****- Glenn Beck Stole Muhammad's iPad!!!

Playing With My New iPad

Writing up my blog post should be interesting given the fact that I'm so used to typing things up on a regular keyboard. It's not that I don't like the touch keyboard on the iPad, hell, I like the keyboard on the iPod Touch. I just wish I could type by way of feeling the keyboard, like I do at work. I don't think I've taken my eyes off the keyboard once while I am typing out this thought. At least the speaker on the iPad is really nice. Listening to Amanda Palmer's Ampersand makes me feel oddly at ease while typing out my thoughts.

The Red Interview: Beck

Hunter Red is sitting alone on a dimly lit raised platform with two chairs on it with an iPad in his hand. An overblown light display is triggered ending with the spotlight being shown on Hunter Red.
Hunter- Good evening and welcome to The Red Interview. I am your host Hunter Red. Without much further ado, let's bring out my guest. Tonight my guest is Beck.

A spotlight is shown on the right side of the stage, and Glenn Beck enters it and walks out to the raised platform and fills the other chair on the stage. Hunter Red has a disgusted look on his face as Glenn Beck makes his entrance.
Glenn Beck- Hello Hunter. Thanks for having me here tonight.
Hunter Red still has a disgusted look on his face.
Hunter- Yeah, I'll be back.
Hunter Red gets out of his chair and walks off stage carrying his iPad. The camera follows him backstage as he walks up to and begins to talk to the show's producer.
Hunter- Chris?
Chris- Yes?
H- What the hell is he doing here?
C- What?
H- Glenn Beck is my guest tonight?
C- Yes, yes he is. Do you have a problem with that?
H- Yes!
C- Why, because he's a conservative and you're a bleeding heart liberal?
H- No.
C- Then what is it?
H- I asked you to book Beck.
C- Yes, and I did that for you.
H- I didn't mean Glenn Beck.
C- Yes you did.
H- No I didn't!
C- You told me, at the start of the new season, I want you to book me Beck. You said that you loved his work and have always wanted to get inside his pants.
H- I said I wanted to get inside his head.
C- Whatever.
H- And by "he" I didn't mean him!
C- I don't follow.
H- I didn't want you to book Glenn Beck as a guest on The Red Interview, I wanted you to book Beck.
H- Not that Beck, the musician Beck.
C- I don't follow.
Hunter turns on his iPad, finds the embedded video below, and plays it for Chris.

Hunter- This is the Beck I wanted you to book. The musician Beck Hansen.
Chris- I'm unfamiliar with this kind of music? Is this the music you listen to when you're high?
Hunter gets visibly frustrated.
Hunter- Jeff Beck would have been a more fitting choice than Glenn Beck.
Chris- Who?
Hunter turns off his iPad, rears back, and hits Chris with his iPad. The camera follows Hunter as he walks back to the raised platform and sits back in his chair.
Hunter- Well, I'm sorry Mr. Beck, I'm sorry to have wasted your time here today.
Glenn- What do you mean?
H- I didn't want to book you as a guest, I wanted to book the musician Beck as a guest.
G- Jeff Beck? That guy's music is great. I'm looking forward to seeing him on tour with Eric Clapton soon.
H- Yeah, so am I. Wanna play with my iPad?
G- Sure.
Hunter Red hands Glenn Beck his iPad.
Hunter- Well, that's all the time we have for The Red Interview for tonight. I am Hunter Red telling my producer Chris that his ass is fired.
The overblown light display is triggered. As the overblown light display turn the raised platform from a lighted one to a dimly light one, Glenn Beck is seen darting off the platform with Hunter's iPad in his hand. Hunter runs after Glenn as the scene ends.


Playing With My iPad's Keyboard

So I bought a keyboard for my iPad and am liking this setup much better than using the touch keyboard. I could see myself quickly typing something, like a blog post, up by quickly turning on my iPad, hooking up the keyboard, and typing away. I don't like how I have to take my iPad out of the case I bought when I bought my new toy to use this keyboard, but that can be addressed by buying another, and probably, better case. Yes, I'm spending money like it's falling from the sky, which is apropos because it's raining right now.

John Mayer In Concert

This summer, a modern day guitar marvel is coming to a town near you. This summer, a sultry ladies man is coming to a town near you. This summer John Mayer is coming to a town near you. John Mayer in concert.

John Mayer's 2010 Summer Tour is brought to you by Touche brand douche products. When you want the best douche in the world, think only of Touche.

Pages on iPad

I bought this app on iTunes that I fooled around with in the Apple Store. It's called Pages and it's supposed to be like a real word processor. It works pretty good. I mean it's no Word but it's something. At the very least I can actually see how long my blog post will be now.

I just found out I can add pictures and graphs easily to this document. Now I can share my porn and how much I spend on porn with you! YAY!!!

Consistent Inconsistency

Like many of you, I was offended by Comedy Central's action's regarding South Park's Episode 201. My offense is not driven by me thinking the Muslim prophet Muhammad is worthy of ridicule, my offense is driven by the inconsistent actions of Comedy Central.

If South Park is not allowed to show Muhammad in a less than positive light, why are they allowed to show a Hindu god doing cocaine?

If South Park is not allowed to do things that offend followers of a religion on a basic level, why was South Park allowed to criticize the translation of The Book of Mormon?

If South Park is not allowed to depict situations despite threats from religions of repercussions from depicting those things, why was South Park allowed to depict Stan Marsh as the leader of the Church Of Scientology?

If Comedy Central allows South Park to depict other religions in ways that those religions might find offensive, why draw the line at the Muslim faith? And don't just say it's because they are afraid that Muslims will blow up Comedy Central and South Park Studios. That is petty, stupid, and quite racist. I learned that lesson when I sounded off about Media Molecule altering Little Big Planet just before it was released.

No comments: