Much effort was made
to put in the mechanism
to allow natural light in.
Natural light quickly overrun
by the artificial.
It makes you wonder
why they put in the effort.
Effort quickly put to waste
by that which was already there
and is preferred by most.
I don't even like the natural light.
Mostly because I can't distinguish it from the rest.
Deal With It
Don't think I don't notice you.
Don't think I don't know you are there.
Don't think I don't know what you are doing.
Don't think I don't feel that.
Don't think I don't notice the various debris that you throw at me.
Don't think I don't know that you are aiming at my head, but mostly missing.
Don't think I don't know that you are aiming at my head, and occasionally connecting.
Don't think I don't notice you, I just choose to ignore you.
I know you want me to move.
I know you want to be rid of me.
I know you want me, in my despair, to leave this situation that you are making even more hostile to me.
I know you want me gone, if not from this world, at least this place.
I know all of this, but I refuse.
I refuse to move from this place.
I refuse to put myself is a situation more hospitable to me.
I refuse to put myself in a place where I can be happy.
I refuse, for I know that if I relent, you win.
I refuse to allow that to happen.
I know what you want, don't think I don't, I refuse.
I will always refuse, deal with it.
Grandpa Buys A Building
Hi. I'm Roger Red, President and CEO of The Redertainment Corporation Of America. I've been around this great country of ours, and I've noticed something in my travels. From the ivy covered universities of the northeast to the waterlogged colleges of Louisiana, every great institution of higher learning has a program dedicated to scientific endeavors. Every institution except for the college I graduated from, The College Of Utah. You see, The College Of Utah strives for a higher purpose, a more nobel ideal. And, as a upstanding Mormon, I am glad to give my name and my money to the pursuit of that ideal.
Ladies and gentlemen and liberals, I present to you The Rodger Wallace Red Institute For Creationsitic Endeavors. At this institute, world class creationists are breaking boundaries and making new discoveries in the world of creationism. Unlike other creationistic institutions, we at The Rodger Wallace Red Institute For Creationistic Endeavors do not just blindly follow The Bible. We also follow the vast wealth of knowledge in the Book Of Mormon, the Doctrine and Covenants, and the vastly influential Pear Of Great Price.
As science is quickly losing relevance in our overwhelmingly conservative world, creationism and creationists are filling the void. Whereas before the truth was a constantly changing thing, not the truth is set in stone. Creationism stone.
I Don't Belong In This World
I don't belong in this world
I hear them talking
I hear the bigotry
the anti-intellectualism
the anti-thinking
the tearing down of bridges
the widening of rifts
the insistence that we drive out the outsider
the non-conformist
the weird
the insistence that peace can only come from purity
I don't belong in this world
Good.
Inappropriate Music Choices
Hello, and welcome to this, The 37th Annual The Redertainment Corporation Of America Charitable Gala, Auction, and Go-Kart Tournament. I'm your emcee Anthony Severe. Before we get to the dancing and the go-karting, let's get the auction underway. Mr. Red has been gracious enough to provide music for each of the items up for bid. He didn't provide any items for the auction, but he's an uncaring liberal.
The first item up for bid is a one hundred dollar gift certificate to Takashi in downtown Salt Lake City. Takashi is regularly recognized as the finest Japanese cuisine restaurant in Salt Lake City by man publications, as well as the communist newspaper. Takashi.
The second item is an invitation to a preview of Salt Lake's first authentic German restaurant, Rosenrot. Rosenrot finally brings authentic German dishes, alcohol, and atmosphere to a population that has been craving it. Rosenrot.
The third item is a cricket bat, supplied to us by Queen's Select. Queen's Select has been Salt Lake's British import leader since 1952. Featuring authentic English candy, clothing, and novelties, Queen's Select is a must stop place for any Anglophile. Queen's Select.
Our final item up for bid is a Fortune Teller set from The Muted Assistant. This set includes a crystal ball, tarot cards, and a headscarf that is in no way connected to Muslims. The Muted Assistant, at the corner of East Temple and Redwood Road, is the premier location for hobbyist, professionals, or anyone who wants to astound the inebriated. The Muted Assistant.
That's all the items up for auction, put in your bids because these items are hot. We'll get the Go-Kart Tournament started in a minute, but first, a song to get the Gala started.
Coming Soon, Writing Mama!
Cooking Mama Limited's Cooking Mama franchise, starting from the humble beginnings of teaching nerds how to cook, has quickly expanded into a multi-genre, multi-platform, multi-million dollar juggernaut. In the process, the protagonist of this series, Mama, has participated in a number of domestic orientated activities, from cooking and baking, to horticulture, babysitting, and craftwork. Now Cooking Mama Limited is set to take Mama on a journey that will take their domestic moneymaker far beyond the confines of the home. However, as with all attempts to take women out of the home, conservatives have slammed Cooking Mama Limited for this endeavor. Is the Right correct in their criticism? Let's take a look at the game and see.
Cooking Mama Limited's recently announced Directing Mama game takes the protagonist, Mama, into the world of filmmaking for the first time. Players can take Mama through the path of making small home made films, gritty indie flicks, low budget hollywood releases, to, if you play the game well enough, big budget blockbusters. It seems it's the gritty indie flicks portion of the game that has gotten the conservative's ire.
The spokesman for the Family Video Game Advisory Corporation, Ned Flanders, Ned Flanders said of Directing Mama, "The gritty indie flicks portion of this game has the player creating movies that contain scenes that amount to softcore pornography. I am not being overly dramatic when I say that. I have watched thousands of hours of many different forms of pornography, for research purposes only, and I can conclusively say that the scenes depicted in Directing Mama fall right between sweaty fully-clothed dry humping and half-naked intercourse with flashes of penetration, right where softcore pornography is nestled."
The conservative outrage over Directing Mama is expected to last for some time, mostly because there is no Grand Theft Auto game on the horizon. Many loyal followers of the Cooking Mama series have already pre-ordered this new installment of the series, and are eagerly anticipating directing Mama in their own interpretation of White Chocolate Pudding.
Elite Movie
Many animation aficionados are aware of the work of Dawny and Murray. The 70s era series of animated shorts, a parody of musicians Donnie and Marie Osmond, hold a very loyal following among the people who have been fortunate enough to see it. These fans were, needless to say, thrilled with the announcement of the production of new Dawny and Murray shorts. These shorts were scheduled to be released along with Elite Movie, the latest in the series of movies from the people who brought you the Scary Movie movies.
Now the release of the new Dawny and Murray shorts have been put in jeopardy after announcement of the cancellation of Elite Movie. Elite Movie, which was to be a parody of the 24 hour news cycle, was cancelled after the realization that the 24 news industry is a parody of itself. Proof of this comes in the continued employment of Nancy Grace, Glen Beck, and Ed Schultz. It is unknown what will be done with the footage already shot for this movie, but that is not the focus of the attention at this point.
Fans of Dawny and Murray have organized an internet petition campaign to urge the studio set to release the new animated shorts, Entertainment Arts, either in the theaters or as a direct to DVD release. E.A. President of Animated Development, Trevor Griffin, said of a possible release, "We at Entertainment Arts are proud of the new Dawny and Murray shorts we have produced, and we do intend on making these animated works available to the public. However, let me be clear, we sunk a lot of money into Elite Movie. We spent 45 Million dollars on fake vomit alone. If we don't make some money, in some way, from this project, my ass is grass."
Trevor Griffin's words have not been received well by fans of Dawny and Murray fans. Many are prepared to pay up to $60 to view these shorts, but are not happy about it.
Why?
I can see her.
I can see her lying, sleeping, there.
I can see her gently rising and falling bosom.
I can see her long, slender, strong, legs.
I can see her gently sloping curves.
I can see her ivory skin, reflecting the light of morning.
I can see her hair, once controlled, now flowing beautifully free.
I can see her, basked in the serenity that comes with slumber.
I can see her there, I am certain that I can.
However, I know that she is not there.
I know that she was never there.
So why can I see her?
Why does she haunt my life so?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Red Review- Columbine by Dave Cullen
For many of my generation, the terrorist attacks that occurred on September 11th, 2001 is the most significant event in our lives. The 9/11 Commission Report sought to explain that event. The 9/11 Commission Report lays out the events of that day in start detail. It delves into the persons responsible for those terrorist acts, their background, their motives, and their methods. It delves into the people who were supposed to stop those terrorist acts, what they missed, how they missed it, and why. The 9/11 Commission Report tells what happened before, during, and after those terrorist attacks. The 9/11 Commission Report is the most comprehensive, least biased, and definitive account of the events of September 11th, 2001. In his book, Dave Cullen, a freelance reporter in Denver, sought to create the definitive account of an event he covered.
Columbine by Dave Cullen is about the events that took place at Columbine High School on April 20th, 1999. This book details why committed these acts, the victims of these acts, the families of the victims and the perpetrators, the police, the media, nearly everyone who was directly impacted by the events of April 20th, 1999. The detail that Dave Cullen goes into about actions, reactions, mental statuses, and nearly everything having to do with the events are, at times, riveting, revelatory, and uncomfortable to read. Columbine doesn't convey a perfect understanding of the tragic events of April 20th, 1999, as a perfect understanding does not exist, but it does convey the best understanding that exists today. Through his hard work and diligence, Dave Cullen has compiled what is, in my opinion, the definitive account of that is, again my opinion, the most significant event of my generation.
Columbine by Dave Cullen: A+, Highly Recommended
The Third Annual Four Star Gaming Awards: Nomination Special
Hello! Anthony Severe here, picking up the slack for Hunter Red, who is still in a rehabilitation facility in Park City, Utah. The time has come for the process to start for The Third Annual Four Star Gaming Awards. The nomination process is now open, and you the reader can participate! Simply submit your winner in any, or all, of the catagories listed below. You can even submit the reason why you think your choice should win. Nominations for The Third Annual Four Star Gaming Awards will close on Monday, December 20th, with the award ceremony scheduled for Monday, December 27th. You can submit your winner to the following places:
Twitter: @Redertainment
Facebook: Send a message to Hunter Red
Email: redertainment@live.com
Or submit a comment or reply wherever you are reading this.
Award Categories
Game Of The Year
Xbox 360 Game Of The Year
Playstation 3 Game Of The Year
Nintendo Wii Game Of The Year
Downloadable Game Of The Year
Biggest Gaming Disappointment Of The Year
Best New IP Of The Year
Non-Gaming Thing Most Deserving Of An Award
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