White Games Episode 1

This weekend went up to Portland, Oregon. I won't tell you why, but it has something to do with this:

You're All Invited

Elvis and Allison Red And Denis and Marissa Anderson
are proud to announce the wedding of
Hunter Wallace Red and Robin Crystal Anderson
On November First, in the year of your Lord Two Thousand and Ten.
A private ceremony will be held with a public reception to follow at the Gnasu Reception Hall at 8583 South East Temple, Sandy, Utah at 7 PM. All are invited to attend the reception and wish the happy couple a joyous and fruitful life together.
The couple is registered at The Blue Boutique.
Open Bar

So, instead of a full blog post this week, I'm posting this pilot I wrote a while back. ENJOY!



White Games- Episode 1- Shoots and Ladders

White Games is a show about three people who drink, play games, and drink. Mark White is the owner of White Games, a new and used video game store that if were a bar would be considered a dive. Mark began White Games as an excuse to drink and play video games while working. In his mind, he is a success.
Kari Allison is the owner of the shop next door called "Stuff and Things". She sells stuff... and things. Kari often gets drunk with Mark, but the two are in no way romantically inclined. Not even accidentally.
Dustin Short is Mark's employee, friend, and receiver of abuse. Dustin does drink, but not nearly as much as Mark. Dustin handles the money for White Games.


White Games store- Day
Mark is sitting at the cashier's counter smoking a cigarette, playing a game, and drinking a bottle of red wine. In the store music is playing, abrasive death metal. Dustin walks into the store and tries to talk to Mark, but because of the metal he fails. Mark tries to respond, he fails. Dustin yells and motions to Mark to turn the music down. Mark puts his hands up as to say he can't hear Dustin. Dustin then begins to yell at Mark when suddenly Mark turns the music down.

Dustin- -unapologetic dumb fuck who could give a rat's ass what other people think.

Dustin realizes Mark can hear him.

Dustin- Ummm, sorry man.
Mark- You know, I could fire you right now. That is if what you said wasn't true.
Dustin- Still, I shouldn't have said it.
Mark- Well, if I turn the music back up, you can continue saying it without me knowing.
Dustin- Why do you insist on listening to metal in the store?
Mark- It soothes me.
Dustin- Yeah, but won't it put customers off?
Mark- Remember? I could give a rat's ass what other people think. Besides, the typical customer comes in here wearing an iPod and isolating headphones. They can't hear anything that's going on, much less metal.
Dustin- Are you sure about that?

A customer comes into the store and starts to browse the inventory. He's wearing big padded isolated headphones.

Dustin- Hello sir.

No response from the customer.

Dustin- Is there anything I can help you find?

Again, no response.

Mark- I fucked your mother.

No response.

Mark- And as I was doing do she said, "Oh, you're so much better at this than my son."

No response. The customer picks up several games from around the store and takes them to the cashier stand. Mark rings them up and then points at the display showing the customer his total. The customer hands Mark a credit card. Mark runs the credit card, puts the games in a bag, tears off the receipt, and hands the bag, card, and games to the customer. The customer takes the items and walks directly out.

Mark- You see. Didn't hear anything outside of his own personal world.
Dustin- You're right, but don't turn the metal on anyway.
Mark- Why the fuck not?
Dustin- Because I can't work with that loud music, and if I can't work, you won't know how much money you have.
Mark- Now see, that's a good reason. Why didn't you say that in the first place?

Dustin sighs and goes to the back to work. Mark polishes off the wine then starts to fish around under the counter.

Mark- Where the fuck.

Mark begins rustling around under the counter. Mark then comes out from under the counter and says-

Mark- You've gotta be fucking kidding me! Dustin, get out here!

Dustin emerges from the back.

Dustin- What is it Mark?
Mark- I'm out of alcohol.
Dustin- You sure?
Mark- Yes! I finished the bottle of wine I brought and the fridge is totally empty! The only thing left is this milk and a bagel. What can I do with those things?
Dustin- So why did you call for me?
Mark- I need more booze. You're driving.
Dustin- Fuck you.
Mark- No, the correct response is "can we stop for treats on the way?"
Dustin- My response is fuck you, I ain't driving you.
Mark- Why the fuck not?
Dustin- Because the last time you were drunk in my car you threw up in it.
Mark- And?
Dustin- It costs $300 to clean and you haven't paid me back.
Mark- Oh darn it.

Dustin goes back to the back.

Mark- Will you go out and get me some lunch?
Dustin- It's 10:30, no.

Mark sits behind the cashier's deck for a second then stands up and starts to leave.

Mark- I'm going over to see Kari, mind the shop for a second.
Dustin- Okay.


Stuff and Games store- Day
Kari is sitting behind the counter of her store, absolutely bored out her skull, when she hears the bell signifying that someone's just entered.

Kari- Hello and welcome to-

Kari sees it's Mark.

Kari- Oh, it's just you.
Mark- Kari, I have a problem.
Kari- How many times do I have to tell you that Google is a better way to figure out how to clean up your vomit than I am?
Mark- That's not it.
Kari- Tell me what it is, but make it quick, a customer might come in today.
Mark- I'm outta booze.
Kari- And?
Mark- I wanna get more.
Kari- So, have Dustin take you.
Mark- He said no.
Kari- Does that mean he knows you were the one who pissed all over the interior of his car?
Mark- No, he's still mad about me vomiting in it.
Kari- Well I can't help you.
Mark- Why not?
Kari- A customer might come in.
Mark- Come on. The stuff you sell mainly appeals to stoners, and we're weeks away from 4/20. What's the real reason you won't take me?

Kari fishes under the counter and pulls up a half empty bottle of vodka and loudly places it on the counter.

Mark- Aw, god damn it!

Mark leaves Stuff and Things.

Kari- Thank you, come again.


White Games- Day
Mark reenters the store. Dustin is sitting behind the counter and a single counter, same type as before, is browsing. Mark walks behind the counter and says-

Mark- Get the fuck out of my chair!
Dustin- I'm sure the customer appreciates you loudly swearing.

Mark turns and in a voice loud enough to fill the entire store says-

Mark- Free handjobs to all customers who purchase a game within the next five seconds.

No response from the customer.

Mark- See? He can't fucking hear me. Now, move!

Dustin gets up from the chair which Mark promptly fills.

Dustin- So, did Kari agree to take you to get booze?
Mark- No, she's drunk too. Now what am I supposed to do?
Dustin- You could get some work done while sober.
Mark- Why the fuck would I want to do that?

The customer approaches the counter with a game in his hand. The customer takes off his headphones and says-

Customer- Excuse me?
Mark- Ah, so you've come out of your own personal sanctuary to interact with the outside world.
Customer- I'd like to buy this, please?
Mark- Good for you!
Dustin- That's one of the games we keep in the glass case.
Mark- I know that. I was giving the customer crap because I don't have access to the more enjoyable activity of getting shit faced.
Customer- Could you make it quick, I'm in a hurry.
Mark- What do you have to get back to your comfortable world of ones and zeroes that combine together to make the dreck that's slowly turning you deaf.
Dustin- Will you get the god damn game out of the mother fucking case!

Mark is shocked by this comment from Dustin and goes over to get the game out of the case.

Dustin- I'm sorry sir, it's just my boss has had a really bad-
Customer- Fuck you. If I wanted someone to kiss my ass I'd go to the brothel where your mom works.
Mark- You know, I like this kid.
Dustin- Get the fucking game!
Mark- Okay, there it is.

Mark unlocks the case, takes a game out of the case, then gets a weird look on his face.

Mark- Hey moron, hold this.
Dustin- Don't call the customer a moron.
Mark- I wasn't talking to the customer.

Mark hands Dustin several games then reaches deep into the case, then pulls something out.

Mark- I know I stashed this somewhere around here.
Dustin- What is it?

Mark turns around and holds a glass bottle containing liquid aloft.

Mark- Behold, my emergence brandy!

Mark takes the top off the bottle of brandy and begins to down it. As he's doing this he rings up the customer, takes the customer's card, runs it, and gives the card, receipt, and game back to the customer. He then stops drinking the brandy and says-

Mark- Have a nice day sir.

The customer leaves.

Dustin- Well, not that you've got your alcohol, I'll get back to work.
Mark- Damn right!

Dustin walks to the back as Mark continues to down his brandy. Once Dustin is in the back, Mark turns the abrasive metal back on.

END SCENE