For years I have been looking for the perfect synergy of two things I have been a fan of since I was a kid: Metal and Japanese culture. I have tried playing video games while listening to death metal, listening to Gojira, and even cosplaying as Jonathan Davis. None of that has given me quite the dynamic experience I have been looking for. I had all but given up on realizing my dream, untill I saw this:
This has everything I was looking for: Metal, Japanese women, other things, and more! I've never been much into J-Pop, but if it's anything like Babymetal, count me in!
We help
them by giving them our tools, our keys, our strategies for love that we think
could easily work for them.These people
with a jumbled perspective on love simply can't connect the dots.For those with a jumbled perspective on love,
this doesn't help.Like putting together
a large jigsaw puzzle, for those with a jumbled perspective on love, figuring
it out takes time and effort on their part.They have to slowly put it together.
They have
to work on it.They see people going on
dates, eating dinner, walking hand in hand, being all lovey dovey, and are
unable to see how one relates to another.What's worse is that we know these people are out there.They can't see one thing leading to another,
leading to another, leading to an idealized goal.
They have
to do it for themselves in order for the jumbled mess to become something
clear, healthy, and, ultimately, beautiful.We see them struggling in the arena of love.They have to find strategies that work for
them.The way that love is different
from person to person.It changes based
on the relationship we are in, the length of time spent in that relationship,
the person you are with, other people you have been with, other people's
relationships, instability in the world, and so on, and so on, and so on.There is also a growing group of people to
whom love is a jumbled mess.Some people
lack a healthy perspective on love.To
some, love is a long sought after thing.
No one
else can do it for them.Then we try to
help them.Most people with a jumbled
perspective on love have tried figuring out the concept of love using many of
the strategies that other have utilized.We feel sorry for them because they are struggling while we are
flourishing.These people see love,
either happening to themselves or to the people they observe, and can't make
sense of it.The fact that they still
have the jumbled perspective is proof that those strategies haven't worked for
them.
What lies
above is a twenty-three sentence piece.The first sentence of this piece can be called #1.The last sentence of the piece can be called
#23.The sentences, rather than being
arranged in the way that they normally are in pieces of work, are arranged
randomly.This is the way the individual
sentences in this piece are arranged:
According to this story, KoRn will be crafting a song for the upcoming game Silent Hill Downpour. This story has caused much consternation, particularly among people who think KoRn is way beyond it's prime and should just stop. I have a different perspective on this story. KoRn is one of my favorite bands, depending on my mood the number one on my list. There are very few bands that I can listen to and enter a state of bliss that one usually only achieves with the use of drugs. KoRn is one of those bands for me. I will continue to defend KoRn untill the day I die. However, I don't think KoRn is a good fit for the Silent Hill series. Silent Hill is one of those game series that can evoke the kind of chill in the gaming public that is usually only found in people who watch horror films. Silent Hill is more about what isn't there and what may be around the corner than shocking you with a monster jumping out in your face. Silent Hill is atmosphere in video game form. The music in Silent Hill adds to the atmosphere in these games. The music in the Silent Hill series is slow, creeping, and resonate. The work of Akira Yamaoka is held in high acclaim within the ardent fans of the Silent Hill franchise. Many have tried and failed to replicate the work of Akira Yamaoka. KoRn will be among them. There was a time when KoRn could produce horror movie quality music. KoRn's 2002 album Untouchables is an example of that. Listen to this:
Those three songs are examples of KoRn's ability to make songs that are slow, creeping, and resonate. However, after the departure of guitarist Brian Welch, KoRn lost that ability. Listen to this:
KoRn tracks after the departure of Brian Welch just seem to lack a certain kind of atmosphere. It's not they're bad, they are just lacking somehow. It's that lacking quality that makes KoRn not the ideal choice for contributing music to the Silent Hill franchise.
There's also this:
Let's just all try and forget about that game.
How To Scam Someone Using Mad Lib Technology
I was browsing on Access Hollywood's news site last sunday and read on this make money at home job where anyone with a vibrator can bring home $5431+ a week! I really didn't believe it but still I had to give it a shot and I actually made $711.33 my second day. Ive already been paid by monkey butler its the greatest thing that's happened to me, honestly.
Heres the site: http://www.Treefuckers.com/
Everybody can do the Charleston so im informing all my sexual partners to join and make some cash your self and at the same time you should send this grappling hook to every one you know so that we can all eliminate the brown people. If I can do it, you can too. It's super horny. Do it now because they are writing about charging big ass batteries for new members as close as this Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday.
** NOTICE OF FACIAL WARTS ** This communication may contain teddy bears that is confidential, legally privileged or exempt from fully nude strip searches and is not intended for children beyond the intended recipient without the sender's credit card information. If you have received this email in a giant pile of ape shit or are not the intended dope fiend, please note that any dissemination or copying of this bullshit is strictly encouraged. Anyone who receives this communication in pet hair should immediately notify the H. Jon Benjamin, delete the anal fissures and destroy any giant shimmering dilldos. Thank you for your penis.
the metropolis of the whole kingdom below, upon the firm earth. him nervous. He begins to doubt himself. I try to cheer him up,
know at once that in my opinion there is not any functional prostate vibrators.
Duke Nukem Forever Thoughts On June 14th, 2011, Duke Nukem Forever finally came out. Upon it's release, the game was met with a resounding "meh". Most of the reviews of Duke Nukem Forever are negative, which is something that doesn't shock me. When the Guns N Roses album Chinese Democracy was finally released, it was met with a resounding "meh". This despite this album being kind of good. When Gran Turismo 5 was finally released, it was met with a resounding "meh". This despite many racing game aficionados crediting the game as one of the best in it's genre. Finally, when Stephen Ridge came out of the closet after long and fervent speculation about his sexuality, Stephen was met with a resounding "meh". This despite Stephen being not so fugly.
My point is this: No matter how good Duke Nukem Forever is, it was going to be met with "meh" because of how long people had been anticipating it. There was no way the game was going to match the anticipation, just like how Stephen was never going to be met with the same kind of attention among the gay community as he would had when he was twenty.
When I was a kid, cellphones were used to make calls. I know, weird huh? Today, cellphones can play games, run apps, update the Twitbook, and, on occasion, make phone calls. Now with the iPhone 4, you can't even make calls! They say it's an antenna problem, but come on. How can they call it an "iPhone" if it can't make phone calls! So this week, on Handynerd Corner, I'm going to show you how to fix your iPhone's antenna problem.
Now, I could just wrap the whole thing in the handynerd's secret weapon, duct tape, but that would be too easy of a solution. I mean if that solution could work, someone would have come up with it already. Now, Apple tells you the solution is to buy a bumper from them, but you know what, NO! I'm not giving you more money to fix a problem that you caused and you should fix anyway! Besides, all this bumper is just a circular piece is rubber that goes around the outside of the iPhone, and I know where to get a circular piece of rubber. My wallet.
This, nerds and lurkers, is a "condom". A condom is a latex, polyurethane, or lambskin device used to prevent the sharing of various fluids when engaging in sexual intercourse. Intercourse is that thing you spend hours watching people do online. Now, all I have to do is roll out the condom, remove the phallic shaped portion, and place the outside ring of the condom on the outside of the iPhone 4. Now to take the condom out of the package.
Hunter tears open the condom package, looks inside, then pours out a pile of dust from the package.
Okay, looks like I need to get my own condom, since the one my Dad gave me seems to have expired several years ago. So, we're going to go on with the show, while I go to the place where condoms are sold. I think I'm going to have to Google "Where can I buy condoms?" to find out where to buy them.
Red Bliss
The new KoRn CD is out. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Handynerd Corner: 2
Okay, so I went down to one of the 2874 gas stations I have within a five minute drive of me and picked up a pack of condoms, as well as some Funyuns and a bottle of Coke.
Hunter takes the condom out of the package and finds that there's actually a condom in there.
Okay, now to just remove the phallic portion of the condom from the ring.
Hunter has removed all but the outside ring from the condom.
Now, I'm just going to slip the condom on the iPhone.
Hunter tries to put the condom on the iPhone and fails.
Okay, now to just-
Hunter tries again, gets the condom on one corner and fails.
Okay, now-
Hunter gets the condom on three corners of the iPhone then fails.
Okay, this appears to be harder then it appears. Maybe I need to find something bigger.
Hunter thinks for a second.
I could get those jumbo condoms, but no one would actually believe I can fill one of those. Wait! I'll be back
Bobby And Chris
Bobby Kotick is sitting in his office at the headquarters of The Great Empire Of Activision. He's sitting behind his desk, thinking.
Bobby- We implemented this Real ID system, which displays the real names of our users in our games, and now people are complaining about it. They're saying it could lead to widespread abuses, stalking, and vigilantism. How can we silence these people?
Bobby's face lights up as he's just had an idea. He picks up the phone on his desk and dials.
Bobby looks at the camera and maintains the evil look on his face through the fade.
Chris Buttars is sitting in his office at his office at his home in West Jordan, Utah. He's sitting behind his desk thinking.
Chris- We're currently crafting a law that would closely resemble the Immigration Law that was just passed in Arizona, and now people are complaining about it. They're saying it could lead to widespread abuses, stalking, and vigilantism. How can we silence these people?
Chris's face lights up as he's just had an idea. He picks up the phone on his desk and dials.
Chris looks at the camera and maintains the evil look on his face through the fade.
END SCENE
Handynerd Corner: 3
So, I just got back from the doctors office, where I let a man shove his hand up my ass, and this time not recreationally. I did this for two reasons. One: I'm getting older, and as men get older they need to have a man shove his hand up their ass for a reason that escapes me. Two: I needed to steal some latex gloves, and what better way to steal latex gloves than to spend three hours in a waiting room, pay a $50 co-pay, then have an older man violate you. Okay, now I have to separate the hand portion of this glove from the ring portion, which is something I wish the doctor had done before he performed his "exam".
So, I've removed the ring portion of the glove from the hand portion, and now to slip the ring portion over the outside of the iPhone.
Hunter tries to put the ring on the iPhone and fails.
Wait, let's try this again.
Hunter tries to put the ring on the iPhone, get the ring on three corners of the iPhone and fails. Hunter then throws the ring away.
Okay, so apparently this isn't going to work. What else can I do?
Hunter thinks for a second.
I guess I could try the handynerd's secret weapon, duct tape, like I do with ever other project I do, but that is such a basic solution, someone else would have come up with it before me.
Hunter appears on screen with an iPhone covered from top to bottom with duct tape.
So apparently covering the whole damn thing with duct tape does work to solve the antenna problem, and makes for a relatively inexpensive case. Well, that's it for the Handynerd portion of the show, and remember: If a woman is repulsed by your nerdiness, she can at least find you handy. Now to test it out.
Hunter places a phone call.
Hello? Yes, it's me. I'm testing out my iPhone fix. Okay, later.
Hunter hangs up the phone.
Red Is Annoyingly Blissful
THE NEW KORN CD IS OUT! I'M NEARLY BURSTING WITH HOW HAPPY I AM! WAIT, OH SHIT!
Red explodes.
Also, The Black Robin Christmas Carol, November 1st, assuming we can gather all the pieces of Hunter Red back together.
So I went to a concert on Saturday. Guess who I saw?
That's right! I'm saw Barry Manilo!
(Sarcasm emoticon)
Roger Federer: Ladies Man On Tuesday, tennis superstar and twelve inch python owner Roger Federer lost in the quarterfinals of the French Open, which is a tennis tournament held in French Lick, Indiana. When asked what lead to his loss, Mr. Federer said,
"My loss was due, in large part, to me failing to convert on several match points, as well as my numerous foot faults, which prevented me from gaining much of an advantage when I was serving. Also, I nailed three broads last night and am only conscious now because of a can of Red Bull the size of a Buick." A similar excuse was attempted by Will Forte when explaining why his movie, MacGruber, tanked at the box office. When he was told that the film was in fact on film and not being broadcasted live from the videocameras the NSA imbeds in the walls of all American domiciles, Mr. Forte said, "DAMN IT!"
Red Interviewed
About a month ago I did an interview for a 1UP user named soulsaver(link to his profile page), a journalism student out of Illinois. The article he was working on is an interesting one and deals with a topic that is debated a lot inside and outside of gaming circles. Check it out.
Hunter Red- Ladie Politician Magnet In recent weeks a blogger and a lobbyist have claimed to have had an intimate physical affair with South Carolina candidate for Governor Nikki Haley. Neither the blogger or the lobbyist have presented any hard proof that this affair took place, but this story had received national attention nonetheless. This story, as well as my conscious and my faith, has driven me to confess to something I vowed I would never confess to. This is Enid Greene. Miss Greene is a politician from the state of Utah who served one term in the United States House of Representatives. During the 2004 session of the Utah State Legislature, I ran into Miss Greene at the Salt Lake Hilton located at 300 West and East Temple in downtown Salt Lake City, Utah. She complimented me on my hair and I complimented her on her Hillary-esque business suit. We continued our conversation at the hotel bar as we consumed alcohol, finger sandwiches, and alcohol. The location of our conversation soon changed to a hotel room at the Salt Lake Hilton and our food of choice soon changed to pan fried pancetta. Eventually our conversation turned more intimate, conversation turned to action, and our actions started going down the same normal road. For the sake of decency I'm not going to go into much detail, but I, Hunter Wallace Red, will say that I had an intimate physical encounter with Enid Green. Twice. Okay, three times. What evidence do I have that this encounter actually took place? None. I, at this time, am unable to produce any photographs, videos, letters, or sworn testimony that an intimate physical encounter took place between myself and Miss Greene. Will Miss Greene admit to this encounter when asked? No, but what politician would? So, you have to ask yourself: Is what I am claiming to be believed? Is this unproven, unsubstantiated, and unsolicited claim made by an anonymous blogger true?
I received a text message on Friday telling me a very special product had been made available. So I got in my car, ran down to my local independent record store (Graywhale), and got three things.
The first is this: Keane- Perfect Symmetry This is a band that I've been in to for a while now. I plan to listen to it at work on Saturday.
The second is... Nightmare Revisited I bought this because there's a Korn song on the CD, and I LOVE KORN!!!
The third is this: Little Big Planet for PS3 That's right. I got one of the most hotly anticipated games for the PS3 on the Friday before the street date. Not pirated, not a beta, a totally legit and complete copy of the game. Just goes to show the value of frequenting your local independent record store. Sometimes you can get cool shit like this. Hahahahah!!!
So, what do I think of it? I can't tell you because I haven't played it yet! That's the great thing about buying games, you can take your sweet time getting around to playing it. I'll probably get around to playing it on Sunday though, so come look for me when you finally get your copy.
Take your normal superhero origin story. Guy gets powers, guy realizes he has powers, guy goes out to save the world. Now factor this in: the guy has a score to settle.
Everybody wonders what it is that makes them who they are. The Hawk thought that question was securely answered. However a meeting with a boy in a hospital causes him to question everything. Why he is, who he is, what he is, and even if he is.
Eleven years after the events of Consequences Of Mayorust, The Hawk finds himself dealing with many of the same issues that many of us deal with: A less than satisfying job, co-workers of variant annoyance, and a romantic life is unhealthy at best. Thrust into all this is Madison Medina, a well meaning woman who's adversarial relationship with The Hawk morphs into a kind of friendship. Madison, in addition to learning more about herself and her abilities, help to reveal deeper problems inside the organization both she and The Hawk work for.
In every workplace there is a person. A person who doesn't talk to anyone, has walled themselves socially, and seems openly hostile to everyone. Every workplace has this person, even if you don't know of such a person, they're there. The Black Robin Christmas Carol is the story of one of these people. It delves into who this person is, why this person is, and how this person can change for the better.
There is a story. A story of pain, a story of loss, a story of unspeakable horrors, a story that has not been given it's proper attention. Some are ignoring this story. Some are unaware of this story. Some know of this story but are complicit in it's darkness. This is a story that must be told. Told so that the good can stop it and the bad can feel shame for it.
When I thought up thig blog, the name I first thought up was "Random Bullshit". Quickly I recognized that this name would put some people off. Then I thought of the name "Random Bull****". That seemed to be to much clutter. Then I was inspired with the name that dons this blog today.
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