happy Madison has produced have been panned by critics, but that hasn't stopped them from making money. Every project we've greenlight has made money hand over fist. Why stop now?
Adam Sandler- Should we not be more concerned about making good quality films rather than making money?
Tim Herlihy- Rather than making money?
Adam Sandler- Yes.
Allan Covert- Dude, aren't you a registered Republican?

Adam takes a second before he answers.

Adam Sandler- Yes.
Barry Bernardi- Dude, that's sick!
Tim Herlihy- Adam, what is the driving force of the Republican Party?

Adam takes a second before he answers.

Adam Sandler- Money.
Tim Herlihy- Yes, making fat stacks of sweaty cash, even if that comes at the great loss of quality.
Adam Sandler- So?
Barry Bernardi- Don't you want to be a good Republican?

Adam thinks for a moment. Then he takes a drag from the object containing the "oregano" and says-

Adam Sandler- I guess you're right. Okay, how about this, there's a movie about a brother and sister who fight a lot, except I play both the brother and the sister. And we cast Al Pachino and make a lot of inside Hollywood jokes!

All the people around the table shout "Brilliant" as they begin to go through the process of producing Adam's new Hollywood movie idea, as well as smoking the rest of their "oregano".



END SCENE



The Redertainment Corporation Of America Employee Spotlight: Rodger Red

Job Title:
Owner, President, and Chief Executive Officer of The Redertainment Corporation Of America

What was your favorite TV show as a child?

We didn't have TV when I was a kid. We barely had radio.

Have you ever met a famous person? Who?

I met President Harding when I was just out of college. I said hello to him and he screamed at me to get him a goddamn drink.

If you were alone on a island with one CD, who's would it be?

Is there a best of the Perry Como Show CD?

Where do you wish to retire?

I'll retire when I'm dead. Even then, I'll probably still be working.

What is your favorite novel or author?

I remember reading C.S. Lewis's Narnia series when it was released. Tolkien is nothing compared to Lewis.

If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?

I'd like to visit Monaco again. The place has never been the same since Princess Grace died.

What would you do with a million dollars?

I already have a million dollars.

Please add one fun fact about yourself.

I ALREADY HAVE A MILLION DOLLARS!!!



Hello Stranger, Hunter Red

You remember or not, but Hunter Red is here

I am only 28 years old
If you still remember, we met in a mall a week ago
That was quite offensive, but I got book for you from my naughty sale
You can download it from Amazon, you will like the girls there!
Priest science blue
Liquid care gate knot correspondent

If you want, we can repeat it anytime. Bye!

****- Eric Idle Is My Hero

D > G

On October 19th the Obama Administration released a directive to the Department of Justice ordering them to stop enforcement of current drug laws in cases that have to do with the manufacturing, distribution, and use of marijuana for medicinal use. In short, President Obama ordered a stop to the federal government crackdown on medical marijuana.

While I do believe this to be a positive step and a generally good thing, I do have a problem with this move. The non-enforcement of marijuana laws was an Obama campaign promise as was the repeal of the US Military’s Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy. Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell has yet to be repealed or acted upon. What this implicitly says is that the Obama Administration values users of marijuana over homosexuals. I am confident in saying that’s not the case but the Obama Administration actions on one but not the other speaks volumes about their priorities.



:(

In the past I have been practically caviler about how fortunate I was. I was one of the only people that had never experienced the Red Rings Of Death. On October 22nd, 2009 I experienced RROD.

It’s weird coming face to face with your weakness. For a time I felt so impotent. I had fallen down from my place of glory down to a level equal to all of you. On that day I felt so low.

Now I’m regaining my confidence. Now I’m climbing back to that place of glory and I never want to be down there with you people again.






Giving Credit Where Credit Is Due

One of the things that annoys me more than anything else is impotent complaint. I absolutely hate it when someone fruitlessly yells about something rather tham acting to do away with what has angered them. Many Christian Coalition Corporation Groups are guilty of this. Many groups just endlessly complain rather than taking substantive action to create the world they hold as ideal.

It is because of this that I feel compelled to point out and give credit to any spiritual organization that actually makes a substantive effort to create their ideal in the video game realm. I do this because I wish to reward their behavior even if I do disagree with their ideal. I present just such an example now.

Guitar Praise is a music rhythm game made by Digital Praise. Guitar Praise is a PC only title available at www.guitarpraise.com. This game includes songs from such Christian rock bands as Reliant K, Whitecross, Thousand Year Krutch, and Newsboys.

I cannot review Guitar Praise as I have not played it but I like this game as a concept. What Digital Praise had done is they have acted in a substantive way. Rather than endlessly complaining about how the world should be they have done something to create that world. They have given the video game consumer an alternative to games that are violent, obscene, and take away from the spirit, and I have to give them credit for that.

Guitar Praise: A move in a positive direction.



And Now For Something Completely Different





It Begins…

It’s that time of the year. There’s a crisp feeling in the air, the major sports leagues are ramping up, and a young man’s thoughts turn to just how broke he is about to be. That’s right, the time is here. It’s time for the Second Annual Four Star Gaming Awards to begin, and each and every one of you has the opportunity to participate in it.

Simply contact me with who you believe should walk away with the Four Star Gaming Award in any or all of the seven award categories. Games eligible for this year’s awards are games released from October 1st to December 15th 2009. The categories are:
Game of the Year
Xbox 360 Game of the Year
Wii Game of the Year
PS3 Game of the Year
Downloadable Game of the Year
Disappointment of the Year
Non-Gaming Thing Deserving of an Award

There are a number of ways for you to contact me. Either comment on the blog post that you have read this on, email me (Redertainment@live.com), message me on Facebook (Hunter Red), or Twitter me (@Redertainment). Submissions are due by December 15th with the Four Star Gaming Awards being presented on January 3rd, 2010. I look forward to a strong response to this call for nominations and incorporating many different viewpoints into this year’s Four Star Gaming Awards.

The Red Interview- Professor Robert Tennant

Good evening. This is The Red Interview, and I am your host Hunter Red. This week our guest is Doctor Robert Tennant. He is a professor of Physics at Oxford and a member of the International Organization of Christian Physicist (IOCP). Doctor Tennant currently resides in Cardiff with his wife and seven children.

Hunter Red- So Doctor Tennant, what kind of video games do you play?
Professor Robert Tennant- Excuse me?
H- What kinds of video games do you play?
P- Um, I don’t play video games.
H- Excuse me? I contacted you about doing an interview for my video game blog. You seemed very enthusiastic about it.
P- I’m a physicists. Most people aren’t interested in interviewing physicists.
H- I don’t run a physics blog.
P- I’m sorry.
H- You know, that’s fine, we can talk about other things. What do you think of Pineapple Express?
P- Excuse me?
H- Pineapple Express?
P- What is that, some sort of train?
H- No, it’s a movie.
P- Oh, what’s it about?
H- It’s about these two guys who are trying to evade some dope dealers.
P- What are they, making dynamite?
H- No. What does dynamite have to do with dope?
P- Dope is the term used for the material they add nitroglycerin to make dynamite.
H- Oh, I didn’t know that.
P- Most people don’t.
H- Well, I meant marijuana. Pineapple Express is considered a drug movie.
P- Oh. You don’t smoke that stuff, do you?
H- Sometimes, at parties? Do you?
P- Hell no.
H- Really, why not? Did you have a bad experience?
P- No, I’m Mormon.
H- So, you’ve had no experiences?
P- I’m out of here.
H- Thank you for your time Doctor.

Well, that’s it for The Red Interview for today. Join us next time when our guest will be Uwe Boll and our topic will be beating film makers with a club. See you then.