Hunter Red is sitting in his office furiously typing away and muttering as he does so.
Hunter Red- Witty adjective, strategically placed swear word, phrase that is blatantly racist, noun, verb involved in sexual intercourse, and... done. Finished!
Hunter Red stands up and raises his hands in the air.
Hunter Red- VICTORY!!! I have finally finished my fourth book. VICTORY!!!
Hunter Red sits back down.
Hunter Red- Okay, now to name it.
Hunter Red thinks for a moment. He thinks, thinks, and does additional thinking.
Hunter Red- I know, Odyssey Dawn. It's grand and expansive without giving any of the plot away. Odyssey Dawn, perfect.
Hunter Red is visibly pleased with himself.
Hunter Red- Okay, now to catch up on the news.
Hunter Red reads some news stories, including one about the US led operation in Libya. Hunter Red is furious when he reads the name of this operation.
Hunter Red- Damn it! Goddamn it! I have the perfect title for my exploitative teen sex drama, and the goddamn Pentagon has to use it for an operation where they blow stuff up. Damn it! What am I supposed to name my book now.
Hunter Red thinks for a moment.
Hunter Red- How about Punitive Expedition. Surely no one's thought to use that name for war.
END SCENE
Space
I'm floating. I'm floating effortlessly is a sea of pure nothing. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I move forward into nothing. I move backward into nothing. I move sideways into nothing. I move slantways into nothing.
This nothing feels free. Everything I do, everything I say, everything I think, everything is free. Free feels good. Very good. The kind of goodness I haven't experienced in a long time. The kind of goodness that can only come in this sea of infinite nothing.
This feels good but it doesn't feel right. Something is amiss. Something, in this place of good feelings, feels wrong. I can't quite place it, but I feel this sudden onset of malaise.
I look around and see nothing. Nothing. Completely nothing. No objects, no matter, nothing, but most especially no people. There's no people around. That is what is wrong. Humans are supposed to be social creatures, it's what we are taught to be, to like, to crave from the time we are born, and yet the only way I can feel good is when there is no one around.
Why? Why am I like this? Why is my brain wired like this? Why? Why?
Reconsidering
You know, after hearing this song, I no longer think Bon Jovi totally fucking sucks.
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