****- The Second Annual Four Star Gaming Awards

The Second Annual Four Star Gaming Awards

Welcome to The Second Annual Four Star Gaming Awards. This year we are proud to say that we have doubled the amount of judges determining the awards compared to last year. We have increased the judge count from two to four. (Hold for applause.) We at the Redertainment Corporation Of America are proud to have as our judges Shiroen8, courtesy of the Dead Pixel Live forums, Hydroponic, courtesy of 1UP, Tommy Ingallinera, courtesy of Bitmob, and Hunter Red, courtesy of Completedumbass.com.

Without further ado, let the awards commence.



Downloadable Game Of The Year
Nominees- Battlefield 1943, Fallout 3 DLC, Fat Princess, Grand Theft Auto IV DLC, Revenge Of The Ball, Shadow Complex, Trials HD, Zen Pinball

In a year filled with substantial console downloadable content and fully integrated multiplayer experiences, our winner managed to do something that people openly dismissed. Chair Entertainment managed to create a current generation high definition Metroid-style two dimensional side scrolling shooter. Shadow Complex reaches back into legendary past and brings it into the realm of now.

The winner of The Four Star Gaming Award for Downloadable Game Of The Year is Shadow Complex.



PS3 Game Of The Year
Nominees- Demon’s Souls, Infamous, Modern Warfare 2, Uncharted 2: Among Thieves

The Playstation 3 seems to have gained a lot of momentum this year. Between the price cut, the PS3 Slim, and the increased adoption of Blu-Ray, Sony has greatly decreased the distance between its console and Microsoft’s Xbox 360. However what makes and breaks any console is its games and the Playstation 3 had plenty of stellar releases this year. While choosing one may discount the others, one must be chosen to receive this award.

The first Uncharted title was a stellar early title in the history of the Playstation 3. Uncharted 2 is a must own. The graphics are top notch, the story seems ripped form an adventure movie, and the voice talent actually conveys that they have talent. But the gameplay is what sets this game apart from the rest. Combat elements that are usually reserved for first person shooters, enemies that actually have brains instead of just hollow cavities for bullets to pass through, and levels that are designed to be as beautiful as they are challenging.

The winner of The Four Star Gaming Awards for PS3 Game Of The Year is Uncharted 2: Among Thieves.



Wii Game Of The Year
Nominees- Dead Space: Extraction, The Demon Blade, Madworld, President Cat, Tiger Woods PGA 10, Wii Sex(Not an actual game but a video on Youtube)

There are people who wonder aloud if a mature themed game can be successful on the Wii. These people include many game developers. Fortunately some developers have taken this risk, it’s just unfortunate that these developers aren’t rewarded more.

Madworld from Sega is a game that feels like the plot of The Running Man set in the world of Escape From New York, all done in black and white. Madworld is a game that doesn’t shy away from its brutality. In fact, it seems to revel in it. Creativity is clearly rewarded in this game, namely really creatively slaughtering people.

The winner of The Four Star Gaming Award for Wii Game Of The Year is Madworld.



Xbox 360 Game Of The Year
Nominees- Batman: Arkham Asylum, Borderlands, Grand Theft Auto IV: The Ballad Of Gay Tony, Halo Wars, Prototype

Batman as a video game franchise is one that was hurt by games that are described as abysmal, horrendous, terrible, and other synonyms for extremely bad. Because of this, when Rocksteady announced they were working on a Batman game skepticism was high. Skepticism was also high because, until this year, Rocksteady was not a well known company. Boy did this company deliver.

Batman: Arkham Asylum is a game that has received praise from nearly everybody that has played it. Even Marvel Comics fans have to give props to this DC triumph. There is a reason why when the Batman: Arkham Asylum 2 trailer played at the VGAs it got the reaction it did, because Rocksteady created a game that left the gaming public yearning for more.

The winner of The Four Star Gaming Award for Xbox 360 Game Of The Year is Batman: Arkham Asylum.



Disappointment Of The Year
Nominees- Bionic Commando, Cross Edge, King Of Fighters XII, the single player campaign of Modern Warfare 2, Resident Evil 5, Scribblenauts

As good as many of the games of 2009 were, some were just plain disappointing. Whether it was not living up to the precedent set before, not living up to the legend of the original, not living up to the hype generated at an event, or just plain kicking fans in the nuts, game companies are finding new and revolutionary ways to disappoint the gaming public. This award is presented in order to point out and bring an end to gaming disappointments. That will never happen but we can try.

Resident Evil is one of those game franchises that people just adore. It is said of the survival horror genre that you are either a Silent Hill fan or a Resident Evil fan. Resident Evil 5 was a game that received a lot of hype but failed to deliver in a way that was so disappointing.

Sheva sucks. Period. She has no redeeming qualities, no true positive aspects, and is as dumb as a barren rock. You basically have to play this game in co-op because to endure Sheva is to truly know what suffering is in a video game setting.

The narrative is RE5 is downright insulting. It appears as if they just created a bunch of levels and threw together a story to vaguely connect them, Given the widely variant levels in RE5 this was a near impossible job. How they connected an ancient labyrinthine tomb to a modern state of the art scientific laboratory is something I still have not figured out.

Resident Evil 5 is a game that was treated as a Triple A title but failed to live up to that level of excellence. That is why Resident Evil 5 is receiving The Four Star Gaming Award for Disappointment Of The Year.



Non-Gaming Thing Most Deserving Of An Award
Now we come to the least serious award of the night, and, unfortunately, several of our judges approached it in just that way. Nominees for this award included Taco Bell, for barely being food, The Situation from Jersey Shore, for the abs he has dubbed “The Situation”, and Crossing The Rubicon by The Sounds, for Swedish Rock never rocked me so good before in my life. We did receive some serious nominations, and from among those a winner has been chosen. Here it is.

Quentin Tarantino is an American filmmaker whose work one must watch in order to truly know what American films are. Mr. Tarantino has brought us many iconic characters. The Bride from Kill Bill, Stuntman Mike from Death Proof, and Jules Winnfield from Pulp Fiction are just some of these characters. In 2009 Quentin gave us another iconic character, however in order for a character to be great it must be played by an actor who can make full use of the opportunity for greatness. Christoph Waltz did exactly that.

The first scene of Inglorious Basterds sets up Col. Hans Lander, the Jew Hunter, perfectly. Charismatic, well spoken, and evil. These characteristics are further shown in the crepe scene in the restaurant with Shosanna, and the confrontation of the conspirator Bridget von Hammersmark. Christoph Waltz pulls off this character brilliantly. Never once is the illusion broken with the Jew Hunter, like it unfortunately is with Brad Pitt’s Aldo Raine. Hans Lander is the kind of evil presence you love to see at work but wince when you actually see his work.

For his portrayal of The Jew Hunter in Inglorious Basterds, The Four Star Gaming Award in the category of Non-Gaming Thing Most Deserving Of An Award goes to Christoph Waltz.

Game Of The Year
Nominees- Batman: Arkham Asylum, Demon’s Souls, Madworld, Prototype, Uncharted 2: Among Thieves

This year there were many stellar games over all of the current generation consoles. In an environment like this, you’d think it would be hard to chose one game above all others. However, one game managed to stand tall among the others in ways that in impossible to ignore. Not much can be said this game that hasn’t already been said, except for this.

The winner of The Four Star Gaming Award for Game Of The Year is Uncharted 2: Among Thieves.



So there you have it, the Second Annual Four Star Gaming Awards. We’d like to thank our judges Shiroen8, Hydroponic, Tommy Ingallinera, and Hunter Red for contributing to this year’s awards. Next year should be another great year for the video game industry, giving much inspiration for The Third Annual Four Star Gaming Awards. Hope to see you then.

****- Hot Women Read My Blog? ORLY?

First Paris Hilton, Now Mischa Barton, Who's The Next Worthless Bitch To Encroach On My Hobby!

Recently a new trailer all but confirmed all of the villains that will appear in the hotly anticipated Batman: Arkham Asylum. However, like many other games, some late changes have been made to this game's villain lineup. None of the previously seen villains have been cut, but rather one has been added. This is a villain that has not appeared in any Batman related project to this point, but is a character based on events in the semi-real world.

Recently former relevant person Mischa Barton was checked into the psychiatric ward at Cedar Sinai Medical Center against her will. This had led to rampant and hurtful speculation as to what drove her there. This includes one unapologetic jackass who said she was there because she suffers from the delusion that the OC was a relevant and good television program.

Inspired by this tragic yet funny event, Rocksteady Studios, the developer behind Batman: Arkham Asylum, decided to add a new villain based a certain person who used to contribute positively to society. This new villain, named Vapid Wayste, is a costumed female who in her past was once a threat to all of humanity, especially the smart people. Recently Vapid Wayste has been doing nothing but smoking cigarettes and consuming prescription pills like most kids consume M&M's.

Saul Silver, a designer for Rocksteady Studios, released the following statement about this new villain. "One day we were high and we had an idea we thought was totally fucking awesome at the time. Upon reflection, we were totally fucking wrong about that. We're going to go forward with it anyway. After all, if people didn't go forward with ideas they knew were totally wrong for everyone, the OC would have never existed."

Batman: Arkham Asylum is set for release on August 25th. Mischa Barton is expected to be formally committed as soon as they can remove all the cigarettes from her house. Projected date for this is March 19th 2017.




Commodities. Yay! (Sarcasm Emoticon)

Now is the time when we here at the Redertainment Corporation Of America take a minute to look at the commodities market.

Today the price of a barrel of crude oil set for delivery in September rose $.35 to a six week high of $65.97. This rise is attributed to continuing tensions in the middle east, particularly in Iraq and Iran. This rise was stifled by the recent announcement of increased drilling off the coast of California.

The price of heating oil fell $1.16 to a five year low of $10.16 today. This decline was driven by projections of above average temperatures for the winter months caused by global climate change. This drop was made worse by the weakening of the US dollay against the Euro and the Yen.

Also today the price of natural gas rose by $.15 to a price of $67.24. This is in line with a trend in the price of natural gas, having increased $25.97 since the beginning of fiscal year 2006. The increase in the price of natural gas is attributed by increased consumption by municipal transit systems, particularly in areas where the price of gasoline is relatively high. This trend is expected to continue until automobiles with higher gas mileages become more prevalent in the market.

In a shocking turn of events, the value of Brent Crude rose by $.64 to a value of $66.64. This breaks the deflationary trend in the value of Brent Crude that had persisted unabated since March of 2001. When asked to comment on this sudden change, Mr. Crude said, "This week I put down a pre-order for the Prestige Edition of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. Those night vision goggles are so bad ass." This uptick in Brent Crude's value is being attributed to the future possibility that Mr. Crude will have an increased opposite gender desirability quotient, possibly because of his future possession of night vision goggles. This increase in Mr. Crude's opposite gender desirability quotient is expected to be especially strong among females who are intoxicated, have a less than average personal value perception, or are otherwise easier to engage in human sexual intercourse with. The increase in the value of Brent Crude is not expected to last long as Mr. Crude's current domestic residence is his maternal life giver's basement.

That does it for the Redertaiment Corporation Of America's look at the current standings of the commodities market. We now return you to your regularly scheduled dick joke.



ORLY 2.0?

The picture shown above is the one of the many images containing the ORLY Owl. This is a popular internet meme among people who spend too much time online. Recently a new entry in the ORLY universe has surfaced. Ladies, gentleman, and everyone else, I present to you the ORLY Racist Nutbag.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
The Born Identity
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Joke of the Day

2:45 in.



Red Eats Out (Insert Sex Joke Here)

Hunter Red, pictured above, goes out on a Sunday morning to eat at a local restaurant. Hunter is seated, receives his meal, and begins to eat. While Hunter is eating, the restaurant's manager comes over to speak to him.
Manager- Hello sir.
Hunter finishes chewing what he's eating, swallows, then speaks.
Hunter- Hi.
M- Are you enjoying your meal this morning sir?
H- Yes I am.
M- Is everything to your satisfaction?
H- Yes, it is.
M- Very good. Just one final question for you sir, do you have a blog?
Hunter looks at the Manager with this bewildered look on his face.
H- Do I have a blog?
M- That was my question sir.
H- Yes, I do. I dare say everyone and their bog has a blog.
M- Where can I find this blog?
H- Redertainment.com, it's called The Four Stars Blog.
The Manager fishes an iPhone out of his pocket and goes through the process of pulling up Hunter's blog. As the Manager does this, Hunter resumes eating.
M- Ah, yes sir, I've pulled up your blog here sir, and it looks like a very nice blog sir. Can I ask you to do one more thing sir?
Again, Hunter finishes chewing what he's eating, swallows, then speaks.
H- What is it?
M- Can you not post a review of your experience here today until next Monday?
H- What?
M- It's just that I know that blogs are very popular nowadays, and I'm sure your blog is very popular as well-
H- Not really. Redertainment.com only gets about thirteen visitors a week.
M- Well anyway, we value our reputation, and although you wouldn't do anything malicious toward us, we'd appreciate it if you'd hold off on posting a review on us until next Monday.
H- Um, sure. I'm probably not going to write a review about this place, but if I did it would probably be favorable.
M- So you're enjoying your experience here today?
H- Yeah, that's like the first question you asked me.
M- Oh, well then feel free to post a review on your blog as soon as you are able to do so.
H- What?
M- If you're going to post a favorable review of us, then please feel free to ignore our Monday embargo date and post that review as soon as you feel comfortable.
Hunter looks at the Manager again with this look of bewilderment.
H- Okay.
M- In fact, if you want, feel free to work on your review here in our restaurant. you can use all the time that you want. I'd even let you use my iPhone.
H- No thanks, that won't be necessary.
M- Well, you just keep on enjoying your experience here with us, and let me know if you need anything at all. I'll even send one of my waitresses over to keep you company, if you catch my drift.
The Manager walks away from the tale. Hunter still has this weird look on his face as he digs back into his meal. Then a waitress passes by. Hunter takes a good long look at her and says-
H- Oh manager.