Grand Theft Auto Diary: #7: SPOILARZZZGATE

Yeah, I didn't spend Sunday playing Grand Theft Auto V.  Instead, I watched the last eight episodes of Breaking Bad.

The last episode was, in my opinion, one of the best episodes of television in the history of human civilization.  My favorite part was when Kelly met up with Ozone and Turbo, who are in a long protracted battle with rivals Electro Rock.  The subplot involving the disapproving teacher was kind of a drag, but the prominent role played by Ice-T made this episode totally tubular.  I don't remember the ending, because I was watching it drunk and kind of passed out, but I bet it the way Popin' Pete, Popin' Taco, and Lollipop met their unfortunate demise was sick dope fo' realz.  If you haven't seen the finale of Breaking Bad, the following video clip is a total spoiler, but if you haven't seen the finale of Breaking Bad you suck and you deserve the spoilarrzzz you get.

Breaking Douches

Breaking Undertaker

Fan have been waiting with baited breath for the upcoming conclusion to the popular AMC series Breaking Bad.  Fan's anticipation was barely satiated with the eight episode half-fifth season released last summer.  Producers of Breaking Bad have been very tight lipped about what will happen during the upcoming final episodes.  During appearances on various talk shows, as well as parodies done in coordination with DowntonAbbey, not much have been given away, leading to rampant fan speculation.

This week an image was leaked that may provide clues as to what the final episodes of Breaking Bad may hold.  This image, leaked to this publication by Hect Dogg Industries, shows a very different Walter White than we have seen before.  Rather than speculate any further, let's let the image speak for itself.

Esquire Brand Feminine Hygiene Products

Last Monday saw the formal announcement of something that people following this situation have long since known about.  Comcast owned G4, the alleged game network that aired mainly infomercials and Cops, is going to be undergoing a transformation.  G4 will become the Esquire Network.  The Esquire Network, according to the announcement, will "feature a blend of unscripted and scripted series, and movies and specials that appeal to today’s man".

It appears that Comcast is already making formal arrangements for content for this network.  Comcast has not green light any original programming for the Esquire Network.  Rather, Comcast has already begun selling ad space for this channel.  Ad space is already being sold despite not having a show during which these ads would air.  However, the entities buying ad time may provide a more definite clue as to the direction of this network.

Besides the usual ad buys from soda companies, organizations running public service announcements, and other cable networks, a large block of ad time has been bought by C.B. Fleet Company.  C.B. Fleet Company is the manufacturer of Summer's Eve, one of the largest vaginal douche products on the market today.  In a statement, C.B. Fleet Company  spokesman Spencer Pratt said the following:

"We at C.B. Fleet Company are always looking for an opportunity to enter new markets and reach consumers in innovative and dynamic ways.  With the Esquire Network, C.B. Fleet Company saw an opportunity to reach a new class of consumer already familiar with douches, as well as douchebags."

In response, Comcast President Jack Donaghy said the following:

"The Italians have a saying, Ginger.  'Keep your friends close and your enemies closer'  And, although they've never won a war or mass-produced a decent car, in this area they are correct."