Moving In Slow Motion: 46.9% Complete

It's that time again.  Once again payday has come, and time has come to see how much money I've earned, how much of what I've made gets eaten up by bills, and how much money I have to not spend in the pursuit of Project Buy A House.  The calculations are in, and the amount I have to not play around with is...

$228.39.  Okay, that is a nice amount, and will make a significant contribution to my goal of buying a house. Now, let's see the things that I could buy with the amount $228.39, which I'm not because I'm trying to be a responsible adult.  Note that I said trying

Coming up within the next two weeks is the annual celebrations of blowing things up, also knows as Independence Day.  This is a day where Americans, in the immortal words of not-Apu, 

celebrate the independence of our country by blowing up a small part of it.  In years past, I would have eagerly driven up to (Redacted to not incriminate the writer) and come back home with (Redacted to not incriminate the writer).  In this time where I am trying to be economically responsible, this expense may seem to be unnecessary.  However, since I am short sighted in addition to being borderline legally blind, I do not see it this way.  There is another reason why buying a big cache of explodables is not something I will do this year.

I have a neighbor who, in the past couple of years, has bought a big supply of illegal fireworks and set them off in a highly spectacular fashion.  This neighbor of mine puts on a better fireworks display than anything I've seen at the community sponsored events.  And, since the West Valley City Police Department is fucking incompetent, I expect this illegal display to continue on this year.  So, $228.39 left to not spend.

The Last Of Us is a recently released video game that I've heard a lot of good things about.  Artist and sexymotherfucker Ted Bracewell said of the game, "I'm only 4 minutes into The Last of Us and it's already my Game of the Year." And you can buy The Last Of Us on Amazon.com for $50. That's right, you can buy it. I'm not going to because of this project I'm currently pursuing, but, for the purposes of this essay, let's say I have. So, $178.39 left to not spend.

Looking over a list of recently released movies on DVD, there's nothing that I feel particularly motivated to buy.  Even if I wasn't trying to save for a house, I would not buy any of these movies.  So, $178.39 left to not spend.

Looking over the Utah DABC Price List, there is currently a special on Aberlour 12 Year Old Highland Single Malt Scotch Whisky.  The alcohol store is selling this scotch at $39.99.  This is a good price on a Scotch Whisky like this, and Aberlour would look great sitting next to my half finished bottle of Johnny Walker Black, and my sixty percent finished bottle of Tanqueray.  If I was to buy this bottle of whiskey, I would also be buying another bottle of Radio From Hell Red As Hell Ale for $3.96.  So, $134.44 left to not spend.

Speaking of Radio From Hell, it was recently announced on that show that the X96 Big Ass Show is going to be held on August 24th at the Gallivan Center.  $134.44 sounds like a good amount to spend on a show that is always fun to go to.  This would be a good amount if I was for sure going to this show.  As it stands, I may have to go through some spectacular financial gymnastics in order to go to this show, but that is what happens when you pursue a goal in a masochistic manner.

So, there you have it.  I took $228.39 of money that I'm not spending and made a list of things that I will not be buying with the money that I'm not spending.  Don't worry, next week I will not have rent to pay, freeing up more of the money that I have earned for me to not spend on things that will make me immediately happy.

Lessons Learned From Imcompotence

Lessons Learned From Incompetence

On Wednesday, January 9th, the internet at my house went out.  Thanks to a foot of snow falling overnight and the streets around my neighborhood not being plowed, the streets in my neighborhood were slick and icy.  In these conditions, someone hit a CenturyLink utility box that provides the DSL internet service to my neighborhood.  This accident is something that could have been easily fixed if CenturyLink had the proper resources in place to handle the repair.  However, due to CenturyLink's complete and utter incompetence, these resources were not in place, and my neighborhood was left without CenturyLink service for about a week.

Not being to access the internet at my house made me very angry.  Very angry in deed.  If you follow me on Twitter, you are already well aware of this.  In this period of rage, I do what a lot of people do: I played a lot of video games where I could kill a lot of people.  Wow.  Typing that just now makes me feel that my response was kind of messed up.

As I was playing video games while my internet was out, I though of a news story that had broken recently.  Electronic Arts has announced what their strategy was for their upcoming entry in the Sim City franchise.  EA announced that people playing the game would need to always be connected to the internet.  EA said that this was because, in order for the game to play at optimal level, some of the computing would have to be done on EA's servers.  Skeptics slammed EA for this move, saying that the Always-On internet requirement was a way to curb piracy, dismissing what EA was claiming entirely.  However, I'd like to take EA statement on face value, if only for a moment.

Let's say that the internet was out where I lived, much like the situation that CenturyLink put me in due to their incompetence.  Let's say that I wanted to play video games, which is what I did during the period of CenturyLink's incompetence.  Let's say that I wanted to play the new Sim City game that I had legitimately bought from a legitimate retailer, legitimately.  Due to EA Always-On internet requirement, I would be unable to do so.  I would be unable to play a game that I had legitimately bought and that the company who produced the game was still supporting because of the failings of a third party.

This is why I do not support cloud based computing.  I do not want to be in a situation where a third party, who's utterly and unapologetically incompetent, prevents me from accessing something that I find to be critical.  Sure video games may not be of absolute critical importance, but what if I needed to access my banking information, or the place that I work, or health care services, or other things that may lead to actual harm to the lives of myself or the lives of others?  The only person I want to be at fault if something that I'm responsible for doesn't get done is me.  Blaming other people for things not getting done is a behavior that I don't like seeing in other people, much less in myself.

****- Death, Flames, and Rubber Gloves

Tiger Woods PGA 10 Wii Review

Hunter Red is at his doctor's office waiting to be examined. Hunter is sitting on the exam table when his doctor, Dr. Whitmore, enters with Hunter's chart in his hand.

Dr. Whitmore- So, Mr. Hunter-
Hunter Red- It's Mr. Red. My name is Hunter Red, Red is my last name.
Dr. Whitmore looks at the chart and says,
W- Sorry, I thought that was a typo. So, Mr. Red, it says here you're experiencing some arm pain.
H- Yes, my right shoulder is sore and some times my bicep will twitch on it's own.
W- Okay, lets have you take off your shirt and hold your arm out to the side.
Hunter does what the doctor asks and Dr. Whitmore starts to examine Hunter's arm.
W- Do you get much exercise Mr. Hunter?
R- Not really.
W- You play sports much?
R- No, I kind of really suck at them.
W- So, what were you doing when you started experiencing this discomfort?
R- I was playing the new Tiger Woods PGA.
W- What is that?
R- It's a video game.
W- You know, if you injure yourself playing a video game, you might be really out of shape.
R- Well I was playing it on the Wii, and on the Wii version of the new Tiger Woods game, you have to actually make the swinging motion.
W- So you actually have to swing to play the game?
R- Yeah.
W- And how well does that work?
R- It's kinda good. I haven't gotten down how to do a eighty or seventy-five percent swing, and putting is a pain in the ass-
W- Putting is a pain in real life.
R- Yeah but I've seen it done better ways in different games. Even the 360 version of this year's Tiger Woods has a better putting mechanic. You play golf Doctor?
W- Yeah, in real life, not in a video game.
R- What's your lowest round?
W- Full 18?
R- Yeah.
W- I shot an even par 72 once. I got really lucky that day. How about you?
R- Oh, I've never been golfing in real life.
W- No, I mean in this video game.
R- Oh, I shot a 57 at St. Andrews.
W- Was this just a one time occurrence like with my 72?
R- No, I've shot it five times. I just have to hit it the ball really close to the pin so I don't have to putt for too long of a distance.
W- Ah. Well, I see no real problems with your arm, it just seems like you don't get much exercise and started swinging your arms a lot.
R- Uh-huh.
W- Just give your arm a few days rest, but after that, stretch properly and get a good amount of exercise.
R- Okay.
Hunter hops down off the table and puts his shirt back on.
R- By the way, how much will this visit cost me?
W- Well, you have insurance, so it shouldn't cost you no more than $150.
R- $150? Why does it cost me so much?
W- Because you have insurance. If you didn't have insurance it would cost you considerably much more. Hope to see you again soon Mr. Hunter.
R- It's Mr. Red.
THE END

Tiger woods PGA Tour Wii: B-



The Truth Behind The Story

This week Eric Lempel, PlayStation Network's SCEA director of operations, said that there are no plans to go forward with offering on demand games in the future. Mr. Lempel blamed this on the substantial size of the games on PS3 thanks to the size capabilities of Blu-ray discs. He then went on to spout more propaganda about the wondrous glory of Sony, PS3, and Blu-ray technology.

Bullshit. First of all, outside of Metal Gear Solid 4, I can't think of any PS3 game that fully utilizes the storage capacity of the Blu-ray disc. Most come way short. Even so, with MGS4 they could download each chapter at the points that they installed the chapters regularly. Sure the downloads would take a long time, but that's due to the incompetent online architecture that is PSN, and therein lies the real problem.

If people were expected to utilize PSN more in their use of the Playstation 3 more people would come across the persistent problems that plague PSN. Inconsistent speeds, problems connecting and staying connected, far too frequent firmware updates, the length of time it takes to download and install things, and so on and so forth. More people using the service would lead to more bitching about the service. This is really why on demand games, Netflix instant streaming, and other bandwidth intensive activities are not possible right now. Sony must know the persistent problems that plague PSN, if they don't they are highly irresponsible. Almost as irresponsible is Sony not dealing with the problems and instead sweeping them under the rug and acting like they don't exist.

I really don't have a good ending for this rant. Hey look, a kittie!




Fallout 3 Point Lookout DLC Review

Like any other metropolitan area, the Salt Lake Valley has several malls. The one closest to where I live is called Valley Fair. I went out there the other day because I needed some shoes.

After weaving my way through the construction zone that is 3500 South, I entered Valley Fair parking lot and found a space quite easily. There were a smattering of cars in the lot, none bigger or better looking than my beloved Rubicon. I entered JC Penny's through the main entrance and immediately noticed how few people there were around. There were employees there, manning the tellers and arranging merchandise, but not much of anyone else. There weren't even any perverts staring at the lingerie clad mannequins.

I got my shoes, quickly I might add, then started back the way I came. That is until I felt some hunger pains and headed for the food court. When I left JC Penny's I saw more of what I had previously seen, a space with no people in it. The sound of my footsteps echoed like I was walking in an abandoned cavern, which I practically was. I saw employees, filling out Sodoku puzzles, playing handheld games, fiddling with their nails, and doing other things one does to kill time.

I got a slice of pepperoni and a Pepsi and sat down to eat it, easily finding a table. As I ate, the overwhelming thought I has was, "This place is dead." This is the same thought I had while I was playing the new Fallout 3 DLC, Point Lookout. Outside of those necessary to drive the quest forward and the one merchant on the boardwalk, there are no people in Point Lookout. Granted the Capital Wasteland wasn't brimming with people, but at least there were NPCs milling around with nothing to do in the bigger cities. The boardwalk in Point Lookout is as devoid of life as Valley Fair mall in West Valley City, neither of which are good signs for the future.

Fallout 3 Point Lookout DLC: B