There is something I saw in my playing of Grand Theft Auto V today that stands
out as a point of concern for me. As I was riding a dirtbike through one of the large
hills in the game, I saw a cougar.
No, not that kind of cougar.
No, not that kind of cougar.
What the fuck is that?
Yes, that kind of cougar. In Grand Theft Auto V there are cougars. Now, in my
first encounter with the cougar, I tried to avoid it, mostly because I didn't
know if it would want to kill me or if I could defend myself against it. But,
the very presence of a cougar in Grand Theft Auto V is concerning to me.
Back in 2006, I wrote a satirical post about a guy getting away with
clubbing baby seals by saying he was influenced to do it by Grand Theft Auto.
In this post, my argument was that it's people that people could start to get
away with things by claiming they were influenced by a video game. I could make
a similar argument today. As we have seen in the wake of the shootings on
Monday, as well as in the weeksleadingup to the release of Grand Theft Auto
V, video games can be blamed for everything. Video games are becoming the
scapegoat of the current day. If some
sick deranged guy tortures a cat, and it turns out that he owns a copy of Grand
Theft Auto V, we will see the media blaming that sick deranged guy's sick
deranged actions on Grand Theft Auto V because Grand Theft Auto V has cougars
in it.
And yes, I know what some of you are saying right now.
"Hey! Red Dead
Redemption and Assassins Creed 3 had cougars in it that you could kill and were given an incentive to kill them, and those games weren't blamed for animal abuse."
You are correct, but Red Dead Redemption and Assassins Creed 3 are not the
magnet of criticism that the Grand Theft Auto series is. Even if they don't
know of what they are talking about, pundits will blame Grand Theft Auto for
violence because those pundits know that their audience knows that name and
knows of the alleged link to violence. Red Dead Redemption and Assassins Creed
aren't that well known or that well recognized, so therefore those games don't
get blamed for everything the way Grand Theft Auto is.
Hunter Red is sitting in his office at The Redertainment Corporation Of America.
Hunter- Well, nominations for The Four Star Gaming Awards have been open for about a month now, let's see who's submitted.
Hunter Red checks his email.
Hunter- Huh. No one. No one has submitted their nominations for this years The Four Star Gaming Awards. Huh. So, I guess this year's awards will reflect only my feelings about the best video games of the year. Then again, some would argue that's always been the case. Okay, let's get this started.
The Third Annual The Four Star Gaming Awards
Wii Game of the Year- Nominees- Epic Mickey, Kirby's Epic Yarn, Metroid: Other M, NBA Jam, Super Mario Galaxy 2
Of all the games released for the Wii this year, two games in particular stood out. These were games that brought classic, iconic characters to new audiences in ways that no one had imagined. These games revolutionized these characters, updated them for the modern day, and, most importantly, brought a whole new level of fun to the gaming public. To say that one game was better than the other is simply disingenuous. Both of these games are award caliber efforts. That is why, the winner of The Four Star Gaming Award for Wii Game of the Year is Epic Mickey and Kirby's Epic Yarn
Xbox 360 Game of the Year- Nominees- Battlefield Bad Company 2, Bioshock 2, Fable 3, Mass Effect 2, Red Dead Redemption
In recent years, we've seen a resurgence in the western genre. Movies like 3:10 To Yuma, No Country For Old Men, and True Grit, have brought good, serious, traditional western films back to the forefront. Rockstar Games is known for bringing a cinematic flair to their video games. Grand Theft Auto: Vice City is reminiscent of Scarface, the upcoming LA Noir is reminiscent of the film noir of the Twenties and Thirties, and Red Dead Redemption reminds the connoisseur of television series like Gunsmoke, Maverick, and Deadwood. Red Dead Redemption is a game that gripped audiences from the first railcar scene to the final showdown. That is why The Four Star Gaming Award for Xbox 360 Game of the Year goes to Red Dead Redemption
Playstation 3 Game of the Year- Nominees- Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood, Final Fantasy XIII, God of War 3, Heavy Rain, RUSE
In a year where motion gaming was touted as the next big thing, a game came out that may actually signal where video games are going in the future. This is a game with no heads up displays, driven purely by contextual clues, and is a different experience for every gamer. Some people dismissed Heavy Rain as not really a game but more an interactive movie. This is a comment that can be made about a lot of games. So, to dismiss a great game Heavy Rain for that reason is simply ignorant. Besides, what other game gave us the internet meme "Press X To Jason". The Four Star Gaming Award for Playstaion 3 Game of the Year is Heavy Rain
Downloadable Game of the Year- Nominees- Dead Rising 2: Patient Zero, Death Spank, Limbo, Sonic 4, You Will Die
This year was really weak for downloadable games. There wasn't a game the caliber of Shadow Complex, 'Splosion Man, or Flower. Gaming online was more defined by games like Battlefield: Bad Company 2, the Blur Beta, and World of Warcraft: Cataclysm. The best thing I can say about this year's winner of The Four Star Gaming Award for Downloadable Game of the Year is this: It's the kind of emo love story that would make Ian Curtis proud. The Four Star Gaming Award for Downloadable Game of the Year is Limbo
Best Original IP of the Year- Nominees- Alan Wake, Bayoneta, Blur, Epic Mickey, Heavy Rain, Limbo
This year was filled with sequels. Seven of the ten games nominated for The Four Star Gaming Awards Game of the Year are sequels. So, I felt it necessary to shine a light on a new game, a new property, a new thing in the realm of video games. The winner of this award not only represent a new intellectual property, it represents a new way to play survival horror games. The idea of attacking someone with light is something that is only seen as a threat to people who suffer from albinism or are made of water. However, the way that this game mechanic is pulled off in Alan Wake amazingly well. Alan Wake is a game that captivated audiences long after the blatant plugs for Energizer left their TV screens. The Four Star Gaming Award for Best Original IP of the Year is Alan Wake
Gaming Disappointment of the Year- Nominees- Fallout: New Vegas being mad buggy, Final Fantasy XIII being a B grade game instead of an A grade game, Gran Turismo 5 being delayed AGAIN (Chinese Democracy), Ubisoft E3 Press Conference
Fallout 3 was, for many people, a stunning breakout game of 2008. Upon announcement, Fallout: New Vegas was a hotly anticipated game. The gaming public was expecting somethings that, like Fallout 3, would blow them away. What they got was a game that blows. Fallout: New Vegas is a game so riddled with bugs it's now included in many entomological text books. Even the massive update, released slightly before Christmas, could not cover up the memory that is only reinforced by YouTube videos like this:
The Four Star Gaming Award for Gaming Disappointment of the Year is Fallout: New Vegas being mad buggy
Non-Gaming Thing Most Deserving of an Award- Nominees- Broken Bells- Broken Bells, Conan O'Brien, The Dead Weather- Sea Of Cowards, Elizabeth Edwards, Inception, Mad Men, The Social Network, Toy Story 3, The Walking Dead, Wikileaks
Danger Mouse came to prominence in 2004 when he released The Grey Album, which combined acapellas from Jay-Z's The Black Album with instrumentals from The Beatles' The White Album. While still dealing with the legal fallout from The Grey Album, Danger Mouse formed Gnarls Barkley with Cee-Lo Green and produced their albums St. Elsewhere and The Odd Couple. He produced the second Gorillaz album, 2005's Demon Days, as well as Beck's 2008 record, Modern Guilt. In 2009 he collaborated with James Mercer of the indie rock band The Shins to form Broken Bells. James Mercer's musical influences include The Smiths, The Cure, Echo & the Bunnymen, The Beach Boys and The Jesus and Mary Chain. These influences are on full display on Broken Bell's self titled first album, released on March 9, 2010. This acclaimed but often overlooked album is the winner of The Four Star Gaming Awards Non-Gaming Thing Most Deserving of an Award.
Game of the Year- Nominees- Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood, Battlefield Bad Company 2, Epic Mickey, God of War 3, Heavy Rain, Kirby's Epic Yarn, Limbo, Mass Effect 2, Red Dead Redemption, Super Mario Galaxy 2
All of the games listed above have received acclaim, from gamers and critics alike, throughout the year. However, one must be chosen to be game of the year. Unlike the other awards, this is one that cannot be shared. There is one game that, upon it's release, stuck out in my mind as something truly special. This is a game that changed the way I thought storytelling can by conveyed in video games. This is a game that changed how I felt characters con be portrayed in video games. This is a game, the only game, that I played through in it's entirety twice. The Four Star Gaming Award for Game of the Year goes to Heavy Rain
So, there you have it, the third annual The Four Star Gaming Awards. By the way, I added the extra "the" to sound arrogant. How will Heavy Rain figure into next week's Best of the Decade awards? Find out next week on The Four Stars Blog. Or don't. Whatever. You'll all probably care about as much about the Best of the Decade awards as you did about The Black Robin Christmas Carol, which sold all of one copy. Sigh. (This is a picture of Ian Curtis. If you don't know who Ian Curtis is, go fuck off.)
Longtime readers of this blog know that I suffer from cynophobia, the psychological term for fear of dogs. I was diagnosed with this condition in February 2007, shortly after being hired as a full-time employee and getting health insurance. I won't be specific as to which doctor diagnosed me with this condition, as he is particularly willing to sue anyone who he thinks defamed him. So, I'll call him Dr. Nick. Dr. Nick proposed that I approach resolving my cynophobia by going through aversion therapy, a process where you face your fear head on. The first thing he proposed I do is go to an animal shelter and work with dogs. There's an animal shelter not far from my home, so finding a suitable facility was not an issue. When I got to this facility, I was hesitant to follow through with what Dr. Nick has prescribed for me, but I trusted that he knew what he was doing. I went into this facility and met a woman named Michelle. Michelle knew why I was there and started showing me around the facility. I passed through the halls of this facility, lined with many cages containing many dogs, most of whom were barking. I tried to quell my quickly rising fears, telling myself that I was safe because all of these dogs were secure and generally well mannered. This did me no good. Roughly fifteen minutes after entering the animal shelter, I ran out of the facility, sweating, shivering, and on the verge of vomiting. I got on the phone with Dr. Nick while I was in my car outside the animal shelter. Dr. Nick tried to convince me to go back in the animal shelter and do the work he had prescribed for me to do. I wanted no part of it, and told him as such while swearing at him. A lot. I haven't sworn that much since I first learned how to swear. This incident did not in any way help me with my cynophobia. If anything, it exasperated my condition. Now I start to wig out anytime I hear even the faintest bark from a dog. Whether the source of the barking is a dog nearby me, a dog on television, or a dog that is mixed into a song I'm listening to, I start to panic. This makes listening to DMX very difficult. Well, more so than it is anyway. This also makes playing Red Dead Redemption somewhat difficult. Whenever I hear a coyote or wolf bay in this game, I put the spurs to my horse and get out of the general area. This even affects the way I react to cougars in the game, even though I know cougars are not dogs and are a completely independent life form. Red Dead Redemption is a good game, borderline great. I just wish I could do away with the coyotes and wolves in this game. Maybe I can systematically eliminate these creatures the way the Pioneers eliminated the Bison. You know, by murdering the fuck out of them! Red Dead Redemption: B+
Qwerty? On Wednesday, Sony announced the Qriocity Music Service. This cloud based music service is set to be compatible with Sony Bravia TVs, Playstation 3s, Blu-Ray Players, and Sony laptop computers. "Via Qriocity, Sony will deliver a variety of digital entertainment content and services... including video, music, game applications and e-books over time," said Fujio Nishida, president of Sony Europe. Do you know why iTunes is popular? Because it's a great program to use? No. Because music is available on iTunes that is not available anywhere else? Yes, but that's because iTunes is popular so people put stuff on there that is rare in the hopes of getting more exposure on a popular thing. Because of the millions of Apple drones out there? No, because iTunes is popular on PCs. Why is iTunes popular? Because the iPod is popular. If the iPod wasn't the phenomenal success it is, iTunes would simply be a music program with a snazzy interface that Mac users use and PC users wonder why Mac users are so endeared with it. While there are still Sony Walkmans still on the market, but there are no current plans to roll out a Walkman that is optimized for this service. That is a mistake. in my opinion. Sure the Sony Connect service was not successful, but not putting such a service into a device that has to compete with iPods makes Sony's devices look like lesser devices, whether they are or aren't. Providing such a service for laptops make sense. Other laptop manufacturers put proprietary software on their laptops, and Sony putting Sony software on Sony hardware is no different. Putting this service in TVs makes no sense to me. If I want to pipe music out of my TV I can plug my iPod into my Xbox 360 and stream most of the music I own. Even if I don't own an Xbox, I can put CDs into my DVD player, Blu-Ray player, or other device that plays CDs that is hooked into my TV. Or I can play music out of my stereo which is hooked up to my TV and is how I hear my TV. As far as playing music through my Blu-Ray player, why? My Blu-Ray player is hooked into my TV which is hooked into my stereo system. I can put CDs into my stereo and can get a better audio experience from that stereo. Why should I play music on my Blu-ray player? Putting such a service on PS3 might make sense. Might. Microsoft has the Zune, which can be plugged right into Xbox 360s for use in streaming music during games. If Qriocity can be used to stream music during games without having to buy a device to do so, that might set PS3 apart from Xbox 360. Doing such might piss off the people who make music for games, but how much do you hear them bitch about the fact that Xbox 360 can stream music during games? The problem with this comes with Sony's PS3 online architecture. I've said this many times before and I'll say it again, PSN sucks. I've always had a problem with getting connected and staying connected to PSN. If I'm trying to steam music from an online cloud based music source and I'm having problem connecting and staying connected to the service, I'm going to have another thing to bitch about in relation to PSN. Qriocity can be a good service if it is implemented properly. From what I've seen thus far, Sony has no intention to do so. If Sony wants Qriocity to flourish in the way that iTunes has they need to release a Sony Qriocity Walkman. Doing so will put this service in the hands of all the people who want a digital music solution put do not want to buy an iPod or a Zune. Once this service is familiar with the public, then introduce the service to other Sony products so that people who own Qriocity Walkmans, or have heard great things about this service, would be more inclined to buy more Sony products. Why am I the one that has to tell Sony this, and not someone with a business degree?
Street Sweeper Social Club- Scars
Black Robin By Hunter Red
I don’t know why They keep on forever tormenting me. I don’t know why They cannot treat me civilly. Why can’t they just let me be? Why can I not just be me?
They’ve never tried To accept me. No matter how I alter me. If they do not want me Then I do not want them.
The time gets closer Every day. The clock slowly Ticks away. One day soon the day will come When I’ll be rid of everyone.
Take your normal superhero origin story. Guy gets powers, guy realizes he has powers, guy goes out to save the world. Now factor this in: the guy has a score to settle.
Everybody wonders what it is that makes them who they are. The Hawk thought that question was securely answered. However a meeting with a boy in a hospital causes him to question everything. Why he is, who he is, what he is, and even if he is.
Eleven years after the events of Consequences Of Mayorust, The Hawk finds himself dealing with many of the same issues that many of us deal with: A less than satisfying job, co-workers of variant annoyance, and a romantic life is unhealthy at best. Thrust into all this is Madison Medina, a well meaning woman who's adversarial relationship with The Hawk morphs into a kind of friendship. Madison, in addition to learning more about herself and her abilities, help to reveal deeper problems inside the organization both she and The Hawk work for.
In every workplace there is a person. A person who doesn't talk to anyone, has walled themselves socially, and seems openly hostile to everyone. Every workplace has this person, even if you don't know of such a person, they're there. The Black Robin Christmas Carol is the story of one of these people. It delves into who this person is, why this person is, and how this person can change for the better.
There is a story. A story of pain, a story of loss, a story of unspeakable horrors, a story that has not been given it's proper attention. Some are ignoring this story. Some are unaware of this story. Some know of this story but are complicit in it's darkness. This is a story that must be told. Told so that the good can stop it and the bad can feel shame for it.
When I thought up thig blog, the name I first thought up was "Random Bullshit". Quickly I recognized that this name would put some people off. Then I thought of the name "Random Bull****". That seemed to be to much clutter. Then I was inspired with the name that dons this blog today.
Posts
