Hut, Hut, Hut, SIKE!

A Certificate Of An Accomplishment I Didn't Accomplish

When the Health Care and Education Reconciliation Act of 2010 was passed I received an email offering me a free certificate of accomplishment for my support of the passage the healthcare bill. I received this email because I contributed to Pres. Obama's 2008 campaign and have yet to opt out of his mailing list. I submitted my name to receive this certificate, not actually believing that I would receive one. Well, guess what I got in the mail on Tuesday.





I'm getting a frame for this totally legitimate certificate that I may or may not have earned. I'm putting it next to my degree from that online university I never went to and the crown that stands as proof of my royalty in The Grand Kingdom of Burger.




Miyamoto Hints at New Character For Next Year

Posted Jul 01, 2010 at 10:49, By Anoop Gantayat

Sankei Shimbun has posted a brief writeup on Nintendo's recent shareholder meeting, which was held at the company's Kyoto headquarters on the 29th.

According to the paper, Shigeru Miyamoto said at the event, "It's about time for a new game character. Perhaps this can be delivered next year."

Miyamoto also said at the event that he's busy with 3DS software development right now, noting, "I'll suddenly have ideas, so being busy now is a good condition."

Apple's iPad also apparently came up at the event. A shareholder asked that age old question of Nintendo potentially providing software for competing devices like iPad. "We have absolutely no plans to offer software," insisted CEO Satoru Iwata, noting that Nintendo provides hardware and software as one and that other companies make devices do not match with its values.

Separate from the Sankei report, a shareholder provided a more complete summary of the meeting and the live 3DS demonstration that followed. See this story for more, including Miyamoto's comments on Pikmin and his recent swimming hobby.



And Now News From The Future...

As usual, Shigeru Miyamoto made a statement at the 2010 E3 Nintendo Press Conference. His statement was as follows:

"Remember that statement I made at a Nintendo shareholder meeting on June 29th about it being time for a new character in a new game? SIKE! Here's another Zelda game!"




Hello, my name is Hunter Red...

Hi, my name is: Hunter

Never in my life have I been: Normal

The one person who can drive me nuts is: Chris Buttars

High school: Hunter ’01. It’s a coincidence that I share a name with the high school I graduated from, I swear.

When I’m nervous: Freeze

The last song I listened to was: U2- Helter Skelter from Rattle and Hum

If I were to get married right now my best man/maid of honor: Whoever is putting up the money for the wedding.

My hair is: Red, long, and unmanaged. Just how I like it.

When I was 5: Five

Last Christmas: I gave out more presents than I received. It’s official: I’m old.

I should be: Watching Countdown while in bed.

When I look down I see: A shirt stained with BBQ sauce.

The happiest recent event was: My niece’s birthday party. I got to kick a soccer ball around a tennis court while children chased it.

If I were a character on ‘Friends’ I’d be: In New York

By this time next year: I hope to be receiving many rejection letters in relation to my three books.

My current gripe is: I wish I had more money

I have a hard time understanding: Conservatives.

There’s this girl I know that: is really hard to talk to because I fear I might put my foot in my mouth.

I like you when: you are there.

If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be: Twitter.

Take my advice: Stop caring about what other people think and try to become satisfied with yourself.

The thing I want to buy: A house

I plan to visit: Pocatello for a family reunion. I know, so interesting. (Sarcasm Emoticon)

If you spent the night at my house: I’d have you sleep on the couch with the rest of them.

I’d stop my wedding if: I woke up.

The world could do without: Conservatives

Most recent thing I’ve bought myself: Lunch.

My favorite blonde is: Scarlett Johansson

My favorite brunette is: Amanda Palmer

My favorite red head is: Me

My middle name is: Wallace

In the morning I: Try to clear out my Tivo. It is much too full.

The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are: Pigs. Maybe then I could get married.

Once, at a bar: I don’t go out drinking much because I live in a place where those in power are openly hostile to people who drink. Because of this, I do not have a story that starts “Once, at a bar…”

Last night I was: Downloading the Rush discography. I’m still doing that now.

There’s this guy I know who: Is a sexy motherfucker. I’m not into guys but Marcus is an undeniably sexy man.

If I was an animal I’d be: eaten.

A better name for me would be: I’ve already re-named myself. Let’s not do that again.

Tomorrow I am: Waking up. Nothing else is planned.

Tonight I am: Making out this self obsessed list, the kind of thing I thought would never be a part of my blog. Oh well, I’m awesome.

My birthday is: August 5th. Get on the present buying peoples!





This Horrific Display Tops Any Horror Movie I've Ever Seen





Proofreading Sucks

Have you ever said aloud to your self, "I suck," and then someone came up behind you and said, "Now don't beat yourself up." Well, proofreading is like telling yourself that you suck and then going into great detail as to how exactly you suck. By the way, don't download The Hawk right now at Redertainment.com. A much better version is coming. Perhaps in time for the release of The Black Robin Christmas Carol on November 1st, or not.

Is Miyamoto Overprotective?

With it's release last month, Wii Music has been referred to as "Miyamoto's Baby". That turns out to be more of a factual statement than a joke. Today it was revealed that when the first reviews for Wii Music started rolling in, Shigeru Miyamoto reacted like a mother whose newborn child has been criticized, with vitriolic hatred.

Last month a review penned by Redertainment writer Thomas Anderson, called Wii Music "a simplified and shallow game with childish graphics, patronizing music, and downright dumb gameplay." Mr. Anderson ended his review by saying, "I would never wish this game on anybody. F-"

When this review reached him, Mr. Miyamoto said, "How can he say something like that? Doesn't he see the bright ray of sunshine my latest release is!?!" He went on to say, "I bet he's just jealous that I have people who are willing to help me release things and he doesn't. If he had his own game, I bet he'd change his tune!"

Thomas Anderson stands behind his review of Wii Music. He said, "I've had to deal with a lot of crap lately. Between the fake news story, cybernetic parasites, and meetings with dudes in full suits and sunglasses, I don't need anymore of this!" Mr. Anderson then took some red pill, picked up the phone, and mysteriously disappeared.

Like many other games, blurbs from reviews of Wii Music are expected to be printed on the package of the game. However, unlike other games, only reviews from people who have brought wonder bundles of digital entertainment into this world are to be featured. These people include Hideo Kojima, Jade Raymond, and the notorious game making cannon Peter Molyneux.

The First Discussion

Sony Computer Entertainment of America has started a unique strategy for spreading the word of their new product Qore, a game where you take money away from stupid people. In addition to publicising the release of Qore by way of e-mails, press releases, and grifters, Sony plans to go forward with a strategy made famous by Jehovah's Witnesses and the LDS Church. Sony plans to send out it's Sony Defense Force, two by two in white shirts and ties, to spread the good word of Qore.


In a statement, SCEA Marketing Chief Ezra Taft Benson said, "This is a absolutely new idea in the world of video games. I look forward to using our loyal followers to reach out to potential loyal followers." SCEA Digital Media Chief David H. Splane said, "We plan to pound the pavement and doors diligently until all people are followers of the mighty Sony. All will eventually submit to us."

Reaction to this from the gaming community has been variant. Legend668 said, "I will go, I will do, the things my Lord commands." Ultimategreenwarrior said, "Qore sucks! It is absolutely worthless and devoid of value! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to continue reading the greatest publication in the history of man: Official Xbox Magazine." And finally, Redertainment said, "Damn it! There's a reason I'm a shut in.!"


It is unknown how successful this marketing strategy will be for Sony and Qore. Nintendo is expected to respond by revealing that Shigeru Miyamoto is the second coming of Jesus Christ. Meanwhile Microsoft will reveal that Bill Gates is God.