Hunter Red is at his doctor's office waiting to be examined. Hunter is sitting on the exam table when his doctor, Dr. Whitmore, enters with Hunter's chart in his hand.
Dr. Whitmore- So, Mr. Hunter-
Hunter Red- It's Mr. Red. My name is Hunter Red, Red is my last name.
Dr. Whitmore looks at the chart and says,
W- Sorry, I thought that was a typo. So, Mr. Red, it says here you're experiencing some arm pain.
H- Yes, my right shoulder is sore and some times my bicep will twitch on it's own.
W- Okay, lets have you take off your shirt and hold your arm out to the side.
Hunter does what the doctor asks and Dr. Whitmore starts to examine Hunter's arm.
W- Do you get much exercise Mr. Hunter?
R- Not really.
W- You play sports much?
R- No, I kind of really suck at them.
W- So, what were you doing when you started experiencing this discomfort?
R- I was playing the new Tiger Woods PGA.
W- What is that?
R- It's a video game.
W- You know, if you injure yourself playing a video game, you might be really out of shape.
R- Well I was playing it on the Wii, and on the Wii version of the new Tiger Woods game, you have to actually make the swinging motion.
W- So you actually have to swing to play the game?
R- Yeah.
W- And how well does that work?
R- It's kinda good. I haven't gotten down how to do a eighty or seventy-five percent swing, and putting is a pain in the ass-
W- Putting is a pain in real life.
R- Yeah but I've seen it done better ways in different games. Even the 360 version of this year's Tiger Woods has a better putting mechanic. You play golf Doctor?
W- Yeah, in real life, not in a video game.
R- What's your lowest round?
W- Full 18?
R- Yeah.
W- I shot an even par 72 once. I got really lucky that day. How about you?
R- Oh, I've never been golfing in real life.
W- No, I mean in this video game.
R- Oh, I shot a 57 at St. Andrews.
W- Was this just a one time occurrence like with my 72?
R- No, I've shot it five times. I just have to hit it the ball really close to the pin so I don't have to putt for too long of a distance.
W- Ah. Well, I see no real problems with your arm, it just seems like you don't get much exercise and started swinging your arms a lot.
R- Uh-huh.
W- Just give your arm a few days rest, but after that, stretch properly and get a good amount of exercise.
R- Okay.
Hunter hops down off the table and puts his shirt back on.
R- By the way, how much will this visit cost me?
W- Well, you have insurance, so it shouldn't cost you no more than $150.
R- $150? Why does it cost me so much?
W- Because you have insurance. If you didn't have insurance it would cost you considerably much more. Hope to see you again soon Mr. Hunter.
R- It's Mr. Red.
THE END
Tiger woods PGA Tour Wii: B-
The Truth Behind The Story
This week Eric Lempel, PlayStation Network's SCEA director of operations, said that there are no plans to go forward with offering on demand games in the future. Mr. Lempel blamed this on the substantial size of the games on PS3 thanks to the size capabilities of Blu-ray discs. He then went on to spout more propaganda about the wondrous glory of Sony, PS3, and Blu-ray technology.
Bullshit. First of all, outside of Metal Gear Solid 4, I can't think of any PS3 game that fully utilizes the storage capacity of the Blu-ray disc. Most come way short. Even so, with MGS4 they could download each chapter at the points that they installed the chapters regularly. Sure the downloads would take a long time, but that's due to the incompetent online architecture that is PSN, and therein lies the real problem.
If people were expected to utilize PSN more in their use of the Playstation 3 more people would come across the persistent problems that plague PSN. Inconsistent speeds, problems connecting and staying connected, far too frequent firmware updates, the length of time it takes to download and install things, and so on and so forth. More people using the service would lead to more bitching about the service. This is really why on demand games, Netflix instant streaming, and other bandwidth intensive activities are not possible right now. Sony must know the persistent problems that plague PSN, if they don't they are highly irresponsible. Almost as irresponsible is Sony not dealing with the problems and instead sweeping them under the rug and acting like they don't exist.
I really don't have a good ending for this rant. Hey look, a kittie!
Fallout 3 Point Lookout DLC Review
Like any other metropolitan area, the Salt Lake Valley has several malls. The one closest to where I live is called Valley Fair. I went out there the other day because I needed some shoes.
After weaving my way through the construction zone that is 3500 South, I entered Valley Fair parking lot and found a space quite easily. There were a smattering of cars in the lot, none bigger or better looking than my beloved Rubicon. I entered JC Penny's through the main entrance and immediately noticed how few people there were around. There were employees there, manning the tellers and arranging merchandise, but not much of anyone else. There weren't even any perverts staring at the lingerie clad mannequins.
I got my shoes, quickly I might add, then started back the way I came. That is until I felt some hunger pains and headed for the food court. When I left JC Penny's I saw more of what I had previously seen, a space with no people in it. The sound of my footsteps echoed like I was walking in an abandoned cavern, which I practically was. I saw employees, filling out Sodoku puzzles, playing handheld games, fiddling with their nails, and doing other things one does to kill time.
I got a slice of pepperoni and a Pepsi and sat down to eat it, easily finding a table. As I ate, the overwhelming thought I has was, "This place is dead." This is the same thought I had while I was playing the new Fallout 3 DLC, Point Lookout. Outside of those necessary to drive the quest forward and the one merchant on the boardwalk, there are no people in Point Lookout. Granted the Capital Wasteland wasn't brimming with people, but at least there were NPCs milling around with nothing to do in the bigger cities. The boardwalk in Point Lookout is as devoid of life as Valley Fair mall in West Valley City, neither of which are good signs for the future.
Fallout 3 Point Lookout DLC: B
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